"I fought back."

You blame yourself, of course.

Bones, on the other hand, would point out in a heartbeat that it's not your fault; you were miles away with her, he was the one that volunteered to get the files.

It doesn't matter. None of it matters.

You knew what was at stake when you took this case and you knew in your gut that he shouldn't have gone on his own, knew you should have gone with him.

But you didn't.

And now he's dead.

Lance Sweets, Psy.D., Ph.D., soon-to-be father, the second little brother you never knew you wanted.

"You'd be proud."

None of this is fair.

Sweets had a whole life in front of him, he had a baby on the way.

(Why did he name you the godfather? How can you protect his kid when you couldn't even protect him?)

He warned you to slow down, that even though time was of the essence, you didn't have to rush that meeting with Sanderson.

(If you hadn't rushed, would he still be alive? If you'd moved quicker, would he still be alive?)

His eyes are still open when Cam unzips the body bag (why didn't you close his eyes?) and you turn away from the scene before you, away from the gasps and curses.

Sweets was family and now he's lying on a cold slab, bloodless and broken and God whywhywhywhywhywhy?!

You should've been there with him, you should've stopped the bastard that did this.

(You stopped Pelant's proxy killer in the middle of a gridlock, you should have been able to stop this.)

He believed in you, stopped at nothing to help you. Proved his loyalty and love time and again, by pushing you and Bones together, by watching over Christine with a loving eye; always, always willing to put himself on the line for you.

He had a baby on the way and you know he would have been a great father, the same way he was a great uncle to Christine.

(God, how are you going to explain this to Christine?)

Why couldn't you have been there when he needed you, the way he was always there for you?

"You too. The world is a lot better than you think it is. It's..."

He died comforting you.

And it makes you sick that his last words were for you; trying to comfort you, offering you a solace you don't deserve with every breath he should have saved. But that was Sweets all the way, wasn't it? He helped out everyone a hundred times over before even considering helping himself.

(You're reminded of what Caroline told you following Heather Taffet's murder. How he tortured himself with that damn tape while helping everyone else deal with what had happened.)

The world was a lot better than you thought it was when Sweets was there, but now?

Now it's just like how you thought it was; heartless and unfair, skewed in the wrong person's favor.

(God, why did it have to be him?)

Unbeta'd. Title from 'The Reckless and the Brave (Acoustic)' by All Time Low.