Jet: Remind me why we're doing this AGAIN.
Zuko: Because if we DON'T, fangirls will kidnap us in our sleep.
Jet: Right. So, what's for today?
Sokka: Roll camera.
Jet: (looks confused) We're talking about cameras?
Zuko: (whacks Jet) No, you idiot! He wants to get our reaction to whatever we ARE talking about on camera!
Jet: (look of dawning comprehension) That would make a lot more sense. So, what're we talking about?
Suki and Katara: OCs.
Zuko: What does OC even stand for?
Jet: (incredulously) You've got a sister who's an OC, and you don't even KNOW?!
Zuko: Well, no. I don't.
Jet: Even I know!
Zuko: Well, you're dating one and know four others!
Jet: Still. The one who told me is your sister!
Zuko: And you're a lot more familiar with her mouth than I am!
Suki: Okay, TMI. Waaaayyy TMI.
Jet: TMI? What does THAT mean?
Zuko: And you think I'm stupid because I didn't know what OC means?!
Jet: Kinda, yeah.
Suki: (facepalm) Do you nitwits WANT me to get brain damage?!
Katara: Think of what Amena goes through.
Suki: Amena?
Sokka: She's the OC they're arguing about. She's Zuko's half-sister AND Jet's girlfriend.
Suki: How does she manage that?
Amena: With great difficulty.
Suki: Wait, who are you and when did you get here?
Amena: Oh, I'm Amena. Nice to meet you.
Suki: When did you get here?
Amena: Just now.
Suki: Okay then. Seriously though. Jet and Zuko just talking are one kind of trouble, but I don't see how you manage both all the time.
Amena: Easy. Jet I can bribe or threaten. Zuko I can blackmail.
Suki: But aren't you a firebender? I mean, you ARE Zuko's sister.
Amena: Yeah, I am. So what?
Suki: Jet HATES firebenders.
Jet: Thanks for stating the obvious, Suki. Oh, hey Amena.
Amena: Hey Jet. And yeah, he does, but I could calm him down right after he found out, and now he's just used to it.
Suki: Really? How do you calm Jet down?
Amena: I'm afraid that there are only two ways known to man: to use energybending to manipulate his emotions, or to bribe him into calming down. The first no longer works, and the second only works with me.
Zuko: Trust me, the second isn't one you want to find out about.
Suki: Oh? What is it?
Zuko: I'm not saying.
Suki: Why no- Oh. OOHH. I think I understand. How often do they --"
Amena: (shrugs) Pretty much every night, except when we've been in an argument or something.
Suki: And how often are you in arguments?
Zuko: Most of the time.
Amena: But it's only the REALLY bad ones that stop us from-
Suki: I GOT IT! Really, you don't need to go any farther. What makes a really bad one?
Jet: Every argument that qualifies as REALLY bad involves several things. First, I do something she thinks is stupid.
Amena: I don't THINK it's stupid. I KNOW it's stupid.
Jet: We'll argue about that later. Second, we get in a fight that usually becomes violent.
Amena: Usually meaning always.
Jet: I'm telling them what happens! Third, after we're tired and hurt, we collapse. Usually she falls on top of me.
Amena: I don't fall, I crawl over and use him as a pillow. He's quite comfortable, actually.
Jet: And by the next morning, we've completely forgotten what we were arguing about.
(silence for a few moments)
Suki: Really?
Amena: Yeah, pretty much.
Suki: That's not healthy!
Amena: Not really, no.
Katara: That's more than I ever wanted to know about you, Jet.
Jet: Well, it's not like you and Zuko are much better. I mean, you two do pretty much the same thing.
Sokka: WHAT?!
Amena and Suki: Cue overprotective older brother.
Sokka: What do you does Zuko do to you?!
Zuko and Katara: Nothing!
Sokka: You're lying!
Amena: Technically, they're not.
Sokka: 'Technically'? What does that mean?!
Amena: Zuko doesn't do anything to Katara...
Jet: (finishing Amena's sentence) ...he does things WITH Katara.
Zuko: Not helping!
Jet: Not trying!
Zuko: Sokka, it's not that big a deal!
Sokka: Yes it is!
Katara: No, it's not.
Sokka: Katara, stay out of this! It doesn't concern you, it's only about...you.
Suki: That makes no sense whatsoever.
Meanwhile, in Omashu...
Aang: They do know this is live, right?
On Ji: I think they've forgotten.
Longshot: ...
Smellerbee: Yeah, you're right.
On Ji: What did he say?
Smellerbee: Amena hasn't forgotten.
Aang: How do you do that?
Smellerbee: Do what?
Aang: Read Longshot like that.
Smellerbee: With ease. Now shush, things are getting interesting.
Back at the studio...
Sokka: I cannot believe you slept with my sister!
Katara: For the millionth time, we weren't like THAT! We were just tired and fell asleep!
Sokka: A likely story.
Katara: It's true! Zuko said it himself, and you know how terrible a liar he is!
Zuko: Hey!
Katara: Well, it's true!
Amena: (sighs) Well, this has gotten boring. Sokka, I suggest you build a bridge and get over it.
Sokka: Why?
Amena: If you DON'T, I'll lock you in a room and give you food, but not meat, for a month.
Sokka: (look of horror) You wouldn't.
Jet: Yes, yes she would.
Amena: Jet, you and Zuko get back on topic.
Jet: Why?
Amena: If you DON'T, you don't get any for a month.
Jet: That's just cruel.
Amena: Yup.
Jet: Do I get a reward if I get everyone back on topic?
Amena: If you manage to do that, then sure.
(Amena leaves)
Jet: (pumps fist in air) YES!
Suki: (buries her face in her hands) Spirits I hope no little kids are watching this.
Jet: Do Pipsqueak and The Duke count?
Suki: I'm not worried about them. I'm sure they've heard all this before.
Jet: Probably, yeah. So, what WAS the subject anyway?
(Crickets chirp in the background)
Zuko: No one remembers?
Jet: Well, if no one remembers, I'm leaving. Amena owes me...
Zuko: That's right! We were talking about OCs!
Jet: Damn you, firebender.
Zuko: Whatever.
Jet: Can we just skip to the part where we start fighting? I need to collect my dues from your sister.
Zuko: Sounds like a plan.
(Jet and Zuko start fighting; random fangirls start cheering; camera fades)
Later, at Zuko's hotel room...
Sokka: Hey Zuko. I just wanted to apolo-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SISTER?!
A/N: Just somethin' cracky I wrote in my spare time that one of my friends convinced me to publish. Constructive criticism and praise are welcomed.