Notes: You people are evil. Making me write one of these…
Fearsome Fetish
"Well, it's pretty simple," Sakura's fairy godmother beamed at here. Sakura just sort of stared back, incredulous. It was so unfair. Clearly, she'd been stuck with a fairy who liked to smoke her own dust.
"True love's kiss shall return you to your original form!" her godmother cheeped, with the extra bonus of a raunchy wink.
I hope you die, Sakura thought venomously. God, like she hadn't kissed Sasuke already—
…crap.
"Be good now! Don't go over our ratings! Remember that we're catering to an audience!"
Sakura lunged with the full power of her six limbs, but the fairy was already gone, vanished into a cloud of fruity smoke.
This, Sakura decided, sucks. Were their roles reversed, she was sure that Sasuke would have been made into something adorable and cuddly. Like a kitten.
And here Sakura was…a bug. A bug.
This was clearly sexist somehow. As soon as she regrew her fingers, she would be writing some very angry letters.
What's more, she somehow had to convince Sasuke, (and his tripper happy Windex, bug killer extraordinaire,) that he had to kiss her.
Sakura privately hoped her grand scheme involved leprechauns. It wasn't like this crap could get any weirder.
The front door pushed open, and Sakura instinctively scuttled under the couch, watching with multi-faceted eyes as Itachi strode into her home.
Wait. Wasn't he dead?
Then again, she was a beetle, so it wasn't like she could talk.
Hurridly, Sakura picked herself up and scuttled after him. She figured that if anyone was likely to go around macking bugs, it was probably Sasuke's psycho brother.