Oh, hello! I don't know what this is. I've always been fascinated with Zach's mother. What kind of mother doesn't even care about her own child? See, that makes absolutely zero sense to me. I intend to write something that shows her more vulnerable side. (A side which I don't recall Ally ever showing us, but I'm sure it's there. It has to be.)
He doesn't know what it's like to be valued. He never feels needed, or wanted, ever since he was little boy. He wonders if his mother would cry if he died. And he thinks that that's just silly because he's sure she wouldn't even care.
"Sometimes people run to see if you come after them."
Cammie said this to him once; it was something Joe told her. But Zach knew the line was a reference to an experience he had when he was twelve.
"Mom." The brown haired boy looked uncertainly at his mother who had just returned home. "Mom, what's for dinner?"
Her exhausted features immediately turned into an annoyed scowl. "I don't know. Make yourself a sandwich; you're old enough to feed yourself." And then she stormed up the steps.
He shook his head, dejected. She doesn't care. She doesn't even care about her own son.
The next day, he packed and went off, just to test this revelation. Just to see if she would notice, if she cared enough to follow. He slept in the forest, just a block from his house, to make it easy for his mother to find him.
For a few days, he just sat on his sleeping bag, straining his ears for his mother's voice calling his name. He didn't hear anything, so he went back to his house. His experiment was finished. His results were negative.
"Zach," his mother's nonchalant tone didn't surprise him when he came in through the front door, "Is that you?"
He almost breaks down crying right there. She's too busy in her office to even glance at him, or ask him where he's been. Most parents would be delirious, embracing their child in relief that their son or daughter is alive and well. But he doesn't shed a tear, because he detects a taste of arrogance in his mother's voice. Like she just knew he would be back, begging for her forgiveness.
He doesn't give her that satisfaction. No, instead he says, "Hi mom, I just went camping. It was great!"
His mother calls back, "Learning to survive on your own, son? Good. You can't always come running back to me." And he knows she knows he was lying. But he grits his teeth and swallows his words. She's just not worth the effort.
Some days, he fully embraces the truth and just lies there in all his pure authenticity. Just himself, no shield, no mask, for hours on end, basking in the filthiness of his blood. He hopes really, that his mother lies, that his father isn't really a genuine scumbag. Because that would mean he isn't a product of two worthless cowards. He's way passed the line of feeling ashamed of his parents. Now he's just scared that he won't turn out any better.
But for a while, Zachary Goode is successful in keeping himself content, for at least his father had enough sense to leave his power-hungry mother.
But then again, his father left him alone just the same and he feels the pain all over again.