Code Geass:Sagas of the Douche
Chapter:1
Hello readers. My name is Lelouche of blah blah fuck it already, look if you have seen my mangas and shows and still dont know who the fuck I am, then your deserve to get your little punk asses beat, but thats all besides the point. You see in about five minutes, the finest, hottest, and most intellectual woman is gonna roll up into this bitch, and her name? you may so humble ask is Nunnally, and I know what your thinking, "Dude shes yah sista.." .But if you saw all the crap that I went through to make the world a better place for her, you too would understand my love. Now back to the scene im trying to setup.
Ok, I am sitting at the lunch table right, with stalker ass shirley staring at me as if she was a fly and I was the shit; Kallen acting all girly, when she has penis envy like a mother fucker...well since she is a girl I guess shes a father sucker, Rolo "this shit ain`t in cannon" is masturbating to a picture of kaowru; Milly is acting like a bitch as usual, when infact she thinks about taking some of my long.. and it stops. I stop focusing on the little details because shes here.
Rolling into the cafateria with the grace of a drunken driver "oh she is too cute not to like" and knocking over fellow students as they carry scolding hot plates of lunch. She's truly a goddess of chaos, oh how I love thee with the intensity of a thousand suns. But it was all ruined when the SHIT-ZA-KOO, walked his high and noble ass in this bitch, and started spouting that bull shit britannian chivalry crap, and fucking up the-douche`s game. He was all up in her grill like bugs to a...well... grill. But do y'all honestly think that the leader of the black knights is worried? Well ok yes, if that Shoes-sawk-you`s fancy words worked on Nunnally. I would be totally and utterly destroyed.
So I like many many many men before me, I did the only thing that could distract him. I walked up to suzaku, leaned into his ear, and whisperd in a devilishly sexy tone "I would so go gay for you if you touch my sister" .and like every man before him, he took the bait."Well Lelouche I could not possablly fuck your sister, especially since she can`t appreciate my eleven levels of thrust." .said suzaku in a completely bitchified manner. I was so like relieved, more relieved than when shirley gave me a blow on one of my bad hair days. Havin' no gel sure is a bitch ain`t it ladies? yeah, thats why I jerk out some emergency supply when my bitches are in dire need of it.
But before I can ramble on about my skeet skeet to yo feet feet. that mofo Rolo goes spider man in this motha fucka and being all angsty and sexually confused, Rolo flings his recently ejaculated juices at the sexist thing he can. Unfortunetly, he flings that shit at my ass, so like pimp who wants his money bad, I bitch slap shirley who then becomes frozen in sadistic estacy and use her as a shield from said spider gunk. Splat! said the gunk, yuck said the bitch. and GTFO said the Douche. I am the fucking playa of all playa too fly to even be contained by the sky.
But thats just a day in my life as a Douche of them all.