Chapter 1

It never seemed real. Any of it. I remember the voices, playing around me; as if it wasn't real life. The voices, and the people owning them were far away, it was like they were on a TV show. The irony behind the thought was overwhelming. I knew that if I'd never signed up for this stupid show I wouldn't be in this situation now. I had nothing.

I heard Marshall calling me back to where I was supposed to be, "Sonny, please. You've got to get out there. I know it's hard.. but the show must go on!". I knew it wasn't fair on him. It was causing him ridiculous amounts of stress, me just sitting here; but what did he expect me to do? I had just lost everything that was important to me, and he just expected me to shrug it off as if my life hadn't just collapsed.

"Marshall.." my voice was croaky, betraying the fact that I was trying to hide. I was breaking down, but I knew I had to find a way to carry on, "How can you just expect me to go straight back out there? I know the show means everything to you, but that was my mother! My mom and my dad! And you just expect me to stand up and say 'Oh well, we've got a show to do'? That's not going to happen! They were my only family, and now they're gone. I'm sorry if you don't think that's enough reason to have a day off."

I could hear the speakers in the background as I walked away from him, "Let's get back to Sooooooo Random", but the second half of the show would be running without me. As I walked through the studio I thought back to 15 minutes before, and how a couple of words had destroyed my life, my job, and everything I knew.

"Sonny Monroe?" this was a stranger; not someone I'd ever spoken to before, but from the look on her face, I knew it wasn't good news.

"Yeah. That's me. Umm sorry, I don't wanna keep you waiting, but my mom just went to pick my dad up from the airport, and I haven't seen him for months. Do you think this could wait?"
"Actually Miss Monroe, that's what I'm here to talk to you about." Her face betrayed nothing as she spoke. How bad could it be? Maybe they got caught speeding and were held up talking to the police.

"Go for it." She looked at me reproachfully, as if what I'd said had offended her in some way.

"I'm afraid, on the way back from the airport, a drunk driver ran a red light, and he.. well, to cut to the chase, he hit your parents car."

"Oh my God! Where are they? What hospital? I have to see them! Make sure they're alright." I was already walking away from her. I needed to see them for myself.

"No Miss Monroe. You don't understand. You won't be able to see them."

"Well. Why not?" I was still walking; she couldn't stop me from seeing them. They were my parents for Christ's sake!

"There were some witnesses to the crash, and they called 911 immediately.. but unfortunately it was a DOA situation." I looked at her in confusion. DOA? I had no idea what that meant.

"What're you talking about?"

"DOA.. Dead on arrival. I'm sorry Sonny. They're gone."

I stared at her, unable to respond. How could this have happened? People drove to the airport all the time, this journey shouldn't have been any different to any of the others. But it was. I shouldn't have been rendered an orphan. But I was.

I stumbled through the parking lot, needing to get out of there. It was only once I'd looked all around me that I realised the car wasn't there. The car was on some road somewhere. The same somewhere where my parents had died. I sank to the floor, sobs making my chest heave. All I wanted to do was throw up, but I knew that, that wouldn't help. I looked up and took deep breaths, fighting off the gag reflex, and that's when I saw him. Chad. He was staring across the parking lot towards me. I stared back, and gave a meek impression of a smile, and he started towards me. I didn't want to have that conversation yet, I wasn't ready; the unrelenting tears were still stinging my face, and I knew with absolute certainty, that I didn't want him to see me like this.

"Heyy, what's going on?" And as he looked at me, I knew I needed to answer him, but I couldn't find the strength. Over and over I just kept mumbling, "They're.. g-gone."

"Who's gone? Sonny, what're you talking about?" As he said this I felt another round of hysteria coming on. He didn't know, of course he didn't, but I felt as if someone had removed the pavement from underneath me, and i was falling, falling, and no one was going to catch me. Chad took my hand and his blue eyes looked into mine, hypnotising me.

"M-my parents." I stammered.

"Where did they go?"

"They.. they urr.. they died. Car crash." I cried, and had to fight the want to vomit again as Chad pulled me into his arms, crushing me. But it was a good feeling. Because of this I knew I was still real, and that there was still someone there to care for me. I knew that I wasn't alone.

"What happened?" His curiosity broke the silence, and I couldn't blame him for asking, but I didn't want to answer his question. After a few seconds of my silence he seemed to understand.

"Not now? That's cool. Maybe you could tell me some other time?" I took a deep breath.

"Some drunk driver ran a red light. Crashed straight in to them. I don't know whether they died straight away, or if they had to suffer. All I know is that they were dead by the time the ambulance got there." I had to stop, even though I needed to carry on. We sat in silence, Chad clearly had no idea of what to say, and I couldn't blame him for that.

"You know what?" I paused, making sure he was listening. "This is my fault." He began to protest, but I carried on. "No, Chad, Shut up, it is. It was my dreams that separated our family, it was me that HAD to be part of 'So Random', and it was me that HAD to have her dad here for her birthday. If I hadn't been so selfish, my family would still be a whole, and we'd probably all be sat up watching a movie back in Wisconsin."

"Sonny, you can't blame yourself for following your dreams. Sure, you didn't have to ask for all of that, but come on. None of it's unreasonable, and of course you'd want your dad with you for your birthday! That's normal Sonny! And as for So Random; when life offers you a dream, so far beyond anything that you'd ever expected, it would had been unreasonable to turn it down. And yes, you're sad, and you definitely have the right to be. But everyone dies sooner or later. Who's to say that staying in Wisconsin would've turned out any different? Maybe it would've still happened, but it different circumstances."

"No Chad, you don't understand! My parents never wanted me to come here! But they supported me because they knew I really wanted it! And I did, but that doesn't excuse my selfishness. This is my punishment for making those I love miserable. They've been taken away."

And I truly believed that it was all my fault. Sitting there in Chad's arms, I thought about everything that had happened to me, and how I'd lost nearly everything near, and dear to me. And all the time we sat there, in the background I could hear the muffled laughter of the studio audience of So Random.