– Hey, so I know it's not the most popular pairing in the universe but hey…I thought they were cute together. So…sorry Shino maybe next time (when your name doesn't make me think of bug-boy from Naruto).

Uncertainties

Tall, dark and handsome.

Jin.

That's what he was. In addition to the basics, he was also chivalrous (in a quiet, subdued kind of way), strong, considerate, and kind of a romantic. Well, romantic in that he fell in love with and then rescued a trapped wife-turned-prostitute from a life of misery. He'd never see her again…probably. But that was small consolation since he would never fall in love with me either. Stupid unfair life. Why wasn't I older? Prettier? Curvier? Dammit – curse Mugen and his infatuation with pointing out my flaws every single freaking day!

It didn't even matter though, because no matter what I looked like, I was still me and he'd never love me for me because he was so much more mature than I'd ever be. Hey, I rhymed! Focus Fuu. I mean, technically – he was only like four years older than me – which is not much at all. But he acted so much older! Like he'd been forced to grow up young. Stark contrast to dogface who behaved like a child…a very perverted womanizing child.

Why me? Why do I torture myself with unrequited love? Am I a masochist at heart? Damn it all to hell! I took the diary that I hadn't written a word of this in – because Mugen was a snoop but he couldn't read so he'd make Jin read it for him, and he would because Mugen could talk him into anything – and threw it against the wall. I did this at the exact moment the object of my frustrations entered the deserted hut we were staying in. Jin gave me a startled look as Mugen just grunted in his sleep and rolled over. I turned my angry expression on Jin, getting up to push past him. He called my name as I stepped into the humid night air.

"Leave me alone," I ground out between my teeth, silencing him.

I stormed off into the woods, following a little trail that led to the river. I knew it was wrong to snap at him like that. After all, it wasn't his fault he wasn't in love with me. Our journey…our adventures were coming to an end. No more Jin and Mugen to bail me out of trouble every time someone tried to kidnap me. I'd probably be dead on the street within a week. But I had almost found him – the samurai who smelled of sunflowers. Father. And when I did, I was going to give him a piece of my mind. And then I'd leave…and be alone again. Jin and Mugen would go their separate ways – if they didn't kill each other first that is. And I'd have to find work soon or I'd starve.

My walk was taking me further and further down the riverbank. It was a beautiful night, I had to admit. The moon was full and the stars were shining bright as diamonds. Fragrant night flowers filled the air with their sweet scent. But I was way too emo to appreciate any of it.

Just when I was thinking my life couldn't suck anymore than it did right now, Buddha threw me a curve. Some flying…creature…flew out of the trees right in my face. I could feel the whoosh of air from its wings on my skin – it was that close! So naturally, I freaked. I ran back the way I'd come, screaming like a banshee. About half-way back I realized it was probably just an owl or bat or something…but I kept running sans the screams. That was roughly the same time I ran headlong into something hard and immovable. It grabbed me. I screamed some more. And then it made me look at it, holding my face still. It looked like Jin. Wait…it was Jin. And then to my utter dismay and horror, I was reduced to a sobbing heap of lard. I threw my arms around his waist and cried out all my woes into the front of his gi.

I told him about the winged spawn of Satan that had just tried to devour my soul. Hey…no one said I didn't have a gift for drama. I was far more upset that we were going to be separated soon, but if Jin thought I was crying about the owl and/or pterodactyl it was okay. He surprised me by wrapping me up in his arms and rubbing my back in a comforting way. He reassured me about the animal (which I couldn't care less about) and told me it was okay because he was here now. Thanks Jin, like I'm not painfully aware of the fact that you're here…hugging me…in the freaking moonlight! The gods were mocking me…that's all there was to it. He pulled away, regarding my – I'm sure – hideous, tear-streaked face with a look of sympathy.

"Let's sit down here for a while," he suggested, gesturing to a patch of grass by the riverbank.

I accepted of course, kind of curious. Jin of all people was not a let's-sit-down-and-talk kind of person. He probably just wanted to sit and not say anything at all. But he was just full of surprises tonight, because he asked me what was really bothering me. Now was the moment of truth. To lie or not to lie? I debated for a moment. He would know if I lied anyway and I was going to lose him either way, so why not tell the truth?

"I was just thinking that pretty soon we'll all be going our separate ways. And well, I guess I've grown attached to you two and I don't really want the adventures to end."

"I understand. I suspected as much – you haven't written in your diary in a long time."

"Why – did Mugen have you read it?"

"No, I just noticed that when you pull it out you're not actually writing in it."

"Oh. Yeah, I just…I don't know. I'm gonna miss you guys," I sniffled back unwanted tears.

"I know Fuu. We'll miss you too…even if he never says it out loud."

I laughed, "Yeah that's for sure. He'll miss having someone to humiliate on a regular basis."

"Everything has to end at some point Fuu. Our travels together have been…interesting to say the least."

"But why? Why does our fun have to end so soon? Is this quest the only thing holding us together – even now?" I sighed, acting on an impulse to lay my head against his arm. "I don't want to be alone again, that's all."

He stayed still, permitting me to rest against him. He remained silent though, no words of comfort came from his lips. Pretty lips…I thought sleepily. I was so tired – I didn't realize how much so until just then. I drank in Jin's soft, masculine scent and listened to his deep, even breaths, letting it lull me. I didn't even remember falling asleep, or being carried back to cabin, or the gift he gave me that night.

---+~+---

Jin kept silent as she admitted her true fear to him. Loneliness. He wondered if she knew just how much he disliked the idea himself. Much as he hated to admit it, he did enjoy their travels. Mugen with his big mouth, and Fuu with her ridiculous ability to attract trouble like a magnet had allowed him to stay an active samurai for far longer than he had thought possible. He stole a sideways glance at the girl when he felt her head slip against his shoulder a little. She was asleep. He liked her when she slept…she was quiet and innocent. She was innocent when she was awake too…dangerously so. She got into a lot of scrapes for just one girl. He wondered what would happen to her without Mugen or him to protect her. He shuddered a little when his mind conjured up an image of her broken body in the street…like so many others he had seen. He pushed it aside, reasoning that she was an intelligent girl; she would find a new guardian. Yet somehow, that didn't make him feel better either. The idea of another man protecting her in his stead pulled at his chest. No one else could guard her life as well as he had…what if the bastard tried to take advantage of her? But he was being absurd. He couldn't spend his whole life protecting this accident-prone girl!

He peered down at her again when a little sigh escaped her lips in her sleep. He shifted, very carefully lifting her in his arms. She barely stirred, she must be exhausted. He took her back to the empty shack, laying her down on some old blankets. She lie there, vulnerable to the world…a small smile on her full lips. His eyes swept over her mouth, a familiar burning sensation searing through his gut. Without even looking to see if Mugen was still asleep, he leaned down to place a gentle, chaste kiss on her lips. He wondered afterwards what had prompted him to do that, and why he had given in. He also wondered if he would truly be able to abandon her when the time came. He wondered until sleep claimed him. He wondered even after that.

So much wondering. There will be a second chapter eventually…when I get to it. We'll see what he finally decides in the end. Or perhaps…fate will choose for him. Dun, dun, duuuuuun.