You wouldn't believe how hard it was to write this, I thought I was seriously gonna kill my hand. I hate making conflict between these two... but I couldn't help it.

I love this pairing to death, Nowaki is such an adorable person! Love Hiroki too!

Enjoy!

-Akira

"Hiro-san… I love you." Nowaki whispered softly, slowly caressing his way along Hiroki's neckline, "So, so much…"

"Nnh, yeah." Came the muffled reply.

They lay together for some time, somewhat happy to be in each others company. Hiroki tried to lean closer to Nowaki, wanting the once familiar warmth, but found himself distancing from the younger. It became a rare occasion for the couple to be intimate. Neither found themselves in the mood to do anything further than cuddling. Their lives were different and that included their schedules. Their differences were beginning to show, much more than before. There was still love between the two though it slowly faded away as each day passed.

Nowaki rarely showed himself in their home. He even went as far as to rent an apartment closer to the hospital. The times he did go home were on his days off.

Hiroki kept himself busy with his own job, hardly leaving the college. There were times he'd find himself still sitting in his chair way after midnight.

Now that they were together, it was almost painful. There was hesitation in Nowaki's movements and Hiroki had a hard time finding the old childish ways of the boy. His eyes were cold and appeared to no longer shine like they once did.

Hiroki turned to face him, reaching out for Nowaki's cheek when he did.

"I-" he was cut off, Nowaki pulled until their lips met.

It was uncomfortable. Neither enjoyed it. They tried to continue, failing in the end.

"Hiro-san…" he whispered in a strained voice, placing his hands on either side of his lover's face, "I love you."

"Yeah." Hiroki choked out, trying to hold back his tears.

"What are you doing tomorrow Hiro-san?" the younger asked, leaning in to brush his lips against Hiroki's ear.

"My day off." He answered, closing his eyes at the touch, "You?"

"I have to work but I might come home early."

"Is that so? I… that's new." Was all Hiroki could say.

"Mmm, but I can't promise anything."

Nowaki yawned, he stood up and was about to leave for his own room when Hiroki grabbed his wrist.

"Where are you going?"

"My own room Hiro-san." Nowaki replied with a sigh.

"Why?" the elder blurted out, "You usually sleep here."

"I'm not in the mood tonight."

Hiroki flinched, taking a second to process things. He knew their relationship was borderline… but until that point, never had Nowaki refused to sleep with him.

"I-I see." He finally said, trying to not sound upset.

"Goodnight." Nowaki exited the room quickly.

The next morning, they found themselves awkwardly sitting at the breakfast table. Instead of one meal being cooked, each made their own food to suit their own tastes. Nowaki was eating slowly, only then did Hiroki notice how thin and pale the man was. It was almost a sickly pale color. His weight loss was noticeable, more so than his color.

"Are you sure you should go to work today?" Hiroki finally asked once he could no longer stand the silence.

Nowaki ignored him while he chewed, not even looking at Hiroki, "What do you mean?" he asked after a few seconds.

"I dunno… you seem pale… are you eating properly when you're alone?"

"I'm fine. You really don't have to worry about me." Nowaki placed his dishes in the sink, "I'll be seeing you then."

Within the span of five minutes, Nowaki changed and left the apartment. Hiroki found himself staring at the blank TV screen, wondering when the blasted machine had last been on.

Oh… it was when we still spent time together… I think we were watching a movie or something, that brat clung to me the whole time. He wouldn't dare let go, begging me to stay on the couch with him all night long.

A tear escaped, falling on to his hand. Hiroki cupped his hand over his mouth, trying to silence the sobs. The last thing he needed were the neighbours to complain.

On the other side of the front door stood Nowaki, wide-eyed as he listened to the crying sounds of Hiroki. He realized the situation with their relationship a while ago, not wanting to admit it. He loved Hiroki more than anything… right?

How, how did things end up this way? Isn't this what happens to couples when they're no longer interested? Is it because we've been together for too long?

His own tears fell, causing him to gasp.

Hiro-san… Hiro-san… what happened to us? Why did we change so much? Where did we go wrong?

He turned and left, not caring about the people who saw his tears. The day needed to end quickly.

When Hiroki recovered, it was well in to the afternoon. He was on the floor, his arms wrapped around himself. The exact time of day was still a mystery, but the fact that the sun was setting meant it was late.

Damn… what a waste of a day… DAMN, DAMN! I look like some depressed teenager feeling sorry for himself! Urgghh!

Hiroki sat up when the door handle clicked, tilting his head he turned to look.

Professor Miyagi welcomed himself in, grinning as he sat down on the couch.

"Nice place." He whistled.

"When and how did you get a key to my apartment?" Hiroki asked angrily.

"You left it on your desk, I thought I'd give it back." Miyagi explained, "Besides I've never seen you place before! It's surprisingly neat, do you clean or does that Nowaki guy clean for the both of you?"

At the mention of the younger, Hiroki's gaze met the ground, "We both did…I'm not really sure which one of us does it now." He replied in a very low whisper.

"So you guys are going down a rough road?"

Surprised by the question, Hiroki looked up, "What?"

"You've been out of it for the past two months Hiroki." The professor spoke seriously, "Your attention in elsewhere, and frankly it bothers me. The students notice it but not as much as I do. You're putting yourself in a very vulnerable position, I hope you realize. Your job is at risk as well!" the other didn't reply, "Look," he continued with a sigh, "I know it's hard."

Miyagi took Hiroki by the shoulders, "It's time to end it, officially."

"W-What?"

"You know it's the right thing to do. You make each other suffer the more this lasts."

"How would you know?" Hiroki mumbled and struggled to free himself.

"I had to do the same."

Hiroki remembered the young boy that had been with the professor, the childish and clingy ways reminding him of Nowaki in a sense. The relationship had been a "phase", as Miyagi called it, knowing that the boy would one day want something more out of a relationship.

"You…?"

"Yeah, I ended it with Shinobu. We were just like the two of you, though I ended it much faster. You're letting it drag on and it'll make it much harder."

"I…"

"What do you want Hiroki? I hate to see you suffer." Miyagi sat on the couch beside Hiroki.

What do I want? Our pathetic excuse of a relationship is only going downhill… wouldn't it be better to break it? Heh… reminds me of the many times I ended it, only to get chased down by him. What'll I do once it's over?

"I refuse!" a voice cried from the doorway leading into the room.

"Oh look, he's back!" Miyagi exclaimed with a smile, "Nice to see you again."

"Get the hell out of here!" Nowaki screamed, ready to pull the man out of the apartment.

Hiroki saw the anger and frustration in the younger's eyes, now he could tell that Nowaki had realized their sad reality. There really wasn't any time left. It was only a matter of days before something worse would happen.

Nowaki was losing his strength, Hiroki could see that the young doctor was beginning to weaken. Sick and thin, two things that were never a good mix. Ironic. He was supposed to set an example of healthy-living to his patients.

"No need to be mean, I'll be leaving. I only came to return the key."

Nowaki glared at the man, following him with his eyes as Miyagi wandered to where Hiroki sat.

"Think about it…" he whispered softly before leaving the room.

"Yeah…"

Nowaki watched the door close, standing up alone for quite some time after that. Hiroki didn't bother getting the younger to sit with him, Nowaki moved himself.

He pinned Hiroki down roughly, his lips parted slightly as he tried to remove his lover's shirt. When it finally came off, he kissed the heaving chest beneath him. His mouth traveled all over the body, needing it more than ever. His nails dug in at where Hiroki's ribcage was, drawing out blood and a pained groan. Ignoring the pleas below, he scratched and kissed. He forcefully made their lips meet, biting Hiroki's lower lip when he struggled to move away. They remained with their lips crushed together, Nowaki tore open a gash on the other's body. Hiroki cringed and tried to pull away again, only to have his lips taken again. Nowaki entered Hiroki's mouth, tasting blood.

You won't end it with me, you never will! I won't allow it!

"Nowaki, Nowaki!" Hiroki cried desperately once they parted, "Please Nowaki! Listen to me!"

The younger took it as a sign to continue, not giving an extra thought about Hiroki's wellbeing. He wanted to tear his lover's body apart, to make him stay.

…He took Hiroki without a thought, no hesitation. There hadn't been a single hint of love.

Nowaki could see what he had done, the horrible and disgusting person he had become. The one person he had loved was now a miserable and confused man, with marks of abuse all over his body. Several wounds could be found, though none of them serious enough to call an ambulance. He wanted to take everything he had done back from the weak body before him. To give him back his happiness…

"Hiro-san…"

"It's over Nowaki."

"No, please Hiro-san!" he reached for the other, only to be rejected.

"It's gone too far. I don't hold anything against you Nowaki, you were desperate. It's time to call it quits for good." Hiroki got dressed, "I'm leaving."

"NO, Hiro-san!"

"Just shut the fuck up!" Hiroki screamed at the boy, "It's over, done! We can't turn back! I have no idea what happened. We've probably been together for too long. We've overused each other."

"We can fix this!" Nowaki was on his knees, trying to find something to say.

"We can't, you know it."

The world they had shared for so long came spiralling down. It created a long resonating crash between them, enough to separate them for good. They would never again be the happy couple they had been, there would never be cute cuddly moments together. It was finished.

Nowaki stared down, as if thinking the floor would give him support, "We have to."

"No, it's better this way Nowaki."

"Why? Who said it was better?"

"Stop being so fucking retarded, you see it just as well as I do." Hiroki grabbed a bag from the corner of the room, the bag he had packed some time ago.

"No- you can't, you won't Hiro-san." Nowaki was pleading.

"I can and I will." With that being said, he made for the door and stepped out.

Nowaki slumped forward, trying to sort out the situation. He knew it would happen eventually but this was different. He knew he was a selfish person for thinking it could still go on. Pretending it would never happen wasn't a solution. The feeling had been gnawing at him for a long time and he did it on purpose to work long hours at the hospital. It was just so he didn't see Hiroki's hurt face.

"Hiro-san… please don't leave… please stay here…" Nowaki curled into a ball and squeezed his eyes shut.

Hiroki realized he had forgotten his wallet in the apartment. Cursing to himself, he angrily made his way around crowds.

I'll just wait a while and get it once everything's calmed down a little. I still have a key, so I could go get it tomorrow when he goes to work or something… No, maybe I should just leave it there… urgghhh, what the hell, how did I forget my damn wallet?

"Hiroki?" a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What?" he turned to a familiar face, "Shinoda-san?"

"So it really was you!" Shinoda smiled and walked closer.

"Sorry, you caught be off-guard." Hiroki sighed.

"What's wrong?" for once, the man sounded concerned.

"Bad day… you know…" Hiroki felt his throat tightening, he wanted to cry so badly.

"Papa!" a young voice called nearby.

Hiroki found the voice belonged to a young girl, he had seen her before with Shinoda. It had been the first time Hiroki had seen the man smile from his heart.

"Papa's here Emiko, don't worry!" he pulled the girl into an embrace and lifted her up on his shoulders, "He's just talking with a very good friend."

Friend? Huh… never thought he'd call me that… oh well…

Hiroki choked as he swallowed, still trying to fight the tears. The battle was hard and he let one tear escape, surprising Shinoda.

"What's wrong?" he asked and leaned in closer to Hiroki, Shinoda cupped the man's cheek.

"N-Nothing's wrong." The other protested.

"Is it still Akihiko? That jerk is one hard-headed man if he doesn't realize something soon. I'll go tell him myself if I have to…"

"No! It isn't him."

"It isn't?" Shinoda appeared shocked, "You loved him so much…"

"Is this really something we should be talking about with your daughter?" Hiroki asked suddenly.

Shinoda pointed to the said girl, who was fast asleep on his shoulders, "She's ok." Hiroki couldn't help but smile, "So you got over Aki…"

"Took a while…"

"Sure did." Shinoda saw the glassy eyes of the other, seeing how upset he was, "Why don't you stay over tonight?"

"What about your wife?" Hiroki asked, "I couldn't."

"Don't worry about it, really." Shinoda assured him, "It's just me and Emi."

Here's where it begins! dum dum duuuuummmm

Anyone else feel sad about the way I left Nowa-chan? I am.

For those who may not know, Shinoda shows up in the manga!

Comment please!

Akira