The Difference between Friends and Best Friends
By: PaintedDragon
A/N: I came up with this wild idea when I saw a quote on The Werewolf Registry. It said "Friends are the people who will bail you out of jail. Best Friends are the ones sitting next to you in the cell saying "Damn that was fun!" thus this plot bunny attacked me. For those of you who are fans of With Darkness…Light don't worry. I have chapter 8 done and chapter 9 in planning process, but unfortunately, my computer deleted all my files. This may mean we may have to re-write. Let's hope not
Disclaimer: All HP materials belong to JK Rowling.
Today was the day that held so much glory for Sirius Black and James Potter. Their seventh term was quickly coming to a close at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. All year, James and Sirius had been quite good, unusually good in the opinion of their professors. Whenever a prank was pulled, seventh year Arthur Weasely and his twin brother Andrew were behind it. But that didn't stop James and Sirius from being the number one suspects whenever something unusual went down.
But this story isn't about what Arthur and Andrew did. Oh no, this is about Sirius and James and the Prank of All Pranks (to quote James). And you, dear readers, are in luck, for I, Remus J. Lupin, will be telling you about the day that went down in Hogwarts history. The day James H. Potter and Sirius T. Black got revenge on two professors, a caretaker, and several of our colleagues.
As I have mentioned before, James and Sirius had been unusually good throughout the duration of our seventh year. In fact, the Weaselys started to give them a run for their money. Well, maybe not. You see, Seventh year, I rarely joined in on the merry-making and prank-pulling because I was studying like mad for my N.E.W.T.s, something I had been preparing for since the end of my fourth year. Anyway, before I go on a tangent (as I normally do), I was studying day and night, endlessly. And it seemed as if James and Sirius had done so as well, for we all met up in the library (our customary meeting spot, for we were all in different houses), in our little corner to study. In the beginning of the term, it was just us three. Peter, being one year younger than the rest of us, was often spotted tagging behind Lucius Malfoy and his Evil Allies. We didn't realize it then, but Peter was slowly pulling away from us.
Anyway, Sirius, James, and I sat in our corner studying many important things (such as if we all bunk at James' place, how much would we all have to chip in for the keg of Hag Beer for parties, or how often we could bring ladies over to impress them for a good one-night stand). But sometime after the first full moon of the school year, Arthur and Alex slowly started to show up. They would show papers to James and he would tell them yes or no, then the next thing you knew, Dung bombs were being set off in Divination, or No-Heat Fireworks were suspiciously being set off by the teachers table during the Halloween Banquet. And each time some sort of prank was pulled, James and Sirius had valid alibis but a small calling card of the Marauders was always there. If anyone had a clue, they would know James and Sirius were behind everything.
So now you all are wondering, 'If you were so busy studying how would you know whether or not James and Sirius were behind everything?' Well, I am a Marauder, and what kind of Marauder would I be if I didn't pull a few good pranks, right? James and Sirius planned everything, but Arthur and Alex were ploys. Whenever serious intelligence was needed, the boys came to me. James and his best friend figured that if they stayed good all year, they could pull the big prank of the year and get off Scot-Free. Of course, things never work out that way, especially when discipline came into play. Add in the fact that Lily Evans, Head Girl and Discipline case extraordinaire, just spent the past seven years trying to get us caught and disciplined for not being anything like her, and Lucius and Company 'stole' our friend, well, my friend, you have a recipe for danger.
*
It was late April of 1974 when Sirius brought up the plan of the big seventh year prank. We had been tossing around ideas for months now, but none were good enough. According to Sirius, this prank had to get back at everyone that we hated, which, in his case, was everyone. It was decided that it would take place on the night of the Hogsmede Ball. The Hog Ball (as James so lovingly called it) was for sixth and seventh years, and it was a banquet and ball smushed together. And we also decided we wanted it to involve jell-o, alcohol, and hogs. But this time, Sirius had a pretty damn good idea.
"Well old chaps, I do believe that I have a smashing idea for-
Remus' quill was yanked out of his hand by a very perturbed Sirius Black.
"Remus, If you are going to recount our best prank yet, you need to make it realistic! I never talk like that! 'Specially when I gets an ideaer or two," the Scotsman said, puffing out his chest.
"But this is a formal document. Slang should not be used," Remus tried to reason with his friend but the Scotsman head nothing of it.
"I don't bloody care! If you want to sound like a wanker, go ahead! But me mum's heart would break if she ever knew that she raised me to be a Nancy-boy!" Again, Sirius tired hard to look dignified.
"But your mum did raise a Nancy-boy!" sniggered James, looking up from his Quidditch magazine. A Black family heirloom sailed across the room, narrowly missing James' head before hitting the wall behind him and shattering into tiny pieces.
"Bugger! Me mum's going to have my hide for that one," Sirius muttered darkly. Remus sighed and offered the chair he was sitting in to Sirius.
"Fine, you finish the story and I'll fix the thingiemabobber," Remus grumbled as he started crawling around the floor looking for smashed parts. Sirius gave a grin of satisfaction and went to work.
As my dear friend was telling you, I had a wonderful Idea.
"So, guys about this prank. I've decided to start a riot in the pub, right, while prongs goes and herds the hogs from the outskirts of the city to the pub. That should cause a good amount of chaos. Then, we run out side and smear oil around the entire road so there will be no friction when people try to escape. Plus, we are going to spike the punch so nobody has any coordination. We're talking dress robes ruined, hair matted, the works. Someone should stay back and make sure the hogs follow the group of running drunks. The hogs will chase everyone down the street and into a big green Jell-o block." I beamed at my colleagues.
"That sounds difficult, Sirius," Remus panicked.
"That's why we have you, Moony," I coaxed.
"What about that wet prat, lily Evans?" James whispered. Lily was a thorn in James' side. Just because she was head girl, she thought she had a right to catch us breaking rules!
"That Ravenclaw tart, Narcissia deveraux will take care of her," I smiled at my own genius.
"What about the teachers?" James started to look more worried.
"They'll be pissed. I made sure of that," I smiled evilly.
"How did you manage that?" Remus sounded impressed.
"Narcissia made some…negotiations with snape," my grin for my so-called girlfriends got wider.
"You're good," James said in awe. I smirked and nodded.
"All hail Sirius Black!" cried my friends, bowing low before me. I was king-
"Don't start sounding like an asshole, Sirius," Narcissia purred in his ear. Sirius jumped.
"'Cissia! Where'd you come from?" cried Sirius. Remus and James were howling on the floor with laughter.
"She was right next to you for ten minutes!" James gasped out. Sirius scowled at his girlfriend.
"Move over sweetie, they want to hear a girl now," Narcissia pushed her boyfriend out of the way and grabbed the quill. After changing the ink to a pink color she began to write furiously.
So the plan was put into action. The weeks flew by until the big night finally arrived. Sirius had found a date in Becky Abbot, and I, Lucius Malfoy (yuck!). Just so no suspicions would arise; Snape had asked Lily to go with him. Frankly, I thought Snape would look much cuter with Drusilla Brown (Nancy Brown's sister) and Lily with James, but that's my opinion. Anyway, all of the sixth and seventh years, plus the faculty, were in The Three Broomsticks, unknowingly getting drunk. All but Arthur, Alex, James, Sirius, Remus, and I were drinking butter beer by the gallons! Snape must have been so enthralled with Lily, because he forgot not to drink the butter beer. The six of us shared glances when teachers began to complain of the heat and when Lily Evans began to snog with Snape, well, that was our cue to get the party started. Luckily the snogging was enough distraction for James to sneak out unknowingly. While he was out, kids began to snog like crazy. Teachers began to take off their robes and dance on the table. I was even able to sneak in a quick snog with Sirius. Eventually James returned, but-
"Move it sister," James butted Narcissia out of the way and wrote away.
And it was mass chaos! Hogs were running every where, half naked students and teachers trying to run out the door. But as soon as they stepped past the threshold, even more chaos ensued. A mile long oil slick from The Three Broomsticks to the Jell-o cube was so slippery that not even the most sober person could keep their balance. And the very last inch was charmed so that it would catapault the victim into the 10 foot high and 20 feet wide jell-o cube. One by one, people went from oil to jell-o. And Lily Evans was a site to see. Oil from the slick and from her date was all in her hair and on her face and brand new dress robes. In addition to being stained with oil, her robes were also tattered and she reeked of Hog's dung. Her Head Girl badge got lost in the shuffle, and every shred of her dignity was gone. I had finally brought down Lily Evans!
"JAMES HARRY POTTER! YOU HAVE DETENTION! YOU AND SIRIUS BOTH!" she screeched as Sirius and I doubled over with laughter at her sorry sight.
"I HATE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" her screaming sounded like a banshee.
Later on, while Remus was trying to get us out of detention, Sirius looked at me and said:
"Damn…That was fun!"
Looking at the story, the four friends were proud. James glanced at his watch and saw that it was ten to seven.
"Bloody hell, I've got to go!" he cried, running for his cloak.
"Go where?" inquired Sirius.
"I have a date," James grinned, finding his cloak and fastening it on. Remus took note of his secretive smirk and had a sudden feeling as to who the lucky lady was.
"With whom?" asked Narcissia, cuddling up next to Sirius.
"Lily Evans," he grinned. He grabbed his wand and disapparated before he could get hit with any of the objects being thrown at him could hit.
*
SO? What did you guys think? Good? Bad? Can't read it? It y'all can't read it, I'll post a version w/ all one font. But I'll only know if you REVIEW!!!!!!!!!