An: This starts as the season 9 finale ends. Merder oohing at Bailey and Zola, Jackson and April with an answered question, Callie and Arizona post fight.

XX

Mere and Derek looked so adorable with Zola and their new baby, I couldn't burden her with my problems. They are happy, she is happy; she needed to be happy. I am happy she's happy but I need my person right now, but she needs to be left alone. I love Owen, I really do, but I can't crush his dream, he chose me over his desire, his need to have a child, but he will regret it one day, he will resent me. I need someone to love me, for me to be enough for them. Not what they want me to be, I can't do that again, I won't change for them. I am Cristina Yang and I plan to stay that way.

Now I need to be alone. I can't go to an on call room it's the blackout, they will be filled with loved up, gooey eyed medical staff. Which presents the question, where do I go? I have been pacing up and down these halls for 10 minutes now.

I saw Alex and Jo making out, so he's useless too; I can't take away his happiness just because I don't have mine. He needs to be happy after all the shit he's been through; Rebecca going crazy, Izzie leaving him, that bitch who stole his job in Africa Lucy Fields, he needs this.

April and Jackson are having some sort of fight, I walked past them a few minutes ago, and saw her standing by the door waiting, not quite sure what for, but they looked like they wanted to be left alone. This hospital is full of people right now, most of them too happy for me to burden them.

Having a sudden epiphany I slowly made my way to the attending's lounge, it is too late for anyone to be in it surely? The backup generator still hasn't turned on so it is still perpetual darkness; the storm is raging outside but inside the hospital its peaceful, everyone is asleep, waiting out the storm. Opening the door I find Callie hunched over on the couch, I take a step back, ready to leave until I can make out the sound of her crying over the wind hissing outside. "Callie?" she looks up at me and even in the dark I can see her eyes are red and puffy, with tears streaming down her face, a tissue clutched in her hand. She looks how I feel. I rush over to her, I love Callie, I am Sofia's godmother, who knows why, and I hate to see her like this.

Sitting beside her I let her head fall on my shoulder and I pass her a tissue, "Honey whats wrong?" I cringe slightly at the use of honey, I don't speak like this, ever, but it seemed appropriate. Where on earth was Arizona why isn't she dealing with this?

"I lost her." Was she talking about a patient? I don't know why would she care so much about the death of a patient, sure they affect us, but they don't usually give us this much pain. Unless your Derek and you kill a pregnant woman, hid in the woods and call Meredith a lemon.

Instead of guessing I simply asked, "Who did you lose?"

"Arizona." I don't know what she means, did she leave in the middle of the storm or something?

"I'll go find her." I say preparing to stand.

"She slept with someone." This sounded all too familiar.

"What!"

"She slept with someone to get back it me." Wow that hit home. But Arizona was a Peds surgeon, she was a happy, over energised bunny most of the time. How could she do this to Callie? The plane crash had changed us all, ever since the amputation something inside her morphed, but it seemed as if she getting better. "All because of that damn leg."

I put my arm around her, hugging her, "I broke up with Owen."

She raised her head and looked at my through her tears, "Why?"

"He wants children, I don't. I can't give him what he wants, and I don't want to take away his dream."

Resting her head back on my shoulders she took a deep breathe, "Bitches."

I smiled, "Yeah."

"She said I hadn't lost anything." A wave of grief washed over me, I saw Lexie lying beneath the plane with Mark holding her limp hand, and I saw Mark lying in ICU and I envisioned her crying over him when they cut off the life support.

"Oh Callie." I always felt awkward trying to comfort people, Callie and I were close once, we are still friends, never like Mere and I though. Mark was her person. If Callie was Meredith, Arizona would be her Derek and Mark her me.

All I felt like doing was punching Arizona in the face, or getting Karev to. I love Arizona, but with wet splotches on my scrubs and a snivelling Callie crying onto my shoulder I forcing me to pick and I chose Callie. I am aware that there are two sides to every story and all I know is Callie's but she was my friend first.

"What can I do?" I look around the room, trying to find an idea scattered around me, spotting an empty Chinese container, "Food?"

"No." she sniffed. Bingo.

"Drinking. I feel like drinking."

Lifting her head up, she picked up her tissues that were scattered around her, "I'll go get some." Trudging towards the bin I noticed something about her demeanour had changed, she seemed, I couldn't pick my finger on it. I watched her open a high cabinet, rise onto her tiptoes and pull out a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses.

Then it hit me. She looked shorter. It appeared as if this new personal disaster had cut about 2 inches off her. "It's only half full, but it'll do for now."

I nodded, "I think there might be some Scotch in the bottom cabinet if need be." She looked surprised, almost as if she figured there would only be one hidden bottle of alcohol in this room.

"What we really need is some of your Alzheimer's drinks, what were they called?" she asked with a smirk spreading across her tear ridden face.

Laughing I recalled my one time gig of bartending, "Early onset Alzheimer's." Taking the bottle and glasses off her I filled them to the brim.

"Right, because you won't remember anything after you drink it." Callie added laughing.

"Oh shut up and drink your tequila."

"With no salt? What sort of bartender are you?" she said pulling a puppy face.

"One that only lasted a night." One shot down, I leaned over to fill my glass again, "Another?"

Callie put her glass on the table, "Another."

XX