A/N: Hello there, this mini fic was only intended originally to be 1 or 2 chapters but I just kept writing and it ended up being 3; and they are faaaairly long I'm not gonna lie. I'll release 1 each time I update Quintessential and if you do read that fic don't worry, me posting this won't delay that being updated.

As a little background info my OC in this is an ex-slave, her, her sister and some children were being transported through Kirkwall when they were rescued by Hawke and his little troupe. At this point her sister is dead, as are the children that were with them...I was going to make a full fic about her but this was just much easier.

Enjoy.

Warmth spilled forth from her wounds even as she killed the last of them; her blade, thin and sharp through the soft part of his skull, beneath his chin – almost instant death. Even as she fell to her knees, unable to stand any longer she couldn't help but feel victorious; she had come to conquer without them, come to prove that she deserved her place as one of Hawke's companions…that she could hold her own in battle just as the rest of them could. That she did not need Fenris there as her ever present, ghostly bodyguard.

As she lay there slowly bleeding out, able to stare at nothing but the dark, cavernous ceiling high above, Needle cursed herself for being a fool. One lone girl, barely 5 ft tall was no match for a heavily armed group of Tevinter slavers. Or maybe she was a match for them, as they now all lay about her in various mutilated states; all very much dead, though truth be told it had never been part of the plan to die with them. It was an odd feeling to be certain, she did not feel any pain really, she just felt weak; too weak to move or speak, too weak to keep her eyes open for much longer. What was she keeping them open for anyway, to take in the charmingly primitive scenery around her? Darkness with a touch of smog. The thought made her snort in bitter amusement and she let her eyes close. They would be angry, she was certain; Fenris would be livid with her but at least she wouldn't have to deal with his murderous rage; after all she'd be dead soon.

Dead.

The thought pained her, there had been so much she had still wanted to achieve! Avenging Lilith, going sailing with Isabela – when she finally acquired a ship – beating Varric at wicked grace…confessing to a certain white-haired, prickly elf how she felt about him. Now she would have none of that, her life squandered in a foolhardy moment of reckless abandonment.

It was strange, never had the ground felt so comfortable in her life; so warm, so welcoming, as good as any bed after a long days fighting. As Needle let out one final, weak sigh she heard something.

It was not loud, but it was something.

And it was getting closer.

Though her entire being screamed at her for rest, to give in at last to the welcoming fatigue that was rapidly swallowing her, curiosity would not allow it. And if nothing else, Needle was always curious.

"…can't be far now." Voices, definitely voices; her heart suddenly sped up and she strained her ears to hear more. "Just follow the trail of bodies Hawke, our little Needle did a number on these guys." Varric and Hawke! They had come for her; she knew they would…though they were a tad too late, there was little they could do now. Needle was beyond their help.

"So she did, she hates slavers almost as much as you." Hawke's voice was nearby, but who was he talking to? Varric had no love for slavers, but his hatred of them was not an integral part of his personality. Fenris. It had to be! Her beautiful broody elf had come after her as well.

"Feeeee…" Needle tried her best to call out, still lacking the strength to open her eyes; unfortunately the noise she made was more of a choking gurgle rather than the name she had been trying to call.

"Wait, did you hear that?" Anders was with them as well it seemed; a cosy little family outing and she was missing all the fun. "Needle?" Once again she tried to respond but only succeeded in making yet another disgusting choking sound; but it was enough. "I think I see her!" Footsteps rushed towards her.

"Shit…" Varric's voice echoed clearly through the cavern; evidently she looked as terrible as she felt. "Poor kid…" There was movement around her, and even with her eyes closed she was suddenly very aware of a presence kneeling by her side.

"What do you think Anders?" Hawke's voice wavered as he asked the question, for once the sarcasm and wit wasn't present as he expected the worst.

"I…will do what I can; though I'm not sure how conscious she is." Oh Needle was conscious, she was laid there slowly bleeding out into the dirt listening to the entire exchange like an outsider. As if she wasn't the one they were talking about.

"Needle." One voice cut through the rest like glass, the deep, growly voice she had been hoping beyond hope to hear again. "Look at me." It wasn't a request it was a command, and she couldn't refuse - exhausted as she was; for that voice and the promise of more she opened her eyes. It was dark and blurry, indeed she wasn't even sure what she was looking at for the most part really, however his form stood out like a sore thumb in the darkness, clear to her as day.

"…Fenris." His name was a sigh of relief on her lips, she suddenly felt a hand on her forehead but she knew it was not his. Fenris did not like too much physical contact.

"She's still conscious, that's good…" Anders spoke again, but she kept her gaze fixed on Fenris; in fact she was vaguely aware of more voices, the others were speaking too but she held his gaze and ignored it all. The very sight of that stern, miserable face meant that she could at least die happily…and if she was going to die, she might as well cross one of her goals from her list before she went.

"Fenris…I…" A finger to her lips cut her off and she turned towards the offending hand with a look of pure, delusional aggravation.

"Needle you shouldn't talk right now." Though Anders voice was soft, and she knew he was probably right for some reason it just annoyed her. Didn't he understand that if she didn't speak now she probably wouldn't get another chance? When he removed his finger from her lips she started again, panicking a little as she felt a numbness spreading through her steadily from her feet upwards; death was descending.

"Fen, listen, I need you to listen." Her vision was blurring but she knew he was looking, "I'm s-so sorry, I never should have come here alone…" Even in her current state, his glare was visible; evidently he agreed with her. "But I have to tell you now. I…have to…" The numbness had spread through her midriff now, and she no longer had control over her fingers; she had wished to touch his face as she confessed, surely such an affectionate action was acceptable on her deathbed. But the numbness was spreading too fast, she felt it crawl up her chest and reach her throat; she wanted to cry in frustration. "I love you." She managed to croak. A gratified smile spread across her face at the declaration, and now it was said Needle finally gave it to the numbness consuming her and, at last, allowed herself to be swallowed by darkness.

The very first thing Needle was aware of was the cocoon of warmth around her; so safe and comforting like a mother's womb. Idly she wondered if she was being reborn, she had never really believed in The Maker – nor any of the elven gods – but if she was being reincarnated then perhaps in this life she'd swear by religion. Though she was warm she couldn't feel much else, she could not feel any part of her body nor could she move it; Needle began to doubt she even had a body, she just appeared to be some sort of existence, present and conscious but not really anything in particular. There was a constant noise though, a chronic mumble that at times got louder but never any clearer nor tangible.

How long she was in that state she did not know, to her it seemed like an eternity but in reality it was probably only a few days. It was sudden, the sensation that crept along her body; removing the numbness that prevented her from feeling – at first it was a pleasant tingle but before long it transformed into a much less pleasant sting. The sting ate away at extremities and she didn't know what to do to make it stop – to make it go away and for the comforting warmth to return; but that was then she learned she could move. It wasn't much, just the occasional twitch of a finger or a toe but it was definite movement, and each time she managed it she could have sworn the chronic mumble peaked louder; almost in encouragement.

At some point the mumbles she heard became actual words; abstract voices and words she still couldn't quite understand. Was she being born? At some point soon would she be pushed forth from some poor unsuspecting woman's birth canal and be reborn in a sea of blood and confusion? Needle hoped not, she didn't rejoice at the idea of spending the first few years of her life as a fully conscious vegetable, completely reliant on everyone around her. Hell she had gone into that blasted cave and murdered all those slavers hoping to achieve the opposite! For her to be reborn now would be a cruel twist of fate.

One voice was becoming clearer than the rest, every so often she would catch a word or two; it became somewhat of a game since she didn't exactly have anything better to do. "…hope you…hear…kid, we need…wake up." The voice was familiar! So very, very familiar. She wriggled about in response to it and willed herself to open her eyes; to hell with the darkness that confronted her daily! "Needle? Hey kid can you hear me?" It was Varric; her heart leapt with joy – she wasn't being reborn as a helpless baby! "Blondie you better get over here." Footsteps echoed around her yet again.

"She moving!" Anders voice rang out clearly, he sounded both excited and relieved.

"I better go get Hawke…and the broody elf." The broody elf. That was all it took, she forced her eyes open and almost immediately regretted it as she was greeted with a painful, blinding light.

"Shit…" She hissed in pain, her voice croaky and weak. Her entire body screamed in protest at being wrenched from its comfortable comatose state and back to the reality in which it was bruised and broken; she couldn't help but whimper.

"Not so fast Needle, you need to allow your eyes to adjust to the light…" Anders voice soothed her and she found herself breathing more evenly, he placed a hand over her eyes to shield them. "Open them now…" A darkness greeted her, but it was still brighter than where she had come from. Gradually he lifted his fingers from her eyes, letting in a little more light each time until he could remove his hand completely and she could see. Anders smiling face was staring down at her. "Welcome back to the world of the living."

"Where am I?" She groaned; she wanted water, her throat and mouth were both incredibly dry. Upon licking her lips she found them to be cracked and split. "Can I have some water?"

"Oh of course." Anders disappeared momentarily and reappeared with a ladle. "No clean cups." He apologised and helped her sit up slightly so she could sip at the ladle; water was such a magically refreshing substance. "And as for your previous question you're in my clinic in Darktown." Needled blinked and examined her surroundings properly, she was laid on a bed by a fire, wrapped in blankets; no wonder she had felt so warm and cosy.

"So…I'm not dead then?" Anders smiled at her and shook his head.

"Not today, you came very close though." She sighed a little and attempted to remove the covers so she could see the extent of her injuries. "What're you doing? Stop moving so much, your wounds might reopen!" Anders stilled her and she growled.

"What's the damage?"

"Nothing permanent, thank The Maker, other than scarring you should recover fine. If you stop moving." Needle stopped sneakily trying to edge her arm out of the covers and huffed. Scarring wasn't exactly a problem, she was hardly some rich nobles daughter who needed to appear pristine and perfect to attract a suitor. Speaking of attracting suitors…

"Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no!" Needle suddenly began shaking her head vigorously.

"Needle what's wrong?" Anders squinted at her in concern; she had just remembered what had happened just before she passed out in the caves. "Ah Hawke!" She seized up and looked towards the doorway in unconcealed horror, Hawke stood there with a broad smile on his face and trailing behind him was…Fenris.

"Oh hell." Needle muttered to herself; she had only confessed because she had been certain she was about to die! Had she known she would survive the ordeal there was no way she would have. With any luck he had forgotten about it, or perhaps he would put it down to her being delusional and on her deathbed; it was as good an excuse as any.

"Finally awake little one?" Hawke beamed at her and he made his way over, he crouched by her bed ruffled her hair gently. She managed to give him a weak smile in return; perhaps if she pretended she didn't remember then everyone else would follow suit.

"So it would seem." Varric joined her by her bedside and Fenris lingered in the background, near but not overpowering.

"How're you feeling kid?" Varric asked.

"Sore, kinda like I just tried to take on a bunch of heavily armed guys by myself and ended up getting my ass handed to me." She joked, Varric chuckled in good humour and even Hawke smile, Fenris however looked mutinous.

"Why would you even do that Needle?" Hawke asked with a frown, "Are you-!"

"Completely out of your mind?" Fenris cut Hawke off and finally stepped forward; he hadn't raised his voice but Needle could tell he was angry. The quiet kind of anger that simmered away dangerously until it frothed over and burned everything. "Were you trying to die?" Needle groaned, suddenly wishing she had died so she didn't have to face his lecture.

"Of course not!" She tried her best to sit up but the bandages she was cocooned in coupled with the pain made it difficult. "I was just…" She wavered under his piercing green eyed gaze, "I wanted to prove I belonged here! That I was actually useful and didn't need you constantly hovering around to protect me like some big scary bodyguard!" A dark look passed over his face and Needle felt dread settle in the pit of her stomach as he moved closer.

"Well you certainly proved that didn't you." He replied scathingly causing her to flinch.

"Hey, hey come on, the kid's had a rough enough time as it is she doesn't need this too." Varric jumped to her rescue, placing himself between her and Fenris; as if he would ever attack her. "And to be fair…she did kill them all." Needle beamed at Varric in thanks but Fenris' scowl only deepened.

"And nearly died in the process, dwarf, or did you forget that?" Much to his credit, Varric didn't flinch under Fenris' menacing gaze, so Needle did so on his behalf.

"Enough!" Anders voice cut across both of them, he looked annoyed, "This is a place of rest and recuperation, both of which Needle sorely needs. If you can't wish her well quietly then leave." Needle chewed her lip sheepishly, she had only been awake for a few minutes and already disharmony had spread through their group because of her. Perhaps she should have stayed unconscious; reality is never as good as you remember.

"Anders is right, Fenris this isn't why we came." Hawke's voice was reasonable but it did nothing to quell the elf's anger. Instead he turned on his heel and left, "Maker have mercy…" Hawke turned his gaze skyward in exasperation. "Sorry Needle, I'm glad you're awake at last." He went after Fenris' as damage control; for all the good it would do, leaving a stony silence in his wake.

"I'll go get fresh bandages…" Anders shook his head and wandered off leaving Needle feeling downcast.

"Don't feel too bad about that, you know what he's like." Varric took a seat beside her and she nodded with a half-hearted smile. It looked as though she wouldn't have to worry about her confession after all. "Our broody friend had been even broodier than usual while you've been out, I think he was worried but…you can never really tell with him."

"Worried? About me?" She looked at her dwarf friend in surprise; she knew he'd be angry but she had never considered the possibility he might be worried.

"Well it's not every day a girl confesses her love for you before passing out in a pool of her own blood." He pointed out with a raised brow, Needle felt the heat flood into her face and she chewed her lip. "You looked like a leaky pin cushion." He grumbled.

"I don't know what you mean." She replied in an unnaturally high voice, avoiding eye contact with Varric as best she could.

"Oh I'm sure you don't." He chuckled at her obvious lie, "Well while you've got convenient amnesia I'm pretty sure he still remembers; you worried him and he's not the kind of guy who handles worry particularly well." His tone was light but she understood; this was her lecture. A gentle reminder that what she had done was reckless and had repercussions beyond her own injuries.

"Yeah, yeah I get it." She sighed, "I won't be attempting that again any time soon." She chewed on her lip and looked at Varric, "I suppose I should apologise huh?"

"To everyone." He nodded, "We were all worried about you kid."

"I'm sorry…" Her voice came out a lot quieter than she had intended; were people usually made to feel so bad for nearly dying, or was it just her friends 'quirky' way of showing they cared?

"I have bandages." Anders reappeared in the room carrying fresh linen with him, "Time to change."

"And that is my cue to leave." Varric stood, "When you're feeling better Needle you know where to find us." He gave her a wink and sauntered out, probably to return to The Hanged Man. Anders helped her sit up and gently began unwrapping her blood stained bandages.

"I'm sorry to you as well Anders." She sighed, "For keeping you so busy, there are plenty of people down here who really need your help without me running around Kirkwall getting hacked to pieces." Anders just smiled at her.

"I'm a healer Needle, no need to apologise…" It was a little embarrassing being in such a state of undress in front of him, she had to remind herself several times that he was serving her in a medical capacity and nothing more. "The only way I was put out is that you stole my bed." He mused, Needle stared at him in horror.

"Oh gods, I'm so sorry I'll move!" She tried to leap from the bed while still partially undressed and Anders restrained her with a stifled laugh.

"Calm yourself! That was of little consequence while I was treating you." Needle shook her head, she was truly an idiot.

"I'll move back to the Mansion with Fenris as soon as I can walk." She assured him settling back down.

"Are you sure that's wise?" He asked with a raised brow, she frowned.

"Why do you say that?" His expression suddenly shifted and he forced a smile with a slight shake of his head.

"No reason." Anders touch was gentle but removing the bandages was still a lengthy and painful process, Needle caught sight of some of her knife wounds and winced.

"Good thing I'm not vain." She joked; there was no doubt they'd leave some visible scars. "I'm an idiot." She slumped forward and ran a hand through her hair as the weight of her idiocy hit her like a ton of bricks. Anders placed a comforting hand between her shoulders to soothe her.

"It wasn't the most…inspired idea you've ever had." He conceded, "But you're by no means an idiot." Needle sniffled and glanced up at the handsome ex-warden; it was easy to see why he had a female following in Darktown. "And of course you belong here, even when you're doubting everything around you, never doubt that." His smile was charming and she felt herself smiling back, she could always count on Anders to pick her up while she was down.

"…I still feel like a colossal fool but thanks." She leaned in to hug him briefly; it hurt but she just about managed.

"Anytime Needle…" He grinned at her, "Though you should probably put your top back on, people will talk." Suddenly blushing as red as her hair, her arms flew to cover her chest protectively.

"R-right." Anders stifled a laugh and left her in peace to try and regain some of her dignity before she faced any more well-wishers. "What an almighty tool I am."