The tension left his body against his will and more swiftly than he would have expected. Exhaustion swept over him and the edges of his vision began to dim. He felt helpless as the only thing he felt could brace him for the transition was the tautness of his muscles. Severus refused to pray as the life left him though that seemed to be the natural inclination. Briefly, he wondered if Lily had uttered a prayer the night that the Dark Lord had decided her young family must die. Probably; she had always been full of faith and convictions and not necessarily opposed to the idea of a higher power.
Figuring the faithless must turn to the faithful before turning to God, he murmured, "Lily, help me."
Then it was over and he lost consciousness completely. He awoke some time later with the disorientation of one who had slept for a long period of time but felt as though only a few moments had passed. His head spun so he kept his eyes closed and waited for it to stop as the exhaustion slipped away as quickly as it had come. When he finally opened his eyes, he was greeted by a canopy of foliage overhead dappled with a fading sunlight. Still, it was intense, suggesting that the day had been very hot, and he could feel the warmth of the rays through his thick robes.
Slowly, he sat up and looked at his surroundings. A sense of wonderment came over him as he recognized the grove as a place from his childhood; a refuge in which he had spent many hours with his closest childhood friend. There was the stagnant lake that Severus's mother would never let him swim in for fear that he would catch something, and that Lily's young mother never let her swim in because Severus's mother seemed to think it was a bad idea. The trees were dense enough that one could see out on the little town but appear only a blur to those who might look back.
Severus was struck with the curious feeling of not knowing whether one is alive or dead. On the one hand, he physically felt much like he always had in life but there was something peculiar about waking up in such a paradise. It was a place he had avoided thinking about for many years for the overwhelming feeling of bitterness it caused but now he could only appreciate its beauty. In fact, he felt strangely light as though no longer weighed down by bitterness. Surely she would be here; what meaning had there been in this place without Lily? Standing, he began to walk around the clearing, examining the flora that he could now name for its medicinal properties and waiting expectantly for his friend.
He was observing a particularly full bush of nightshade – very poisonous, used in many ill-intentioned potions – when he heard her voice. Laughter followed by indistinct chatter, but very distinctly her voice with its robust feminine characteristics. Entranced, like a sailor following the tune of a siren, he walked in the direction that it had come from. Through the trees and to the very edge of the grove where it broke into a lovely clearing in which sat a two-story house. Curious, he attempted to push further, but was rebuffed by what felt like a particularly strong gust of wind though the sky was currently calm. He felt frustrated, the first negative emotion he had felt since arriving in this paradise.
Her laughter sounded again and he spotted her. She was outside the house and seated on a picnic blanket, dressed in a flowing sundress with her hair a mess and more beautiful than Severus ever remembered. He edged along the forest, occasionally going too far and being pushed back, calling her name and trying to get her attention. She seemed absolutely oblivious, however, talking animatedly with her companion whom Severus suddenly realized was none other than James Potter. He looked at the house in a new light and realized that it must be their family home and thought bitterly that it must look better blown apart as it had been on the night of their deaths.
Anger and bitterness overcame him and he turned, blindly crashing through the trees and bushes back to the clearing in the grove. He could still hear her laughter and their indistinct voices caught up in conversation. He attempted to go further away from the house and caught sight of the other side before he was pushed back again, still taunted by their voice. He sank to the ground and covered his ears with his palms, thinking that this was more of a prison than a paradise.