Notes: This isn't my first fanfic nor is it my first Kingdom Hearts one. Its just the first one that I've done in a year. Also there may be grammar and spelling errors.

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters from it nor do I own the types of cars that are driven by the character.

Warnings: This fic does have yaoi in it. Meaning male x male. If your not in to that don't read it because I don't want your flames because you don't like guys being together. Also there may be a character death in later chapters, but I'm still thinking about that. There will be some sexual situations, implied sex scenes aka talking about what happened but not in full detail. (Yes I know that sucks but to bad for you) And there will be cussing.

Summary: Sora does something with Cloud that could ruin his relationship with Riku forever. When he tries to make things right Cloud becomes enraged and tries to break them up for good.

What things mean:

"talking"

'thinking'

(author notes)

"'quoting'"

~*~

The Things We Do

Chapter One ~ A Fear of Loss

Cloud laid on his bed. He hadn't know he was awake till the sunlight came in threw his window blinding him. He slowly got out of the bed headed to the bathroom. He stopped at the sink placing his hands on the edge of it looking into the mirror, "God I feel like shit. Thankfully I look like it to." It was true. Cloud had never felt this bad and looked as bad as he felt before. He tried to remember what had happen the night before to make him be in such a shape. 'Lets see. Sora came over. We talked. Then…' He stopped thinking. The memories of what had happen started to flood his mind. 'I kissed him. He struggled so I stopped, but I didn't give up. I got us alcohol and we drunk it. Oh god. I'm so dead if Riku finds out. But wait…' He closed his eyes. He knew he was forgetting something. Something VERY important. 'Sora. What am I forgetting?' His eyes snapped open in realization. 'You told me to. You told me to fuck you. You said you loved me. Sora-' He was snapped out of his thoughts when two arms wrapped around him from the back.

"Cloud my head hurts. Make the pain go away" Sora whispered into the older boys back. Cloud sighed. He wouldn't take this as a sign that Sora did have those feelings for him. Sora always did this with his friends. He even hugged random people on the street sometimes when asked to and this was no different, "What happened last night? Everything's a blur."

'Knew it. He doesn't remember. Don't blame him though, that was some strong alcohol I gave him.' "I'm sorry that your head hurts. I'm out of pain relief. How about I drive you to school and on the way we get you some Aleve?" Cloud said trying his very best not to say a word of what happened.

Sora let go of Cloud and stepped backwards till his back was against the opposite wall, "Ok, but that doesn't tell me what happened" Cloud sighed. He knew Sora wouldn't give up till he knew why he felt so bad. Just when he was about to say something Sora spoke up, "We had sex didn't we? Oh god Riku is going to kill me. You got me drunk so you could fuck me didn't you?"

Sora had hit the nail right on the head. Cloud looked down into the sink. He felt sick very sick and Sora wasn't helping. He had only one card to play, "You asked me to."

"I WAS DRUNK!!! If I had ask for you to let me drive myself home would you have let me?!" total silence, "Thought so. You shouldn't listen to a drunk person!"

"You said you loved me. You said that you would show me just how much you did."

"CLOUD! Look we were drunk, its not like it meant anything right? So lets just forget any of this happened" Sora laughed. Cloud couldn't believe he would laugh at a time like this but then again he didn't know how Cloud felt about him.

"I love you. I love you Sora! Goddamn it!" Cloud turned to look at him. His eyes were wide with disbelief and fear.

Sora had started moving to the door. He couldn't believe any of it. He wanted out of this place. He didn't want Cloud to try anything funny on him. Hell he didn't want to be anywhere near Cloud right now. He knew that he had said yes under the influence of alcohol, but still, it was rape. Statutory rape. Not giving it a second thought he ran out the door and made his way out of the house. Once he was outside he looked around for a place to go 'I have to get away from here and thankfully I slept in my cloths' he started running down the street not knowing where he was going until he ran into a payphone, "I can call someone to give me a ride. But who? Riku, Tidus, and Wakka are at morning blitzball practice. Selphie and Kairi have first periods. Gah! Why me?! Riku… Wait that's it! Sephiroth!" Sora began to look threw his pockets for change, finding some he started to put it the change slot and began to dial the number. 'Please let him not have driven Riku to school!' he waited as the phone began to ring then he heard the sound of someone picking up.

"Hello?"

" Sephiroth!"

"Sora? What do you want? My brother already left an hour ago so what is it?" Sephiroth's voice was really low and Sora could tell he was yawning while he spoke.

"Sephiroth do you think you could give me a ride to school?"

On the other side of the phone Sephiroth stood surprised. Sora was talking a whole lot faster than usual and his voice was cracking. He didn't have to see his face to know he was scared of something or someone, "Sora where are you?"

"Um" Sora looked around spotting a store sign behind him, "I'm outside of Joes Pizza and Ice Cream Parlor"

Sephiroth blinked 'Joes Pizza and ice Cream Parlor? He's only three city blocks from the school not to mention right beside a bus stop for a bus that even goes to the school. Oh well might as well go get him, Riku will kill me if I don't plus he seems scared' "Ok I'll be there in five minuets. Don't go anywhere else"

"Right. Um. Sephiroth, do you think you could get me another pair of cloths? I have an extra pair in Riku's room"

"Yeah sure. See you soon bye" with Sora heard the phone click ending the call. He hung the phone in his hand up and began to walk back and forth. He knew Sephiroth would be there soon but Cloud also had to come this way, and he lived a lot closer seeing how he only had to run for three minutes before getting here. But it wasn't long till a black Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder stopped in front of the place. Sora knew that car by heart. He made his way to the passenger door and got in happy to see that Sephiroth didn't have the top down.

Sora took a bag that Sephiroth was holding out to him and started to change cloths, "Thanks for coming Sephiroth"

"Yeah whatever. Hurry up and finish changing so we can get going" he wasn't surprised to see Sora was able to change in a car without worry about people staring, "Hey not to point of the obvious, but you don't have your school stuff with you"

Sora looked over at him, he already change shirts and just finish getting the new pants on, "I left my bag in my locker" he said getting his shoes on then sitting back and buckling up, "Ok ready!"

Sephiroth gave a little laugh then put the car into drive and drove off. It took ten minutes to get to the school seeing how there was a lot of traffic. He park the car in Riku's spot seeing how Riku had parked in his which usually meant he wanted to borrow his car after school.

~*~

For the first time this year blitzball practice had ended early and Riku couldn't be happier. That was until his two friends decided that it was a good time to bother him, "Yo Riku man you be looking pretty down, something wrong?"

"Yeah, your were really out of it during practice. Did you and Sora get into a fight?" Riku knew Tidus acted dumb but he seemed to know that Riku only acted like this when something had happened with Sora.

He looked down at his feet and sighed, "Well it's a yes and no. I called Sora like I do every night that we have practice but he didn't answer. So I called a couple more times before I went over to make sure he was ok. But when I got there no one was home"

"That's strange. Sora never goes anywhere without telling one of us"

Wakka looked between the two finding two familiar figures coming towards them, "Speaking of Sora. Sora man your early" Riku's head was the first to look over in the direction Wakka was looking. He was happy to see Sora but not so happy to see his brother with him.

"Hey guys!" Sora and Sephiroth walked over and joined them.

Everyone fell silent after they joined the other three so Wakka just continued to talk, "So Sora what brings you to school so early?"

Sora shifted a little. He could tell both Riku and Tidus were eyeing him from the corner of their eyes which made him uneasy, "Well you see I-"

"He stayed at a friends house but they got food poisoning and were rushed to the hospital, so he call me and asked if I could give him a ride to school" everyone turned to look at Sephiroth, "Right Sora?"

"Yeah! Its was terrible! We were trying to cook something out of his grandma's cook book, but we couldn't agree on what so we both cooked one thing each and well… I guess he's just not a good cook"

"Is he going to be ok?"

'Leave it to Tidus to buy the lie' "I think so. He threw up enough that the doctors don't think they have to pump his stomach" Sora looked at Tidus who looked sick, "Well you asked"

"Ahem, not that listening to you guys isn't fun but I'm gonna go study for my Calculus test" with that said, Sephiroth walked off leaving the other four alone.

Everyone fell silent again. Sora was about to leave when he meet the gaze of a certain blue eye, blond hair boy. His eyes went wide with fear for the second time this morning. His breath quickened, he could feel a panic attack coming on. 'Oh god. Its Cloud. Why am I so afraid of him now? I know why. I'm afraid Riku will find out. I have to tell him, but I need to get away from here now!' He started to walked backwards in hope to get away or have him stop looking at him but ended up tripping on his shoes falling over backwards, "Sora! Hey man you ok? You look like you just saw a ghost" Wakka tried to help Sora up but he just kept moving backwards.

He finally stopped four feet away from where he had been standing and was now shaking violently, "C-cant b-breath"

Riku was the first to go to Sora, getting down on his knees and bring Sora into a hug. He had always been told that this could make things worse but he knew panic attacks were not life threatening even though they felt like they were, "Shh Sora, everything's gonna be ok. Tidus go get a teacher or the nurse."

Tidus nodded and ran for the main building. Wakka walked up and knelt down beside his two friend, "Sora man…" Wakka stopped and looked up to see Tidus with the nurse. Thankfully she was entering the school at that very same time. She knelt down beside him and took Sora's hand.

"Sora, honey what's wrong? I know that you might not be able to talk but I need to just to nod or shake your head ok?" Sora nodded, "Ok, Sora were you afraid of something and it got out of hand?" Sora again nodded, "I see. Riku will please stay here with Sora while I go call his mom?"

"Of course"

"Ok. Please don't try and move him and when its over will you bring him to my office?"

"Yes ma'am" the nurse got up and walked back to the school. Once she had entered the bell for class rang. Tidus and Wakka looked at their friend hoping he would ask them to stay, "You two go to class, I can take care of everything" the two boys sighed and walked to the school leave Riku alone with Sora, "Sora before we go to the nurse you are going to tell me where you were and no lies"

TBC

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Ok I'm done with this chapter. Oh sorry about the panic attack thing, I had no other ideas. So review and let me no what ya think about the story so far.