"I know we're super human, but we're still human," Tony complained, trying to rub the tightness out of his legs. They had been going nonstop for weeks now, fighting super villains, stopping world ending plots, and doing the good that no one else would do. Tony was starting to realize why no else wanted this gig. There was no time off, no paid vacation, not even complimentary spa passes.
"Some of us," Thor said, casting a dismissive glance over at Tony.
Tony stuck his tongue out at him. "I don't think it's much to ask for. All I want is one day to laze about in the hot tub, catch up on my reading, maybe even take a nap. I wonder if I could convince Fury to give us a day off."
"Fury is not the man to convince," Loki said, appearing in the Avenger's living room, holding his hands up to show that he had come in peace.
"How did you get in here?" Tony asked, looking extremely put out that his security measures had failed so drastically.
"They're here to protect you from threats."
Tony crossed his arms over his chest, a habit he'd picked up from Steve. "You are a threat."
"Your computer doesn't think so," Loki said, smirking and dropping down into an armchair like he owned the place. Tony made a mental note to disassemble JARVIS later. How had he let Loki inside the Tower?
"Apparently my computer isn't as smart as I designed it to be."
"A flaw in the designer surely, not the computer."
Loki smiled brightly at the scorching glare Tony sent his way.
"Do you have a purpose here, brother?" Thor asked, knowing that his plan to bring Loki back to the side of peace would not be achieved if Loki provoked Tony into trying to kill him.
"Besides putting Stark's ego in check?" Loki said laughing briefly before turning to Thor, completely serious. "You and yours desire a respite from your duties. I can provide you with it."
"I would appreciate it," Thor said, bowing his head solemnly.
"What?" Tony cried. "No! Thor, what are you doing? This could be a trap."
Thor shook his head like one much put upon. Loki wriggled in his chair like a delighted child.
"Have you learned nothing about my brother? He always gets his way. The sooner you give in, the less he asks of you."
Loki smirked, and this seemed suspiciously like a challenge to Tony, and Tony Stark never backed down from a challenge.
"Loki is claiming that he can keep everyone off our backs for one day to let us relax and you just believe him? Do you realize that he's known by many as the god of lies?"
"Did someone say relax?" Natasha asked, wandering into the living room. She looked over at Loki, reclining in Tony's favorite chair, and sat down on the couch across from Tony and Thor.
"Loki has made us a generous offer," Thor said, proud to be telling his teammates of something good Loki had done for once. "He will guarantee us a day free of trouble where we will have peace in the universe."
"Universal peace?" Bruce asked, wandering in. "I'll believe it when I see it."
"Is no one else concerned that Loki is casually sitting in our living room?" Tony asked.
"You seem to be doing enough worrying for all of us," Clint said, pausing in the doorway to the living room. "Hey Steve, you might want to get in here before your boyfriend suffers from lack of attention."
"Oh, Loki," Steve said, smiling at the god as Clint plopped down onto the couch between Natasha and Bruce. Natasha gave Clint a critical look.
"What?" Clint asked. "I heard day off. That means no sneaky spy shit, right?"
"We don't have the day off, yet," Thor said. "I accepted his offer but Tony refused."
"You what?" everyone demanded and Tony found himself on the receiving end of more attention than even he wanted.
"I still maintain that this is a trick," he said as Steve sat down next to him.
"No tricks," Loki said. "Only treats." He grinned looking more like a four year old boy than a super villain intent on world domination, and Tony could feel Steve's sigh next to him.
"Not you too," Tony said. "You're supposed to be on my side."
"I don't think it's a trick," Steve said, running a soothing hand down Tony's leg, "and we could all use a day off. If Loki's lonely and wants someone to play with then I don't see why we should say no."
"Lonely?" Tony asked, frowning at the smirking god before turning back to Steve who had his 'it's a helpless little puppy I have to rescue it' look on his face. Tony groaned and dropped his head to hands. He vowed that the next time they met Loki on the battlefield he was going to kill him, Thor's promise of vengeance be damned. "Fine, let's have a day off."
Loki tsked, his eyes lit up with mischief. "You had your opportunity to accept, and you said no. You don't get to demand things from me."
"You want me to ask you for a day off?" Tony asked, unable to believe that this was happening.
Loki scoffed like Tony was an idiot. "Of course not. I want Steve to ask me."
Tony had opened his mouth tell Loki to fuck off when the god's words registered. He wanted Steve to ask? Tony realized his play now. He could've sucked it up and asked Loki for help for the team, but he couldn't sit back and watch Steve, his Steve, take orders from Loki.
"You bastard," Tony said, wishing he had a suit handy. Now seemed like a really good time to blast the god into a different universe. Let him try and steal other people's boyfriends for a while.
"You will not insult my brother's parentage in front of me!" Thor said, leaping to his feet, reaching his hand out like he was going to summon Mjolnir.
Loki looked completely crushed for a moment as he was reminded who he was, and Natasha said goodbye to her plans of getting a mani/pedi with Pepper.
"I want you to help us," Steve said, his voice breaking through the tension, and everyone in the room slowly turned to him, but he had eyes only for Loki. "Please."
Loki's smirked settled back into place and he turned to Tony, daring him to say something. Steve's hand tightened on Tony's leg, a warning to keep his mouth shut and not ruin anything. Tony waved his hand, realizing he no longer had any control over the situation.
"Oh yay," Loki said, clapping his hands together. "Let's play."
Tony frowned, wondering what the hell was wrong with Loki, and if maybe Steve had been onto something when he said Loki was lonely.
They wasted a half-hour of their time arguing over what to do with their day. They had called Coulson in as a professional consultant, because he knew all about team activities and games, and he had looked at them like he couldn't believe he was a government agent being asked to pick a game for the Earth's superheroes to play.
He flipped through his team-play manual nonetheless, throwing out option after option, only for each to get shot down. Clint thought Steve had an unfair advantage in Pictionary, and Bruce was afraid Thor would summon Mjolnir and wreck the tower if they tried to play charades. Taboo was out of the question because Loki, Thor, and Steve wouldn't be able to understand it, and Tony refused to play anything that couldn't be made into a drinking game.
Coulson sighed going back to his book. "What about Twister?"
"Twister works," Clint said, beginning to stretch, his shirt riding up. He caught Coulson staring and winked.
Coulson dropped his gaze back to his binder. "Anyone have any objections?"
"I'm only playing if you take a shot every time you fall," Tony said.
"I'm only playing if I get to spin," Loki said.
Coulson looked over at Loki, eyebrows raised. "You really do have control issues, don't you?"
Loki smirked and conjured the mat and the spinner. He flicked the black piece of plastic with his finger. "Right hand on blue."
All of the Avengers and Coulson scrambled to find a blue dot and Loki settled back into his arm chair. It wasn't quite as fancy as a throne, but it was certainly more comfortable.