A year in the life

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chapter 1 ~ the first and the last

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'Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee?

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?

Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes

How do you measure a year in the life?'



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Jess woke up from another dreamless sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he had woken up feeling refreshed, good, anything but unhappy. Sleeping in this room couldn't possibly have been good for him though. 'She slept here' was his first and last thought of every day. Sure the bed was different, and Lorelai had painted the walls and they had completely redecorated the entire room when he had moved in, but still, her essence still belonged. It was as if he could still feel her presence.

He silently got dressed and slipped out of his room, bee-lining straight for the kitchen. Coffee. He needed it. Especially today. It had been an entire year. He could hardly believe it. So much had happened. So much had changed in a year.

He had thought his life was hard. Hard. He had honestly believed that not much in his life could go worse. Then she came in. She came in and she changed everything; the way he thought, acted. His attitude. She made him feel. She made him love.

Rory Gilmore. She had given him everything he thought he could never have. And then, almost as soon as she had given it to him, she took it away. He leaned back onto a chair, thinking about her, all the memories, then he stopped, trying his best to contain the emotions that were taking over his body. Trying to control himself from shaking. Just trying to control himself. Trying as hard as he could to forget.

~*~

Lorelai could feel Luke beside her in the bed. Suddenly she remembered the date. She curled up next to her husband and started crying. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last time she would cry. Thinking about the past year she wished she could just close her eyes and erase all the memories. All the pain. She just wished that she could go back…back to when she was happier.

Back to when her daughter leaving her wasn't even a possibility. Some good had come of it. More pain then anything, but still some good. She finally had started to get along with Jess, which was a good thing considering that he lived with them.

Her and Luke. It pushed them closer together. Faster. They were already on their way, but Rory had pushed them together. She wrapped her arms around Luke tighter.

Married. She was married. It wasn't like she wasn't happy to be married, she loved it. She loved Luke. She had finally committed to something. Something that she had been waiting for for a long time.



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Luke felt her arms tighten around his waist. He heard her crying, felt her body trembling as she shook with emotion. He could sense the pain, the anger. Everything. He thought about the past year. In a way it had been one of the better years of his life. He was married to the woman that he had loved for years, and she loved him just as much.

But how could he possibly be happy after everything that had happened. All the pain, the agony that he had watched the town go through. It was too terrible. Just when things finally seemed to be going right…suddenly everything went wrong.

~*~

Jess heard the footsteps coming down the stairs. He could tell from the light plodding that it was Lorelai. Only a Gilmore could sound so graceful while purposely trying to sound depressed.

The depression wasn't forced though. It was pure. And how could it be anything but? This was one of the worst days of his life. One year before today had been the best and worst day of his entire life.

Falling. That's what he had done. His life had been as high as the sky, and within minutes he had gone crashing down to the depths of the ocean.

Lorelai entered the room quietly and quickly grabbed a cup of coffee. As much as she didn't want this day to be a reality, she had to face up to it. And she would much rather be alert then half-dead.

Luke followed quickly and as soon as he entered the room he looked directly at Jess. He looked as solemn as ever. Even worse then he had when Luke had seen him when he walked off the bus for the first time into Stars Hollow.

Jess had tried, tried really hard to forget everything he could, but it hadn't worked. He moved away, and that only left him with unanswered questions. He had burned all his bridges, but they had allowed him to cross back. It was unfair. He couldn't get the memories out of his head. So he had moved back to be with the people who loved him. The only people that loved him.

~*~

The three walked towards the center of town together. Luke and Lorelai hand in hand and Jess consumed in his own thoughts. When they reached their destination Jess pulled out a solitary white rose and placed it on the grave, a single tear running down his face. He was too upset to think about his image now. Luke let go of Lorelai's hand long enough for her to place the large bouquet of daisies in front of her daughters tombstone. Then she quickly retreated into Luke's arms

Slowly Lorelai pulled away from his embrace and ran towards the house. Luke followed her, knowing that she needed comfort. Jess stayed where he was, wiping the tear that ran down his cheek. Still overwhelmed with emotion he sat down, leaned over his knees and closed his eyes.