A/N So this is basically me processing a lot of feelings through a Brittana fanfiction. It's been on my mind quite a long time and I think it's a good way to deal with all that shit. Based on real events with some fiction. Names, places etc. are changed. Rated M mostly for language, can't be sure about smut :) I'm no writer, I just need an outlet.

January 2011

„- Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez!"

What?! How?! I sat in the auditorium of our faculty as the professor announced the results of the last exam. It hasn't even been a year yet, I just started studying ancient history and already got the highest score on this first important examination. Me and some other girl. Crazy. University makes me to believe in myself more than school ever did. A few people sitting behind me cheered „congrats!", yeah, it was an awesome feeling.

After the announcements we all got out to the hallway and I found myself sitting on the table next to Lauren. We weren't close friends, we just knew each other from classes. I was playing on my phone when a girl came up and spoke to Lauren. When I first saw her, something caught my attention, something about her appearance. But honestly she was not of such beauty that kills you instantly but still there was something. Maybe in her aura, I don't know, I just feel that shit about people each time I first meet them, so I know we will get along well. Anyway that girl was dressed all black. Black jacket, black short skirt, not too short. Blond hair. Her smile was cute. I'd like to have that girl as my friend, I thought.

„- Who is she?" I asked Lauren, as the girl made her way downstairs.

„- Oh, you don't know her? It's Brittany Pierce, she is in her last year. One of the best in here."

Whaa.. that's the Brittany Pierce! We had the same high score. Now I was intrigued. From upstairs I watched her walk to the exit doors. It was hot, the way she moved was incredibly hot. Not the common way like the models or something like that. She was no model type, but she walked fast and confident and I thought it was sexy. Yep, I definitely have to get to know this Brittany.

The problem is, she seems so confident and I'm fucking shy and I fucking stutter very often when I speak to people. But one thing I learned in my 21-year-long life is that I eventually got closer with people I first had that weird feeling about. Crazy. So we'll at least talk someday. Patience, I have plenty of that.

Through the next months I learned that Brittany was very involved in the faculty life. She was in that one committee, was a member of this one club and what not. Apparently she was the chairwoman of the history students union countrywide or some shit. Not, that I give a fuck. I was never interested in such, I found our faculty people kinda boring, although the professors were all alright. I just knew I wasn't gonna stay here in the future.

Anyway, Brittany seemed to have a lot on her plate. We even had some classes together. I was very excited each time because I could subtly stare at her ninety minutes long. I learned that she could fall asleep very easily. I loved to listen to her presentations on given topics in the class. I liked her voice. She had a certain southern accent but tried to hide it. So fucking cute. We never spoke a word though. I didn't know what to say and if I did, then was obviously too shy to make a move. As for Brittany, I doubt she even knew I existed at that time. I guess she was and still is one of those natures who don't think too much about people they meet during the day. They just let it slip through they mind. But maybe I was wrong, I hope, I am wrong.

More months passed, I had a lot of university stuff to do, barely saw her. When I did, I always admired the way she walked. It was just so determined, geez, I don't know if one can describe it like that. Energetic. Yes, it was energetic. So sexy. I've never seen her wearing pants. Always skirts. Her colors were black and green, or some shade of red. Yeah, I wanna be her friend. Or maybe a little bit more... I often saw her talking to some professors or other important people of the faculty. Yeah, that girl was aiming big.

October 2012

My second year. Brittany's first year of her master's. We had a class together again and I was already looking forward to it the most during the whole week. Moreover, this class only had like five students and fucking two professors, they taught it together. I didn't like either of them that much. That class was not going so well for me. That year was really rough because I changed my minor and took some extra classes in ancient languages. I had to do a presentation about some ancient silver plate and it was a disaster. I wasn't myself. So embarrassing and even worse because Brittany sat right next to me. Bad memories. I tried not to imagine what she must have thought of me in this moment. Fuck.

In December the two professors suggested that on the last class of the calendar year we all go to have a drink. I knew I could make it and was glad about it. Right before the start of this last meeting some students and me were waiting for it in the hallway. Brittany came up and asked, if any of us would go for a drink with the teachers. She actually looked into my eyes. Her eyes were blue.. not really sure. They were beautiful. I was like „nah, don't have time, am busy". Yeah, dumb-ass. Turned out, she was the only one willing to go for a drink. A little nerdy here, babe. Jeez. I noticed, it was important to her to always be in contact with all the profs, to make good impression, to be seen.