IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: Hello everyone! I've been writing this on and off for about half a year now so I'm relieved to finally finish it! This is in the same storyline as the fantastic series, Anne of Green Gables. I have always loved the books, and I wanted to base a Glee fanfiction off of it. It takes place roughly in 1910, explaining why the characters talk a little odd :) Just so you know, this is a Brody-free fic, as I've never considered him a legitimate love interest for Rachel. Anyways, happy reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, or Anne of Green Gables.
Xxx
It's not easy being an orphan.
Then again, she's never really known anything else. Her parents died when she was just a little baby.
Scarlet fever. The nuns would answer when she asked about how they had died. You're lucky that you didn't die with them.
The only thing she has of her mother's is a small necklace with a simple heart locket on it. It has a grainy black and white portrait of her mother in it, and she thinks that this woman was the most beautiful woman in the world. She can see the similarities between them, the strong jawline, the dark hair and eyes, but Rachel thinks that her mom was much more beautiful.
She had spent thirteen long years at the orphanage, until one day she was notified that a family would be adopting her. Needless to say, she was more than happy to leave.
She's starting to get a little nervous, because she has been sitting on the hard bench outside of the train station for about an hour now. There were no signs of anyone there to pick her up.
Suddenly, a man with brown curly hair came hurrying up in his horse-drawn buggy. Rachel studied him closely, wondering if this was the man who was going to be her new guardian. He looked nice enough, she supposed, with his simple yet clean clothes. He also looked quite young, young enough to be having his own kids, not adopting orphans.
"Hello," he said kindly as he approached her. "Are you sent from the orphanage by any chance?"
She smiled brightly as she stood up, shaking his hand vigorously. "Yes, sir, that would be me! My name is Rachel Barbara Berry. I know Berry is an odd last name to have, but I really do like it. I like all sorts of fruits that have the word 'berry' in them. Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries… They're so delicious, wouldn't you agree?"
The man laughed as he led her to the buggy and helped her onto it before joining her. "I do agree. Back home, we have lots of fruit."
"Oh!" she responded excitedly. "Where is home?"
"A little outside Lima, Ohio. It's about ten minutes from here. When we get home, Emma has some supper waiting for you."
"That sounds great." Rachel said sincerely. "Is Emma your wife?"
"Yes, she is." He replied with a proud smile. "My name is William Shuester, by the way. You can just call me Will if you'd like."
"Alright, Will. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm thirteen years old. I don't really know when my birthday is exactly, but at the orphanage we always celebrated it on December 18. I love to sing and dance and have adventures. The nuns at the orphanage always said I talked too much but really I just have a lot of important opinions."
"Well, you certainly do talk a lot." Will chuckled. "You know, we have a neighbor girl who is the same age as you. Her name is Lucy Fabray, but everyone calls her Quinn."
"That's marvelous!" Rachel said with pure excitement starting to set in. "Oh, will I be able to attend school? I've always wanted to."
"Yes, there's a school in town that you'll be attending on Monday."
"Great! I'm sure I'll make lots of new friends there. Lima will be home in no time at all." She sighed as she looked at all the scenery surrounding them. "What beautiful trees! Pink is my favorite color."
They were silent for a moment as they pulled into town. It wasn't big, far from it actually, but Rachel instantly took a liking to it. There was something about it… Something big was going to happen to her in this town. She could feel it.
In what seemed like no time at all, they were pulling up to a small but lovely white house with light blue shutters on it. A small woman came rushing out, immediately helping Rachel down from the buggy. Her red hair was pulled back into a loose bun, and her wide eyes shone with excitement.
"Hello, my name is Emma Shuester." The woman said as she led her into the small house. "I sincerely hope you like it here."
"Oh, I do think I will." She replied enthusiastically. "My name is Rachel. I want to thank you for taking me in."
"Rachel, we're thrilled to have you here." Emma responded. "I think you will have no trouble blending in to our little family."
Xxx
She meets Lucy (Quinn the girl insists stubbornly) Fabray the next day.
Quinn is nice enough, she supposes, if not a little abrasive. She's very beautiful though, much more beautiful than Rachel thinks of herself. With her blond hair, sharp green eyes and soft spoken voice, she's sure that Quinn is the object of all the boy's affections and the envy of all the girls.
She likes Quinn, though, and when she tells her this Quinn just laughs freely and says that from that day on, they'll be best friends forever.
It's the first time Rachel has ever had a friend.
Xxx
The first day of school is exciting and terrifying all at once. There are so many people that she doesn't know, and to them she's just known as the orphan, the freak.
The teacher is a scary woman named Miss. Sylvester, and Quinn warns her not to ever talk back to her, or the consequences would be insurmountable. So Rachel sits quietly at her desk, never saying a word as she does her work even though she has so many thoughts that she needs to express and questions that she wants to ask. She's always been a very curious child, and it's the hardest thing in the world for her to keep her mouth shut.
"Hey, Tiny." A voice whispered behind her.
She turns around quickly, only to find a very handsome boy who looks to be a year or two older than her grinning at her. She tries not to be distracted by his expressive light brown eyes and his dimples that pop up when he smiles. He says nothing, just waves at her, so she scoffs and turns back around.
"Tiny."
Rachel studiously ignores him, because the last thing she needs is to get in trouble on her first day. She needs to make a good impression on everyone, especially on Will and Emma, or they might send her back.
She can't go back to that orphanage.
"Tiny."
"What do you want?" She exclaimed, a little bit too loudly as everyone turned around and looked at her, including Miss. Sylvester.
"Is there a reason you're interrupting my class, Miss. Berry?" The harsh looking woman asked her.
"No, Miss. Sylvester." Rachel replied as she stared downwards.
The boy just smirks at her as he returns back to his own work. "Who is that?" She murmured to Quinn.
"That's Finn Hudson. He's absolutely perfect, of course. He's a year older than us but he had to skip a year of school to go traveling with his family." Quinn whispered.
That is the first time she decides she hates Finn Hudson.
Xxx
Despite her continuing feud with Finn Hudson, she transitions into Lima life quite well. She's made lots of friends, and for the first time in her life she's happy. Will and Emma are the best guardians she could ever ask for, and Will has even been teaching her to play piano, which she absolutely loves. Singing has always been her passion, and Will shares in that.
So the weeks pass, and before she knows it, it's December 18, and she's turning fourteen. It's a school day, so that puts a little bit of a damper on things, but as soon as she sees Quinn, the girl gives her a big hug.
"Rachel! Happy birthday!" Quinn announced loudly.
"Quinn, really, it's not a big deal!" Rachel insisted. "I never really make a big deal out of my birthday."
"Oh, really?" She raises an eyebrow. "Apparently someone thought it was a big deal if they left a present on your desk for you!"
Rachel looks over curiously, surprised to see a simply wrapped parcel is indeed on her desk. She unwraps it carefully, revealing it to be a small, delicately carved wooden star with her name engraved on it. The detail on it is extraordinary, and she's sure that it took a while to make.
"Did you make this for me, Quinn?" She asked because, really, she can't think of anyone else who would make her something so beautiful.
"No, I didn't." Quinn replied. "Maybe you have an admirer!"
Rachel just rolls her eyes, because there is absolutely no chance of that ever being true, especially when there are girls like Quinn or Susan Pierce.
The mystery plagues her all through the school day. Who could have made something so wonderful for her? Maybe it was Noah Puckerman. But… he didn't seem to particularly like her very much. He was always rudely commenting about how much she talked. Maybe it could be Artie Abrams? But then again, he didn't like her much either. Come to think of it, no one really liked her very much, or showed anything more than indifference towards her.
The school day passes by quickly, and Ms. Sylvester even wishes her a happy birthday. The woman still harbored an unexplained resentment toward her students, but occasionally she'd show a soft spot, a weakness in her armor. Her surprisingly kind words lift Rachel's spirits considerably, and so far her fourteenth birthday is turning out wonderful.
As she's walking home with Quinn in the deep December snow, she hears a voice shouting her name.
"Rachel!"
She and Quinn turn around simultaneously to see Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman running toward them as quickly as they could. Finn had recently hit a huge growth spurt, making it easier for his long legs to carry him through the snow.
"Finn, Noah, what would you like?" Quinn asked in her sickly sweet tone.
"Oh, hey, Quinn." Finn stuttered as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Noah wants to walk you home."
"I do?" Noah repeated in a confused tone before enlightenment flashed across his face. "Oh, yes. Quinn, can I please walk you home?"
Quinn looked at her nervously. "Well, I can't just leave Rachel to walk alone…"
"I'll walk her home." Finn cut in quickly.
"Excuse me?" Rachel burst out. "Don't I get a say in this?"
Quinn quickly pulled Rachel away from the boys to whisper into her ear. "Rachel, I really want to walk home with Noah. Can't you do this one tiny favor for me?"
Rachel sighed, and although the last thing she wanted to do was walk home with Finn Hudson of all people, her loyalty to her friend won out. "Oh, alright."
"Thank you, Rachel!" Quinn squealed as she rushed back over to Noah, taking his arm. "Let's go!"
As soon as they were gone, Finn and Rachel were left in an awkward silence. Rachel bit her lip softly, not sure what to say. "Thank you, for walking me home."
"I wanted to." Finn said simply. "I—uh did you like your birthday present?"
Rachel stopped dead in her tracks. "That was you?"
Finn blushed profusely as he studied his boots like they were the most fascinating thing in the world. "I just wanted you to have something special for your first birthday in Lima, something one of a kind."
Her demeanor softens at his words, shocked that this boy who she'd absolutely hated within five minutes of knowing him would do something so nice for her. If she was being completely honest, she probably wouldn't have given the same consideration for him. Rachel Berry was many things, but mostly she was incredibly stubborn and hard-headed. But, maybe she had passed judgment too quickly on Finn. Maybe he wasn't what he seemed.
"Well…" she began as he looked up to meet her eyes. "Thank you, Finn. It's beautiful."
Finn grinned at her words as he began to walk again. "I thought maybe we could become friends."
She considered for a moment. "I suppose maybe we could."
"Good," Finn sighed in relief. "I'm fifteen, you know, almost sixteen. I don't want to have any feuds with little kids going on."
"Excuse me?" Rachel asked in disbelief. "I am not a little kid."
"I just mean, you're only fourteen—"
"I'm much older than my age, thank you very much. Growing up without any parents does that to you." Rachel spat out venomously, as she started to run away from him. "Consider any possible chance of friendship with me just to clear your conscience gone."
"Rachel—"
As she starts to run in her haste, she miscalculates her steps and ends up slipping on some black ice. Immediately, a horrible pain shoots up her ankle as she cries out and hits the ground. Tears stream down her face, not only because of the terrible fire that seemed to have taken refuge in her ankle, but the pure humiliation of falling in front of Finn when she was supposed to make a dramatic exit.
Finn hurries over to her, bending over to pick her up in his arms. She makes a sound of protest before another shot of pain fills her. She winces quietly, not wanting to show pain in front of Finn Hudson. "Put me down."
"Rachel, you may have broken your ankle. You shouldn't walk on it." Finn said as he began to walk, still cradling her in his arms.
"Put me down." She repeated sharply.
He did as he was told hesitantly, still supporting most of her body weight as her one foot touched the ground. "At least let me help you home."
She considered for a moment, on one hand it was absolutely humiliating, but on the other she really couldn't put any weight on her ankle and if she walked alone, it would take her hours, whereas with Finn it would take less than five minutes. "Oh, alright. This isn't charity, though. I would say no if I had the choice."
Finn rolls his eyes as they began to walk. "You're incredibly rude sometimes."
"Well, so are you." Rachel replied stiffly. "I'm far from being a little kid."
"I am sorry." Finn said sincerely. "I mean, obviously I knew you didn't have any parents and that was insensitive on my part."
"Well, you should be sorry."
"Look, Rachel, I'm trying to apologize. We're not going to get anywhere if you won't let me."
"Don't hold your breath." Rachel snapped as the Shuester house finally came into view. "You can leave now; I can make it from here."
"Be quiet, Tiny." He muttered as he picks her up again in his arms.
She gasps indignantly. "Finn Hudson—"
"Oh, I know, you're independent enough to walk yourself." Finn recited tonelessly. "I am going to make sure you get inside. I'm not going to leave you in the cold snow."
"Wouldn't want to have that on your conscience, leaving a little kid out in the snow." She seethes as they finally make it to the porch.
Emma came bustling out, the smile on her face turning to a puzzled frown when she saw Rachel in Finn's arms. "Hello, Finn."
Finn tightened his grip on her, not allowing her to get down. "Hello, Mrs. Shuester. I was walking Rachel home today when she fell and slipped on some ice. I'm not sure if her ankle was broken or not, so I figured it was best to keep the weight off of it, just in case."
"Oh!" Emma gasped. "Come inside, Finn. You can set her in bed."
Rachel was absolutely livid as they entered the house. Finn and Emma chatted about meaningless things as they climbed the steps to Rachel's room, and of course Emma was acting like Finn was some hero as she thanked him a million times. As they entered the room, Emma made some excuse to go back downstairs to go get some bandages.
Finn sat Rachel gently in bed, his eyes unreadable as he stared softly at her for a moment. Suddenly she felt terribly exposed, and her face felt like it was on fire. "Thank you, Finn, really and truly for everything."
Finn just nods. "I hope you know that I really am sorry. You're definitely not a little kid."
Rachel smiled brightly. "Great. I'm sure you can see yourself out."
He looked sad for a moment before indifference masked his face. "Right. Well, happy birthday, Rachel."
As he left the room, Rachel felt a wave of sadness and loneliness fill her for some odd reason. Although she did hate Finn Hudson very much, he had his moments where he was vulnerable and easy to get along with that she really liked. Unfortunately, her irritation with him seemed to outweigh any other possible feelings of affection that she may have for him.
She pulled the beautifully carved wooden star out of her pocket again, tracing the intricate design of her name. Stars were her absolute most favorite thing in the world, but she had never told anyone, not even Quinn about her fascination with them. Sometimes she would go outside when the weather was nice and just look at the endless stars that reigned over Lima. That's what was nice about living in the country…it was so much easier to see the beautiful stars.
"Rachel?" Emma asked as she came back into her room. "What's that in your hands?"
Rachel blushed a little bit, then kicked herself for doing so. Emma would be onto that in a minute. "Well, it's a birthday gift."
"From Quinn?"
"No…" She said hesitantly. "It's actually from Finn Hudson."
Emma looked at the star carefully. "It's very beautiful."
"I know."
"Finn must care about you a lot." Emma prodded, trying to get more information out of her.
"No." She said with finality. "Finn doesn't care about me and I don't care about him."
Xxx
Rachel really does love Quinn dearly as a friend, but sometimes the girl just rambles on about the most unimportant things when all she wants to do is read her book in silence.
"…So anyway, I was wondering if it would be okay if I went with Finn Hudson."
Her head snaps up from her reading. "What?"
"Rachel, were you not listening to anything I've been saying the past five minutes?" Quinn sighed exasperatedly. "The town dance is coming up, and since we're both almost sixteen now we need to seriously start considering marriage."
Rachel laughed loudly, causing some of the kids nearby to look at her as if she's deranged. "Oh, Quinn, I told you I'm never going to marry. It's degrading—"
"Yes, yes, I don't need to hear your feministic views again." She rolled her eyes. "The point is, we're both going to the town dance and I want to go with Finn Hudson. He'd make a lovely husband someday."
A pang of jealousy hits her hard and fast, although she's not sure why. Over the past year and a half, ever since their big argument on her birthday, she had been polite to Finn but mostly just tried to ignore his existence. He had offered her the same indifference, but sometimes he would show an extraordinary act of kindness to her that she wasn't quite sure she deserved.
But still, her mind wanders to what it would be like if she asked Finn to the dance. Maybe he wouldn't even say yes. Maybe he would.
"Rachel?"
She snapped out of her thoughts. "Sorry. Why would I mind if you went with Finn?"
Quinn seems taken aback for a moment. "The way you interact with him… Well I thought you might have some feelings toward him."
Rachel rolled her eyes playfully. "Please, Quinn. I will never be interested in Finn Hudson."
Xxx
The town dance rolls around quickly. Excitement fills the whole area, and all the talk in the school is who will take who. Rachel, herself, had agreed to go with Noah Puckerman who seemingly asked her out of the blue immediately after Finn accepted Quinn's invitation. She was surprised, to say the least. Her and Noah's interactions were very minimal, and most of the time they contained insults being traded between the two of them.
As soon as Rachel told Emma, the woman became so excited that it was hard to contain her. Immediately she was out looking for dresses for Rachel. To be honest, she was more excited about the dance than Rachel herself was.
She did, however, start to feel the excitement seeping into her veins on the night of the dance when she finally put on the dress that Emma had so tirelessly sought out. The dress itself was beautiful, of course, but for the first time in her life Rachel felt beautiful. The pure white stood out against her olive skin and the light pink on the edges of the dress complemented her dark brown eyes. Emma had even done her hair in curls so they hung loosely down her back. Will made her an absolutely gorgeous headband made out of the pink flowers from town, and the tears filled her eyes because he remembered.
The dance itself is actually quite dull. Noah isn't great company, and to be honest, neither is Rachel. Both of them keep watching the it couple, the picture perfect pair. Quinn looks beautiful, of course, in her light blue dress. She has on her mother's pearls and her socializing (fake) smile as she drags Finn around to talk to the different couples.
What she wasn't expecting was to notice how handsome Finn looks. After the awkward growth spurt, he was finally starting to grow into his height, and he looked more dignified and more adult than anyone else in the room.
It's almost as if he can sense her staring at him, because he turns his head to send a grin to her. She watches as he whispers something to Quinn, before making his way over to the bench that she and Noah are sitting on.
"Rachel," he breathed. "You look beautiful tonight."
She managed a genuine smile, although it's terribly awkward with Noah sitting beside her. "Thank you, Finn. You look handsome, yourself."
"Do you mind if I sit with the two of you? Quinn's been dragging me around all night." Finn complained lightly.
"I'm going to get some fresh air." Noah announced abruptly.
Rachel stared after him for a moment, perplexed at his sudden change of behavior before turning back to Finn. "So, Finn, are you having a great time tonight?"
"Not really," He admitted. "These kind of social events really aren't my favorite things in the world."
"I'll agree with you." Rachel murmured. "Don't let it go to your head, though."
"Imagine that." Finn surmised. "Rachel Berry actually agreed with me. I'll remember this day forever."
Unexpectedly, she laughed. "It's odd for me, too."
"I kind of like it." Finn said shyly. "Isn't this better than being at each other's throats constantly?"
"I suppose." Rachel replied thoughtfully. "I think it'll take some time to get used to."
"We have time."
"Finn, Rachel, may I ask what you're doing?"
Rachel stood up quickly. "Nothing, Quinn, I was just—going to get something to drink."
"I'll go with you, I'm pretty thirsty myself." Finn interjected.
Rachel sent him a dubious look. "Really, Finn, I think I can get a drink by myself."
"I'll go with you." He said with finality. "Quinn, you don't mind, do you?"
Quinn looked like she absolutely did mind, but before she could say anything; Finn took Rachel by the arm and led her through the crowd.
"What in the world are you doing?" She hissed. "Quinn is your date, and you were just completely rude to her!"
"I wasn't rude."
"Of yes you were."
"I know you're best friends with Quinn and all, but did you ever put into consideration that maybe I don't want to be here with her?" he asked with exasperation filling his voice.
She paused for a moment. "If you didn't want to go with Quinn, why did you accept her invitation?"
"Because I knew you'd never ask me." Finn said wryly.
Rachel exhaled quickly, obviously not expecting him to say that. "Finn, I think you should go back to Quinn. She's probably very upset."
He nodded quickly. "You're right. I guess I'll—I guess I'll see you around, Rachel Berry."
She watches him turn around and leave, sitting down beside a fuming Quinn. It's a little bit odd, because she's getting all these confusing thoughts about Finn and she doesn't exactly know how to deal with them. She doesn't want him to have romantic feelings toward her, because she's not ready to face her own. The thought of her and Finn, together, scares her.
"Don't tell me you're in love with him too."
Rachel glanced over at Noah. "What in the world are you talking about?"
"You don't think people can see the attraction between you and Finn?" He asked rhetorically. "Every girl in the town seems to be in love with him."
"Noah, one thing I can assure you of is that I have absolutely no feelings toward Finn Hudson, other than the possibility of friendship."
"You'll fall for him. All of them do." He said bitterly as he watched Finn and Quinn together.
"You're in love with Quinn." She stated bluntly.
"It doesn't really matter, now does it? We both lose."
Xxx
Quinn stops talking to her after the dance. It hurts Rachel more than anything; because Quinn was her first ever friend and now she was ignoring her because of a boy.
Rachel had tried talking to her, to tell her that Finn meant nothing to her and she never meant to hurt Quinn, but the girl had studiously avoided her and went to sit by Susan Pierce.
As Quinn's silence continued, so did Finn and Rachel's friendship. It probably wasn't the best idea to talk to him so much, but with Finn she didn't feel so alone anymore. He understood her, more than anyone else in her life. Even when she was having an awful day, he could always manage to make her feel better by telling her a joke or a funny story that he'd experienced.
She finally admits to herself on a sunny day in May, that Finn has become her best friend.
(Even when Quinn starts speaking to her a month later)
Xxx
She's sixteen when Will and Emma announce that they're going to be having a baby.
At first, she feels sick to her stomach and the room is shrinking and oh no they're going to send her back. Of course, it makes sense. People only adopt orphans when they can't have children of their own, and now there's no need for her to be here anymore. It's happened to her before, when she was six.
Will and Emma are looking at her worriedly, because really, Rachel Berry always has opinions. It takes her a few minutes to rearrange her frozen features into a forced smile, telling them that she's so happy for them and asks if she can go out to the nearby lake. They don't seem to really believe it, but they allow her to go out anyway.
The lake is her favorite place to go when she feels like the world is closing in on her. (Which, to be honest is quite often because she is a drama queen) It's peaceful, it's quiet, and it's beautiful.
She lets a few tears slip out because she loves Lima so much and all the friends she's made here, and now it could all be ending. Why would Will and Emma want her when they have a real child, a product of their love?
"Rachel?"
She brushed the tears from her face quickly. "Finn?"
He grinned, sitting down beside her. "I came to visit you and Will and Emma said you'd come out here. Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying."
"Oh, please." He said sarcastically. "I'm not that stupid. I can tell you've been crying, you might as well tell me why so I can make you feel better."
She scoffed quietly. "That's a little bit presumptuous of you."
"I'm waiting, Miss. Berry."
"Fine," She surrendered as she took a deep breath. "Will and Emma are going to have a baby."
"You think this is going to change everything." Finn said simply.
"No, I know it's going to change everything." Rachel replied. "They're—they're going to have their own child now and there's no place for me."
"Rachel," he knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his. "Will and Emma love you, like you were their own child. You didn't know them before you came to Lima, but I did. You make them so happy, and they would never abandon you. I know you aren't related by blood, but that doesn't matter. You're their child."
She considered for a moment before nodding resolutely. "You're absolutely right, Finn. I just have so many doubts and fears because I'm so happy here. "
"Well you can be happy here for a long time, because Will and Emma aren't sending you anywhere."
"Thank you." She said sincerely. "You've become a great friend to me, Finn Hudson."
Something shifts in Finn's eyes before he smiles genuinely. "As you have been to me, Rachel Berry."
Xxx
When the time comes for the baby to actually be born, Rachel has never been more terrified in her life. Emma looks like she's in excruciating pain, and Will looks like he is going to pass out at any moment. She has to run as fast as she can to get Dr. Hummel, Finn's stepfather, and then Finn decides to come as well, claiming she looked as white as a ghost and there was no use in her panicking when there was no need.
The hours pass by slowly, agonizingly, and even when night comes she can't bring herself to sleep. Finn occasionally tries to get her to eat something or sit down for a little bit, but mostly he just stays quiet, watching her pace back and forth from his place on the steps.
"Rachel," he sighed. "You need to calm down. Everything will be fine."
"You can't know that, Finn." Rachel shook her head as she continued pacing. "Mothers die in childbirth all the time, children die in childbirth. There are more chances of this becoming catastrophic than there is of everything turning out fine."
He grabs her arm, stopping her pacing and forcing her to sit down next to him. "Emma is strong. The baby will be strong. You're worrying for nothing."
"It's just-" Her breath shook as she took a deep breath. "Emma is my mom. I know I had a real mother who gave birth to me, but Emma is my mom. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to her—"
And then, out of nowhere, he plants a soft but firm kiss on her mouth. She should be freaking out because this is Finn, her best friend, and she shouldn't be having these kinds of feelings for him, but oddly enough, she feels completely calm. For a moment, just a brief moment, she imagines what it would be like to do this anytime she wanted with him. He's warm and he's caring and he's Finn, and she would break his heart somehow, someway if she ever pursued anything with him.
Just as she breaks away, a loud cry resounds through the house.
She immediately sprints up the stairs, opening the door to see an exhausted Emma holding a tiny little baby in her arms. Will is the ever-adoring father and husband, smiling and touching the baby's nose lightly. They make the picture-perfect family.
And she's a part of it.
"Rachel!" Emma whispered excitedly as to not wake the baby. "Come meet Tessa."
Emma gives her Tessa to hold, even though she's so tiny, and Rachel's breath completely leaves her as she stares at the little girl, her sister. She's going to be extremely beautiful, that's for certain. She has Will's curls, and Emma's coloring, and Will's dimples.
She's going to be the best sister to this little girl, no matter what.
Xxx
She realized a long time ago that time passes quickly in Lima. She's not really sure if it's because of the small size of it, or the people, but her teenage years pass in the blink of an eye. Before she knows it, she's graduating from school and she's tied for top marks with Finn and she's never been happier in her life.
On graduation day, there's a party in town as there always is and everyone is congratulating her and hugging her. In all honesty, though, she just wants to spend the perfect summer day with her best friends.
Things with Finn had been going better than she expected after he kissed her the night Tessa was born. Neither of them had brought up the incident, and continued to just ignore the fact that it ever happened. It was easier that way, at least in her opinion. Being anything more with Finn would just…complicate things unnecessarily.
"Rachel!" Quinn giggled as she came up to hug her. "You look beautiful!"
Rachel grinned happily. She did feel beautiful in her light green dress. "Thank you, Quinn. You do, as well."
"So how excited are you to finally be out of school?" she asked as she started to lead Rachel over to where Finn and Noah were standing.
"Well, I'm not sure that I'm done with school yet."
"You want to go to college?" Noah asked as the girls joined them.
"I do, too." Finn interjected. "I've actually been offered the teaching position here so I can get enough money for college."
"Finn," Rachel hugged him excitedly, lingering a bit. "That's amazing!"
"Thanks, Rachel." He murmured at he continued to hold her before they both backed away awkwardly, oblivious to Quinn and Noah's knowing smiles.
"Well, I have an announcement of my own." Quinn said proudly. "Noah and I are engaged to be married!"
Rachel completely froze. "You're getting married? You two?"
"Yes!" Quinn smiled genuinely, more genuinely than Rachel has ever seen. "Isn't it just fantastic?"
"Just..fantastic." Rachel replied half-heartedly. Her mind is moving at a hundred miles an hour because they're really grown up. There's no pretending anymore, no more schoolgirl fantasies. Quinn, her best friend is getting married. Soon she will be having babies and growing old happily with Noah while she remains bitter and alone.
Before she can say anything else, she feels Finn squeeze her hand reassuringly. "We're so happy for you both." He cut in sincerely.
His words snap her back to reality. "Yes! I can't wait to help you plan the wedding!"
She can practically hear the sigh of relief from Quinn and Noah. "Well, you will be my maid of honor, of course." Quinn said as she looked up at Noah adoringly. "We want to get married at the end of the summer."
Quinn prattles on, as she usually does, and Rachel just nods her head, smiling every so often.
Part of her, the part she hates, wished that maybe she could be the one getting married.
Xxx
Of course, Lima celebrates Quinn and Noah's engagement the best way it knows how-with a summer party.
The wedding is only days away, and it seemed like it was the topic of all discussions for everyone in town. Quinn had always been the town sweetheart, there was no denying that. Everyone wondered how she would wear her hair, or what her dress would look like, or if Rachel Berry was terribly jealous.
But the truth was, Rachel wasn't jealous. She was a bit nostalgic, a bit sad, but she could never wish ill on her best friend. Quinn was happier than Rachel had ever seen her, and although marriage wasn't something she would commit herself to just yet, seeing her friend happy made Rachel happy.
"Isn't this just so exciting?" Emma gushes as she looks around the beautiful setup. "I can't believe little Lucy Quinn Fabray is getting married! I remember when she was born. Oh my, that makes me feel old."
"Emma, you're far from being old." Rachel reprimands as she twirls as giggling Tessa around.
"Just think, it'll be your wedding soon." She surmised.
Rachel snickered quietly. "Oh, Emma, I can promise you that won't be happening anytime soon."
"It might be sooner than you think." Emma replied solemnly. "When I was your age, I never thought in a million years I would marry Will."
She glances involuntarily over to Finn, who seems to be laughing at something Marley Rose just said. A quick stab of jealousy fills her and she tries to push it back. Marley is about two years younger than her, only sixteen, but she had already caught the eyes of several men in town. Including, so it seemed, Finn. Her Finn.
"Excuse me, Emma. I'm feeling a bit light-headed so I'm going to take a little bit of a walk to clear my mind."
Before Emma could protest or question her further, Rachel hurries away, holding up her skirts so she wouldn't slip. The tears fall down her face without permission, and before long, she's running. Of course, her legs aren't exactly long so she can run particularly fast, especially with her heavy skirts. She stops and catches her breath as she nears the bridge which crosses over the creek.
When had her life become such a mess?
Probably when she had first met Finn Hudson.
When did everything become so complicated? She shouldn't be upset over seeing Finn just converse with another girl. He was not hers, and she had no claim on him. And yet, that made it hurt all the more. She had always brushed Finn's advances off, and it had never occurred to her that one day he would get tired of it and move on with someone more beautiful and nicer than she was.
"Rachel!"
She turns to see Finn sprinting toward her, "Finn? Why aren't you at the party?"
"I saw you leave." He said with a breathless grin. "A party isn't a party without Rachel Berry. Besides, you promised me a dance."
"Finn, I'm not really feeling well. I don't think I'll be going back to the party." She offered lamely. "You should go back, though. Have some fun."
Finn shakes his head. "No. We'll dance here."
"There's no music." She giggled despite herself as he pulls her into his arms.
"Then we'll make our own music." He starts to hum mindlessly.
Being in his arms, touching him is just too much. He stares down at her with an unreadable expression, and the atmosphere becomes decidedly more tense than it already was. Her hand fits in his perfectly, like it was made to be with his. She can see him glance down at her lips as he abruptly stops humming, ending the dancing too. Slowly, he leans toward her and presses his lips lightly on hers. She kisses back for a moment before she realizes what she's doing and breaks away with a gasp.
"No," She cries despite herself. "No, Finn. We can't do this."
"Why not?" He demanded. "When are you going to stop lying to yourself and admit you have feelings for me?"
"I don't." She whispered, partly trying to convince herself. "I don't have feelings for you, and you need to stop kissing me because it will ruin everything if we try to pursue any kind of relationship."
He stares at her defiantly. "I love you."
Her breath stops in her chest and her eyes widen. "What?"
"I love you." He repeats as he takes her hand back in his. "I've loved you since the first time I saw you, Tiny. When you're in the same room as me, all I can focus on is you. Even when I'm not with you, you're all I think about. Being just your friend is killing me. I want to be with you forever, if you'll have me."
More than anything, she wants to say yes, to give in to everything her heart wants. But above her heart, her head is screaming no. "Finn, you know I care about you-"
"Oh, come on, Rachel. You and I both know it's a lot more than that."
"But I don't know, Finn!" She exploded as she tears her hand away from his. "I can only speculate on those feelings. You deserve much more than that."
"I don't want anyone else-"
"Finn, I just-" She breathed heavily. "I can't deal with this right now. I need time."
As she leaves him standing alone in the clearing, she can almost feel her heart breaking in two.
Xxx
"Finn told me he loved me."
Quinn stops in her tracks, turning to stare at Rachel with wide eyes. "What?"
Rachel twisted her hands nervously in her lap. "He told me he was in love with me."
"Well it's about time." Quinn said with a laugh. "So you and Finn are an item now?"
"What?" She sputtered. "I-"
"Rachel," Quinn started slowly. "You did tell him you reciprocated his feelings, didn't you?"
"No." Rachel admitted. "I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I'm just so confused in my head..."
"Okay, listen to me." Quinn sighed as she sat down on her bed next to Rachel. "Before you came to town, Finn was different. He never really smiled, and he was just very drawn into himself all the time. His dad's death was really hard on him. But when he met you...Everything changed. He got that light back into his eyes again.
"I could see it all, even the things you couldn't see. When you were speaking, all of his attention would be on you. As we got older, I thought it would wear off, but it had the opposite effect. I even hated you a bit for it. I wanted him so much to play into this silly idealistic fantasy I had set up in my head, and you had him wrapped around your finger without even trying."
"Quinn.."
"It's alright." She nodded reassuringly. "Really, it was just a little crush, and I have Noah now and I'm marrying him tomorrow. He makes me so happy and I feel loved for the first time in my life."
"I'm happy for you, Quinn." Rachel tells her friend as she hugs her tight. "But how do you know for sure?"
"You don't." Quinn replied with a shrug. "Being in love and acting on that is taking the biggest risk in the world. I don't know for sure that Noah and I will have this perfect life together. I know there will be bad days where I'll want to give up, but I also know know there will be many good days where I'll thank God that He led me to Noah. And for me, that's enough."
Xxx
The day of Quinn's wedding is perfect.
Really, she should have expected it, because Quinn has always had all the luck. The sun shines brightly on the Fabray's backyard and the birds are chirping loudly as the guests start to arrive.
"Well, Quinn, are you ready?" Rachel asked quietly as she fixes the other girl's veil over her face.
"More than anything." Quinn replied serenely as she takes her father's arm. The music starts. "Rachel, that's your que."
She squeezes her hand one more time before she makes her journey down the aisle. Emma, Will, and Tessa smile at her as she passes them, her little sister squirming in her seat excitedly. At the end of the aisle, Noah is standing looking more nervous and anxious than she's ever seen him. Although Noah looks extremely handsome, she can't take her eyes off the man next to him.
Finn stares right back at her, his eyes never wavering. In that brief moment, she can almost imagine that it is her wedding and Finn is waiting for her at the end of the aisle. He smiles quickly at her, and she can't help but return it as she takes her place and turns to watch Quinn make her entrance.
Quinn and Noah's wedding is absolutely beautiful, and she's not ashamed to admit that a few tears fall. Of course, she still believes that the whole institution of marriage is absolutely ridiculous, but they make it seem almost worthwhile to her.
Before long, the reception is nearing its close and the happy couple are making their way to their new house on the outside of Lima. She watches her friends go with a smile before starting back to her own house. The night is clear and warm, although the faint chill of the coming autumn is in the air.
"Rachel."
She turns to see Finn has followed her once again. "Finn...What are you doing here?"
"Walking the lady home, of course." He smiled "So, that was a great wedding."
"It really was." Rachel agreed. "They both seem very happy."
"And what about you, Rachel? Are you happy?"
She looks up to him questionably. "I'm perfectly content."
"But, you're not. At least, not really." Finn said confidently. "You're forgetting that I know you better than anyone else."
"That's extremely presumptuous."
"It's true."
The silence surrounds them as they continue their brisk walk. "Finn, we need to... We need to talk."
Finn stops and turns toward her. "You're right."
The words are on the tip of her tongue. Let's try this. Let's try us. "I was thinking about last night-"
"No, wait. Let me say something first." He interrupted. "My behavior last night was.. not the best. I didn't mean to pressure you to reciprocate any feelings I thought I might have had."
That stops Rachel right in her tracks, the speech she had prepared in her head useless. "Feelings you thought you had?"
Finn just grins sheepishly. "I've done a lot of thinking over the past few days. It wasn't fair of me to try to force any kind of romantic feelings on you. You're my best friend, Rach. Our friendship is important to me."
Her breath is coming in short gasps now. "It is to me, too."
"I know. I promise you, that momentary madness is behind us now. You can get married-"
"I'm never going to get married."
Finn looks at her softly. "You will. Just- don't forget about me, okay? I heard you're going to New York next week."
"I am." She takes a deep breath to calm herself. "I need to experience the world."
"Rachel Berry, always the adventurer." He laughed. "I'll-I'll let you go inside now. I guess I'll see you when I see you."
He turns to go, and she can't help but call out. "Finn!"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry if I broke your heart."
He just shrugs. "Every time you break it, you manage to heal it back together somehow. You're kind of extraordinary that way."
The realization hits her like a freight train.
It's the first time she admits (to herself) that she's hopelessly in love with Finn Hudson, and she just let him slip away.
Xxx
New York is so different than Lima. It literally took her breath away, as her train pulled into the station. Everything was so vast and crowded and big.
She had immediately began teaching at a small all-girls private school, enjoying every minute of it. Although it wasn't necessarily part of the ciriculum, she tried to teach the girls some music, which had always been her one true love.
One girl in particular, named Ella St. James, seemed to be very gifted in music. Ella would watch in awe as Rachel sang and always joined in with great enthusiasm. Although Rachel had promised herself she would never pick favorites, she couldn't help but develop a soft spot for the shy little girl.
"Excuse me?"
Rachel looked up from her planning on her desk to see a handsome man, not much older than her, walk into the empty classroom. His blue eyes shined excitedly as he gave her a friendly smile. "You're the famous Miss. Berry, correct?"
Her brow furrowed in confusion as she laughed. "Well, I'm not sure about that.."
"Trust me, in our home, you are." The man said as he pulled a chair in front of her. "Ella talks about you relentlessly. You've turned into quite the role model for my little girl."
"You're Ella's father!" Rachel stood up as she shook his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. St. James."
"Call me Jesse." He smiled. "I'm not too much older than you, after all."
"Alright, Jesse." She said as she sat back down. "Is there any reason behind your visit? Ella is doing excellent in all her classes-"
"I actually just wanted to come and thank you." He interrupted. "Since you have been teaching Ella, she's really started to come out of her shell."
"It's no problem, Ella is a fantastic girl. You and your wife are raising her well"
"Thank you." Jesse paused. "Although it's just me raising her. Ella's mom died when she was born."
"I'm so-so sorry." Rachel stuttered. "I had no idea-"
"You couldn't have, it's alright." He smiled reassuringly again. "It's quite stuffy in this little room. Would you like to go for a walk?"
She hesitates for a moment, thinking of the implications behind his statement, and the repercussions if she agreed and everything went horribly wrong.
On the other hand, she wanted to have some fun for once, to laugh and to smile like she once had.
"Absolutely. Let's go."
Xxx
Being with Jesse is easy. He is charming, kind, and makes her laugh more than she has in a long time. She had once thought that after she left Lima, the hole that she felt made by her own stupidity could never be filled again. Jesse had never tried to force her feelings toward him, or try to make her feel anything she wasn't ready for.
When he had officially began courting her, she almost couldn't believe someone this handsome and just all-around lovely man would ever be interested in her.
Ella, of course, couldn't be happier about the turn of events. Rachel spent almost everyday with her, teaching her simple lady things like braiding her hair and giving the little girl her favorite books that she had always loved.
In a way, they were becoming almost like a little make-shift family. The thought, of course, scared her out of her mind, but she also felt a sense of calm whenever they were together, like this was where she belonged.
Every once in a while, though, her mind would wander to a pair of cinnamon colored eyes, and the hole in her chest would feel torn open again.
Xxx
Rachel finished reading the letter from Quinn just as Jesse walked into the room, two glasses of lemonade in his hand. "Jesse! Oh I just received the most wonderful news."
"What's that?"
"My good friend, Quinn Fabray-well Quinn Puckerman now, is going to have a baby very soon!" Rachel smiled excitedly. "She wants me to visit Ohio when the baby comes in a few weeks."
"That's great, Rachel." Jesse replied genuinely. "She must be getting very excited."
"I can't even imagine. It's so odd to think of her as a mother." Rachel sighed as she put the letter away. "It seems like just yesterday we were children ourselves."
"You get used to it." He shrugged. "I can't imagine my life without Ella."
"She's very lovely." Rachel agreed. "I have some new books for her to read-"
"Rachel," Jesse interrupted softly. "There's someone else that I can't live without."
"Jesse, you're going to make me blush." She said with a laugh.
Jesse took her hands in his. "I'm serious, Rachel. I- After Ella's mother died, I never thought I could ever be the same again. But you, you brought love and joy and laughter back into this house. Your music fills my heart and touches me in a way I have never felt before. I want to have you forever."
His hand pulls out a diamond ring, shining beautifully in the light. This moment is everything she had ever imagined it to be. She tries to open her mouth to say yes, but suddenly it feels like she's mute.
"I know. I promise you, that momentary madness is behind us now. You can get married-"
"I'm never going to get married."
Finn looks at her softly. "You will."
Being with Jesse would be easy. But is that what she really wanted for the rest of her life?
"Jesse- I can't." She whispered as the tears started to pour down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry."
He looked as if she had slapped him in the face. "I thought the feelings I had were mutual."
"I do care for you, Jesse-"
"Then marry me!" He repeated with a flourish. "We can be happy, Rachel. I can give you everything you want."
"I can't give you my heart when it belongs to someone else." She said weakly. "When I lived in Ohio, I fell in love with a boy, and if I'm being completely honest with you, I think I'm going to love him for the rest of my life."
"You can move past him-"
Rachel took a shaky breath. "I can try, but I never will. And you deserve better than that. You deserve a woman who will love you and Ella with all her heart."
Jesse just looked at her sadly for a moment. "I guess you can't force someone to love you."
"No, you can't." She touched his face lightly. "You will find the right woman, Jesse. I promise you. But in the mean time, I am so sorry."
He nodded quickly. "I have the feeling when you go back to Ohio… you're going back for good."
"I think so." She affirmed. "If it's alright with you… I would really like to speak to Ella."
Xxx
"Ella?"
The little girl looks up, and her entire face brightens. "Miss. Rachel!"
"Hi." She whispered, trying not to break. "We need to talk, sweetie."
"What's the matter?" Ella asked as she looked up innocently.
"You know I care for you and your father both very much, but I'm going back to Ohio." Rachel said slowly. "We won't be able to see each other often anymore."
Tears well up in her eyes, and Rachel can feel her heart breaking. "I know it's sad, but we can write to each other all the time, and if your daddy says it's alright, you can come and visit me at my house. You can meet all my friends I told you about, and Quinn's new baby."
Ella jumps into her arms, hugging her as tightly as a six year old can muster. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too, Ella."
Xxx
Rachel trudges up the steps to her childhood home tiredly, feeling as though she had been through a war. It was good to be home, of course, but all she really wanted to do right now was stay in her room and cry for all the hurt she had inadvertently caused so many people.
"Rachel?" Emma gasped as she walked through the door. "Will! Rachel's home!"
She is immediately swarmed with hugs and kisses by her family. When she was in New York, she hadn't really thought about how much she missed them and how much better it was when she was with them.
Home.
"So, Rachel. Tell me what's new in your life?" Emma asked once Will had gone back out to cut wood.
"I suppose nothing is really new." Rachel said hesitantly, biting her lip.
"I know that look." Emma raised an eyebrow. "You're not telling me something."
"I guess a mother always knows." She laughs. "My life is a mess, Emma."
She ended up telling Emma everything- her struggle to reciprocate Finn's feelings before realizing she really did love him, her brief romance with Jesse and not being able to live a lie, and most importantly how in an effort to not fall in love she had managed to break so many hearts, including her own.
"Oh, Rachel." Emma sighed. "You never do things halfway, do you?"
Rachel laughed brokenly. "I've made so many mistakes."
"You're young. It's in your nature. Let me tell you one thing though. Never in my life have I seen someone look at you with so much love and certainty as Finn looks at you. That boy has been hopelessly in love with you for years." Emma said quietly. "If you love him, and he loves you, I couldn't imagine anyone better for you. You complete each other."
"I know he used to feel that way." She bit her lip. "But I-I broke him, Emma. I'm not so sure I can be easily forgiven."
"I'm not so sure about that." Emma replied sagaciously. "In normal situations, maybe not. But what you and Finn have goes beyond all rational explanation, all common sense. It's love."
Rachel got up abruptly. "I need to go see him."
Xxx
She knocks on Finn's door shyly, hoping that he's around. If he wasn't, this whole exercise would be terribly embarrassing. She wasn't even sure how she had gotten enough courage to come this far.
"Rachel?"
She turns to see Finn standing there with a shocked expression. Her eyes take all of him in quickly. He had lost some of his lingering childhood baby fat and was now much more defined and chiseled. His eyes were still the same though, although they looked a little bit tired. "I'm back!"
He scoops her up in a huge hug as he buries his face in her hair. "Rachel."
She laughs quietly as she hugs him tighter. "It's really me, Finn."
"You're back for good?"
She nodded. "New York was great, and I'd love to go back there someday, but Lima is home."
He releases her but still keeps a hold of her hands. "Let's walk and you can tell me all about New York."
They walk in silence for a moment before Rachel speaks up. "It really was extraordinary, Finn. You'll have to visit sometime."
"Maybe someday." His eyes glitter with amusement just as she always remembered them. "So you were teaching there?"
"Yes. I was at an all-girls school. It was an amazing experience."
"They were't too rough for you to handle?" Finn joked.
"Please." She scoffed. "On a more serious note, I will miss them. They were a great class."
"I'm sure they were. But why did you decide to come back?" He looks genuinely curious as he stops to gaze down at her.
She ponders for a moment. "There are some things in Lima that I couldn't say goodbye to."
He looks thrown for a moment. "Rachel…"
"Finn!"
Both of them turn toward the voice behind them on the road. Rachel was shocked to see Marley Rose hurrying toward them, her ever present smile on her face. She still managed to look beautiful, and Rachel couldn't help but feel a little animosity toward the girl.
"Marley…" Finn stuttered as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I thought you were helping out your mother today."
"She let me go early so I could come and see you! Isn't that great?" Marley enthused, before finally acknowledging Rachel's presence. "Oh! I'm so incredibly rude. How are you Rachel? I thought you were in New York!"
Rachel managed to force a smile. "I was actually thinking of coming home to stay, but maybe I'll go somewhere new."
"I wish I could do that." Marley said with a sigh. She turned toward Finn. "Maybe we could go somewhere like New York for our honeymoon!"
Her eyes widened and she flinched back as if she had been burned. "You-you two are engaged."
Finn remained silent as he stared at her with an unreadable expression. Marley spoke up eagerly. "Yes! I am so unbelievably excited. My mother says I have to wait a bit until I'm eighteen, but that's only a few months away."
She needed to get out of there right now before she made a complete fool of herself. "Well, you have my congratulations." The smile on her face felt like it was about to break. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get going. Emma is expecting me home."
She walked as quickly as she could, lost in her own thoughts. Finn was engaged. Finn had moved on.
"Rachel, wait!"
She turned to see Finn rushing up to her alone. "Finn, I really need to get home-"
"I know. I just-something you said before bothered me. You said that you were thinking about leaving again." Finn started. "Before- you said you were home for good because there were some things you couldn't say goodbye to."
Rachel paused for a moment, studying his face. His eyes were still bright with remaining hope, but also a pure expression of pain. She had caused him that pain. "Well, maybe it's time to say goodbye anyway."
Before she turned to leave, she lightly pressed a soft kiss on his cheek and whispered. "I will always love you, Finn Hudson."
It took all the strength she had to walk away.
Xxx
"This is Beth."
Rachel coos in adoration as Quinn presents her new baby girl to her. She had come over immediately as soon as she had heard that Quinn had given birth to a little girl. "Quinn, she is so beautiful."
"I think she looks exactly like Noah." Quinn remarked as she stroked the baby's cheek.
"She'll be a heartbreaker, that's for sure." Emma laughed as she held Tessa on her own lap.
"Oh, we don't need another Rachel Berry in town." Quinn said with a wink. "You never did tell me the whole story, Rachel. If you had feelings for Finn, why didn't you just tell him?"
Rachel rolled her eyes as she rocked Beth back and forth. "I couldn't do that to him. Or Marley, for that matter. I didn't want him to have to choose."
"He would've chosen you in a heartbeat, you know that."
She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I don't know that. You never know anything for certain."
"Rachel," Emma interjected. "I've told you once before and I'll tell you again. I think the one thing everyone is certain of is Finn's love for you. It's as if God himself wants the two of you together."
"If God, or the universe, or whatever higher power there is really wanted us together, we would be together right now." Rachel sighed. "It's alright, really. He'll marry Marley. I-I don't think I can bear to attend though."
"And what about this Jesse fellow?" Quinn asked.
"Jesse was fantastic." Rachel said quietly. "I cared for him greatly. But at the end of the day, I knew that I couldn't marry him. It wouldn't be right for anyone."
Quinn nodded. "Enough about boys. Where are you off to next?"
"I'm not sure. I think I'll stay in Lima until the end of summer and then maybe go to Paris."
"Paris!" Quinn sighed dramatically. "How I wish my world was as big as yours, Rachel Berry."
Rachel smiled sadly. "Sometimes a big world is a lonely world."
Noah entered the room then, crossing to give his wife a kiss. "Good afternoon, darling."
"Noah," Quinn giggled. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going fishing with Finn."
Noah's entire demeanor suddenly changed. "Something has happened."
The room was silent before Emma spoke up. "What happened, Noah?"
"I went to his house only to be received by his mother. According to her, Finn has come down with a terrible case of scarlet fever."
"No." Rachel gasped as she stood up, shaking. "No. I just saw him last week! He was perfectly fine!"
Emma and Quinn both got up on either side of her. "Rachel," Emma soothed quietly. "You know how quickly scarlet fever can materialize."
"Noah," Rachel turned to him desperately. "Did his mother say how he was doing?"
Noah paused solemnly. "She said he most likely won't make it through the night."
And that was the only words Rachel needed to hear before bolting out of the room.
Xxx
She knocked on Finn's door impatiently, praying that someone would answer her. The last time she was here, her heart was pounding just as hard as it was right now.
The door opened, revealing Finn's mother, Carole Hummel. "Rachel?"
"Mrs. Hummel." Rachel whispered as she tried to keep her tears at bay. "I-I heard that Finn was sick, and I need to see him. Please."
The older woman nodded. "Come on in, Rachel."
Rachel sprinted up the steps, until she found Finn laying in one of the bedrooms. He didn't appear to be conscious, and looked absolutely awful. Her breath hitched as she pulled a chair up beside him. She softly caressed her sweating forehead with a shaking hand, trying to get his hair out of his eyes.
"Please, Finn." She whispered. "You need to get better." He remained unresponsive. She sighed as she took one of his hands in her own. "I guess you can't hear me. Or maybe you can. I just- I need you to know what an idiot I was. I should've married you last year when you told me you loved me. I think that- if I had gotten to marry you I would have been the happiest woman in the world. Too bad I couldn't see that."
She took a deep breath. "It's always been you and me, hasn't it? You told me once that you loved me since you first saw me, and I think I was too blind to see that the exact same thing had happened to me. You stole my heart the moment you got me in trouble with Ms. Sylvester." She laughed quietly. "I spent all these years denying what everyone else could see, and as soon as I finally uncovered my eyes, it was too late."
"But I won't begrudge you any happiness, Finn. If Marley makes you happy, then I want you to marry her. She'll make a lovely wife. Just know that I love you, more than you'll ever know." Rachel sighed as she kissed his forehead.
His eyes slowly opened. "Rachel?"
"Finn!" She exclaimed quietly. "Oh, Finn."
"It's really you this time? I thought I was dreaming again." He whispered.
"No, Finn. I'm here."
"Rachel-Rachel I need to tell you something."
"Finn, you should save your strength-"
"No." Finn said absolutely. "You need to know that- there isn't going to be a wedding."
"Finn," Rachel interrupted. "Don't talk like that. You're going to get well, and you're going to get married to Marley."
"There isn't going to be a wedding," he repeated slowly. "Because I told Marley so last week after I saw you again. I can pretend all I want to love someone else, but in the end, my heart is always going to be yours."
A few tears slip down her cheek. "I love you, Finn. I'm sorry I got a little lost along the way."
"Well, you wouldn't be Rachel Berry if it wasn't dramatic." Finn smiled softly. "Rachel-I can feel myself slipping. Will you-will you sing to me?"
"Of course." She whispered.
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Let me hear you whisper that you love me too
Keep that love light shining
In your eyes, so true
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Xxx
"Rachel."
"Let her sleep, she's been awake with Finn half the night."
"She would want to know the news."
"Let her sleep."
Xxx
Rachel awoke the next morning to find the house absolutely silent. She was disoriented for a moment, not recognizing where she was until she realized she was in Finn's house and all the events from last night came rushing back to her.
She slowly ascended the steps, dreading what she might find in Finn's room. She imagined the whole family, brokenly crying over their son who hadn't made it through the night. Carole, telling her that he had passed on. Burt telling her there was nothing they could do. But worst of all, Finn lying cold and motionless on the bed, never to breath again.
Instead, she saw Finn himself sitting up in bed, a huge smile on his face. "Rachel."
Her eyes widened as she ran over toward him and launched herself in his arms. "Finn!"
"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." He murmured as he rubbed her back. "You can't get rid of me that easy."
"Finn," She sobbed. "I thought I was going to lose you forever."
"You know I could never leave you." He whispered. "I-I could feel myself slipping. But then, then you sang to me, and it pulled me back."
She shakes her head wordlessly as she sits on the bed next to him. "I love you, Finn."
"I love you too, Rachel Barbra Berry." He said softly as he shifted to get something out of his bedside table. "This is the ring my father gave to my mother. I could never picture it on anybody's hand-except yours."
She gasped as her eyes took in the beautiful, yet simple diamond ring. "Finn."
"Rachel," He asked, his voice shaking. "Will you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?"
Rachel looks into his eyes tearfully. "Yes! Yes, I will marry you!"
As he slipped the ring onto her finger, it felt like coming home.
Xxx
The day of her wedding is perfect, although she has never had all the luck.
Her dress is long and white with delicate lace covering it and the flowers above her make a canopy down the aisle. All her friends and family smile at her, and she feels like the happiest girl in the world.
What really makes it perfect, though, is the man waiting at the end of the aisle. He looks handsome as always, and his eyes light up when they see her, just as they always have, even when she was only thirteen years old. Will walks her down the aisle proudly, and joins their hands together. He cries a little, seeing the same little girl he adopted almost ten years ago.
"We are gathered here today, to witness the holy matrimony of Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry." Quinn's father begins. "Rachel and Finn have both chosen to write their own vows. Rachel?"
Rachel takes a deep breath as she begins. "Finn, when I first met you, I was thirteen years old. I was a new girl in a new environment, and to welcome me to town, you got me in trouble in class." The people laugh lightly. "But, over the years, both you and I have grown from enemies, to best friends, to soul mates. I know that I'm going to love you for the rest of my life, more than I am certain of anything in my life. You make me feel alive, and I can't even imagine my life without you. And as we begin our new journey as husband and wife, I know that you will make me the happiest woman alive."
Finn smiles at her as he begins his own vows. "Before you, I was walking through life in a haze, not really understanding what exactly what I was looking for in life, or what my purpose was. But then, a tiny little girl who had such passion and love for everything walked into my life. You opened my eyes to see what I've never been able to see, and made me live again. Our journey hasn't always been easy, but it has been worthwhile. Now, I get to call you my wife everyday for the rest of our lives, and I can love and cherish and protect you like you deserve. I love you, Tiny, more than anyone else has ever loved anyone."
The minister announces them husband and wife, and they share their first kiss under the canopy of lilies. It's soft and full of love, and Rachel has to try to convince herself that this all isn't just a wonderful dream.
"I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Finn Hudson!"
Xxx
Long after all the guests leave, Finn and Rachel walk hand and hand toward the new house that they would be sharing. As they reached the door, Finn abruptly swept Rachel up into his arms, before crossing the threshold. Her heart is hammering in her chest as they slowly make their way to their new bedroom, neither saying a word. He sets her down softly on the bed, and although it is dark she can still see his eyes as he hovers over her, filled with adoration.
"I love you." He whispered as he kisses her neck. "Mrs. Hudson."
"I love you too." She murmured, in complete bliss. "Let me show you how much I love you."
Needless to say, neither of them got much sleep that night.
Xxx
5 years later
"Mama!"
Rachel laughed as she picked up the reaching two year old from the ground. "Hello, Lucy!"
"Mama," Lucy said again. "When are we going to have food?"
Rachel turned toward Finn. "Honestly, she's just like you, always wondering when the next meal is."
Finn laughed, tickling Lucy's belly. "You're just daddy's little girl, aren't you?"
Rachel leaned in to kiss Finn softly. She could feel him smiling, reaching down to caress her 7 month pregnant belly. "Baby Hudson is hungry too."
"Aunt Rachel!" Beth Puckerman came in squealing. "Chris put mud in my hair!"
"Oh dear," Rachel murmured. "There's another one who takes after his father."
Four year old Christopher Hudson stuck his chin up defiantly. "Well she started it."
"Christopher," Rachel said warningly. "Apologize to Beth."
Quinn and Noah entered the room with their baby, Annie. "Looks like another little feud starting up." Quinn pondered, smiling. "Maybe they'll be the next to get married."
Rachel just shook her head, grinning. "I don't know about that, Quinn."
"We really did all get lucky, didn't we?" Finn asked, brushing Rachel's hair out of her eyes. "All four of us found the loves of our lives, and we both have great families."
"We really did." Rachel agreed. "And now we have forever."
Life may never be perfect, but where she was right now was close enough.