Accompanied with Enrique Iglesias - Wish You Were Here (With Me)
Opening his eyes to the rising sun Horatio took a deep and shaky breath. Tugging at his sheets he clutched them to his chest. Grief choked his heart in a head lock. For the umpteenth time that week he'd dreamed of his young, beautiful wife.
They were at Casa Tua, just the two of them, toasting their expected pregnancy. Everything was perfect. The way it was meant to be. Then he woke, to find the place besides his void.
He loathed seeing the only other person who could occupy his bed missing.
Funny how the years,
they just pass us by
Seems like yesterday,
you were in my life
You always wanted
to started a family
But he had to get on with his life. There was no point in dwelling in misery when there were so many people that needed him. So, as much as he hurt every morning he forced his body off the bed and took another sharp intake.
"Marisol?" Horatio called out to the empty room. " It wasn't suppose to be this way, love. We were suppose to be happy" He bowed his head and let his pain over take his entire body. Shaking him to his core.
Lately he'd been seeing her everywhere, just to come to realize he was going crazy. Without her, he was confused. He had drunk from the devils chalice. When she was with him he'd been beyond happy. Closer to holding the family he always wanted in his arms. But then the world turned its ugly back on him, like it had done many times before. Snatching her from his tight embrace.
These days his only purpose was in dragging the scum down.
His leading motivator, hate in being welcomed each day in pain, suffering and destruction in every corner.
If someone, unable to protect themselves, were in danger he would strike their attacker down. Unafraid of killing them in the process. Unafraid of going to jail.
He had nothing to lose.
I was way too young
I was runnin' free
If only you could see me now
He knew if Marisol saw him today she wouldn't recognize him. He wasn't the same man. But he couldn't extinguish his burning anguish. Control had slipped through his fingers the moment she left him.
Now all he thought of when he arrived home were their stolen future. The laughter of children that would never bounce off the walls of his home.
"I need you, Marisol. Now more than ever." He said between heart tugging breaths. "There's so much people expect from me...I-I" Opening and closing his mouth frustrated, Horatio finally allowed his confession to pass his thin lips "I don't know what to do anymore. I-I'm...I'm lost, love, I'm mad. I'm angry at the world!" Grinding his teeth his crystal blues misted. "If you saw me now you'd realize I'm not the same man you fell in love with, Mari. I'm sorry." Cupping his face he chuckled into his palms. If he could cry for her instead of laugh he would, but he found he couldn't shed a single tear. As much as he wanted to he just couldn't. He'd become an empty shell of a man. "Oh, God I wish you were here with me, Marisol."
You died in me
I should have saved you
Ooooh...
Wish you were here with me
I thought I knew it all
how stupid could I be
I think of what I had
and it makes me weep
Horatio held his breath still, afraid if he allowed a single sigh to escape he'd do something stupid. As if he hadn't attempted to simply sleep away to be at her side. He once even thought of using his own gun against himself to leave his hell behind. But then he thought of her. Knowing she'd weep in seeing him devastated and dead inside because of her. He also knew she could never forgive herself nor would she forgive herself if he pulled the trigger, ending his life.
Before she came into his life he thought he knew everything, but he was damned guilty of the opposite. He knew nothing. Only the hate of everyday life. A habit he fell back into after her death.
How stupid could I have been? He thought.
From the very moment they met he knew he'd marry her. Understood she'd been sent to save him. To open his eyes to the world. To be the one to say there's so much more to life than death, love.
Yes, though she'd been sick she didn't allow her disease to claim her life. She had enjoyed herself to the fullest. In the process she taught him about life; the joys, the pleasure. The simple beauty of dreams and desires. Taught him how to laugh at his mistakes. At his faults. How to have fun. She had given herself so freely to him, body and spirit, and he cherished her for it. However, falling deeply mad in love with her left him with the searing agony of remembering her. But pain would not stop him from loving her, from thinking of her. He'd go on remembering till he took his last shallow breath.
You died in me,
I should have saved you
You gave yourself
Why did you give
yourself to me?
Thus he stood and faced his fate. Without the person who he loved more than life itself.
Ooh..Ooh...Ooh...
Wish you were
here with me...
I miss you...