Every night I sit here
Just sit here and watch her cry.
She can't see me of course, i'm hidden, i'm good at hiding things so hiding myself isn't very hard. I have no idea why I watch her, but I do and no matter how hard I try to stay away I just can't stay away. I watch as her small shoulders shake with every sob as she cries into the knees of her jeans with her arms folded across her face as if she's protecting herself. Her hair falls over her face in bushy curls, scruffy from running her hands through it constantly. When she lifts her head to roughly wipe at her eyes, the moonlight that shines through the window catches at the tearstains that she so pointlessly attempted to wipe away. Her cheeks porcelain white and her eyes empty as she stares unseeing out of the window, overlooking the school from one of the many high towers.
She's good at acting, she acts as if she's happy like she's got all she ever wanted when really she's dying inside. Only I know better. I see through the act in so many ways. When she smiles it's never reaches her eyes and she hides behind books, using her brains to protect her. You'd think Potter and Weasley would notice but as always they're oblivious.
Only thing I can't stand is not being able to help her
Its not that I don't want to its just I can't. I can't get close enough. I spent 5 years ruining any chance of friendship between us, not that there was many. I made sure of that in first year. But now I'm part of the dark side I have no chance at all. We live in a world where dark and light won't mix. They can't mix. I'm on the side thats trying to kill her best friends as well as her. She's a mudblood on my side that translates to "she dies". I'm supposed to believe this along with every other deatheater. This means I don't get a chance to try fix her, i'm on the side killing her. So while she cries in this dark tower alone, I'll sit here in my secret place and watch her as she breaks.
Maybe one night I'll get my chance to fix her.
Maybe one night I'll crawl up beside her and comfort her. Tell her she'll be ok.
Maybe one night its won't matter that i'm killing her and in efect the cause of her breaking.
Maybe.