A/N: This is a VERY late birthday present for the lovely mushi0131 . I am so sorry for the delay, but I hope you like it. It's angsty fluff, one of the best combinations ;)
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the read. It's the first fanfic I've written in a while (please be kind haha). If you want to check my other accounts it's all on my blog.
Song inspiration: White Blood – Oh Wonder
-x-
Said you'd always be my white blood
Circulate the right love
Giving me your white blood
I need you right here with me.
-x-
Warm yellow and gold heughs submerged her apartment dying her writing parchment apricot, she had been writing all day. The setting sun told her it was time for a coffee break. Aching knuckles and sharp shots of pain meant she would pay for her productivity later. A heated shower before bed may ease the muscle tension. Humming merrily, Lucy flicked the coffee machine on before leaning her weight on the counter.
Hairs standing on the edge, goose-bumps travelled up her arms and Lucy instinctively tucked her chin inwards folding her arms. It was unusual for her apartment to be chilly, one reason being the log warmer being kept on during cold winter months. The other reason being a certain fire dragon who heightened the temperature just being in his vicinity.
During the summer it drove her to the brink of insanity, but Lucy couldn't bring herself to turn him away. Chuckling to herself and how soft she was when it came to Natsu, beeping signalling much needed caffeine broke her thoughts.
Pouring the hot liquid into a mug, a smile graced her lips recalling his disappointed look this morning when she said she had to pass on a quest. It was a rare occurrence, their time together on duo missions never failed to fill her need for adventure. Plus, she appreciated the alone time with her best friend. It reminded her of old times where it was the two of them.
A lifetime had passed since she bumped into Natsu and joined the guild. At least it felt like that considering the thought of life before her family was a foreign existence now. The guild was all she needed.
Or at least that's what she kept telling herself recently. Seeing Gray happy and in love with Juvia made her want the same. Each time she pictured the future a family of her own always entered her psyche. A family that required a significant other and the man who stood by her side wasn't a faceless stranger.
He sported a youthful toothy smile, an absolute sense of self that never ceased to amaze her, and warm hand that would be rubbing her arms right now. A man who would be berating her for being "a weirdo who doesn't light a fire" when she needs it.
The rattling door latch alerted her to a visitor, expecting the clank of Erza's armour as she turned to face her scarlet haired comrade. Instead, candyfloss locks and moss eyes met her own, shoulders curled inward, a foreign atmosphere surrounding her wayward partner.
Dark splatters marred his bronze skin, dim lighting making it hard to decipher between dirt or dried blood. Knowing Natsu it was probably both, bloody fistfights weren't uncommon. His temper being notorious across Fiore, said explosions were a frequent article in Sorcerer's Weekly.
"Natsu at least have a bath before you fumigate my apartment with your stench." She said, tone teasing. Banter usually got a smirk, however this time his knuckles turned white, his fingers clenching down so hard she knew his nails were close to drawing blood.
Standing awkwardly, Lucy found herself at an impasse, conflicting ways to proceed flitting across her mind. Natsu wasn't the easiest to deal with in his rare serious moods. Contrary to the popular assumption, the dragon slayer could be hard to read at times.
Glazed over eyes studies her face, a blank look she hated seeing. It made her feel like a stranger with her own best friend. The same look he always adopted when putting up emotional barriers between them. A familiar pressure bubbled in her gut, the ache of missing him, the guild, her mother, and father. Blinking rapidly to stop the pricking tears, her teeth grit together.
Why did he always have such an effect on her?
Why didn't he experience the same thing?
Maybe…it was her imagination. Thinking there was something more between them than teammates.
"Lucy." It's difficult to look him in the eye. Natsu's sure tone calling her name evoking a sad longing, a feeling that pulled her gut urging her to action.
Footsteps following his voice, dirty sandals appeared almost brushing her boots. Warm, sticky skin touching her forehead. Lucy couldn't bring herself to show her usual disgust at his sweaty state. Instead, she allowed his arm to hook her waist, a large hand cupped her neck, melding them until all she could see, and the smell was Natsu Dragneel. The scent of pine, fallen leaves, campfire and juniper. He smelt of the wilderness Igneel raised him to thrive in.
Closing her eyes, she felt her hairband being tugged, blond tresses falling to be caught by searching digits. Warm breath tickled her ear, his jaw resting on her temple as he inhaled, nose buried in golden locks. Each breath accompanied a tremor she felt travelling down his frame, his hand massaging the flesh of her hip. His fingers caressing, soothing…desperate in their search.
"Natsu?" She asked, muffled by her mouth being pressed into his jugular.
"I missed you."
Hooking her by the waist he pulled her flush against his chest, diaphragm fluttering with each breath. Heat permeated through her shirt, calming and familiar.
Home.
Muscles going slack, Lucy felt herself instinctively leaning into him. It is second nature to seek his touch. Natsu, naturally action over words man, always communicated his true feelings with his body. At the guild she watched him, she couldn't help her eyes tracking his movements, logging his behaviour. She knew when a day got on top of him, see past the strong exterior.
He loved his family.
The guild.
Natsu wouldn't let anything trouble them if he could prevent it. That included his own feelings. Pranks and jokes became a mask temporarily. A mask only Happy and herself could see.
Natsu's bad days didn't occur often but they corresponded to significant events. Igneel's death the primary anniversary she would wake up to Natsu plastered to her side in the morning. He alternated between ruminating by himself and attaching himself to her hip. An ongoing routine she didn't mind conceding too, after all, …what are friends for?
However, that event had passed this year, so his current behaviour was an anomaly.
Trembling fingers tickled her temple. Feeling hot breaths on her brow, she tilted her head up to find turbulent moss eyes. Seeing the emotion swirl, an unfamiliar determination surfacing as she leant forward bumping their noses. Natsu released along labouring breath and his head dropped. Their foreheads meeting in a gentle caress.
A touch Lucy could only describe with a cliché, a sensation akin to wildfire scorched her nerves. Leaving her heart heavy and mind cloudy. The millimetre distance between their lips didn't help the process of regaining brain functionality.
"I remembered." Natsu murmured, a statement with the steely surety he adopted during battle. His face giving nothing away, she felt the lack of space between them as he pressed forward. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she allowed him to hold her wait. Heat burning her cheeks as she processed the intimate hug.
"I remembered…" Lips brushing lightly, Lucy almost missed the action. Too absorbed with the man's intensity, "…losing you."
Tears pooling as her mind retrieved flashbacks of the war. Heart pounding as her own worst fears clawing at her chest.
Terror at the thought of never seeing him again. How she barely registered the pain as she collapsed under her own weight. The real pain is the soul breaking grief. She had made it through a year, she knew she would see him soon. But to lose him forever? She wouldn't get over that. A grief that would follow her, as it did with her parents. Natsu case differing because deep down, Lucy realised he's the love of her life.
Their relationship pirouetted between friends and lovers. Never certain on whether they had crossed the line, but most days they behaved like a couple. Guys certainly gave her a wide berth when she went out with the girls, not because Natsu scared them off intentionally.
The thought of incurring the wrath of the salamander was a deterrent – the fiery, painful variety. Not that she minded, she wasn't interested in dating anyone else. Feeling as though she was pining for him didn't do wonders for her pride. Womanly instinct told her had feelings for her, but Natsu who would fight armies for her turned chicken shit when it came to confessing.
Close proximity, butterflies swarming her gut said their dance was about to evolve from a sweet waltz to a passionate rumba. Running her fingers through Sakura strands, loving the silky feeling avoiding the clumped locks. A smile grew on her lips as she thought of him using her shampoo.
He really didn't care about frivolous things like male and female scents. He told her wearing her scent calmed him when he went on long journeys without her. It though was sweet but the thought of him not washing for long periods of time is disgusting. As long as he didn't do it on long missions with her then it was Gray's problem.
"I understand." A quiet whisper on hip lips, low because the lump in her throat and pounding pulse prevented anything louder. His sensitive ears having no problem, a large hand cupped her jaw his thumb tracing her bottom lip. Natsu always could read her like a book, and the way his eyes appeared to see her soul disconcerted her. It wasn't fair he could hold his cards to his chest and she felt like putty in his hand with one tender action.
"Sorry I made you wait." Natsu didn't apologise. His voice didn't crack.
He didn't kiss her.
Reality contradicted that, the feeling of cracked lips enveloping hers confirmed it. Tentatively he dotted small kisses on her lip, his scent dazing her, gentle touches causing small tremors. Lucy barely processing her feelings, focused on how her skin sizzled as he moved along her jaw. His fingers massaged her neck, chasing away tension. She worried too much, and he knew it. Finding herself level with his ear, she found the words.
"You're worth it." She said, tracing his pulse with her finger.
"You're the star that guides me." Following his lifeblood, it too flowed to the home she treasured.
-x-
I'm ready to hope, swing me out of the low
Wide awake in the glow, can't do it alone
I'm ready to fly, uncover the light
Impossible heights