Title: Lost and Found
Disclaimer: So not mine. Damn.
Summary: Buffy's in heaven watching over Angel. He's been mourning. Before he ends up going to the monks he searches for a way to find Buffy. He finds her and they talk.
Timeline: Post The Gift
Prompt 10 - "You lost me the moment you walked away."
Note: Betad by the lovely stars91.. Thanks!

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"You can't." A ... voice trembled slightly. The figure wanted so badly to see her Angel again, but it just isn't suppose to happen.

It wasn't suppose to be this way. He left, so that she could live a long and normal life, and have 3.5 kids with some normal Joe. He could've been her normal Joe, but he had to be all noble and give it up.

Now, she's been dead for two months and still, he couldn't get over losing her - get over the guilt.

He would make it right though. That's why he was there, in this old cave. It's what he's been searching for - a way to get Buffy back.

"Why can't you just move on. It's what Buffy would want you to do. You needto get on with your life. We have a purpose here. The bad guys don't just go away because the love of your life is gone."

Angel shook his head. "I can't. I just can't. Maybe you guys still have a purpose, but I don't anymore. Or maybe it's just," he looked to the sky, "changed."

Cordy grabs his arm, "Angel! You can't do this." She stepped in front. "I won't let you do this."

Angel's face is marred with frustration as he raises his voice at his friend andglares at her, "CORDY. Get out of my way."

Softly she whispers, "It's dangerous. You might never come back."

"So what if I don't, huh? She's gone. I gave up my humanity, so she could live and she died anyway. We were happy and I gave it up for nothing!" He looked away for a moment, collecting himself. "I'm going."

"But.." Cordy started, but stopped when Angel raised his hand quieting her instantly.

Without looking back he replied, "I'll see you when I get back." There was no truth in those words. When I get back. Would he? Assuming nothing goes wrong and he makes it there alive... or undead alive. And he finds her... Would he return?

She whispered to herself, "If you get back." Cordy folded her arms around herself and frowned. Wesley and Gunn would not be happy when they return from their latest client mission. And Fred would be... Fred - locked away in her new room, writing on the walls.

There was a flash of blinding white light (big surprise there), and then Angel was gone.

.

Angel was alone in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing, but fields of white nothingness. He looked around, bewildered, still weary from the 'trip' to this place. It took only a few seconds, but whatever magic that got him here left him feeling woozy. It was so bright. He looked up at the -- sky above him. There was no sun. Why was it so bright? He had to cover his eyes a little, it was so intense.

He sighed, exasperated. It was pointless just standing around. He started walking in hopes that something would appear before him.

"Angel." A wispy voice called out to him.

Surprised, Angel turned sharply to his left. In the distance he saw a light shadow of a figure.

"Angel." The voice called again, this time slightly louder, but this time he could tell that it was a girl. So he started walking towards it and as he got closer, he felt a tingle in his heart. His eyes lit up with hope and he increased his pace. It had to be Buffy.

"B-Buffy..." He choked out.

She smiled sadly. "It's me."

"I found you." He smiled and stepped closer, so that they were merely inches apart.

"You'd find me anywhere." Buffy chuckled softly. Then she frowned and said gently with tears in her eyes, "Angel. You're not suppose to be here. I'm so happy to be able to see you one last time, but... you can't be here. You need to go."

"You can come back with me." Angel grabbed a piece of her hair and played with it. He couldn't stop touching her.

"I can't. I'm notsupposed to leave." She paused, trying to form the right words to say what she was feeling without hurting him. "And I don't want to."

Of course - she was in heaven. How stupid of him to think she'd want to leave heaven.

"I'm at peace here." She continued. "No more slayer stuff to deal with, no weight of the world on my shoulders. My mom is even here with me. Angel, I'm so so sorry."

Tears fell freely down his face. "I understand, but I'm not leaving your side. The world doesn't need me anymore and I can't live there without you."

"The world does need you - your friends need you." She touched his cheek. "I need you to move on with your life - for me."

"I never stopped loving you." Angel whispered.

Buffy touched the back of his neck. "I never stopped either," she said, while tilting her head and leaning in for a kiss.

The kiss was a long one, full of all the pent up need that had built up over the years in which they'd been separated. It was like the kiss they shared in the sun; on that forgotten day, only sadder and more desperate. They stopped eventually, despite neither of them needing to breathe. They could have kissed for an eternity and it still wouldn't have been enough.

Buffy sighed. It felt nice to be held by him again. No matter how many times she held onto her heaven created version of Angel, it still wasn't as good as holding the real thing. His unique scent and feel was something not even she could recreate perfectly. One of them had to let go though and she knew that Angel wouldn't anytime soon. Reluctantly, Buffy moved away slightly.

He sighed at the loss of contact. "I don't want to lose you."

"You lost me the moment you walked away." Her voice was light and thick with tears. "And again when you took back the day."

Angel looked shocked at first, and then remorseful. "I'm sorry," was the only thing he could muster. "I only did it to save you and then you - It was all for---"

"Shhh.." She pressed a finger to his lips. "Don't worry about it. I understand why you did it. Now... you need to go. You have friends waiting."

Angel grasped onto her hand in a desperate, futile attempt to stay with her forever.

"Buffy, I lo--" he started, but never got to finish because as soon as he started to say those three little words, there was another flash of light and he was gone.

Angel collapsed to his knees. He was back in the old cave, alone.

"Angel." A gentle hand touched his shoulder. Wide-eyed, he whipped his head around thinking it was Buffy.

"Cordy.." He choked out.

Cordy gave a worried glance to Wesley and Gunn. "It'll be okay." She said quietly and got down on her knees to embrace her friend.

.

"I love you too." Buffy whispered. She wrapped her arms around herself and collapsed onto the green grass. She didn't have to be alone for long because as soon as the white faded away, strong arms wrapped around her,collapsing with her.

"Shh, beloved." Liam said, softly. "He'll be back soon. Back to stay for good."

"Then what happens to you?" Buffy loved this Angel almost as much as the real one. She was almost torn by which she should be loving more, but she knew the answer.

Liam kissed her lightly on the lips. "I just become a memory."