Sirius's Sorting

Sirius Black, eleven year old wizard, waited in the crowd of first years to be sorted. On the Hogwarts Express, he had been filling up on every sort of sweet there was, which had been quite a few. Now he couldn't sit, or stand still for even a second.

"Longbottom, Frank," Professor McGonagall's voice rang out through the great hall. Sirius glanced at the hat. A small boy with dark brown hair and a small face sat on the stool. Apparently, this was frank. He couldn't help but wonder why the boy was soaking wet, and shivering. Never did it occur to him that he might have fallen into the water that all the first years crossed. Then again, he was on a sugar high. And he wanted more sugar!!!

"I want some cookies," Sirius sighed loudly, catching the attention of all the professors, and most of the students. Professor McGonagall pursed her lips, Professor Slughorn frowned at the small child, and Headmaster Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, smiling at Sirius as though sharing a secret. All of a sudden, Sirius's eyes widened. He stared up at the Heads' table, and his jaw dropped. Sitting on the table in front of Dumbledore was a bowl of lemon drops. And what is it that lemon drops contain? SUGAR! Sirius started bouncing up and down on his feet, hoping someone would notice him and be considerate enough to donate a lemon drop to him. For this reason, Sirius was caught completely by surprise when his name was called.

"Sirius Black," called Mconagall's clear voice. Sirius spun around. "Who said that, how do you know my name?" he said in surprise. McGonagall narrowed her eyes at him. "Your name is on this list, Black. If I didn't know your name, you wouldn't be here at Hogwarts." Sirius ran towards the stool, and didn't stop in time. Young Sirius and the stool toppled over and landed at McGonagall's feet. She was glaring down at him. Sirius smiled hopefully. "Do you have any candy?" he asked. Professor McGonagall did not look too happy about the sorting being disrupted. She waved he wand, and the stool was standing again. Sirius Clambered onto it, and waited to have the hat placed on his head. Before he knew it, his eyes were covered by the rim of the hat and he heard a voice inside his head.

"Well, well, well, another Black, I see. I must ask, how is your dear mother doing? She was such a nice...Slytherin." The hat grunted. "I apologize, I shouldn't be prejudiced towards any of the houses." Sirius smiled inwardly. "That's alright, I don't like the Slytherins. My family members were all Slytherins." What do you know, Sirius was actually being serious! All of a sudden, another thought occurred to him. "Hey, Mr. Sorty, do you happen to have any cupcakes for me?" The hat was absolutely appalled. "Please do not ever call me 'Mr. Sorty'," the hat replied stiffly. "And why do you expect me to have cupcakes for you?" Sirius was put out. No cupcakes? "Well, I thought it would be a nice welcome present. Especially since I love sugar..." He trailed off. The hat snorted, if that's even possible. "Boy, you've had enough sugar to last you for all your years at Hogwarts. Now shut up so I can sort you! I don't want to delay the feast any longer!" Sirius grinned. "But that would be fun! I want to set a record for the longest sorting ever!" The hat grunted. "Too bad," it said. "I don't happen to want to do that, and seeing as I'm the one responsible for placing you, I can put you in any house I want, whenever I want, so too bad!"

Sirius whined. He was hoping to do something extrordinary at Hogwarts, even before his first lesson! The hat snorted. "Just by taking forever to sort won't make you extrordinary or popular. People will just think that you're just not the sharpest tack in the box!" Sirius jumped, and the hat fell off his head. He had forgotten that the hat could read ALL his thoughts, and accidentally jumped. McGonagall frowned and placed the hat on Sirius's head once again. "Have you been sorted yet?" McGonagall asked stiffly. Sirius grinned. "Nope, the sorting hat and I are trying to set a record for 'the Longest Sorting'!" The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables started cracking up, and the students at the Slytherin table merely smirked pityingly at him. McGonagall spoke up. "For some reason, Black, I have the strangest idea that the Sorting hat most likely has absolutely nothing to do with that record." Sirius put on a look of mock astonishment. "Well, I just can't imagine what would have given you that idea!"

Once the hat was back on his head, it roared, "SHUT UP!" Sirius mentally shrunk backwards. "Now," it said calmly. "I might inform you that I don't like being thrown on the floor so rudely. Now, I will sort you before you have time to interrupt me!" The hat paused dramatically..."GYRFFINDOR!"