Nami sat on the ship deck, lounging in a chair. She wasn t doing anything in particular; today definitely just felt like a lazy day at sea. Nothing exiting or dangerous was going on, for once, and she planned on enjoying it while it lasted. The sun was warm, and the wind felt wonderful as it played with her hair and gently caressed her skin. It felt absolutely wonderful. In fact, the only way it could have felt any better was if
She sighed. She was confused and disturbed at where her thoughts were running lately. It unnerved her that he was popping up all over her mind at random. And even worse, was how her body reacted to the thought of him. Her heartbeat quickened, a smile would always sneak across her face, and she would be temporarily lost in a private mental reverie.
However, just as quickly as it would arrive, she would shove it away in hopes that it would never return. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, these strange feelings would not leave her alone. His face kept slipping in and out of her mind. The warm sun reminded her of his warm smile. The warm gentle breezes made her think of his kind and gentle soul. Lately everything in the world reminded her of his everything.
She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth in a grimace. Why the hell would such a thick headed, na ve, childish, simple minded boy be doing this to her? Perhaps it was all this time at sea, leaving her alone in her thoughts for far too long. She simply could not accept the possibility that she might actually have feelings for such a dunce. But which side of this argument was truth? The intruding thoughts of a silly captain? Or her harsh dismissal of such thoughts? Why did the human mind and the human heart have to be so complicated? Nami was glad she had never studied psychology; it probably would have driven her insane.
Nami! came a familiar voice, jolting her from her thoughts.
Speaking of insane she muttered under her breath.
The haphazard captain s head was now directly in front of her face, at the end of his elongated neck. The rest of him was still a few feet away, but was catching up fast. Nami wondered silently if the mind and heart of a rubber man were any less confusing than those of her own plain flesh and blood.
What d ya say Nami? Luffy asked with that childish innocence of his.
Nothing. What are you doing here? Do you need something? she said curtly, trying her best to sound annoyed.
Naw, I just came to see what you were up to. he answered as his body caught up to his head with a snap. Everyone else is being boring.
Oh really. Lucky me. Nami wearily replied, regaining her composure after the shock of the sudden manifestation of her thoughts appearing right in front of her face. Well I m being boring too, so you might as well find something else to amuse yourself with. She said as she swung her legs over the side of the deck chair as she sat up. I m going to my room. Do not disturb me.
She couldn t deal with his actual presence right now; she couldn t even deal with the very thought of him. She needed to be alone, to try and sort this out once and for all. Before it drove her crazy and she got the entire ship lost because she wasn t paying proper attention to anything other than her own thoughts. She could hear Luffy sigh in the background as she stormed off, and there was a momentary pain in her heart. Even if she had been a little harsh, she needed to be alone. Now.
As she arrived at her room, her thoughts began to spill over. She shut the door behind her quickly, leaning against it as it closed, sliding to the floor. She wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them close to her, resting her face in her arms. She didn t want to have these thoughts. She didn t need them. All they do and ever will do is cause problems.
Sitting in her mind, unresolved, these problems were a constant distraction, and left her flawless composure vulnerable and weak. However, sorting them out was problematic, because she very well might have to face the reality of her own feelings for a certain rubber man and that would be even more trouble.
Nami got up slowly and walked across the room, collapsing onto her bed. She stared vacantly around her familiar room, wondering why people s minds and hearts didn t have maps like the earth and sea did. She closed her eyes and lay still, trying to figure herself out
A knock came at the door, snapping her out of her trance. She sighed wearily, and put on an angry appearance to answer whoever was at the door.
WHAT IS IT? CAN T A GIRL GET ANY PEACE AROUND HERE? the navigator yelled as she threw the door open to reveal none other than the straw hat menace himself.
Yo! was all Luffy said as he laughed nervously at the abrupt greeting.
What do you want??? I told you to leave me alone! Nami barked out in anger, frustration, and exhaustion.
I thought you might be lonely. came the matter of fact statement from his usual goofy face.
Caught off guard by this sudden turn of events, she quickly turned around and sat down angrily on her bed. I m not lonely, I m fine, and I don t need anyone s company, so please leave.
As usual, he ignored her request and sat down beside her. You ve just been spending a lotta time by yourself lately, so I wanted to make sure you were ok. He said in a suddenly more serious voice.
She looked at him surprised by the sudden change in tone, and saw the clear concern on his face. Her heart ached. Suddenly all she wanted was to feel him. To feel his hands touch her like the warm gentle breeze outside. To look into his expressive eyes, and feel the touch of his lips pressed against hers.
As if he read her mind, he leaned in closer to her. I know your lonely. I can help.
Nami was speechless as his face closed in on hers in slow motion. Her own face moved toward his, rushing to meet it, to taste what her entire body was yearning for. And as their lips met
She awoke suddenly breathing heavily, sweat beading on her forehead. Immediately she relaxed. It was just a stupid dream. She put a hand to her forehead, regaining her composure and her senses. After a few minuets, she got up and went over to her desk, slumping in the chair. She put her head in her hands, and sat defeated amongst paper and ink.
Stupid dream or no, it was pretty obvious what was going on inside of her now. But what could she do? There was no way this could end well. If she could even muster up the nerve to actually share these thoughts with Luffy, she couldn t even imagine how that would go.
He could be so dense; there was a strong likely hood that after working up the nerve to say what she wanted, he wouldn t understand what she was trying to say, and she d end up having to go over it multiple times, knowing that each time she re- explained herself, her composure would crumble more and more.
Then on the off chance he did understand, what were the odds of him actually being happy with such confessions? She just couldn t picture a romantic Luffy except for that dream but that was still only a dream. She had never, in all their time together, ever seen Luffy act like that with a women. He certainly was no heart eyed Sanji.
But she was getting side tracked. If he rejected her, she d look, and feel, like an absolute fool. Things would be awkward, being together pretty much all the time, and such ridiculous circumstances could have an effect on their journey.
Even on the other hand there were problems. If he did accept her feelings, how would that change the crew? The rest of them would surely treat them differently Sanji would be a mess, and who knows what would go wrong if the cook flaked out. Regardless of anything else Sanji was, he was an excellent cook who kept everyone healthy.
Things with the crew in general would change this display of affection was an obvious hole in her perfect facade. What would they think of her? Group cohesiveness in situations like these was crucial. Could she really risk everything they had worked for simply to vent these feelings?
She slammed her hands down on the desk as she shot up, overturning her chair with a thud.
No.
There was too much at stake for her to blow it with her ridiculous feelings.
But she needed some kind of relief, or she would surely drive herself crazy.
She decided to write.
She righted her chair, and sat down slowly. Nami took a deep breath, and put a new sheet of paper in front of her. She collected her thoughts for a few moments, and began to write. Write what she had thought about. About her feelings. About how they wouldn t work. About how they were a risk. About everything changing.
And then, finally, she wrote about him. About Luffy. Everything she loved and cherished about him. His goofy smile. His zeal for life. His passion for his mission. His compassion for his crew. The list went on, and she soon had several pages written. It was the most personal thing she had ever transcribed. Hell, she hadn t used this pen for anything other than drawing up maps for as long as she could remember.
She finished, and gave a heavy sigh. At least it had helped somewhat. As much as confessed feeling going un-confessed could be helped. But where would she put it? If anyone here stumbled upon it, she would be mortified. To them, these feelings would be so totally unlike her. Especially considering who they were for.
She decided that the only one who could keep her secret was the sea.
She took more paper and with it fashioned an envelope, stuffing the contents of her emptied soul inside of it. She would throw it into the never ending waters she lived upon, allowing them to turn her heartfelt feelings into nothingness. In the back of her mind she hoped that her real feelings would disappear along with them in the unforgiving sea.
The task completed, she stuffed the envelope inside her shirt, and went to see what everyone was up to. She left her room, trying to act as normal as possible. Sanji was in the kitchen, whipping up the next meal, Zoro was asleep on deck, and everyone else was no where in sight.
Perfect.
She could ditch this thing here and now. Nami walked to the side of the ship, watching the waves pound the side of the vessel. Taking a deep breath, she removed the envelope from its hiding place, and threw it overboard. She watched it dance in the air as the wind picked up, sending it careening towards the bow of the ship. Even better. The very vessel she now called home could run it to pieces and drown it forever into the dark water. From the depths of her soul, to the depths of the sea.
She turned her back to the ocean, and once again took up her deck chair. She thought she heard a noise as she sat down, but heard nothing else. She was probably just jumpy. She closed her eyes, and let sleep take her. At least she could be honest with herself in her dreams.
She was back in that place. Back where Luffy was by her side. Where he understood her feelings. Where she could indulge in him. The feel of his lips pressed against hers felt so real
She could still feel those warm, soft, gentle lips. She was no longer sleeping. Nami s eyes shot open and she pushed Luffy away in shock, speechless. Dumbfounded, all she could do was look at him. And as she looked at him, she noticed something crumpled in his hand.
She had seen that paper before.
Her eyes widened in disbelief, and tears began to well up inside them as she covered her gaping mouth with her hands.
How did you
I was doing like you said; I found something else to do. I was hanging upside-down from the front of the ship, because I was bored. Then this thing he gestured to his hand, the one holding the contents of Nami s soul. hit me in the face. I didn t know what it was, so I read it.
I it you see she stammered, floundering for something. Anything.
It s ok now. You don t have to be lonely anymore. said Luffy, simplifying everything down to its core, as usual.
He leaned in and returned his lips to hers, as if he knew how much they ached to feel them again. And suddenly, like magic, she didn t care what happened now. She didn t care how things would change, or what anyone would think of her. All she had ever wanted was here for her right now.
A gift from the unforgiving sea.