A Warriors Crackfic
Authoress: da kiwi bird (otherwise known as .greenkiwibirdfruit.)
Summary: Squirrelflight writes a novel, exploiting the other cats of ThunderClan.
"What's that?" Brambleclaw asked, gazing suspiciously at Squirrelflight's typewriter.
"I'm writing a novel," she replied.
"Let me see." Brambleclaw pushed Squirrelflight aside, and looked at what had been typed already.
SQUIRRELFLIGHT'S NOVEL
All was fine in ThunderClan, when, suddenly, a fox attacked! Everyone ran away, except for Squirrelflight, who fought and conquered the fox.
"Yeah, right," Brambleclaw said. "As if that would ever happen."
Squirrelflight meowed indignantly. "It's my novel," she said. "Now READ."
Everyone loved Squirrelflight because of it, except for her sister, Leafpool, who was jealous. Squirrelflight was getting more attention, just because she saved the Clan. Leafpool decided that she would have to eliminate Squirrelflight, so that she would be in the spotlight once more.
"I would never do that," said Leafpool, who had walked over to see what Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight were reading. "Change it."
"Plus, Squirrelflight," Brambleclaw said, "I loved you already. So that sentence doesn't apply to me."
Behind them, Leafpool pretended to gag.
"Fine, I'll change it."
But then Leafpool felt guilty for thinking bad things about her awesome sister, and to exonerate herself from the guilt, decided that her sister was too great to kill. Then Brambleclaw came up and said,
"Aren't you happy? The fox went into WindClan and ate Crowfeather!"
Squirrelpaw leaped up and danced for joy.
"What's that?" Cloudtail asked.
"Squirrelflight's novel," Brambleclaw and Leafpool replied in unison.
"I didn't know my neice/cousin/thing could write. I should go tell Firestar about his daughter's intelligence upgrade."
"Don't be so cruel to Crowfeather," Leafpool sobbed.
Squirrelflight began to type again, saying, "Be careful what you say. Bad things will happen to you in my novel."
Suddenly, the fox burst back in, this time accompanied by a bunch of badgers. They attacked and killed Cloudtail, who had been serving Squirrelflight iced tea, and dragged his limp body out of the camp. Everyone jumped for joy, exclaiming,
"Finally! The dumb white cat is gone!"
They were all happy that Squirrelflight hadn't been harmed, and hadn't broken a claw saving Cloudtail, or, has he was known after his death, Nobrain. Firestar was given the not-so-sad task of telling Princess that her only son was dead.
When Princess found out, she invited Smudge, Barley, Ravenpaw and the four clans over to her twoleg's house for a 'Celebrate Cloudtai's Death' party. Unfortunately, Nobrain-Cloudtail, being the party pooper that it(he) is, had to come back from DumbStarClan and ruin the party. The other cats of DumbStarClan decided to come over with Nobrain-Cloudtail. They included Spottedleaf, Darkstripe, Brokenstar, Hawkfrost and Crowfeather. They crashed the party, so Squirrelflight had to call Bluestar and the rest of StarClan to kill them