Hello world! It's been awhile since I've written. Feel free to give me your thoughts! Love!
Gasping for air, I hurled myself down another staircase before taking refuge in a cold, dark corner. My body tingled with unease; I could hear my pulse beating as though it was keeping time to a Russian tango in fast forward. My head was between my knees and for a moment my body went numb. At that moment, I would have been okay with becoming a part of that stone wall. The dark was my friend. I needed to be alone. I needed to get out of there.
I could already picture the horrified and disappointed faces of my friends; hell, half of my family might just disown me for what I just did, which would be very ironic in retrospect, but I felt safe in my own little corner where no one would ever find me.
"Miss Weasley?" I heard a shrill, yet familiar voice call out to me. The hallway echoed with the resonant expression.
Hurriedly, I picked myself up and pulled at my skirt as if it wasn't already long enough. "P-professor McGonagall," I stammered, probably red in the face and looking like the Whomping Willow had a party on my head.
Peering at me off the tip of a nose that strongly resembled her pointed hat, she remarked, "You look rather flustered."
I was at a loss for words. Me. Rose Weasley. The brightest witch of my generation. I am never out of things to say; let that be evidence to how… flustered I had become. "Well, yes… I mean, no, I was just… just…"
"Just running from something?"
Suddenly, I felt ashamed and embarrassed that she could see through me so easily. Not only was I a silent, bumbling fool, but I was becoming a transparent dip. There was silence on my end; I didn't know how to reply to her accusation.
"Miss Weasley, may I offer you some advice?" She mistook my silence as an eagerness to learn. The poor old woman. Advice was the last thing on my mind, I just wanted to curl up and forget that I ever existed. "Instead of running in a circle around your problems, run to them." I felt her gaze comb over me slowly; I kept tugging on my skirt. "You are very much like your father, you know. Had he been more eager to confront his problems, he may have gotten something he wanted much sooner."
"What's that, professor?"
"Your mother." Huh? With that, the dear old Minerva glided around a corner and out of sight. I was left in the dark to chew on everything.
The hallway seemed much smaller to me after she left, and the corner that I slid back into seemed less cozy and inviting. I was stuck. The way McGonagall put it made it seem like confrontation was the best way to get what I wanted. I mean, my dad eventually got my mum; Merlin knows that he's still proud of it to this day. But what did I want? I wanted a new broomstick. A couple of new novels would be nice as well, but did I want that? It was a foreign idea, one that had been off-limits to me only an hour ago.
After what seemed like mere moments, I found my resolve. I was going to go back in there like an angry hippogriff and get what I wanted… even though I still had no new ideas what that was. I needed some development. Fast.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I bounded up to the Gryffindor common room. You would think I'd be more out of breath going up, right? Wrong. It was effortless. I was practically flying. I yelled the password "goblin's feet" at the Fat Lady from across the hall and strode in there with all of my might ready to "run to my problem" as McGonagall had so eloquently put it, only to find an empty common room. Great. I was going to lose it and run away again.
Remembering what was at stake, I soared to the boy's dormitory in hopes that it wouldn't be empty. It wasn't, but it wasn't exactly who I was looking for.
"Rose!" my tousled hair (which was oddly attractive to most of the Hogwarts female population) cousin, Al, lit up when he saw me. "I need you to look over my Charms essay. I couldn't quite figure out the bit about the neverending-"
"Not now Albus," I cut him off. "Where's Scorp?"
He sighed and put his essay back onto his mess of a wardrobe. "Why?" he asked while digging through his drawers for Godric-knows-what. I keep telling him to clean that out before boggarts make a nest there.
"Because I need to talk to him," I knew where he was going with this, and it wasn't going to be pretty. Between me and the great Scorpius Malfoy, Al would choose his best friend (who is also mine) over me. No hard feelings, but honestly? What happened to family first?
Al peered at me hesitantly, "Did he get to talk to you today?"
Merlin, this was taking too much time. I was losing time and determination, and the pointed looks from my own kin weren't helping. "Yes," I replied shortly.
Aside from the squeak of wardrobe hinges, the dorm was quiet. Too quiet for me at present. I shifted awkwardly and stared at a spot on the floor that I had never noticed before. "So he told you?"
Silence. "Yes."
More silence. "And?"
"Al. Where is Scorp?" I demanded.
The distance between the two of us got smaller as he suddenly approached me. "Rose," he asked quietly but with the good and faithful Potter fierceness, "What did you do?"
If I'm being completely honest, I was about ready to run out of there and hide back in my corner where even Al couldn't hurt me. It was either a body-binding spell that kept me in place, or I actually was set on running at this problem. At this rate I was sprinting. Preparing to receive a well-deserved punch or bat-bogey hex, I tensed by body and backed towards the door. "I ran away," I managed to murmur.
"You what?" Albus all but screamed at me. "Rose, you can't just leave your best mate standing around like an idiot after something like that!" Yes, I realize that Albus. Thank you for stating the obvious. "No wonder he seemed so distant and miserable earlier, you heartless fool!"
"Albus Severus Potter!" I boomed, "Tell me where Scorpius is or I swear I'll tell your mother what you said about her sweet potato pie!" Ha. That was the best threat I've ever come up with. Well, aside from the time I threatened Teddy to take me on a tour at the Ministry. I told him I'd tell Victoire he was going to propose. The funny part was that he hadn't planned on doing that yet. Best tour I've gotten so far. But I digress. Aunt Ginny gets so defensive about her baking, especially when her immediate family is concerned.
"Fine, Rose! Just please don't tell mum, it'll ruin her" he pleaded. "But if I tell you, you need to go fix this, because I am not sorting this out for you. This is between you and Scorpius." I nodded after a moment. "He left with his books, he's probably in the library."
Without hesitation, I leapt down the stairs. I don't think I'd ever taken so many stairs at Hogwarts in one day; maybe it made up for the Quiddich practice that I missed last Tuesday.
What was I going to say? How was I going to act? I had gotten myself in a really big mess here; like my dad complaining about SPEW in front of my mother bad. After knocking a couple of second-years out of my way, I floated through the library. I knew exactly where I'd find one Scorpius Malfoy.
We weren't always friends. I hated his guts for the first three years of school. I thought he was a pompous prat with too much money sitting in his pockets. Well, he is. But the point is that I thought that I was better. In fourth year I had to change my opinion, partly because my cousins, who all adore the Malfoy, forced me to, and partly because he carried me all the way to the hospital wing after he accidentally knocked me off of my broom during Quiddich tryouts (which I still believe to be intentional). Anyways, I had grown fond of him and we had bonded over books, schoolwork, and bossiness almost immediately. He's my best friend. But not if Lily asks, then she's my best friend.
I could see his perfect, blonde hair through the shelves before I could see the rest of him. He was sitting in the spot where we usually study together. He was in my seat staring blankly out the window that looks out onto to the lake and green hills surrounding the school. My stomach was not happy with me, my nerves made my knees feel weak, and the library seemed to suddenly increase dramatically in temperature. As I approached him from behind, I could see that while his books were open, his parchment was blank and he hadn't even dipped his quill in ink. I felt so guilty. I wasn't the one suffering at all, he was. I had completely hung him out to dry. At that moment I decided that I had to talk to him, even if it scared the living hell out of me. I had to do it for him.
As soon as he saw me, he dipped his clean quill in his ink and began to write. I sat across from him at the table, refusing to look him in the eye. I felt like the dusty shelves behind him, helpless and guilty. "Hi," I started.
He was breathing rather calmly compared to me. "Where have you been?" he squinted at his parchment. I didn't think that this would be easy, but I never thought he'd ice me out like this; I'm supposed to be his best friend. Best friends don't shut the other one out. Then again, they don't run away, either. Merlin, I need to stop while I'm ahead.
"Around," I tried to be calm about the situation. "Can we talk?"
"Sure," he ended a sentence and looked at me with cool grey-blue eyes. Damn his eyes. They've never been so completely empty and void of emotion before.
I cleared my throat and shifted around, once again tugging at my skirt. "Listen," I explained, "I'm really sorry about earlier…"
He didn't respond. Instead, he turned back to his paper and started writing. We both knew it definitely wasn't his best work, but he didn't stop. The library was quiet aside from the occasional whispers and sounds of books sliding across the shelves. The silence was driving me up the wall
After awhile, I lost it. My guilt and fright crept too far into my conscience. "You know, it took a lot for me to come here, and I was really hoping that we could discuss what happened earlier."
When he looked up at me, I felt as though I had just kicked a puppy. "With all due respect, Rose, it took a lot for me to tell you that I-" he trailed off and turned his attention back to his writing. I could tell that he had gone cold when he replied, "I think that you leaving after I told you how I felt was enough discussion."
Ouch. What was I supposed to say to that? He was making it so easy for me to forget that the whole thing had happened. It was almost like he wanted me to overlook what was said. And if it were any other person, I would. But I wasn't going to let this go to the dogs. I was about to get on my soap box, but only because I cared.
"Scorp, I know you arguably more than anyone else. If I forget that this happened, you'll never be able to look at me again. I don't want that. And the moment that you told me how you felt, it became mine to deal with, too, so don't pretend that you're all alone."
Still nothing. Come on Malfoy, give me something to work with here. "I'm sorry for running away, but I was shocked and scared that my best friend had just told me that he's in falling love with me." He flinched a little at that, but I continued, "And I don't know what to do. But I'm not going to sit around and lose you because I can't handle what you feel. That's all."
He finally looked at me after a long and awkward silence. "So what do you propose we do?"
I shrugged, "I don't know, I didn't even know it was okay for us to feel things for each other. You always dated other people, so I guess I haven't really considered what it'd be like for you to be more than a friend." It's true, he'd dated nearly half of the female population at Hogwarts. Every time I'd think I was getting special attention, he'd come over with a new girl on his arm and stupid grin on his handsome face. Yes, I just called him handsome.
"Well maybe you just need to know that the option is there," he suggested as he started to pack away his books and ink. I pressed my fingers against the shallow carvings in the desk and took a breath.
"Yeah, maybe." He piled his things and rose from his chair. "Hey, where are you going?" I stood up in protest. A few lousy sixth-years glared at me, but didn't say anything. Scorp wasn't getting out of this. I had a firm resolve to fix this entire situation.
He smirked that famous Malfoy smirk at me, "To dinner," he responded in his baritone voice. "Oh, and Rose?" he pushed his chair in and came around the table. "There's one more thing."
"What?" I asked indignantly, still upset that he was leaving. The room stood still as he looked at me for a long moment. There was an uneasy rumbling in my stomach, and my brain was just as jumbled.
As I look back at it, I shouldn't have been surprised, but at the moment, I didn't know what to think. My best friend kissed me, one arm wrapped around my waist and one tangled in my still-frazzled red hair. It was over as quickly as it had begun. "I'll be waiting," he winked at me. Before I knew it, Scorpius had picked up his things and had gone, leaving me standing behind in utter bewilderment.
Damn. I think I could fall for him someday.