I know you're Alone

Authors note: loosely from "I Know You're Lonely" by Gannent but a Beast Boy Terra fic. I own nothing. I'm lucky to own the plot.

I know what I've done is wrong. I've left my best friend and true love completely alone. I wonder if it would help him if he knew I was alone too. I've always been alone though, so completely alone in the darkness without anyone's hand to hold. That doesn't make things right though; just because I know loneliness doesn't mean he should. He's beautiful but I doubt he knows it. When he looks in a mirror he just sees fangs and green skin. When I look at him I see a beautiful, caring person with deep soulful eyes. As the years passed I watched as he turned from the short and scrawny boy I once knew to the strong and six foot tall man he is today.

I wonder sometimes if I could ever go back. He visited me at my school once. I also see him as a crow near my window, watching over me to keep me safe. I always know it's him. Some people would be freaked out by this but not me, it's just Beast Boy showing over and over again how much he loves me. But just because he loves and forgives me doesn't automatically mean the others did too. I think I owe him to at least know that I remember. I'll be turning 18 in a week and I think I'll leave, just get as far away from here as possible. Tonight, when he comes to watch me, I'll tell him that I remember and I know who he is. I'll invite him in and I'll tell him the truth that I've tried so hard to keep.

I hear scratching and tapping at my window. It's a green dove. It's him. I walk over to the window and open it up. I put my hand out so that it could hop onto my finger and I can hold it. It hops on obediently, just proving that it's him. What wild dove would hop on a human's hand?

"Beast Boy, I know it's you. I've always known. I remember everything and I'm truly sorry for all the lies and the secrets. I need to talk to you, please turn human." After the words left my mouth the dove flew off my hand and landed on my bed as Beast Boy.

"Terra, I forgive you. I always have. I love you." He walks over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders and then kisses me lightly on my lips. Once he pulls away he turns to look at my room. Its light blue with a dark blue around the edges and it has glue in the dark stars on the ceiling. It's very me, very Terra.

"I love you, Beast boy. I know I left you lost and lonely and I'm sorry. I need to tell you something though. I turn 18 in a week and I'm leaving. I'm not sure where but I can't stay here. You'll get over me and find someone else. I just couldn't leave without you knowing the truth. I will always love you but I need to go and move on. I'll be going to college in the fall and I'll be leaving anyways." I said everything with tears in my eyes. He pulled me in closer to him as I rested my head on his should and cried.

After a half hour of crying and cuddling he tilted my chin up to capture my lips in the most perfect kiss of my life. This kisses continued in a more urgent matter and I leaned back against my pillows and he straddled my waist. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that this was too much too fast but I didn't care, this was just us. He continued to hold me, his hands going up and down my waist and over my breasts. The contact made me gasp against his lips. This gave him the access and courage to slip his tongue in my mouth and dance with mine. Every second that went on I could feel my control on my body getting weaker. His was gone. I felt his erection rubbing against my thin pajama bottoms. I reached down to take off his shirt, which he happily agreed to and to make it even, he took of mine too. Since I was already braless, my chest was bare and gave him the perfect opportunity to start kissing my neck and breasts. His tongue made contact with my nipple and I moaned loudly. I was very happy my adoptive parents were gone for the weekend. I wanted his lips on mine again so I'm put my hands underneath his arms and pulled him back up to my face. He looked longingly into my eyes. I knew then that I was going to lose my virginity tonight. Of course I was nervous, but it was Beast Boy, I loved him. I reached down to put my hand down his pants and I took his length to stroke him gently. All of this was purely instinct; this was the furthest I have ever gone. I had always wanted him to be my first and now he would be.

Beast boy moaned as I continued to stoke him. He soon removed my hand and took of his pants. He put my arms above my head and pulled my pants off as well. As he did this, he never once broke eye contact like he was waiting for me to stop him but I never will. Once my pants were removed he laid down so he was facing me and we were side by side. His hands were underneath my head and on my waist. I felt loved and cherished and happy. I moved my hand to start stroking him again as he moved his to be in-between my legs. His fingers were rubbing against my sex as it grew wetter and wetter. He moved the cloth of my underwear to the side to put a finger in me, but I stopped him. I only stopped him so I could pull off my panties.

His face looked shocked. He hadn't expected me to be so forward. This shocked face went away as he drew my mouth back towards his. He continued to finger me and I stroked him. Within minutes I felt him explode in my hand. I knew what I had done to him. At that moment we stopped. Just laid there, enjoying each other's company.

"I love you." He whispered and he pulled me impossibly closer to him. "Terra, angel, you don't need to go any further with me."

"I know, but I love you too, and I want you to be my first. I don't know if this is your first too, but I at least want you to be mine." I replied to him my whisper barely heard in the dark.

"It would be my first too. I couldn't imagine it with anyone else."

I felt his lips going back to mine. The ecstasy that was there before was now ten times stronger. My lips felt like they were on fire. I loved this feeling and I loved this boy. I ran my hands up and down his stomach causing him to giggle a little from the sensation. He pulled away from me when I pulled off his boxer shorts. I simply nodded so he would know that this was okay. We continued to kiss for another five minutes and then he felt hard enough. He grabbed a condom from his pants pocket and rolled it onto himself. He brought my hips down to his when he got on top of me. He was still giving me time to back out. I just leaned up and captured his lips in a kiss to tell him to go.

And he went. It hurt, a lot. It was like a thousand beating by Slade. I cried out in pain and Beast boy held me while I tried to adjust to him. He was gentle and kissed away my tears the poured from my eyes and onto my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Terra." Beast boy whispered with the obvious regret in his voice.

"It's okay. Just keep going." I answered. I felt him nod in response.

It wasn't magical until I hit an orgasm but even then it was painful. I didn't get any enjoyment out of it. I knew it was because it was my first time and that it would get better. He enjoyed himself, I could tell. Every moan vibrated my lips.

"Honey, are you okay." Beast boy asked as he hugged me close to him.

"Yeah." It was obvious that I wasn't. I was crying and he heard it in my voice.

"It'll be okay, Terra. I'm here with you. I love you."

"I love you too."

I curled into him and slept soundly until 10 the next morning. And I was glad it was summer.