He ran, ran as far away as he could, as far away as this island would allow. His thoughts pounded, pounded in sync with his racing heart, blood racing throughout his entire body faster and faster as he gained speed, the momentum almost too great—
He instantly felt free, liberated from the forces of gravity, as he fell and fell down to the white-yellow sand rushing before his eyes. His burden, the one he had been frantically running from, hadn't lifted a single heavy ounce.
The image, oh-so-horrible, still burned freshly in his mind.
Riku saw them.
---
Sora, Riku, and Kairi sat, each facing the other, cross-legged in the very sand their raft once sat. There was nothing to be heard but the silent rejoicings of their reunion. Kairi, not always the brightest light bulb, was sitting, unknowingly to her, in quite a provocative position that allowed Riku an excellent view of her lower undergarments. He instead chose to feast his eyes on the beloved Sora, who was having trouble keeping his own eyes off of both Riku and Kairi.
"So," Excitement, no doubt, quivered in Sora's voice. Riku could not imagine how much effort Sora was using to contain himself, "we're home..."
As Sora's attention wandered about the place, his eyes flickered onto Riku's. Riku couldn't help but smile; he seemed so content, so...happy. Which was exactly what Riku wanted.
"You still haven't told me about that giant bull you mentioned!" Impatience seeped in Kairi's voice. It was obviously fake; Kairi was quite the kidder.
"You mean the Behemoth?"
"You know what I mean!"
Sora laughed.
"Okay, okay! But no interrupting!"
After several moments, Riku suddenly realized that Sora's last bit was directed at him. He scratched the back of his head bashfully, smiling slyly.
"Aww, don't worry, Sora. Those things were pretty easy to be—"
"Riku. You're different."
Riku stopped mid-laugh, looking over at Kairi as she made her observation. Realizing what she just said, her face flushed as she averted her eyes to the ground.
"I-I didn't mean it in a bad way...I just—"
"Hey," The retort came slick as butter to Riku's tongue, "I thought there were no interruptions."
Kairi giggled, brushing her hair from her eyes as she spoke, "I guess I forgot."
Sora meanwhile observed his best friend, tilting his head this way and that. Hand to chin, he contemplated.
"Riku doesn't seem any different to me."
Riku turned to face his defender, his thanks etched in his expression. Sora returned the look, eyes twinkling as they always do when he grinned so wide.
"Man, I missed you, Riku."
---
Riku lay facedown, feeling the sand irritatingly rub against his skin. His back throbbed, a constant and reoccurring injury he had obtained fighting by Sora's side. His eyes were still glued shut as if he was afraid that if he were to open them again, he'd relive that terrible nightmare.
Water overlapped his body; he could tell it was seawater from the salty taste. As the water was sucked back to sea, Riku gingerly picked himself up, careful not to irritate his back any further. Brushing the sand from his arms, he surveyed the area he stood in.
He was on the opposite side of the island, close enough to see the small cave tucked away in the shadows. He shuddered slightly, recalling the tremendous power he once underestimated of the Keyhole hidden in that cave. To think if he only knew then what he knew now…
"Hey, look! It's Riku, ya?"
"You mean he's back?"
"Now we can really have a good match!"
He strained to see three familiar figures making their way towards him. Too late to make a run for it, Riku instead turned his back on them, facing the open ocean that lay before him calmly.
---
The tone of his voice rang in Riku's ear as he followed Sora to the shack, secluded from prying eyes.
"Riku, we need to talk."
His heart thumped in beat to his footsteps, quickening to the pace of Sora's. How Sora had talked to Riku was like how a mother would to her mischievous child, a girlfriend to a disloyal boyfriend. He cringed as Sora turned to face him, as if half-expecting Sora to take a good strike across his face. Sora gave him a baffled look.
"Huh..." Sora rubbed his head, thinking. "Maybe you really are different."
Riku's eyes narrowed.
"Maybe," Sora continued his act, "maybe you're just a big chicken!"
Riku remained not amused.
Blissfully ignorant of Riku's growing displeasure, Sora moved on to dancing about Riku in a ridiculous manner, poking his side every now and then.
"Ha, ha!"
"Knock it off." Riku shifted slightly in order to keep Sora in view as he pranced behind him. He felt a swift kick to his lower backside, accompanied by another triumphant laugh from his best friend.
"I said to knock it OFF."
The Way to Dawn materialized in his hand as Riku whirled about to face Sora, an automatic instinct by now. Sora, realizing how bad of an idea it was to provoke Riku, began to backtrack.
"Look, I'm sorry! I just…" His voice dropped to a sigh as he lowered his eyes to the sand, "I'm not looking forward to this—"
"—To what?" Riku's Keyblade dissolved in his hand.
Sora lifted his eyes to the sky, so startlingly blue and clear, both identical in so many ways. Inhaling deeply, he took the courage to face Riku again. "Do you love her?"
Riku started, taken aback. "What?"
"I KNOW YO—" Clenching his fist tightly, reminding him to keep his cool, Sora lowered his voice. "Kairi. Do you love her?"
"Love her?"
"Love her, like her, lust her bod—"
"No," Riku was more perplexed than ever. "Why do you ask?"
Sora, meanwhile, was growing more and more peeved. "Then why did YOU want to save her so bad?"
The answer already formed on his lips before Sora even finished his question. Riku knew perfectly well why he wanted to save Kairi.
I only wanted to save you from yourself.
Wild Behemoths would have to drag that answer from his dead body.
"She's a friend," Riku replied coolly, shrugging.
Sora eyed Riku suspiciously, trying to see through his white lie. But he was satisfied and instead sprouted another wide-eyed grin.
"Hey, wanna take Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie on? Us against them?"
Riku smiled, shaking his head lightly.
"My back's bothering me." A complete lie, although Riku wasn't too intent on experimenting with fights and his wrecked back for a while anyways.
Sora nodded, understanding. "Yeah, you really need to get that checked out."
"I will," Riku waved Sora on as he bounded back to Kairi, obviously aching to spend some time alone with her. Sora turned to give him a final farewell when a nagging question wormed its way out of Riku's mouth.
"Hey, Sora?"
Sora cocked his head to the side, all ears.
"Why did…" Riku took a step forward, pushing himself over the awkward barrier, "Why did you want to find me so badly?"
Sora considered his question, studying Riku carefully.
"That's easy!" Sora beamed. "I could never imagine life without you, Riku."
Riku's heart skipped a beat hearing those words. He lifted his eyes to Sora's, opening his mouth to say those fateful words he had been dying to say all along—
"You're my best friend."
The violins in the air came screeching to a halt, leaving Riku gaping dumbfounded at Sora. Sora snickered.
"Your face!" Sora mimicked Riku's with one of his own, although to a sillier degree. Riku smirked at his goofball buddy.
"Very funny," was his retaliation as he walked off, leaving Sora at his own devices.
---
"Hey, brudda. Something wrong, ya?"
"Shh! Maybe we should just leave him alone…"
"Maybe he just needs a good fight!"
A sharp whack to the head pained Riku; turning around, he faced Wakka, Selphie, and Tidus, the previous speakers.
"That didn't help, Tidus, ya."
"You don't look too good…" Selphie stroked Riku's cheek as she spoke, confusing Riku until he realized that she was pointing out the tearstains on his cheeks.
"My back." Riku pulled away, desiring no touch but Sora's.
"What are you, an old person?" Tidus jumped in front, waving his wooden stick in Riku's face.
"Tidus! He really might be hurt…" It was comforting to hear compassion in her voice, although Riku would've preferred it coming from somebody else.
"Need help? I can take you to my place, ya?"
"We'll carry you!"
"I'll be fine, honestly," Riku turned his back to the three, making his way to any place but here—
"Are you sure it's not something else?"
Riku was starting to be reminded why he didn't hang out with these three so often.
"I think that's just an excuse!"
"Maybe a girl, ya?"
Wrong gender.
"It's nothing," Riku kept his back to them, snarling in annoyance. Feeling an arm drape over his shoulder, he pivoted to face the jointed body of Selphie. Standing on her tiptoes, she stretched up to his ear.
"I know how you feel, Riku," she murmured, speaking low to avoid eavesdroppers. "It's her. It's—"
Riku opened his mouth in protest but Selphie was too quick for him. Placing a finger over his lips, she continued.
"You love Kairi, don't you?"
Riku eyed Selphie nonchalantly.
"You and Sora do, right?"
Riku blinked.
"I know it's so obvious that she loves Sora. And you're jealous, right? Sora IS your best friend, after all."
Riku sighed.
"Just don't put any pressure on her, alright? I mean, just about any girl would have such a tough decision, having to pick between you and Sora."
Riku eyed her again.
"Give her time. You'll see. It'll all pay—"
"That's great, Selphie. I'll make sure to remember that," Riku pushed her away, sick of being misunderstood. Nobody would ever realize how alone he really was.
"We'll fight sometime, ya?"
Riku nodded, waving as he retreated. He had enough of interacting with those three for more than one day.
---
Riku had been sitting in his usual spot for, what seemed like, hours until he realized that Sora was not coming back any time soon, as he had fervently hoped. Instead of Riku leaving Sora to his own devices, Sora had left Riku to his. Growing more impatient by the minute, he decided to occupy his time by doing something more productive.
Swinging off the tree trunk proved to be a feat his back couldn't handle, and as Riku hobbled his way over to the cove, he started thinking that perhaps he wouldn't be able to pick coconuts, his original plan. Luckily, or unfortunately, depending on which way he took it, Riku was distracted by the voice of that sweet boy…
"Kairi. I've been meaning to say this forever…"
"Yeah, how you got this scratch on my lucky charm?"
Climbing sloth-like to the top of the wooden tower, Riku had a picture perfect view of his two friends, slightly shrouded by thick bushes. If he remained still in this position just right, they would never realize their third wheel was hovering over them.
A sigh.
"I already told you, Kairi, I didn't mean to! I probably scratched it when I was fighting that one—"
Giggles.
"Sora, you worry too much! I was just kidding."
Laughter, followed by silence.
"Sora, do you know what happened to Riku?"
Riku reared up silently. How dare she imply something went awry with him! A nasty suspicion arose in him, nevertheless. Something had changed in him, although for the better or worse, he could never tell…
"You mean, his back?"
"I know he hurt it in battle. I mean, him."
Silence.
"I don't know. Maybe darkness will always have some hold on him…"
Riku's nostrils flared. How dare he!
"…but I really don't know, Kairi. Remember all that he's been through."
"Yeah."
That's right, ungrateful little girl. Think of all the pains your silver-haired friend went through to save both your skins.
"I feel horrible though. Like it's all my fault."
Any previous grudge he held towards Sora instantly vanished.
"You couldn't have done anything, Sora."
"Still…"
"He's alive and back home with us. What more does he need?"
Why am I friends with her again?
"Please, Kairi. I don't want to talk about him…"
Riku noted Sora's strained voice.
"What do you want to talk about, then?"
Several motions went unseen behind the thick shrubbery.
"You and me."
Riku struggled to get a better view of the scene, finally resulting in him moving his position altogether. The instant he saw was the instant he regretted.
They stood entwined in each other, pale flesh molded as one, braced against the coconut tree. Their mouths moved in silent harmony, spilling their secrets and soul into the other. She traced every inch of Sora with her undeserving hands, greedily taking in the smooth boy that Riku once fought so hard for.
Jealousy consumed him, his heart shattered, he shook uncontrollably, tears rolled down his cheeks, and he silently mourned. Unable to bear the sight any longer, Riku ducked behind the shrubbery, rolling off the tower into the soft sand below. Let them find him, let them see the wreck they caused of the poor misunderstood boy, the boy no one knew and cared to know.
"What about Riku?"
Riku trembled, in rage, shock, and many more emotions he never felt before.
"What about him?"
It was certain that Riku was the absolute last thing on Sora's mind at the moment.
"Shouldn't he know about us?"
Flee. Flee to safety. You don't want to know his answer.
Riku was just a few steps from gone…
"Aww, why would he care?"
---
Riku had withdrawn back to the cove, overly distracted to think clearly. Fortunately, Sora and Kairi had left the premises already, no doubt searching for Riku to inform him of their latest developments. Not like Riku cared any more. They emptied him, emptied him of his emotions, his soul, his life...
"Riku!"
The sweet-turned-bittersweet-and-sour voice was a punch to his heart. Smiling faintly, Riku faced the sea, plodding his way to the welcoming deeper waters.
Scattered splashes of water told him that Sora and Kairi had followed him in.
"Riku, what are you doing?"
"Taking a bath."
Someone sighed impatiently.
"Sora, maybe we should just do this later."
"No. I want to do this now!"
"He obviously doesn't want to hear it!"
"You can't stop me from telling him!"
Riku smirked to himself in sick pleasure at their bickering. Sora was not all lost.
"Riku, please." Sora's plea strummed on Riku's heartstrings, and almost, for a moment, did Riku lose his front. "We need to talk."
"There's nothing left to say."
Truth slowly dawned on Sora. Not needing to press on any further, Sora murmured his apologies.
"Why are you apologizing, Sora? There's no need!"
"He already knows, Kai."
Riku scoffed. Kai?
"H-he…what? But how?!"
He could tell Kairi was blushing from her stammering to the scorching heat he practically felt from her cheeks.
Sora ignored her, stepping forward to place a gentle hand on Riku.
"Will you be okay?" He whispered, his eyes searching Riku's for some answer. Riku remained frozen as he tried so hard to ignore the purity and simple beauty of the boy standing before him, lest his heart was to break even further looking into those eyes one last time.
"I—" He choked on his words, trying to explain what exactly Sora really meant for him. But, no. There would never be a time for that. Not now, not ever. "Go. I'll be fine."
Sora nodded, giving Riku one last sympathetic glance and a pat on the back before skipping off with Kairi, hand in hand, heart with heart.
Riku stole one backwards glance at Sora, the boy who tasted of sugar no more and only of salt. Kairi may have turned him sour but that still didn't mean the boy wasn't beautiful.
No, the boy had always been perfect. He always will be.
"Sora…" Riku clenched his fist to his heart, in hopes of stilling his anxious heart. There was nothing left of the perfect boy for him. "I…I've always…"
Off on the horizon, Riku felt suddenly filled by the warmth of the setting sun. Perhaps this was one of the waning suns that he had watched with Sora and Kairi, many moons ago.
Hazy memories replayed in his head, the benign times of ignorance and sugar. How little they knew then of what was yet to come. But now, they knew better, so much better…
"I've always loved you," Riku uttered these words, the words meant for the boy of salt alone before giving up his broken heart, body, and soul to the awaiting sea.
---
Watching the sunset, laying carefree on the ocean's shore, hand in hand…it sure was like the good old days.
There were times on his perilous journey when Sora had wished, to the deepest depths of his heart, that none of this had ever happened to him, that he was still carrying on his days, weak and unknowing, with the two best people in the world.
Now, having returned to his home island, Sora still wished, to the deepest depths of his heart, that this had never happened. He found the ones he hoped to find, he saved the world he hoped to save. No matter how much he tried though, things were still amiss.
Perhaps Riku wasn't the only one still battling with the darkness within. Maybe Sora had been too, and it could be taking over him right this moment. Possibly Kairi was affected as well, in some way or another, from exposure…
Or maybe they were just growing up.
Sora and Kairi's hands seemed to fit snugly in each other's, although Sora's other hand felt quite empty without Riku's, the perfect mold.
Their kiss…it was good, no doubt, but it still didn't feel right. It just wasn't how he had imagined it.
Maybe this wasn't right.
Maybe Sora and Kairi just weren't meant to be.
Maybe Sora had somebody else.
No use worrying about pointless stuff like empty hands now. He had a sunset to enjoy.
He'll talk to Riku tomorrow.