helo! my 2nd ff in the kh secton, wanted cher my thots s'more! gg! kekee! g2g, bbl, dgh, abb! flames will b used to ignite large contrys in ballz of flamez. don't be a terrorist :(
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Riku stood outside the cave as he watched the two from a distance. Sora and Kairi had started to get closer in the past couple of weeks…a little too close, the teen mused. As the countless inhabitants of Destiny Islands knew, Sora was Riku's boyfriend, or vice-verca (it really didn't matter). However, Kairi seemed to have very little disregard for normal relationships on Destiny Island, which consisted mainly of male/male relationships. It was the few oddballs (those who practiced male/female relationships) that actually kept the human race going. Riku sat down on a rock, thinking things back and forth in his mind.
"Tomorrows the day of the Paopu fruit giveout.
But this Kairi dilemma puts my mind in doubt.
Sora is attracted by the young girl's nice features,
but women are useless. Such vile, poor creatures."
He stood up and paced around the room. Every year, the inhabitants of the island gave out Paopu fruit to their beloved's, in hopes that their lives would be intertwined forever. However, Sora had always not participated in the event, being too young. Now, however, was the year when he would finally be able to understand the meaning of the event (conveniently). Riku had spent months buttering Sora up so that the two would exchange fruit at the event, but Kairi apparently had similar ideas, as the two seemed inseperable. He kicked the side of the cave.
"That blasted young girl, always in the way.
Sora'll be mine, on the giveaway day.
You'll cry, little girl, and I'll happily stay
in the arms of my lover, even though he's not ga-"
Just then, a large bird entered the entrance to the cave. Riku smiled and looked at the strange creature, which looked like a mix of an owl and an ostrich.
"Tell me, Slimith, your spy report now!
Are they intertwined? Can I stop them? How?"
Slimith smoothed his feathers.
"Oh, Master Riku, forgive me, you see…
I could not spy on them, it isn't easy.
For the girl and the boy, I must report,
made plans to go to the shack, near the ship port.
Although that I am sure you know,
I must report, I must make it so…
the oddballs go to that place every while,
to do the thing that makes them smile…
I'm sure you know what I'm talking about,
so I'll leave you here now, as in kicks the doubt."
Riku raised his voice to yell at the bird, but it already had flown out the door of the cave, over the island and out of sight. Riku raised his hands to his head and paced the cave, incredulous and angry.
"They've gone that far!? They've already gone there?
How could she do it?! It just isn't fair!
I love that boy, even without love's return!
Their love," the boy thought, "will very soon burn!"
He walked out the door of the cave and looked in the direction of the shack.
"Kairi's an oddball, I'm quite sure of this,
but Sora, he can't be. What exactly did I miss?
He told me just a week ago I made him feel nice,
but instead of tails and snails, he chose sugar and spice!?
I cannot believe it. She's tricked him, I say!
I must stop the act, must stop it this day!
I've seen oddballs destroy relationships for years now,
and I must stop this coupling from occurring, but how?"
It was then that Riku got an idea.
"I'll take a big glass of water and a straw,
and place it outside of the shack, and ha!
When the girl gets tired, and goes out for the drink,
I'll slice off her head, in less time then a blink!"
He pondered it for another second, and then shook his head, rejecting it. It was then that he got an actually good idea.
"I will take their drinks, their wines and their rums!
I will take their protection, the pills and condoms!
I'll take the bed, and the window flaps too!
With an empty shack floor, they'll not want to screw!
And at that time I'll appear, with my hand on his arm,
then pointing in the direction of a slightly deserted farm,
I'll lead him to Bedrest, a bed-equipped room that's well dressed ,
and then," he said, with a wink, "That is not your business."
Riku arrived at the shack before the two arrived, and he did exactly as he had said. Off, came the sheets on the bed. Off, came the crimson red blinds. Off, came the bucket of ice with assorted spirits and wines. Out of the desk, he took the contraceptives. And last but not last, he took apart the bed piece by piece. He then moved all the stolen goods into his bag, quietly sneaking out the back, giggling.
He climbed up the rope ladders, up the trees, up the sheer rock walls, and up the face of the mountain that had always been there before. He took a look down at the shack to see Sora and Kairi walking into it, hand in hand. He shuddered at the sight, and then noticed Slimith flying towards up and taking his place next to him.
"They'll try to start now, and I know just what they'll do.
The girl will shrug and walk away, and the boy will go boo-hoo-hoo.
And that is a sound that I simply must hear!"
So the boy walked to the edge and put a hand to his ear.
But the sound that arose was not quite sad, but erotic!
and the boy was left dumbfounded. "Idiotic…"
For down there in that shed, within each small wall,
the two were having sex, without anything at all!
He grabbed the birds face and pulled it towards his own.
"They're doing it without drinks!"
He looked back down towards the shed, and then back at the bird.
"They're doing it without sheets of red!
They're doing it without condoms, pillows, or a bed!"
He stood there on that cliff, thinking and hearing the sounds, thinking and thinking.
Then the boy thought of something he hadn't, just then…
"Maybe the oddballs…aren't men and women…
Maybe the oddballs are men with men…"
And then hearing the sounds, on Destiny Island, they say
that Riku's manhood grew five sizes that day.
So he leaped from cliff in the blink of an eye,
until he remembered that the mountain was high…
the rock was quite sharp, and the impact was like lead,
in less then a minute, poor Riku was dead.
But those who are listening, don't cry or despair,
Riku learned something that I'd like to share…
That woman-loving Riku is in Heaven, and well…
if you write Yaoi fanfics, then you'll go to hell!
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