A/N:: So I'm an absolutely and utterly shameless Sadreel shipper. There. I said it. Anyway, saw a post on tumblr about what if Gadreel managed to hear Sam's prayers because of the mutations done to his soul by drinking Azazel's blood, and Gadreel's Grace was damaged so that only he would be able to really hear Sam. When I started writing, it was suppose to be a shot.. and then it got away from me. So.. Yeah.
Disclaimer: I only play with the toys, I'll put 'em away when I'm done.
The first time Gadreel hears a prayer, his heart breaks, not so much because he cannot leave his cell to answer it, but because of the profound implications that come with the fact that he heard it at all. The fact that an seven year old child, soul already marred by the blood of a demon, is destined for a path nearly as twisted as his own is agony for the angel, and all he can think about is how this is his fault. His very essence aches for Sammy Winchester, so desperate to believe in the good in the world, though he's only really ever known the bad. He doesn't know that Mary Winchester was once certain that angels were watching over her boys. Doesn't know that she murmured it to her sleeping children almost every night before she died. If he did, he'd probably give a bitter little laugh, because he knows he's the only one that can hear Sam, and he's one of the only angels completely incapable of doing anything in the child's defense.
Sam quickly becomes Gadreel's solace, and sometimes he's sure that the call of the child's soul is the only thing keeping him from insanity. The boy prays for his father and brother almost daily, and even frequently asks the angel that cannot answer about the state of his mother, asks God to take care of her. His pleas for the safety of his living family increase though when he learns the truth of hunting. Two years after first hearing Sam's voice, and Gadreel's never heard the boy pray for himself. It's that relentless selflessness that makes him feel as if letting the Serpent into the Garden wasn't quite as inexcusable, if souls as resilient and caring still existed, managing to thrive despite circumstances.
He never tells Abner. He reasons with himself that it's pointless, because what could come from sharing the information? Neither of them could do anything about it, neither could comfort the boy when he was left alone in hotel rooms for days on end at twelve years old while Dean and John went hunting. But it's also that he thinks it would be wrong to share Sam's secrets, and he doesn't think he'd be able to share the human's existence without spilling it all. Surprisingly, the last excuse he considers is Thaddeus. Always listening, he's sure his tormenter would use the information as ammunition, though Gadreel doubted he'd actually hurt any of the Winchesters. He decides the Thaddeus excuse is the most reasonable, so that's the mantra he repeats in his head whenever he lies to his cell mate and only friend as to why his mangled Grace seems to lighten just a little bit for a few minutes almost every day.
"I am just recalling memories of better times brother" He replies when Abner asks yet again. He doesn't like to lie, but he doesn't want to tell the truth either.
He's learning that the more Sam prays and the more he listens, the more he's feeling the human. There are times when Sam just lets his mind wander, and Gadreel will hear the thoughts as if they were an orison. It's an interesting view of humanity, and he dares to hope that maybe he didn't quite ruin them with his mistake.
Gadreel gets more nervous than he'd rather admit to when Sam stops praying around his eighteenth year. He can't help the fear he feels for the boy - man now, he realizes with a jolt - when almost two weeks pass without him hearing anything. He knows Sam's been hunting, and for a horrible while, he wonders if the human's been killed. Though he still has Abner, and Sam is a relatively new sort of company, he can't help but feel like something's missing now, and it almost scares him how contingent he's become on the human. His fears ebb a couple days later when Sam prays again, asking a God who won't answer if he did the right thing leaving his family behind. Gadreel knows from the midnight, one-sided conversations that Sam wanted to go to college, desperately so, but knew his father wouldn't approve. He's not surprised that Sam left, he's actually a little bit proud that the human managed to go his own way, even if it does help to seal the inevitable future waiting for him.
Abruptly, John drops from Sam's prayers, though Dean remains a constant despite the fact that the brothers aren't speaking either. He wants to soothe the unrest he can feel in Sam's soul, bitterness at his father's rejection of him up on learning of his desire for a higher education. If anything, Gadreel relates - which is something he is entirely unused to. He's not used to understanding someone, even his brothers and sisters, the way he does Sam. The memory of his father's departure, his rejection of the children who loved him dearly, all came back in a blinding rush, things he'd tried to keep buried in his own mind, and all he wants to do is tell Sam that it's okay, that it's not his fault. He knows what he needed to hear, what was never said to him, and only wants to keep that crushing weight of guilt off Sam's chest. But there's nothing he can do, and he hates it.
Sam's prayers shift again, and begin to include others. Brady, Zach, and Jessica. They quickly become something of a surrogate family for the young Winchester, and the angel's something close to joyous as he feels Sam soul begin to lighten with every prayer. The boy is happy, almost blissful, in his new life, and it pains Gadreel to know that it won't last. It can't. He's known of Sam's position as the vessel of Lucifer since he first felt his soul, and if anything, Sam's rebellion against his father and brother only confirmed it. None of this knowledge exists for Sam though.
For now, Sam just prays for guidance, asking if proposing to Jessica is the right thing or not.
He's caught by surprise, when only hours after the last prayer, he receives another, asking if leaving with his brother to look for their father is the right thing.
So yep. There's that. As always, I hope you enjoyed, reviews, favorites, and the like are always more than welcome. ~TheFallenArchangel