Daydreams

The love of a hit man is such a fickle thing. Samantha should know. Or should she? Travel Agent Samantha McCall has been planning trips for everyone and everything except for her own life, until now. When she steals the plans for Jason Morgan's next job as her personal vacation, her one true act of rebellion, she gets so much more than she bargained for. As Jason has to secure other means to secure his contract and to get to the woman he's falling for in time...can they face their fears together?

For the purpose of this story, Sam never knew her parents, they died when she was very young and was raised in foster care. She moved to Port Charles about four years ago and befriended Lulu and Maxie as they all shared an apartment trying to make ends meet. Now they are all best friends and Lulu and Maxie work for Crimson while Sam is running her own profitable travel agency catering to most of the Business executives and mob affiliates in Port Charles.

White Balloons

Not again...God. Sam closed her eyes as she steadied herself on the back office wall, kicking the door closed behind her. She panted in breath after breath, stilling herself as much as possible as she prayed that it passed. It had to pass. It would pass. She swallowed bile against each labored breath and finally felt strength returning to her limbs as the nausea died down to something manageable.

Sam made it to the bathroom and flipped the lone overhead on her pale face assaulting her sight from the mirror. She looked away as she pulled her backpack from her shoulder, letting it slip from her side into the floor as she quickly turned the water on, splashing a handful of cold against her face. She'd thought that the symptoms from her chemo had died down enough to come into work. She couldn't just let the business flop.

She liked to believe that Jenny was right and she was going to live a long and fruitful life. It was the reason that her hospital mate had left her the place. Jenny Donally had a successful travel agency with an established client base. That is until she ended up with a rare form of aggressive Leukemia. Jenny and Sam had been room mates at General Hospital, both requesting no visitors as they didn't want to worry any of their friends and neither of them had any family.

They'd hit it off trading stories of what they'd told their friends about where they'd been during the last two months of therapy...

"The Bahamas with an old boyfriend." Sam lay on her right side facing Jenny as Jenny lay on her left facing her. "We're staying in the Sapphire suite of The Cove Atlantis."

"No way." Jenny had smiled brighter than any other time Sam had seen her. "You already told them?" She asked in awe so absolutely elated.

"I did. I called yesterday." Sam smirked, now really curious as to what Jenny had told her friends. "Why where did you say you were?"

"You will not believe this but I told Carly that I got a great deal on a trip to the Bahamas. She thinks me and my old college roommate are in the penthouse at the Reef in Atlantis."

A fit of laughter filled the room until they were both too winded to laugh anymore and even then they spoke through stifled bouts. "So does that mean we're not lying if we say we met on vacation?" Sam asked and they both had to fight another round of laughter.

Sam came away from the memory of their meeting and fast friendship as they weathered one hell of an ordeal together. Sam looked into the mirror and swallowed tightly, frowning. The difference was Sam made it out alive and Jenny didn't.

Sam couldn't move a moment as she looked back at herself trying to remind herself that it was alright to feel this angry at the very idea. She'd been through the counseling in her early years. She knew what survivors guilt was. Two months of leaning on each other and Sam was still shocked to find that Jenny had left her the travel agency that they had talked so much about. Four months later and an exam that had her licensed and here Sam was, ready to reopen the place.

"I'm supposed to be coming home from Atlantis in a few days and I have to find away to explain my absence." Sam sighed as she flipped through one of Jenny's travel magazines, both of them going through extremes of wrapping themselves up like Eskimos and shedding the blankets in a clammy sweat. Sam was in an unwrapped state.

"I was thinking that you and me teamed up with a travel writer who wanted to take us to Machu Picchu. He has an expense account and can afford it. It's the chance of a life time. We just couldn't pass it up, plus it gives us a chance to explain how we know each so well when we get back," Jenny was in the wrapped stage as she peered out from the hood of her blanket to Sam.

"Where is that?" Sam had read a lot about travel when she was growing up, wishing she was so many places but where she was but she had never heard of Machu Picchu, at least not that she could remember at length. It sounded like some ruins, but she couldn't remember which ones.

"It's in Peru. You hike in from Cuzco." Jenny explained excitedly as they shifted, Jenny coming unwrapped as Sam caught a chill and quickly began to wrap herself up. "It's high in the Andes, the lost city of the Inca. I always said I would go one day." She smiled sadly.

"Sounds perfect." Sam shivered out as she realized the dream Jenny felt was slipping through her grasp. "And you'll go. Don't give up on that. We're going to get out of here and get stronger and you'll go."

"I wish I had your faith." Jenny chuckled.

Sam wiped at a stray tear, shaking herself when she heard the bell on the front door jingle. God. She needed to get a grip. She wasn't helping herself or Jenny's memory by wallowing in their past. Still how could she help but not, this was her first day taking over the office. Sam should have realized all those months ago that Jenny was practically grooming her to run the place.

Sam gave herself a glance over with a heavy sigh and finally pushed herself to head out into the reception area. "Sorry I'm still getting used to the place." She said her eyes on her feet as she skirted the desk and chairs finally looking up a few feet away from her newest client. Sam froze, eyes widening like a deer caught in the beam of high powered head lights as her gaze fell on the stunningly handsome man that graced her reception area.

Mahogony met blue skies and she was lost in his eyes in a heart beat. It seemed they were both lost for words for the longest moment until he shook it off first, with a cough and a break in eye contact that had Sam regaining her composure. "Sorry, like I said...new...I'm Sam, Sam McCall. You must be my 9 o'clock, Mr. Morgan?" She asked as she offered her hand.

"Nice to meet you. I am." He nodded with a brief shake of hands. "I have to say I was a little reluctant to come after..." He looked away uncomfortably. "Jenny's passing. I trusted her."

Sam acknowledged his slim show of emotion with the compassion that was already welling up inside her. He cared about Jenny and while he was trying to remain professional about it, it was easy for Sam to see. "Jenny had a way of helping put anyone at ease." Sam said softly, catching a hint of surprise in his eyes when he looked back.

"You were the one that was in Peru with her?" Jason shifted awkwardly.

"I was. We left the Bahamas together with a travel writer's entourage." She knew the story by heart. It had given them peace when it seemed there could be none, escaping to the exotic locales while they suffered their treatments.

"She was a very kind soul. I hope you do her justice taking over the business." Jason motioned them to sit at the nearby desk and Sam thankfully sank in her seat, needing the support. "I have to say everyone was surprised that she left it to you."

"I know it has to be a shock." Sam nodded. "We became very close over the two months we spent together." Sam assured him. "I was shocked to find out that she left me the place, myself. I promise you I plan to do everything that I can to honor her memory while running this business that I know meant so much to her."

That seemed to put him at ease and so he got down to business. It seemed a welcome relief to both of them. "I need a one way ticket to Paris with the return from Cape Town five days later. I'll need bookings for hotels on the following nights in the following cities and the stipulation for selection are as follows..."

And oh what a detailed list he had. Nothing to flashy. Has to be on a main street. Located in Downtown. The list went on and on and the cars, he needed something economical in Paris and something sporty in Cairo. Oh it was interesting and by the time he was finished Sam was in awe of the level of detail that he needed and the lack of information as to why he needed it.

The way Jenny talked, people loved to talk about their plans, at least most people. Not Mr. Morgan. He seemed more interested with whether she could make it happen and then coordinate with his assistant, Damien Spinelli to make sure that his trip went off without a single hitch...

All and all Sam's first case was a doozy, but well worth it. Jason, as she came to know him, helped reestablish her as the go to girl for travel in Port Charles and thus began a beautiful friendship.

It wasn't all roses though.

Lying to Maxie and Lulu was getting harder face to face. They wanted to hear so much more about the trips. Sam had the details. She had every little one, but with each one came a memory of suffering and heartache as she and Jenny struggled through their hardships together. And then there was Carly. Carly Corinthos was Jenny's best friend and she was the only one that knew Sam's secret.

Apparently, Jenny was worried about Carly trying to snoop into the story, so she sat down and wrote her a letter, explaining what really happened and who Sam was, where she was and what she had done for her. Sam felt she was given too much credit, but Carly didn't. So she gained a new friend, one that was a little over the top at first, but fiercely protective as though Sam was her surrogate friend, her last connection to Jenny.

It took three long years for the business to finally feel as if it was her own...three years of treatment and blossoming friendships. Three years of solidifying her life in Port Charles. And finally three years of remission from her illness...

Three years later...

"Book him on the next flight out of Austin, Tx." Sam called to her new assistant, Kristina Davis who was trying to move out on her own and thus begged for the job. Sam couldn't turn her away, not really. Carly had asked her to hire her as personal favor and Sam didn't ask why. Carly owed her. Sam turned back to her phone call as she got a nod from Kristina who set to work on the computer to make it happen. "You'll be home in time for your son's recital, Mr. Hart, not a worry in sight." She promised him as she looked to Kristina waiting for a thumbs up to signify that she wasn't lying.

She smiled brightly when she finally got it and gave a reciprocal thumbs up in immediate praise as well as a mouthed 'Thank you.' "It's all set up you're flight leaves in..." Sam widened her eyes expectantly as Kristina, glad that the girl was a quick study. Kristina held up two fingers. "Two hours." Sam finished. "It's no problem, Sir. Have a wonderful flight home." Sam hung up and whirled with praise on her lips, that never quite made it to Kristina's ears as the door flew open, bell heralding a frantic customer.

Sam whirled back around in time to see Spinelli looking ready to come unglued. "What's wrong?" Sam asked in an instant.

"I've got a last minute trip to coordinate and I have so many other things to get done, I can't possibly work on it. Do you think you can do it?"

"Sure. Is it for Jason?" Sam asked as she reached for the folder that Spinelli had in his hand.

"It is. And I need it done, yesterday." Spinelli looked so relieved that Sam couldn't help but smile as she returned the hug that he gave her in appreciation. "He leaves in two days and I need everything perfect. I don't know anyone who does perfect quite like you." Spinelli kissed her cheek and pulled back.

Sam's smile grew. To say that she knew what Jason did would be a lie, but she had an idea. A person didn't book trips for someone over three years and not catch on. At least not if they were clever. Sam still didn't judge – She knew Jason personally and he wasn't a bad man, so whatever his profession was, whatever it was that he did. He was still the good guy.

"I've got it covered, Spinelli. Go get what else you have to done." Sam soothed him. "Call me in the morning for the details and we'll work everything out." She promised him.

"Thank you, you're a goddess." Spinelli professed before he bolted from the office to head next door, where he and Jason had relocated their offices.

"Wow." Kristina said over a barrage of typing after Spinelli hurried out the door. "He's a little high strung. I mean I'd heard that, but...wow."

"Oh yeah." Sam nodded as she headed back to her office to take care of Jason's itinerary personally. "Let me know when you have Mr. Hart's confirmation package done and I need you to see about getting Mr. Zacchara on a plane to Cuzco day after tomorrow."

Sam paused in the hallway just before her office as she heard a stifled squeal.

"Johnny's surprising Lulu in Cuzco isn't he?" Kristine stuck her head around the corner looking hopeful for the scoop.

"He is." Sam couldn't disappoint her. "So..."

"Mum's the word." Kristina replied as she hurried to make it happen.

Sam sank into her seat with a tired sigh, opening the folder that she'd received from Spinelli. She knew that Jason split the travel arranging between her and Spinelli, more so recently. It was his way of avoiding her. And she couldn't blame him. They had been courting more than a friendship for months and it finally led to a night of blind passion.

The next day Sam was lambasted with guilt, worried because she had an upcoming appointment and she was terrified that her remission status would change. She didn't want to put anyone through watching her suffer. Luckily she wasn't the only one that pulled away. It made her feel less guilty. She didn't have to let him down, because he did it to her first.

He had a simple explanation, one that didn't warrant much detail and she didn't press. He said that his job wasn't conducive for relationships. And, well, it seemed that her life wasn't. So it worked out perfectly.

So why was there an ache in her chest?

Sam hadn't been denying her feelings so much as she had been remiss to allow herself to have them. She knew she cared about him and if she thought about it or let herself indulge much more she could say that it was more than care, but then she really couldn't...How could she possibly justify leading him on when she could be sick again any time.

She didn't want to hurt him.

And obviously he didn't want to hurt her so the feeling was mutual. They were just not compatible.

"How did it go?" Sam looked up completely at a loss that she hadn't heard the bell or noticed that Carly was now easing herself into the seat across from her desk.

"Fine as far as I can tell." Sam knew she was asking about her check up. The one that she'd had last week, the one that made her doubt any chance at a relationship with Jason. "I'm still waiting on test results."

"When do you get them?" Carly asked, truly concerned.

"Tomorrow at the soonest." Sam tried to feign stoicism as she flipped through the file as though she as too busy to have this conversation with Carly, but Carly saw right past it and called her on it.

"No you don't." Carly spoke up worriedly. "Sam, I know you're scared that the remission isn't going to last and piling yourself high with work isn't going to make that fear go away. You haven't said the first thing about it and it's time to talk."

"Carly." Sam protested.

"Don't...you need a night out, you need to talk, you need to let the work go for a moment." Carly cautioned her.

Sam stilled silently, taking a breath in the moment before she looked back to her friend. "You're right and I promise that tomorrow night we can go out and take that moment, and I'll talk, but I want to finish these last minute plans for now."

"Alright, but when I get my baby sitters all straightened out and I come to collect you tomorrow, I better not hear a word in protest." Carly warned her.

"You have my word, I'll be here and ready to go." She promised her.

"Good. We'll make it a girls night." Carly finally looked happy and Sam couldn't help but smile as Carly slid her hand across the table and grasped her own in hers. "Everything is going to work out, Sam."

Sam squeezed Carly's hand, secretly glad that her secret was shared by at least one person. "I know." She gave her a watery smile though, betraying her doubt.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

" I'm holding on to white balloons up against a sky of doom, tell me you see them...cause what's inside of me is invisible to most, even in clear view...I'm sending out a signal to the possibility of you, cause right at this moment...I know you're connected to a part of me that I don't even know myself...the changes in me are likely to be like the weather...stormy and clear, strength into fear bound together..."

Sam came into the office with the express idea of doing exactly what she promised Carly. She'd secured Jason's week long trip to South America, a tour of Peru – it seemed. And she had everything else all ready for her to go out that night, to talk about her worries and why she was so scared to open up to those around her.

She didn't mean to let her down. But something happened when she got the call from the hospital. As if her instincts had known before she did, she found out that she was no longer in remission.

They wanted her in the next week to work on a treatment plan.

"And I'll break my silence if I believe that you and me can ever be more than what's been behind us...I tried to laugh, that came and went... I got rejected out again...but no one believes me...I've worn a hundred faces of the character replacements and now...nobody sees me..."

Something broke inside of Sam. She looked to the airline tickets on her desk that she was supposed to give to Spinelli that morning and for the life of her...all she could think of was how Jenny wanted to see Machu Picchu before she died.

Sam's own mortality was weighing so heavily and she just, she just wanted something...anything...Maybe living out someone else's dream before her possible demise over a routine bout of harsh treatment could help preserve her, because she didn't know how to do another go at this without Jenny there to help her daydream her way through it...

"The changes in me are likely to be like the weather...cloudy at best...Angels, lift me...are you with me...I'm holding onto you like I'm holding onto white balloons...carry me away...I hope that you don't break..."

Sam had gotten her passport as soon as she wasn't ashamed of her reflection upon remission and now she held the little folded blue pass in her hands, tickets in the other, only a carry on and what little savings she'd managed to save from the successful business that She inherited.

Whatever Jason had to do in Peru could be resolved with someone booking him another flight and hotels. She might not have the time though. Sam could justify it that way. At least she thought so...maybe she wasn't in her right mind, but she had to do this. She had to do it now.

She couldn't put it off another day...

"Angels, lift me...are you with me...I'm holding onto you like I'm holding onto white balloons...carry me away...I hope that you don't break...I hope that you don't break..."

Sam stared out the window of the plane, watching the clouds as they passed through them, her mind still in shock from the news...her mind flashing back to her time with Jenny. It was time that she did this. Before she didn't have any time left. She owed her friend that much. She had promised herself that she would take this trip because Jenny couldn't and she wasn't going to let her illness stop that...

"Don't break..."

Last song " White balloons." by Sick Puppies