The alarm blared. Subject K had pressed the panic button. It had been five times in the past hour.
Maria was angry. Of all times Subject K had to press that button, it was when she was going to shred some old reports before knocking off work. Cursing under her breath, she raced down the hallway while cradling some yellowing reports in her arm.
She breathed deeply and put on a sweet smile. She strode into a white-walled room sealed by a triple durasteel-reinforced blast door.
A six-year-old girl with stunning blue eyes dressed in a faded onesie ran up to her and handed her a violin with all its strings broken. Maria tucked the reports under her arm and took the violin from the girl.
"Give me the telly remote and a lolly. I want to watch Engine Sentai Go-onger."
The rude girl was Subject K, the eleventh doctoral candidate Alphabet Soup was grooming. They call her K. Maria was in charge of her education and her well-being.
K never stopped criticizing Engine Sentai Go-onger's scientific realism and its plot, but she watched it four times. This will be her fifth time watching it.
"Again?Dios mío, K! You have five weekz left before you have to defend zis doctoral thesis on ze biofield application. You -"
"It is finished ages ago and I'm bored," K whined.
Maria muttered under her breath,"kids."
"What is this?"
K fished out a report that was tucked under Maria's arm. It caused the rest of the reports to clatter on the ground.
Maria let out a silent gasp of exasperation before squatting down to pick up the reports.
"What is this? Whatisthis? Whatisthiswhatisthiswhatisthis?"
"It eez juz a research report by a former co-worker, K. Ignatius. We used to call 'imz iggy."
"Ziggy?" K frowned.
"Iggy. Short for Ignatius."
"Is it any good?"
"No. eez crap," Maria said flatly. She immediately pressed the reports into K's tiny hands.
"Read this. Tear it up and make paper planes or helicopters. Use it as toilet paper. I don't care. Just don't prezz ze button until tomorrow."
Maria walked away quickly. She spent too much time babysitting K. She was late for a dinner with her boyfriend already.
It takes a village to raise a child: Nurturing the best minds of Alphabet Soup
by Ignatius Xavier Venj, Research Analyst
Abstract: Alphabet Soup had been grooming prepubescent genii from as young as five to advance scientific progress at all costs. For generations, Alphabet Soup used deindividuation techniques employed by the military to instill discipline and focus in these young minds so as to get them to produce scientific breakthroughs in various STEM fields. However, none of the ten subjects in Alphabet Soup's program survived beyond their forties. Subjects A to J were highly intelligent individuals with a median IQ score of 283 and were talented in more than a single area. However, they started exhibiting symptoms associated with different mental disorders after five years in Alphabet Soup. As such this paper will seek to investigate ways to optimize the functioning of such individuals. Results of interventions created by different psychiatrists were derived from video surveillance recordings of the subjects' time spent in Alphabet Soup till their last days. This paper would recommend that senior management could adopt the following policies regarding their subjects: open and frank communication, increased time spent outdoors, increased social contact have a positive effect on the mental health of the subjects.
To Cite: Venj. I. X., (2017). It takes a village to raise a child: Nurturing the best minds of Alphabet Soup. (Alphabet Soup Research Brief Report 42/2017). Boston: Alphabet Soup.
...
K closed the report after she finished reading it and remarked, "It is rubbish."
She tore out the first page and made a paper airplane with it. Then she made a paper helicopter. and five more animal-shaped cars.
"Whee!"