Me: Hello, my little minions!

Grimmjow: Go to hell.

Me: Stupid kitty! RAWR!

Grimmjow: No, get away from me woman!

Me: RAWR! Can you do the disclaimer everyone?

Ulquiorra: Of course, non-trash.

Ichigo and Renji: … O.o

All: Kiyoki Fujimoto97 does not own us, or anything to do with Bleach!

Ulquiorra: If she did, then may Aizen-sama have mercy on their trashy souls.

Grimmjow: And what about you, huh?

Ulquiorra: She likes me.

Me: uh… start the story!

-_-START STORY NO JUTSU-_-

Grimmjow blinked, not sure if he was seeing things properly. Next to him, Renji had his mouth open and was gaping with wide eyes. The two had frozen in shock and Yoruichi snickered as she got out the video camera and began recording.

The cause for their shock (and in Yoruichi's case, amusement), was the substitute shinigami himself, Kurosaki Ichigo.

Ichigo blushed as the two hot-blooded males snapped out of their shock and leered at him, succeeding in making Ichigo feel even more uncomfortable. The reason for the strawberry's problems was the French maid dress that he was wearing.

The ravishable berry was wearing a lace up corset and a short black mini skirt, which showed off his long legs. Legs that were currently covered in black see through stockings and showed off the garters that Ichigo was wearing. Ichigo's waist long orange hair had been curled, and on the top of the curls was a little lace headband that was sitting rather snugly in his hair. He was wearing light makeup, and small black shoes. When Ichigo blushed, and nervously pulled down the skirt self-consciously with his head down low, Yoruichi squealed silently. It was the picture of the perfect uke.

"Well, well, Ichigo, I must say that I never expected this from you." Said Grimmjow in amusement as his eyes sweeped over Ichigo's body.

"Not that we're complaining or anything." Said Renji hurriedly before grinning as Ichigo pouted at them, causing his two dominant lovers to grab him and a bear hug and swing him around, all the while yelling kawaii at the top of their lungs. After a bit, they let go of the dizzy berry and sat down, Renji pulling Ichigo into his lap.

"I must ask though, Ichi-chan," began Yoruichi as she smirked at the glare she received from Ichigo. As it turns out, you're a lot less scary if you wear a French maid outfit and a sporting a rather large blush on your face. "What on Earth possessed you to do such a thing?" she asked as she settled herself down on the couch to make herself comfortable.

'This should be good.' Yoruichi thought to herself as she watch the blush on Ichigo become even deeper.

"Well, it all started out when…"

-_-FLASHBACK NO JUTSU-_-

Ichigo stared at his white counterpart in shock. Shirosaki in turned merely grinned lazily at the deathberry.

"Shiro, why on earth would I want to wear something like that!" spluttered Ichigo as he gestured wildly at the maid dress that the hollow was holding up.

"Because, Ichi-chan, today is Valentine's Day, an' ya should do something for ya lovers. And I just have a feelin' tha' Grimmy an' Renny would have no objections ta ya wearin' somethin' like this. I certainly know I don'." purred out Shirosaki as Ichigo blushed before swinging a fist at him. It missed, and Ichigo scowled before before putting his hands on his hips and leaning to one side.

"Oh, shouldn't you be with Ulquiorra? And why on earth did you call Grimmjow-kun and Renji-kun Grimmy and Renny?" asked Ichigo as he rapidly blinked, finally processing what the hollow had said. Shirosaki shrugged.

"Because I can." Shirosaki said simply, before holding out the maids outfit again.

Ichigo paused, before weighing the options. The good was that it would probably make Grimmjow and Renji happy. The bad was that it was something a girl would wear! The good was that it would make Grimmjow and Renji VERY happy. The bad… girls wear it?

'Oh screw it.' Thought Ichigo as he grabbed the outfit and stomped away into his room.

Shirosaki grinned in a very satisfied manner to himself.

"Mission complete."

-_-END FLASBACK NO JUTSU-_-

"…and that's what happened." Finished Ichigo as the four of them thought in silence. Grimmjow and Renji looked at each other and nodded in a determined manner, before turning around to stare at their uke with heated eyes. Ichigo, seeing the look, shivered slightly. Three guesses at to what from.

"Grimmjow-kun, Renji-kun, what are yo-ARGH!" Ichigo yelled suddenly as Renji picked him up and carried him up the stairs to their shared bedroom in their mansion that Isshin had bought Ichigo for getting such wonderful lovers. Ichigo didn't understand how his father was ok with his underage son going out with the souls of dead people, but as Isshin had said. It only matters what's inside. Ichigo had then pointed out to his father that Grimmjow and Renji technically were what were inside of people, what with Renji being 200 years old and Grimmjow 675 years...

Mate, you should have seen the chaos that followed after that particular conversation!

But now, back to the present…

"Let me go! Renji-kun, Yourichi-san is still downstairs!" begged Ichigo as Renji merely grinned before throwing him on the bed. Grimmjow nodded to Yoruichi who had left them some privacy. Grimmjow called out a thank you to her before bounding up the stares, grinning when he saw that Renji had already pinned down to the bed and was ravishing their berry's cute little mouth.

Once Renji gave Ichigo some room to breathe, Ichigo breathed harshly, before looking over to where Grimmjow's eyes were gleaming and the ex-espada was beginning to walk over to the bed.

Ichigo gulped, even as his breath quickened and shivers rolled down his spine. Renji and Grimmjow noticed this, looked at each other, and grinned.

Ichigo yelped as the two suddenly launched themselves at him, before the sounds quickly turned to moans. Unknown to the threesome, they had a watcher.

Inside Ichigo's mind, Shirosaki snickered as he grabbed a chair and popcorn, before sitting back to enjoy the show.

-_- END STORY NO JUTSU-_-

Me: And that is it! I hope you enjoy the story, I know I did. So what do you guys think?

Ichigo: … Let's get this straight. I'm gay, in a threesome with a shinigami and an arrancar, my hollow is a pervert, said hollow has a name, and you're asking me what I think?

Me: Yep!

Ichigo: I think it went well.

Grimmjow and Renji: Ichi-chan!

Ichigo: ACK!

Shirosaki: Aaah, such is life!

Me: Don't quote Ned Kelly!

Shirosaki: No, that's not suppose to bend that way! AAAAAGGGGHHHH!

Ulquiorra: …Trash…

All: Read and review!