AN: This is a short Naruto fan-story, set sometime around the first film. I know this story will most likely be riddled with plot-holes, but it's just a short concept that I came up with and feel like writing, so don't focus too much on those. This is only set when it is because – where characters, techniques and skills available are concerned – this is the best time that I am aware of to set my story(Not having seen any Shippoden episodes and completely ignoring the 2 and a half series worth of fillers between Naruto and Naruto Shippoden). Another cause for plot-holes would be that my memory stinks.
I would also just like to point out that I have been watching the Japanese version of Naruto (subtitled), therefore throughout this story I will be using the Japanese phrases for techniques, adding certain honorifics to names and writing names surname first.
Translations for techniques etc. used in this chapter:
Hitai-ate - Ninja Headband (forehead protector)
Kage Bunshin no Jutsu -Shadow Clone Technique
Sharingan eye - Mirror Wheel Eye
Hatake Kakashi stood balancing on one leg at the very peak of a tree, combining reading the second instalment of his favourite series of books – Make-out paradise - and watching over the members of Team Seven; his three pupils; Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and Uchia Sasuke.
"Good form, guys!" He said into the microphone on his headset. "Keep this up and you'll be done by sunset!" His right eye looked back down at his adult-rated book as he continued to chuckle at it. His left eye was covered completely by his hitai-ate emblazoned with the Konohagakure leaf emblem, and the rest of his face was covered by a mask, and had been for almost his entire life.
"SUNSET!" Yelled an immediately recognisable voice in the earpiece; not at all surprising Kakashi. "WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE NOO- ack!" The voice was cut off as if it's owner were hit by something, and Kakashi watched from a distance as the owner indeed tumbled down from the tree he was sat in.
"NARUTO SHUT UP! YOU ALMOST DEAFENED US!" A second voice yelled, this one an enraged female.
"You're not much better yourself, Sakura-chan." The first voice unwittingly responded as its blonde-haired, orange-suited owner stood up, rubbing the back of his head.
"Rrrrrrrr- I SAID SHUT IT!" The pink-haired, red-dressed owner of the second voice seemed to throw something violently at the first speaker – apparently Naruto – to which he reacted by stumbling and nearly falling down.
"SAKURA-CHAN-"
"Sakura," a third voice spoke, this one calm, arrogant and male. "Despite how tempting it is, our mission isn't to throw acorns at Naruto, it's to collect them."
"Oh… O-of course, Sasuke-kun! You know how annoying Naruto can be, heh heh… NARUTO, pick those up!" The second speaker – Sakura - shouted this last order to Naruto then continued her work.
"Collecting acorns… what are we? Squirrels?" Naruto complained as dropped the two acorns that Sakura had used for dangerous projectiles into his pack and leapt back into the tree. "I can't believe we still have to do grunt jobs after all the stuff we've done!"
Despite the complete silence from the other two voices, Kakashi knew that they where thinking exactly the same thing; and he couldn't blame them. In all honesty, the grey-haired Jônin felt the same way, but every teacher worth their wage knows that they should never admit to a pupil that they agree with them about the pointlessness of an activity. "The reason we do D Rank missions is because somebody has to."
"But why does that somebody have to be US?" Naruto's voice rang out once again in his sensei's ear.
Kakashi sighed and lowered his book. "Well-" He was interrupted quite suddenly by three ropes shooting from apparently nowhere and wrapping themselves tightly around Kakashi's torso, binding his arms to his sides. Despite this "ambush", the expression in Kakashi's eye was one of only mild surprise, and he spoke with the same bored tone of voice as usual. "Oh, hold on."
"Sensei?"
"Continue with the mission, I've few pests to deal with." He looked around at his three attackers as they climbed up to stand on the peaks of the trees surrounding Kakashi. The three of them were completely identical; they all had spiked-up black hair, a brown scarf that covered the bottom half of their face and basic shinobi uniforms. They each had their brown hitai-ate in the usual place; tied at the back of the head so that the defensive metal plate guarded their foreheads. The ninja to the right of Kakashi tightened his grip on his rope and pulled it towards him. Kakashi looked at this one as the other two ninja quickly followed the first.
"Kage Bunshin?" Kakashi said calmly to the ninja he was looking at. "Well, I was wondering when you'd attack me."
The three ninja looked taken aback by this comment. "You… you knew I was there!"
"I heard you rustling in that tree about ten minutes ago."
The ninja to Kakashi's right, apparently the original form of the trio, pulled tighter on his rope, pulling the Jônin slightly closer to him. "So why didn't you attack me?"
"Because attacking when I don't know who the enemy is could be extremely foolish." With that Kakashi kicked off from the top of the tree, spiralling in midair to yank the ropes from the hands of the ninja and his replications. Pulling the now-loose rope from his body, he fell feet-first to forest floor, and landed in a battle ready stance, followed closely by the ninja and his shadow clones. He looked down at the closed Make-out paradise that was clutched in his left hand. "Damn, you made me lose my place."
"WHAT!" The ninja and his replications looked enraged. "I'm about to lay waste to your arse, and all you can think about is loosing your place in some moronic pornographic novel?"
Kakashi flicked through the pages of his book, not even looking at his attacker. "It's a good book."
An insane rage flashed through the enemy ninja's expression. "I'LL TEACH YOU TO MOCK ME!" He yelled as he and his shadow clones ran towards Kakashi, each raising a kunai ready to strike. The original form, Kakashi simply dodged, the second he parried with the spine of Make-out paradise and the third he dodged by hopping onto his head and off again.
"Ah! Here we are! Heh heh, a very good book." Kakashi closed his eye in a smile he directed towards the attacker.
Once again the insane rage came to the latter's expression, only this time it was more like someone turning the light on properly, not just flashing it. "THAT'S IT! I'LL TEACH YOU, YOU ARROGANT FOOL!"
Kakashi, who was still reading his book, raised his eyebrow. "Fool?"
The expression on the attacker's face intensified as he and his three clones made the same hand-sign and roared in synchronisation: "KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" Another two Shadow Clones appeared for each of the three forms, making eight clones and the main body altogether, these eight clones and the main body were completely surrounding Kakashi, each identical fist clenched on a kunai knife and poised to attack, each identical face bore the same contorted, angry expression. "NOW YOU WILL FACE MY FULL FURY!" yelled one of the identical ninja as Kakashi turned the page of his book.
Still reading the book, Kakashi dodged out of the way of the first clone to lunge at him, punched the second in the face, ducked under the strike of the third's kunai and stopped the forth in his tracks by grabbing his hitai-ate, slipping behind him and flipping up his leg to kick his attacker in the back of his head, pulling the hitai-ate loose.
All of the Shadow Clones disappeared in a poof on smoke, leaving Kakashi to look down at his attacker, who had propped himself up against the tree he had landed in front of. "How… How did you know which was the real me without even using your famous Sharingan!" the ninja asked in surprise.
"Because you were the only form to speak. If you're going to speak whilst using any form of Replication Jutsu, at least have the sense to vary the speaker or make it one of the clones." Kakashi drew a kunai, to which the other man reacted by throwing a shuriken and then fleeing.
Kakashi blocked the shuriken with his kunai before putting it back into its holster and looking down at the hitai-ate in his hand. The metal plate was engraved with a strange symbol Kakashi had never seen before; a diamond shape with an 'X' crossing straight through the centre of it. He stood still, staring at the symbol intently.
"Sensei?" said the slightly concerned voice of Haruno Sakura, startling Kakashi for a second.
"Oh, no worries Sakura-san! I don't know who he was, but he left in a hurry." He replied, a reassuring smile in his tone. "Now, what were you saying, Naruto?"
Naruto hopped through a few trees until he found the next Oak containing acorns. "YOU were explaining why we STILL get all the LOUSY PIECES OF CRAP MISSIONS LIKE THIS ONE!" He punched the trunk of the tree, causing a mixture of acorns and leaves to tumble down on top of him.
"NARUTO!" Yelled Sakura's voice, it would have been audible for everyone else even without the aid of their headsets. "Give Kakashi-sensei a break, Naruto! He didn't assign us the missions!"
"Maybe not, but I still want my question answered!"
Team Seven heard Kakashi sigh. "Fine, listen, Naruto I- What the-? Who-fzzzttz!"
Assuming that the "fzzzttz!" was the noise of the connection of their sensei's headset being cut off, the three panic-stricken Genin jumped down from their trees and began to rush to where Hatake Kakashi was being overcome with ease.
o o o o o
As Kakashi had begun what Naruto had hoped to be an explanation, another ninja, apparently much more successful at sneak attacks than their predecessor, had approached Kakashi from behind and secured a rope around him, much in the same way as the last attacker, but much more successfully, causing him to drop Make-out paradise and the first attacker's hitai-ate. Before Kakashi had had time to react in any way other than to turn partially, another attacker from the other side of him punched him in the back of his head, forcing Kakashi to the ground and sending his headpiece flying into the nearest tree. His arms bound tightly to his sides, Kakashi could do nothing to stop the second attacker making their next move; his head was wrenched upwards by tight, painful pull on his hair and a cloth shoved aggressively over his face, completely covering his mouth and nose.
"What… what… are you…" Kakashi struggled to keep his eyes open - let alone form sentence – as whatever was on the cloth he was being forced to breathe through began to take effect. Consciousness slipped away and his body became limp, the two attackers properly secured the rope that bound Kakashi and, between them, carried him off through the trees in a direction that led far away from Konohagakure Village.
Seconds later, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke arrived at the scene, staring down in horror at the smashed headset, the unfamiliar hitai-ate and Kakashi's Make-Out Paradise that lay open and page-down in the grass.