Just fall, I'll catch you
Author: Csillangel
Translation and Beta: diAbolicAl'feAtherheAd (Million thanks for that! :) )
Summary: Hurt/comfort, Romance – afterSeason 5 episode 3.
After Raphael's revenge the brothers find Castiel hurted and broken in a forest. They try to help him in every possible ways, but nothing seems to work. But then, an old friend came from Castiel's long-forgotten past, who helps to drag the angel back from the deepest depression, and help him to realize what is the most important thing in his life.
Pairing, characters: Dean/Castiel , Remiel (this character created by me, and I'm sure you will adore him ;) ) Sam, Bobby, Raphael.
Rating: M
Notes:
I changed the look of Heaven. In this story it's more like a huge beautifull place full of angels and with big golden gates and clouds...you know.:)
I left Jimmy out of this story. Castiel doesn't have a vessel, this is his own body, and that's how he was created by God long time ago.
I also changed the timeline. In my story, Castiel weren't in the hospital with the boys in Season 5 Episode 2. His first meeting with the paralysed Bobby will comes later, in my 3rd Chapter.
In other things I tried to be loyal to the original Supernatural world
Finally - English is not my original language, so mistakes are possible. I started to write this story in Hungarian, and I'm at it's 10th chapter already, but I started to translate 'cause everybody loves it.:) If you are also Hungarian you can find the Hungarian version under my name.
Warning: Cas!whump in first chapter, and pre-slash in later chapters, and slash at the end, which will be the 12th chapter maybe. I don't know yet.
Songs: Trading Yesterday- May I, and
Trading Yesterday – Shattered
Chapter 1.
"Castiel! I warn you! Do not dare to leave me here! I will find you!"
Castiel knew that the archangel was not joking. He knew him well. However, he didn't think that he'll fulfill his promise so soon. It was hardly a week earlier when he trapped him with Dean's help and tried to extort some information about the whereabouts of God from him. And now he was the one who's captured in a room which walls were covered with Raphael's enochian protecting sigils. The archangel was circling around him with a smug feature on his face.
"Castiel, Castiel," he said shaking his head as if he was reprimanding a child. "I thought you have learned your lesson at the last time but your obstinacy is becoming more and more irritating."
Castiel listened in silence with his head held high.
"What are you thinking, where it will lead? Because I can assure you that nothing good will come out if this. You can not prevent the Apocalypse! Even not with your precious friends help. You… against the will of Heaven!" He said emphasized the word Heaven then laughed mockingly.
"We will not be alone! I will find God and he will stand beside us!" Castiel exclaimed stubbornly but he just made Raphael laugh even louder.
"God? Still the same story?"
"I will prove it to you! I have the resource what will help me to find Him!"
"Right, of course," Raphael waved his hand absently. "You believe that He brought you back. That He cares about you. That you are special. And all this, because you were the one who scrached Dean Winchester together and pulled out from the sleaze of Hell."
Castiel's face streched in an angry grimace.
"Tell me something! If God cares about you so much then where He is now?" Raphael sneered, then raised his hand. Suddenly a blinding light radiated from his open palm straight toward Castiel. It burned like fire. Castiel collapsed on his knees and concentrated with all of his willpower to not scream. The pain was almost unbearable. When he thought he can't whitstand it further, the light disappeared in the archangel's palm and it brought end to his suffering. He opened his eyes which were tightly closed from the former pain and looked down at himself still panting but he couldn't find anything. His skin and clothes were unharmed. Raphael roughly grabbed his hair and yanked his head back and forced him to look into his eyes.
"You see, Castiel, no one help you," he said with pretended regret in his voice. He released Castiel's hair and returned to the circling.
"You know, everybody can make mistakes. So are we, angels. Especially in these… bitter times. So I will be generous and give you a last chance to make amends for your failures."
Castiel already knew that his answer will be no. Thinking was useless at this point, so he tried to prepare for the worst.
"Come back and help us to get the Winchesters to fulfill their destiny and I…"
"NEVER!" Castiel interrupted him. He don't want to hear any deals. Raphael walked to Castiel and glared down at him in disbelief.
"That Dean Winchester irrevocably demented you. This is the third time you are choosing them against your own brothers! You have feelings, even now. I can see the worry in your eyes when I say the name of his. You are stubborn and self-confident. You think you can save the world and resist Fate. Tipical human trait. You start to become exactly like them! Do you realize where it will lead?"
Castiel tried to ignore him. He didn't look at the archangel while he was speaking but then Raphael crouched before him to be eyelevel with Castiel and leaned in to whisper in his ear.
"You will fall!"
These words gave him a jump. This particular sentence hit the target. For an angel, falling was the most gruesome thing that can happen to them. He swallowed nervously, his heartbeat sped up. Raphael stood up and continued.
"You will loose your power slowly. You will loose us. Your family! Heaven will be only an unattainable pipedream. Do you want this? You want to be marooned on Earth forlornly and lonely? What will happen to you? Who will help you? You think that Dean Winchester will care about you? He will not want you without your power! You will be just a burden to him! He has more major work to do than babysitting a fallen angel!"
These words hurt Castiel. He just wanted to hold his ears and shut out the archangel's voice.
"Moreover, there is the fact of aging and death. You would throw away the eternal life?" He took a break and waited but there was no response from Castiel. He was kneeling on the floor tight-lipped and with the mask of determination on his face. "Well, I don't know why I wag my chin. I will show you instead!" Raphael said and raised his palm again. This time the pain was more powerful and Castiel fell down the floor with a desperate cry. The torment overwhelmed and numbed his body and mind. He didn't know how much time has passed when the pain suddenly came to an end. Tears were running down on his face. Raphael knelt by him and gently wiped them away. Castiel wanted to jerk his head away from the unwanted touch but he was unable to move.
"My little poor thing, you look so tired. But it's natural, of course, when you are mortal, isn't it?"
Castiel felt as his clothes disappeared. He tried to raise his head to glance over himself but he sensed something cold and firm under his chin. He reached for it and he found a thick metal strap around his neck.
"Oh, don't worry about it. This little 'jewel' will provide for you to experience how nice being a hairless ape is. Good luck, little brother!" Raphael said mockingly then snapped his fingers and disappeared.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Castiel regained consciousness in a dark place what looked like a forest at first glance. As his mind started to loose its numbness, the first thing what he felt was the pulsating metal strap around his neck and the throbbing pain all over his body. He would have not moved an inch if the ground under him had not been so cold and wet. He sat up slowly and brushed the leaves stuck to his bare skin off then gazed around. He could hear the soft sound of the rain was tapping on the fallen leaves around him. Further, beyond the trees he could notice something endless and glassy on which shone the pale beam of the waning Moon. Probably a lake. He was completely alone. Just thinking about it made him trembling with icy terror. The first thing that came to his mind was Dean.
He has to do something, he has to make his situation known to him somehow or else he will die here. He gathered all his strenght and determination and tried to send a mental message to Dean but when he wanted to use his angel power, the strap glew with heat around his neck and all he could feel was the burning pain. He knew that he failed. He curled up on the ground and panted for air desperately. His breath came out in visible puffs against the chilly air.
He laid half-unconsciously and shuddering with his whole body at the foot of a tree for long minutes. From the cold or the fear? He couldn't tell. But then suddenly he felt that Dean was calling him. Saying his name. Praying for him. Castiel's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly.
"Dean," he breathed with hope. "Dean, I'm here! Dean!" He cried desperately as if there would be any chance that the elder Winchester will hear him. He knew that his shouting was of no avail but he couldn't do anything to stop himself. "Dean! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here…" he murmured with faltering voice as he leaned against the rough tree trunk with his bare back. Tiny water drops were rolling down his face but this time not because of the rain.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Dean woke with a start. A voice, Castiel's voice was still ringing in his ears as he was shouting his name desperately. There was also an image, like a photo, that associated to the sound. A pinewood and an oddly shaped lake. The Sheridan Lake. Dean recognized it immediately. He and Sam used to stop there in Summer. He knew the place as well as his own palm. But what Castiel has to do with this? He glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was 2 AM.
Dean rolled onto his side, pulled the blankit under his chin and tried to go back to sleep but that dream didn't let him. There was something unnerving in it. He was worried. He sat up in the bed, closed his eyes and wearily started rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"Castiel… uhm… well, I've had a weird dream and I'd just like to know that everything's okay. So, if you're hearing this, I'd appreciate you zap your feathery butt here for a minute. Just to see it's fine."
Nothing. There was no answer. A little bit later Dean could feel a nervous knot in his stomach as he was sitting there now for several minutes, concerned. "Cas! Come on, buddy! I'm starting to freak out here, man!" Dean waited but nothing was about to happen. "Ok! I take it as a no." He grabbed his phone and speed-dialed Sam. It rang once… twice… thrice when he finally heard his brother's sleepy voice on the other end.
"Dean… it's quarter past two… morning. I really hope it's important."
"You can believe me I'm not calling you to chat about any our feelings. I need your help. I think Cas is in trouble." He rattled out all the details to his brother. Ten minutes later he was sitting in the Impala and rushing to get Sam.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Dean didn't care about any speed-limit. Not at all. Even this way took them one and a half hour to get to the lake and they also had to take a half round to find the place where they could see exactly that view what was in Dean's vision. They took their guns out of the trunk and started to scour the ground after Castiel, shouting the angel's name.
They'd been looking for the angel for minutes when Dean had noticed him at the root of an enormous tree. His snow white skin seemed like it was shining at the first streak of dawn.
"CAS?" Dean rushed toward him.
Castiel was lying on his side, huddled up, stock-still. Dean touched his shoulder to roll him onto his back but pulled his hand back in horror when he could sense how icy was the angel's skin. At that moment worse and worse thoughts rushed to his mind but he calmed down eventually when he found out Castiel was still breathing.
"Sammy! Go and take the blanket from the car! Hurry!" Dean shouted to his brother while he was pulling Castiel onto his lap so the angel didn't have to lay on the cold ground. He examined the strap around his neck then gently tapped his face. "Cas," he called him on a soft voice, scanning the angel's unflinching face. After Sam got back with the blanket, they tucked him up thoroughly then carried him to the car and carefully laid him across the backseat.
Dean was going to get in the car when suddenly he changed his mind, threw the key to Sam, sat on the backseat and pulled Castiel against his chest.
"You drive! And turn the heater on at maximum," ordered his brother.
Sam started the car and within minutes the heat in the car started to become unbearable. Dean had to take off his jacket, but then he wrapped it around Castiel's upper body. They were halfway back to the motel when the angel began to tremble.
"Cas? Cas!" Dean hold his breath while watching Castiel as he turned his head in his arms, opened his blue eyes and slowly looked up at him.
"De-Dean," moaned shakily through chattering teeth.
"Hey, Cas," Dean looked down at him with a relieved smile. "How are you feeling?"
"I am v-very… co-cold."
"You tell me," joked Dean lightly then he added more seriously. "You'll soon warm up. Hold on a little longer, okay? But what happened to you? And… what is this thing on you?"
"Raphael…"
"That son of a bitch!" Dean's eyes darkened with anger and tightened his arms around his angel.
"This is entrapping… my power. It hurts," moaned quietly, wetting his dry lips. "How did you find me? I tried to send a message… It wasn't… wasn't succesful."
"No! You made it! You've done a great job!"
Castiel frowned with confusion but he was too tired to deal with it now. No matter how, Dean has found him and this is the only thing that matter. "I'm glad… you are here," he breathed quietly and wearily closed his eyes.
Dean, instead of any response, just smiled and pulled him closer, rubbing his back through the blanket to help his shivering angel warm up faster. "Hold on, ok. We'll soon arrive at the motel and we'll find out something. Everything's gonna be alright."
~.~.~.~.~.~.~
By the time they arrived back to their motel room, Castiel had already got better. They laid him on the bed further from the door, turned on the heater and tucked him with all the blanket what they were able to find in the room. Now only his hands and foot were still cold. Even his shivering calmed down. Dean took out a bottle of ice tea from the minibar and poured it into a glass then warmed it up and walked to the bed.
"Cas, here, drink it. Helps you getting warm." Castiel clumsily pushed himself up on his elbows and reached out for the glass with trembling hands. Dean gave it to him but helped holding it so he doesn't spill the drink. He first smelled it and only then took a cautious sip. Seemed so he liked it, because he gulped the tea down in a blink of an eye.
"This… tasted well," he said gratefully, dropping his head back on the pillow. Sam walked closer and sat down on the edge of the bed while Dean stepped aside to put away the now empty glass. "Cas, I have to take a look at the strap around your neck. Are you okay with it?" The angel tried to push himself up into a sitting position without a word but Sam stopped him. "You can stay. It will be good this way too. Just bend your head backwards as much as you can."
A minute later Dean walked back to the bed and joined in studying the metal strap.
"There's no join, neither a lock," rubbed his neck Sam helplessly while he was turning the strap around Castiel's neck carefully. "How did he put this on you?" asked Sam dumbfounded.
"I don't know… I don't remember," muttered weakly the angel. "All of a sudden it was there."
Sam examined it for a while then stood up with a sigh. Dean fidgeted nervously and looked questioningly at him. "Well? You've got any idea?"
„Don't know. This thing is probably magical and I guess Raphael had put it on him with some kind of angel magic. But I can't see any symbol or sigil what we could break. Maybe we could try and cut it off somehow or something like that but we'll need tools."
"Ok, go and hunt down what you need as soon as it's possible," said Dean, throwing the key of the Impala to his brother. "I'll stay with him."
Sam rushed out of the room, whereas Dean sat back beside Castiel. He took the angel's cold hand into his and started rubbing and massaging it to bring life back into his numb fingers. "I'm sorry, Cas," whispered sympathetically. "Sam's gonna be back in no time and we'll help you. Everything's gonna be okay. I promise."
Castiel gave him a grateful glance, feebly squezed his hand and not much later he was sound asleep in Dean's embrace under the warm blankets.