"What do you mean you don't love me anymore, Natsu?" it felt as if my heart was pierced with thousands of arrows as I uttered those words. I clenched my fist and placed it over my aching heart.
"Natsu! Answer me!" I raised my voice and lifted my eyes off the ground to face the man I truly loved. The person whom I thought would be my pillar of support until the very end. The man whom I thought would be my loyal companion through my exciting adventures. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I stared him with tender eyes, hoping he was just pulling one of his mean tricks on me.
"Lucy, my feelings for her is still strong. And now that she's back, I.. I can't help myself. I can't control these feelings Lucy. I have always loved her even before I met you and the feeling is still embedded in my heart," Natsu averted his gaze away from mine as he uttered those hurtful words. It was as if he could hear my heart being shattered to pieces.
"Natsu! She is your past and I am your present and please, let me stay in your future. Don't your remember? You promise that we would always be together, you promise that we would embark on more adventures together!" my legs gave away as I convinced him to stay. I slumped weakly on the ground – crushed and beaten in the inside. Teardrops trickled down my chin and dripped onto the ground. I could feel the warmth of my tears as it strolled down my cheeks. Only if the same warmth could reach Natsu's cold empty stare.
"Lucy, please don't make it harder for both of us. I admit it, I am guilty and I know I hurt your deeply but I can't control these feelings. I.. I love her. I have been in love with her since the last 15 years. Lucy. I am truly sorry," Natsu whispered slowly.
"CUT IT OUT! I don't want to hear those words, Natsu! Not from the man I love!" I cupped my ears and shook my head in disbelief. Now I even doubted as to whether you actually knew the definition of love. I mustered the courage to lift my head and face Natsu.
"I love you, Natsu. Please don't do this to me. I don't have anyone but you. I have lost my family, I have lost everything but I can still hold on because I have you by my side. If you choose to leave me and go to Lisanna, what should I do? What would be left of me?" To be honest, I could not imagine my life without him by my side. At the same time, I felt disgusted at my weakness. I detested the fact that I was afraid the idea of solitude and being unloved by him. Why do I have to be so weak? Do I really have to be loved to survive this world? I gritted my teeth as these questions flooded my brain.
Logically speaking, I was capable to survive without depending on anyone – especially Natsu – but my heart was to weak to accept it. My heart longed to be loved by Natsu and my greediness wanted to make him absolutely mine. Was I being punished for my selfish desires? Did I deserve to be punished like this? I looked at Natsu who was standing tall before me.
His spiky unkempt pink salmon hair was blown away by the wind. His rock hard solid abs was in plain view. The usual white chequered scarf was neatly wrapped around his neck. Natsu body posture was stiff and unmoving.
"Don't you ever want to give us both a chance?" I whispered, waiting for his response. Natsu, however, chose to keep quiet and averted his gaze from my tear-stained face. His silence was deafening and his negative response was enough to deliver his unspoken answer. With shaking legs, I pulled myself up, gathering the courage and dignity that I had left. I wiped the tears off my face and faked a half-hearted laugh. Natsu observed me silently with his intense eyes. I carved a forced smile.
"It's fine Natsu. You don't have to justify yourself. I don't want to further place you in a difficult position. If that's what you wish for, I understand," I turned my body away from Natsu and slowly began making my way. Just when I was about to take the first step, Natsu grabbed my arm.
"Forgive me, Lucy. Please live happily. Even without me, please don't stop living your life to the fullest," Natsu whispered. I bit my lip and tears rolled down my cheek. I closed my eyes, swallowing the flood of emotions.
"Just how cruel can you be, Natsu?" I pulled my arms away from his grip and started to make my way. The fallen brown leaves crunched beneath my shoes as I strode further away from Natsu. I thought the gloomy fall season would mark the end of our story but unbeknownst to me, this was just the beginning of the heartbreaking chapter of our love story.
It had been 3 months since the incident. At this stage, our lives resumed as usual although the awkward silence between Natsu and me still lingered in the atmosphere. I acknowledged that he had tried his best to avoid contact with me by dragging Lisanna and Happy along for missions (even embarking on the non-sensical ones)
It would be a lie if I told people that my heart no longer ached; in fact whenever I witnessed Lisanna and Natsu laughing together whilst holding hands, a part of me slowly died inside.
I had grown accustomed to the feeling of sharp pain piercing through my heart whenever I heard both of them discussing about their future plans. However, my defensive mechanism had urged me to play along rather than running away from them. Otherwise, it would only show my weakness and vulnerability and I did want my guild mates to further sympathise me over what had happened between me and Natsu. Really, I was just being egoistical.
Deep down, however, I was still madly in love with that man. It did not matter how many pieces my heart was shattered everytime I saw him smiling widely beside Lisanna; the fact that he was happy mattered the most to me. Even if it was at the expense of my own happiness.
Somehow, today felt different. My gut instinct told me as if something might happen. Part of me felt different; as if I was about to part with my guildmates for a very long stretch of time. I shook my head at the absurdity of the thoughts. For one, I never intended to leave the guild, even after what had happened. Secondly, I did not foresee any danger that could have happened as long as I stayed in the guild and near my guildmates. Afterall, we were the strongest wizard guild in Fiore and no one would dare to step inside the guild looking for trouble. That would be suicidal. After reasoning with my logical self, I huffed a sigh of relief; although still feeling a tad bit annoyed at the persistent tug of uneasiness at the bottom of my heart.
I smiled at the sight of Gajeel bickering with Levy. I have always adored the somewhat mismatched couple. Who would have thought the bookworm Levy would fall head over heels with the scruffy and rough Iron Dragon Slayer, who seems to not have the slightest idea on how to treat a woman? I stifled a laugh at the sight of Juvia desperately vying for Gray's attention. That persistent woman just did not know the definition of 'giving up' but I admired her perseverance. Erza was silently enjoying her strawberry cheesecake. Deep down, I was pretty sure she must be squealing in delight whilst savouring the creamy cheesecake. I carved a smile at that particular thought. This truly felt like home and I was currently at peace. I truly was.
"Don't be silly, knob-head. Everything is just going to be alright," I tried to convince myself and took a sip of my drink.
I was halfway through finishing my drinks when the guild's main door was opened with a loud bang. The whole guild went silent; Levy's bickering with Gajeel stopped, Erza immediately stood up from her seat and Cana stopped her drinking. The atmosphere was brought to a standstill. Lisanna was standing before our eyes, her dress was covered in fresh blood. A deep gash ran down her cheeks. She looked like she had just been attacked by a grizzly bear. I took a sharp breath when I realised Natsu was nowhere to be seen with her.
"Lisanna! What happened?" Mira-jane was the first one to break the silence and she ran towards Lisanna, who was already slumped weakly on the doorway. She looked like she was struggling to breathe, probably because she had ran all the way here to ask help.
"Everyone, please help Natsu! Please! We were attacked on our way back to the guild." Lisanna sobbed. "The enemies are so strong, that even Natsu had trouble holding them back." Lisanna shook Mira-jane's body, clearly in desperation. I had never seen the sweet Lisanna lost her composure like this. Is this what my gut instinct had been trying to tell me since the start? that I would lose Natsu to the enemies? I shook the negative thoughts out of my head.
"We.. we tried to attack it together. However, none of our attacks managed to cripple them! Natsu asked me to run to the guild and ask for back-up. And I... I... I left him! I am afraid that he would be killed!" Lisanna sobbed. I could clearly see her pained expression; she must be feeling as if she had betrayed Natsu and left him alone to die. However, I perfectly understood this situation from Natsu's perspective.
He, on the other hand, deliberately asked her to leave him so he could protect her in his own way. I felt a pang of jealousy of their own devotion to each other. They clearly loved each other and I suddenly felt as if I was just an interference in their love story.
I shook my head; feeling disgusted at my own selfish thoughts during this critical time.
"It's okay Lisanna, it's not your fault. We know Natsu is trying his best to protect you," Mira-jane consoled Lisanna, who was sobbing fervently in her arms.
"BACK-UP TEAM, READY! Let's go and save Natsu!" without wasting time, Erza barked orders and the guild launched into motion. It happened in a blur, Lisanna was carried into the infirmary and Erza laid down the map on the table, pin-pointing the place where Natsu was presumed to be, according to the information given by Lisanna. Within 5 minutes, a perfect tactical strategy was devised and I was not part of the plan. Maybe Erza felt I would not be able to handle this mission professionally after what had happened between Natsu and me 3 months ago. I gritted my teeth at that thought.
Just when Erza rolled back the map, I interrupted. "Erza, I want to be part of this mission," I raised my voice. I felt the whole guild went still but I could feel the swarm of thoughts in their heads. It was awkwardly deafening. Erza looked hesitant for a few moments. However, my unwavering gaze seemed to convince her to change her mind.
"Lucy, you will go with Gray and Juvia. Gray, brief her the plan on our way to the forest. Remember Lucy, don't go overboard and just stick to what you are told to do by Gray. Nothing more, nothing less, is that understood?" Erza's stern voice finally broke the silence. I nodded my head; determined to show her that I could be reliable and of use to save Natsu; and that I would not be swayed with emotions during the mission. I had faith in my capability because I am Lucy Heartfilia.
However, I was dead wrong. The start of the long heartbreaking story between me and Natsu was finally set into motion on that day. If only I chose to stay... it would definitely save Natsu and the people around me the heartbreak. If only I was not egoistical to prove my worth and capabilites to my guildmates. If only I did not let the emotions took over me.
When we arrived at the scene, I stifled a gasp. Natsu was lying weakly before us. I had never seen him broken like this. In my eyes, he had always been invincible and unbreakable. Upon seeing us, Natsu managed to carve a weak smile.
"Thank God. At least, I know Lisanna had made it back to the guild safe and sound," he said it, despite having difficulty with breathing. I bit my lips to stop the tears from falling. At that time, I did not know what actually hurt more : witnessing how deep was his love for Lisanna or the fact that he was currently lying there; broken, battered and bloody yet still had Lisanna in his thoughts. All these times, I am nothing to you then, Natsu?
"Everyone, don't let your guard down! The enemy is still in front of us!" Erza shouted and it brought me back to reality. I averted my gaze off Natsu to face the enemies before us. The two figures before me were cloaked with black hoodie. Although their faces and expressions were not visible, we could feel the strong magic which eminated from their presence.
"Who are these stupid fools? I am surprised you could not even take down these goth ," Gray sneered at Natsu.
"Shut it ice-boy! I can't wait for you to have a taste of their medicine," Natsu shouted back. I shook my head. Some things just never changed between Gray and Natsu. I was even more surprised that Natsu could gather enough energy to retort back to Gray even in his critical condition. What did I ever see in this empty-brained person?
"Oh, I can't wait to let these goth have the taste of my own medicine alright!" Gray shouted and without wasting any time, he directed his ice attacks towards the two figures whow were still standing still before them.
I could have sworn that I managed to hear a snicker coming from one of the mystery figures, followed by a small 'tched', as if annoyed by a small buzzing bug. The taller figure raised his palm and Gray's incoming ice was stopped mid-air. Just a swift movement of his palm, he managed to redirect the incoming ice back to our direction. It happened so fast that we did not have the time to escape the incoming attack. It hit us just like raining bullets, the sharp ice pierced through our skin just like sharp knife blades. I let out an agonised cry.
Damn, the taller figure could manipulate magic just by using small hand movements! The person did not even flich at the incoming attack. My gaze averted to the slightly smaller figure, who was still standing still.
Erza charged forward in full-speed with her sword. Again, the taller figure just had raise his palm to suspend Erza's motion. I was shaking uncontrollably when I witnessed Erza was suspended mid-air. At this point, I know we were not dealing with ordinary enemies. It was clear that we would not be able to escape unscathed after this. I was also sure that it would take more than magic and determination to bring them down.
Gray and Juvia charged forward and the smaller figure stepped forward and conjured a big black sphere and directed it towards Juvia and Gray. In no time, they were caught inside the black sphere and I could see them shouting in agony. I gulped. Just who the hell are these two people?
I fished out my keys, thinking of summoning Leo. However, the taller figure was quick to detect my movement and just by using his hands, he motioned for the keys in my hands. I stared with wide eyes as I saw the keys were flung towards them. I started to shiver and thousands of negative throughts ran through my head. My confidence was shattered.
"Forgive us for not introducing ourselves from the very beginning," the taller figure stepped forward. His masculine voice caught us off-guard. He took off the black hoodie.
"I am Adrian and this is my comrade, Kishrina," he gestured towards the smaller figure. Kishrina just 'tched' at Adrian's introduction; unbothered to take off her hoodie to show her face to us.
I watched Adrian intently; his unkempt short black hair was rustled by the wind. His big green eyes stared at us mischievously; as if knowing that he was dominating us at this moment. I could have sworn I witnessed a faint glint of playfulness and satisfaction in his green eyes. He moved forward, approaching Natsu who was still lying helplessly on the ground. My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat.
" We mean no harm but you weak friend here has our prized possession," Adrian towered over Natsu. "And we are just here to have it back. However, your stubborn friend would rather die rather than giving it back to us," Adrian's tone was downright malicious. He stepped onto Natsu's wounded arm and deliberately exerted pressure on the gaping wound. Natsu wrtithed in pain.
"Stop it! Don't hurt him anymore!" I shouted those words instinctively.
I glanced my surroundings. Erza was still suspended mid-air whilst Gray and Juvia were still writhing in pain in the black sphere. It seemed the black sphere was able to manipulate their thoughts and broke down their mental resistance. In short, it was a ruthless torture device conjured by magic.
Think Lucy! Think! What would the others do in this situation? One thing for sure, I am not going to give up easily, not before the likes of them!
"Stop it, Adrian! Just how low can you get? Torturing your victims who no longer have the power and energy to fight?" I shouted. Adrian snickered and tore away his gaze from Natsu to face me.
"What a brave young lady we have here. But let me tell you, no one dares to mess with us," Adrian smirked and continued to exert pressure on Natsu's wounds. This time, he deliberately aimed for the lecerations on his right legs. I winced when I saw blood oozing out from Natsu's wound. I have to stop this. I have to. I could not stand Natsu being treated inhumanely.
"Just who are you? And what do you want exactly?" I challenged, pretending not to be unwavered by Adrian's malicious gaze.
"Lucy, don't give him what he wants!" Natsu managed to shout through gritted teeth. I deliberately ignored his words and chose not to respond to it. At this critical stage, I could only talk my out of this situation to save my comrades using my wit. Our magic and capabilites were clearly out of their league.
"Stop waffling, Adrian. Just tell us what are you actually after. I am sure we can negotiate and bargain this like adults, right?" I forced a sweet smile to Adrian. Adrian laughed half-heartedly.
"I thought you were just another dumb blonde. Turns out you are used to talking your way out of difficult situations, eh?" Adrian smirked and stepped away from Natsu. I saw Natsu heaving a sigh of relief. Adrian slowly made his way towards me. In no time, we were facing each other. It immediately struck me how extremely good-looking Adrian was, his full-lips and piercing gaze resembled that of Enrique Iglesias, an inconic pop-star who I used to adore during my teenage years.
"Don't try to play smart with me. I bet you don't even know what prized treasure are we even talking about here, don't you?" Adrian carved a dazzling smile, showing a set of straight teeth. Damn, this dude could definitely pass as a runaway model!
"To be honest, I don't know but I know Natsu too well to know where he may hide your prized treasure," I answered confidently.
"Oh, are you both lover? Or former lovers? Because I have seen how adamant your pink-haired friend that you know'too well' are protecting the petite girl. You know, the one with grayish white hair?" Adrian dramatically heaved a sigh. I rolled my eyes.
"And why are you so adamant to know about my personal life? I believe it has nothing to do with the topic of our discussion," I challenged Adrian. He broke into a laugther.
"I am starting to like you, blondie! You are very... courageous and... voluptous as well," Adrian eyed me with his naughty eyes. I blushed two shades of red.
"Why, thank you for the compliment, Mr sadistic pervert," I retorted with an attitude. Silently praying that I would not be crushed to pieces because of my daring attitude.
"Save your breath and don't even bother to thank me because you would not be once I kill you, blondie," Adrian smirked. I sighed dramatically.
"Of course, if you were to kill me, you would not be able to recover this. I believe this is what you are looking for, am I right?" I showed him the orange sphere to Adrian. His eyes widened.
"You, why you!" Adrain started to lose his composure. "Give it to us!" Adrian tried to snatch it away from my hands, but I was quick to hide it away from him.
"Let my friends go or I will break this orange sphere before your eyes, I am sure you and Krishina do not want it to happen, am I right?" I challenged Adrian.
I recalled the conversation that I had with Lisanna before I took off from the guild to save Natsu.
"Lucy, take this with you. The enemies only desire to have this orange sphere that they are willing to kill just to get this. I trust you that you would decide what's the best for our comrades. When the time is right, I trust you to decide what to do with this orange spehere in order to save our friends," Lisanna handed me the orange sphere with shaking hands. "It pains me to give this orange sphere to you, but the enemies are not the ordinary wizards! Something about them is different from the rest of us," Lisanna uttered those words with difficultly. I could see that she was gathering the energy that she could muster in her weak condition. I extended my hand to reach for the orange sphere in her hand.
"Anything for our comrades. Leave it to me and please have your rest, Lisanna," a wave of determination swept over me. Lisanna carved a weak smile.
"I'm sorry, Lucy. You are a good person, do you know that?"
My mind snapped back to reality. Adrian was standing before me with piercing eyes, as if he was ready to pounce on me anytime from now. However, he chose not to do so because he feared that he would cause unintended damage to his prized possession, which was currently in my sweaty grip.
I smirked smugly towards Adrian. Behind Adrian, I could see that Krishina was stepping forward.
"Adrian, don't be stupid! Move over and let me obliterate this trash-talking blondie!" Krishina was conjuring a massive black sphere before us, which crackled with ominous lighting. It was even bigger than the one which she had used against Gray and Juvia.
"Stop it, Krish! You are aware what will happen if the orange sphere is damaged, right?" Adrian shouted, never peeling his gaze away from mine. I stared back at him, refusing to back down from this mental fight.
"Let my friends go, then I will give this to you. It seems you don't want this orange sphere to be damaged but I am not hesistant to throw this to the ground! Let me repeat, let my comrades go then I will give this to you, I promise!" I raised my voice, hoping that it would be able to convince Adrian and Krishina.
My determination seemed to swerve Adrian's confidence because I could see Erza was finally able to move her body, albeit slightly. She was slowly breaking through from being suspended mid-air. I almost heaved a sigh of relief but to do so would arouse Adrian's suspicion. Instead, I chose to keep a straight face. It happened so fast, when Erza broke free, she immediately launched an attack against Krishina since she was closer to Erza. Her attacked caught Krishina off-guared and the black sphere which she previously conjured using her hands slipped out of her control and was thrown across the field. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that it was directly heading towards Natsu. At this rate, the black sphere would definitely hit him; and he would not be able to escape the impact in time because of his injuries.
Without thinking, I instinctively lurched forward towards Natsu. After that, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I stood before Natsu, with arms wide open, ready to shield him from the incoming attack. At that time, I felt as if I had nothing to lose by protecting the man who I truly loved. Someone might call it suicidal and Aquarius would definitely call me stupid for willing to die for the man who did not even love me.
I don't care. to die for the one you love is not dying in vain.
"I am sorry Natsu, I am sorry everyone," it was the last words which I managed to utter when the black sphere hit me squarely. The pain was beyond words, I felt as if every inch of my body was disintegrating upon the impact. The orange sphere which was in my grasp was thrown to the groud and it broke into half.
"Lucy! No! Move over, Lucy!" I heard Natsu's desperate cries behind me. However, everyone knew it was too late. The damage had been done and it could not be undone.
I closed my eyes, taking in the pain with me and slowly felt myself descending into dark abyss. If this is the end, I am truly happy to die for Natsu, who has risked his life several times to save me since we have first met. Knowing this, I carved a smile for the last time and embraced the pitch darkness before me. I felt as if I had done enough in this life. Tears rolled down my eyes; at that point I was not sure whether it was because of regret or pain. One thing for sure, I silently wished that if there was an after life, I prayed that I would not love this man as much as I did during this present life. I wished hard that this life would be the very last time that I would my heart, body and soul would be broken like this.
"I love you Natsu. I really do," I managed to whisper for the last time before the darkness completely engulfed me. Death, I hereby welcome you with open arms.
Once the blinding light from the explosion ceased, Natsu stared the open air in disbelief. His body was shaking uncontrollably. Erza slumped weakly on the ground while Juvia was sobbing uncontrollably in Gray's arms.
"Lucy... Lucy..." Natsu broke down in tears. His mind was still unable to accept that Lucy had gone without traces. Lucy had died whilst trying to save him. Memories between him and Lucy suddenly flooded his mind; her kind smile and her sweet gesture were etched onto Natsu's mind. It felt like an eternal punishment for breaking her heart, for deliberately placing her in painful situations by openly parading his happiness with Lisanna.
He felt the pain which shot through his heart. He tried to stand up but to no avail. Natsu slumped on the ground, gasping for air. He was numb. For the first time in years, he felt the same emotions when Igneel left him. The excruciating, mind-numbing and crippling emotion which left him lost for words.
"LUCY!" his scream sliced through the still forest. On that day, the members of fairy tail mourned the death of Lucy Heartfilia; a sweet girl who had sacrificed her life for the man she truly loved.
On the same day, Natsu realised how foolish he was to let go Lucy and how stupid he was to finally acknowledge his true feelings to her. All this time, it had always been Lucy and not Lisanna. He was just too coward to break Lisanna's heart and to tell her the truth that his feelings for her had been over. Instead, he chose to hurt Lucy rather than hurting Lisanna. He felt it would be easier for all of them. He should have confronted his true feelings before it was too late. Now that Lucy was gone, disintegrated without a trace, it was too late for Natsu to mend what had been broken. He was shattered into pieces, just like the day he shattered Lucy's heart when he chose Lisanna over her.
Tears rolled down his cheeks. At that time, he was too caught up with emotions that Natsu did not realise that a mark with the shape of dragon slowly appered on his arm, just below his fairytail mark. Legends call it the 'soul-mate' mark, which only appeared if two persons are deeply connected with each other. Now, legends would just remain as legends. Lucy had gone without a trace and Natsu had lost his new-found soulmate.
Far away from the grieving fairy tail members, a faint heartbeat was slowly heard. A new life was...re-awakened.