I know this is a bit late in relation to the release of the final chapter, but I forgot about it then found it again, so whatever. Also, the story was a quick one when I wrote it, so it might not be that great. At least it gets the point across and has some good jokes. Plus my little theory thing at the end to make up for some things.
Ichigo stared at the script, blinking in bafflement. He squirmed, readjusting his Shihakusho as he sat at the low coffee table in Urahara's "meeting room", and reread the papers. "What the hell?!"
The orange haired teen slammed down the stack of papers, the top sheet bearing the title "686 - Death and Strawberry". The teen grumbled a flurry of swear words under his breath, running a hand through his bright orange hair in exasperation and confusion. He kept glancing between the papers and the coffee table, paying that he'd suddenly developed dyslexia and had misread the script.
"Oi. Watcha moaning about?" Ichigo looked up to see Zangetsu, the hollowfied white one, seated to his left with a look of amusement on his psychotic alabaster face. The teen scowled, but knew what the Zanpakuto spirit was probably just as irritated, if not more.
"It's the last chapter. It's just kinda… anti-climactic." The orangette huffed, staring down at the script in defeat, the two swords on his back and hip feeling heavier than usual. Zangetsu nodded in agreement.
"The old man's pouting in yer inner world. We can't figure out whatever the hell happened to us since Yhwach sucked us out like some kinda vacuum of doom." The albino crossed his arms as a thoughtful frown crossed his pale face, golden eyes glimmering with thought. "Yanno, I'm pretty sure I'm still with ya, being the Shinigami part and all, but I'm not entirely sure if I'm still hollow after the whole vacuum god thing. Wonder if I look any different without the hollowness…"
The porcelain spirit mumbled the last part as his train of thought began to stray. Meanwhile, Ichigo's eyes went wide with realization and worry. "Wait, is he okay? If I don't have any Quincy powers, then does that mean he's… gone?"
The teen stared at the white Zangetsu questioningly, but the pale spirit shrugged helplessly. "Like I said, he's pouting right now. Wouldn't be surprised if he's turned into Tensa just so he could be even more emo."
Suddenly, the screen door burst open and a growling Grimmjow trudged in before plopping down at the table, across from the orange haired teen. The former Espada glared at the stack of papers sitting oh so innocently on the table.
"You read it?" The bluenette grumbled with his arms crossed in annoyance. Ichigo nodded in response while Zangetsu merely grinned. "Oh, yer MIA just like half the cast artcha? Kinda surprising considering yer a fan favorite."
The albino wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, earning a snort from the two other occupants in the room. "Any of you wanna spar?"
Grimmjow asked gruffly with a hint of hope, but the two look-alikes shook their heads. "Maybe later." Ichigo spoke, looking downcast as he returned to staring at the stack of papers containing the end of the Universe as he knew it.
"Why don'tcha ask someone to take ya to Seireitei? I hear Kenpachi's throwing a tantrum cuz he didn't get to fight anyone when he showed up in the last chapter '685 - The Perfect End'... Pfft, perfect my ass. Sounds sarcastic. Wouldn't be surprised if it is." Zangetsu laughed at the end. The arrancar, on the other hand, seemed thoughtful as he considered the suggestion before turning to the Hollowfied Zanpakuto spirit.
"Who do I ask to take me there? And don't you dare say Urahara. I've had enough of that bastard and his 'contracts'. I swear, he's worse than Szayel and that damn Ulquiorra combined." The albino dramatically laced a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "Of course not! I'd ne~ver send you to that horrible man. You know I care about you. Just look at all the fanfictions with the three of us making out in an epic threesome!"
Both Grimmjow and Ichigo choked, blushing furiously and scooting away from the psychotic Zanpakuto, who simply sat there as he laughed his ass off in his watery double-toned voice. The orange haired teen coughed, composing himself before he spoke up, ignoring his giggling Zanpakuto spirit. "Why don't you ask Renji? He probably wouldn't mind."
"I wouldn't mind what?" On cue, the sliding door opened as the tattooed redhead strolled into the room, crimson hair braided due to his appearance in the second to last chapter. The sixth division lieutenant was accompanied by Rukia, who was wearing her new captain's haori with her long hair trailing down her slim back.
"Well! Looks like somebody got tired of being mistaken for a bloody pineapple!" Zangetsu cackled, earning groans and eyerolls of annoyance. Grimmjow snorted before turning to the tattooed Shinigami, who looked ready to explode. "Can ya take me to Seireitei? I need an opponent and these two are no go's."
Unfortunately, both Shinigami shook their heads. "Seireitei and the kurosaki Clinic are both off limits to everyone except for those cast in the scenes set there. So, you'll have to wait until after the final chapter is recorded." Rukia explained before turning to Ichigo.
"Speaking of which, you need to get changed and head to the hairdresser to get your new haircut." The teen grumbled under his breath as he looked away. This caused Zangetsu to burst into yet another round of laughter. "What's the matter King? Were ya hoping to get into the midgets pants instead of the princess's?"
Ichigo felt his face burning multi-shades of red as embarrassment flooded his senses as he came at a loss for words while Rukia looked shocked with her violet eyes wide and jaw practically on the floor, but the albino continued. "Or maybe ya really are gay and don't wanna be with a girl? Is that why yer always holding back on me? Am I just too smexy for ya, King?"
The pale duplicate leered, only to receive a ferocious punch to the face by his embarrassed wielder. Renji and Grimmjow snickered at the albino's misfortune, as he laid curled on his side and clutching his throbbing nose, while Rukia rolled her eyes over the boys' childish antics. The new thirteenth division quickly turned back to the paper screen door and briskly walked out as she called over her shoulder. "Hurry up. You need to get in place for the chapter."
Once again, Ichigo grumbled under his breath, reluctant to leave the room to get the timeskip makeover. He'd already seen the other's makeover, but was confused as to why Uryu decided to be a doctor instead of a clothes designer when he'd had such a large passion about sewing. Same goes for Chad who's now a professional wrestler, despite the fact he was against fighting unless absolutely necessary. At the same time, the orangette wasn't sure about having a life married to Orihime along with a kid. Although, he had to admit that Kazui doesn't seem so bad… as well as being a completely new enigma with his apparent ability to one-shot Yhwach's remaining reiatsu. Suddenly, he remembered what he heard about the reactions of people who read the spoilers and immediately face-planted into the coffee table.
"Now what?" The orangette looked up to see Renji, who'd sat down between him and Grimmjow, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. The substitute Shinigami sighed in exasperation. "The Ichiruki fans are so pissed. I don't really mind about the pairing that became canon, but people are just taking it too far with the hate and death threats to Kubo-kami."
Renji snorted in response. "No kidding. Some of them have already started burning their books. Completely ignoring the story just because of a simple pairing."
Ichigo shook his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation. Zangetsu, having recovered from getting punched, patted the teen's back in comfort as he grinned mischievously. "No worries! At least they won't bitch about ya being gay!"
For that, the albino received a vicious elbow to the spleen. The other two occupants in the room sweat dropped at the twin's exchange as Zangetsu once again curled on his side to clutch his injured body part while Ichigo sat with his arms crossed and a growl rumbling in his throat. A minute passed and the orange haired teen finally stood up, approaching the door.
"I guess I better get this over with. At least there's still fanfiction that can appeal to unsatisfied readers." With that, he left.
END
... meh...
(I know this isn't the place for theories, but I'm obsessed with it. So just consider it an extra long Author's note)
ICHIGO'S BANKAI
THEORY:
Ichigo's Bankai. I think I've figured out. You know how Zangetsu translates to "slaying moon"? Well, I think the Bankai is based on the phases of the moon and Quincy Zangetsu's seal on Ichigo's power. The form that the sword takes with a connected chain and a white edge on both sides of the blade is the full moon phase, meaning there is a completed seal that continues to hold back a large chunk of Ichigo's Bankai power. When it get's shattered to reveal a sword with only one side with a white edge, it is the half moon phase, meaning that half of the seal was removed granting Ichiro more power and a semi transition into transcendence, which could help to explain how he was finally able to hit Yhwach even though he'd already missed the opening that Uryu gave him. If the battle were to continue, I think that eventually, that blade would also shatter to reveal a smaller and completely black blade for the final phase, new moon, while also granting complete transcendence into a higher being. Like Dangai Ichigo. Also, since both Zangetsu's put their faith into Ichigo and allowed him full power in the fight with Aizen, granting him transcendence before he used Mugetsu, the Dangai Ichigo sword could be the final form of his true Bankai (Got the Dangai Ichigo idea from Jaymes Hanson's video "Top 10 Bankai's in Bleach" over on Youtube). As for why Yhwach was able to slice his full moon phase without activating the second stage, it might be possible that Yhwach sliced the blade as it was transitioning from Shikai to Bankai and once the Bankai was actually fully transitioned, the sword was already broken, but Yhwach simply plucked the pre-broken tip in order to show that it is in fact broken before Ichigo could try to attack in vain.
Also, since Mugetsu means moonless sky, then it might also mean the existence of the moon is wiped out since Mugetsu is an all or nothing attack that results in the loss of Ichigo's powers. So the moon itself represent the existence of the power while the phases show how much of that power is released. It's almost like mugetsu is simply grabbing that moon and hurling it at the enemy and obliterating both. On the plus side, the gravity of the moon will slowly collect and merge the shattered bits of the moon and eventually reform again over time. That could explain how Urahara was able to figure out how to return Ichigo's powers by simply speeding up that process.
For those who may be wondering about the whole transcendence thing when it's roughly estimated that Ichigo gets as strong as his Dangai form after his Soul Palace training, you have to remember that transcendence is a state of being and not solely based on the amount of reiatsu someone has although it is connected. Like in the scene with Kirio explaining the purpose of her food, she only mentions adding on to their power level. Plus, when Ichigo arrives at the battle after the training period, people could still sense Ichigo's reiatsu, meaning that he isn't in a transcendent form and is still bound by the laws of the universe. The indication of transcendence is when someone's reiatsu can't be sensed at all, which Ichigo is lacking even if he is physically as strong, if not stronger, than his Dangai form.
(SIDE NOTE:) Think of power level as water, you can have an entire ocean, but you can't transcend into a higher form (in this case, gas a.k.a. water vapor.) without a special addition (in this case heat). Ichigo's state of being a hybrid grants him that special extra needed, once used properly.
As for why Ichigo's Shikai is completely black unlike his Bankai blade, it could be an indication that it's power isn't being held back like his Bankai. Another thing to remember is that Shikais and Bankais can follow alternate rules (like Toshiro's Bankai which has a timer set before full power and growth spurt is allowed.) so Ichigo's Bankai's restriction feature doesn't necessarily apply to the Shikai as well.
(Just FYI, but I've been posting this theory in a couple places on YouTube, and by couple I mean one, just in case you happen to find this theory in a comments section. Then again, people might be spreading the word. That or it's just wishful think... please forgive my meaningless ramblings.)
This theory still has a couple holes in it, so if you find anything that doesn't quite add up, then feel free to let me know... I guess that's all I wanted to say. Oh well, back to my other fics.