Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own anything from Harry Potter, and no profit is made from this piece of fanfiction, so please don't sue me, k?
Written for Snarry Swap on snape_potter on LJ. My eternal love and adoration to lorcalon for the beta work!
Harry let out a yelp of surprise as a pair of arms twined their way around his waist from behind. A low, amused chuckle rumbled in his ear, and he relaxed back against Severus's chest. Tipping his head back onto the other man's shoulder, Harry flashed him a small smile and leaned up to brush his lips against his jaw.
"You're late," he said, as he turned in Severus's arms. "I thought you said you'd be back over an hour ago?"
"I should have been," Severus murmured, holding Harry against him while his hands wandered down to cup his arse through his trousers. "I was delayed by a rather...engaging argument about the best method for powdering asphodel root." The corner of Severus's mouth twitched and Harry laughed. Shaking his head with a smile, Harry extricated himself from Severus's arms to turn his attention towards the wardrobe again.
"So, by 'engaging', you mean 'remarkably frustrating,' then?"
"I was under the impression that these conferences were meant to be for potionsMasters, not any dim-witted tosser with the ability to light a fire beneath a cauldron," Severus said, moving to perch on the edge of the bed while Harry began sifting through his side of their wardrobe in search of a shirt. "I suppose it held the small benefit of preparing me for the annoyance of the upcoming lot of first-years, however."
Harry shook his head with a chuckle. He plucked a dark green jumper from a hanger and tugged it over his head, turning to glance in the floor-length mirror on the inside of the wardrobe door.
"Wear the red one."
Cocking one eyebrow, Harry met Severus's eyes in their reflections. "Why?" he asked, turning to check for some sort of tear or stain he hadn't noticed.
"Because that is the one I'd like you to wear," Severus answered flatly. His expression was unreadable when Harry focussed on him again, and for a moment, all Harry did was blink, before he shook his head again.
"Well, I'll wear it for you tomorrow, then. This one looks all right, and I've already got it on." His tone wasn't confrontational, and as he turned towards Severus, he received a nod from him, albeit a stiff one. "What's the matter?" Harry asked, approaching Severus's place on the bed. He hovered in front of him, laying his hands on his shoulders.
Severus considered him briefly, before raising a hand to lay it over Harry's on one shoulder. "Nothing."
Harry rolled his eyes. "You're upset that I won't change my shirt. To Gryffindor red, no less. Something must be bothering you."
"I've spent the past week surrounded by pompous witches and wizards who, I am now convinced, hardly know their arse from a hole in the ground, or which end of the stirring rod goes in the cauldron. I doubt my current tension should come as a surprise, considering." Harry chuckled and climbed into Severus's lap.
"Perhaps I should help you unwind a bit, then, before we go out."
Severus shook his head and gently nudged Harry back out of his lap. "As appealing as that is at the moment, I imagine we would find ourselves carried away and forget our plans entirely." Harry frowned. Leaning in towards him, Severus pressed a fleeting kiss against his lips. "Tonight. I'm certain your libido will hold until we return home."
"After drinks with that git? I'm not so certain."
"I was under the impression that you were on rather agreeable terms with Draco."
"That doesn't make him any less of a git." Harry flashed a smile. "Just like it doesn't make you less of an arse."
Harry's breath hitched as Severus's arm shot out to grasp his forearm, pulling him roughly against his chest. "Brat," Severus murmured as he dipped his head to claim Harry's lips. Harry leaned into him, twining his arms around Severus's neck as his lips parted in invitation. Severus's tongue slipped into Harry's mouth to taste him, coaxing a low moan from his throat before he pulled back and released the younger man.
"Finish getting ready, so we can leave."
Huffing, Harry pulled back, although he hardly managed to keep his smile restrained. "Fine. But you had better make it up to me later."
Severus was silent while he gave Harry a pointed once-over, his gaze lingering on Harry's arse. "I believe that is an acceptable compromise."
They Apparated to the street outside the Leaky Cauldron twenty minutes later, and stepped into the crowded pub to find Draco perched on a stool at the bar waiting for them. Draco led them to a booth at the back, claiming one side for himself while Severus and Harry shared the seat across from him. Severus curled one arm casually around Harry's waist, not pulling him closer but still holding him, while Harry and Draco fell into conversation. Severus's mind wandered through most of their talk, although he noticed Draco glance at him more than once with a curious expression. It took Harry shifting away from him, some time later, to bring his focus back to the moment.
"Do either of you need anything while I'm up?"
Severus began to shake his head, but Draco nudged his empty glass on the table. "I'd say another round is in order, wouldn't you, Severus?" Although Harry seemed oblivious to it, Severus caught the significant look in Draco's eyes and nodded.
"Please." He watched Harry return his nod and move away towards the loo, delaying turning his gaze to Draco for a moment.
"So," Draco started, the moment Harry was out of earshot. "Things are going well for you, then?"
Severus nodded, his attention focussed on Harry's back while he weaved around tables, rather than his godson. "I am happy." Draco's sound of disbelief finally drew Severus's gaze towards him and he narrowed his eyes. "What?"
Making an effort to appear disinterested, Draco shrugged and leaned back against his side of the booth, holding Severus's gaze. "I'm just surprised, is all."
"That I can be happy?" Severus sneered. "Or that Harry is the one to make me so?"
"That you've taken to lying to me because of him," Draco answered, plucking up his half-empty tumbler of Firewhisky and draining it. Across the table from him, Severus straightened in his seat, his lips pulling into a thin line, although he made no attempt to deny the accusation. He waited while Draco considered him, refusing to look away or speak until Draco relented and continued.
"I've known you my entire life, Severus. I know your evasions when I hear them." Draco's tone was even as he spoke, with a trace of concern beneath the words. "Being happy does not mean that things are going as well as you would hope. So allow me to be more specific: is there anything that is not going well between you and Harry?"
Severus's gaze flicked away at last while he focussed on his empty glass on the table. "There is something that is missing, although I am at a loss for a means of introducing it into our relationship."
Draco was silent for a moment while he took in Severus's answer before he leaned forward, folding his arms against the table. "You're referring to the... dynamic... you enjoy?" he asked, a hint of a knowing smirk tugging up one corner of his lips. "He doesn't know?"
"Despite four months of subtle suggestions, he does not."
Draco laughed. "Subtlety works with Slytherins, Severus. Lions, on the other hand, seem to require things to be laid out more plainly in front of them. And since you are involved with one of them, I would suggest you employ a more Gryffindor tactic to show him what you'd like."
Snorting, Severus shook his head. "What would you suggest, then? Tying him to the bed while he's asleep and hoping for the best?"
"I imagine that would get the point across, yes. Although, if you're less inclined to frighten him, you might bring it up in conversation."
"Yes, I can see that going well, can't you?" Severus scoffed. "'Harry, I'd rather enjoy it if you would allow me to order you around a bit, and possibly beat your arse from time to time.' Yes, I imagine that would go over spectacularly well."
To Severus's annoyance, Draco snickered, attempting to hide the sound with a cough behind his hand. "Well, there are better ways you could phrase it; especially since that isn't exactly what you're asking for, is it?"
"Do you think he'll see it as anything different, even if I were to explain it to him?" Severus asked. His gaze flicked to Harry, leaning against the bar across the pub from them, waiting to order drinks. "He has not seemed especially interested in changing anything about our relationship."
"That's exactly why you should discuss it, then, isn't it? Listen," Draco continued, glancing over his shoulder to be sure Harry had not begun to approach the table yet. "Speak with him about it. You only have a week left before you've got to go back to Hogwarts for the term, and then you've got a few weekends here and there, and nothing else. Things will either go to shite, or they won't, but if they do, then at least you save yourself dealing with most of the mess."
"Your concern for my relationship is touching," Severus bit out.
Draco only shrugged as he leaned back in his seat. "Go on as you are, then."
Severus pursed his lips and remained silent until Harry returned to their booth, balancing three fresh tumblers of Ogden's in his hands.
"Did I miss anything?" Harry asked as he slipped into his seat beside Severus, nudging one of the drinks across the table to Draco. Severus's arm closed around his waist again, this time pulling him closer against his side.
"Nothing of interest."
"Severus was just regaling me with stories from his conference."
Harry chuckled and took a sip of his drink. "I'm guessing the phrase you were looking for there was 'whinging', Draco?" he asked as he flashed Severus a cheeky smile. Severus scowled at him, while Draco's eyes crinkled at the corners with suppressed laughter.
"Something like that, yes."
Severus bided his time throughout the week that followed, turning Draco's suggestion over in his mind while he considered his options. On Friday evening, however, with his return to Hogwarts on Sunday for the upcoming term looming over the two of them, his resolve broke. Sitting at one end of the sofa in the library of Grimmauld Place, Severus looked over the top of his Potions Weekly at Harry, who had his feet curled up under himself in the overstuffed armchair nearer the fireplace while he read. Closing his magazine and setting it aside on the sofa arm, Severus observed him for a moment before attempting to draw his attention.
"Harry." Severus waited for a distracted hum from Harry to signal he had heard him. "Come here."
"One sec," Harry murmured, his gaze still focused on his book. Severus hesitated, considering whether it was worth pushing or not, before he shifted to straighten in his seat.
"Harry," he repeated in a firmer tone. This time, Harry looked up, his brow furrowed as he closed his book. Setting the book down, Harry stood and moved to join Severus on the sofa, sitting beside him and allowing Severus to wrap one arm around his waist.
"Is something the matter? You've seemed a bit on edge today." Severus didn't answer right away, and Harry sighed, dropping his head against his shoulder. "What's wrong, Severus?"
"Nothing is wrong," Severus said evasively. Harry made a disbelieving sound, but did not press, instead relaxing against Severus's side. "Harry?"
Harry hummed in question without lifting his head.
"Have you considered trying anything different in our relationship?"
At that, Harry tipped his head back with a small frown. "Like what?"
Severus rolled his opposite shoulder, glancing away from Harry while he answered, "Perhaps a bit of sadism and masochism on occasion-"
"Sadism and masochism," Harry repeated. His eyes widened and he pulled away from Severus to sit straighter, staring at him.
"Or a bit of dominant/submissive play-"
"Sadism and masochism," Harry said again, louder, as he moved off the sofa to stand, staring down at Severus in shock. "You want to hurt me?"
"Please calm the dramatics and listen-"
"Listen?" Harry snapped. He took a few steps back and folded his hands over his chest. "What should I listen to, Severus? You trying to justify a desire to beat me for a thrill? No, thank you."
"That is not what I am suggesting," Severus hissed, narrowing his eyes as he rose to his own feet, using his height to his advantage as he glowered down at Harry. "If you would stop jumping to conclusions about my motivations, and allow me to explain, perhaps you would actually understand."
"I understand plenty more than you give me credit for," Harry retorted, retreating towards the fireplace without turning his back to Severus. "Though I guess you still think I'm just another dunderhead without a brain, if you think I'm going to let you hurt me. I know what that stuff is all about. Getting off on beating people..."
Severus folded his arms over his chest and arched one eyebrow, his tone calm and level as he said, "I do not recall making any reference to beating you."
"You didn't have to!" Harry turned away from Severus finally, stuffing his hand into the bowl of Floo powder on top of the fireplace mantel, not caring when he spilled quite a bit of it onto the rug in his haste. "I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am-"
"That assertion is debatable at the moment."
-I know what that S & M stuff is about," Harry finished through gritted teeth, ignoring Severus's dig as he flung his handful of powder into the fireplace. "I'm leaving. Don't be here when I come back."
"Harry-" Severus tried, but before he was able to finish, Harry disappeared into the flames. With a resigned sigh, Severus dropped himself back down onto the sofa to stare at the now-empty fireplace.
"It's not normal, is it?" Harry stared at the fire burning in the marble fireplace, the hints of a scowl around the edges of his mouth still evident. "I mean, he and I are meant to be equals, aren't we? That's the whole point of a relationship, for us to bepartners. And instead, he wants to beat me, or control me..."
"Did he actually say that that was what he wanted?" Draco asked. Lifting his wine glass, Draco watched the reflection of the firelight flicker on the burgundy liquid as he swirled it, glancing at Harry over the rim.
Harry pulled his lower lip between his teeth and shook his head, still not meeting Draco's eye. "I... didn't exactly give him the chance to explain, before I left."
"Honestly, Potter, I don't know what you're complaining about," Draco said with a small roll of his eyes. "It's all just a different sort of give-and-take, isn't it? Why does it bother you so much?" Harry's cheeks tinted pink, and he pursed his lips, reaching for his untouched drink. "Ah." Draco let out a knowing hum and smirked over the edge of his glass. "Protesting it will not remove the interest, Potter."
"Shove off, Malfoy," Harry muttered, without any real bite to his words. Pulling his hand away from his glass without picking it up, Harry sighed and dropped his head against his palms. "I told him to leave."
"Severus is too stubborn to have actually listened, I imagine. He's spent far too much time trying to find a way to bring this up with you to be run off by your tantrum." Draco smirked when Harry raised his head and levelled a glare at him. "Talk to him. He's been trying for four months to give you clues, and ultimately trusted you enough to bring it up outright. If you cannot discuss it with him now, after all your talk of being partners, then the problem is not with where his interests lie."
Harry had the decency to flush in shame at Draco's sharp words, and despite himself, Draco flashed the barest smile at him out of sympathy as he stood. "Just discuss it. You may be surprised with the results. And for Merlin's sake, both of you need to find a real therapist. This is all more insight into my godfather's sexual practices than I ever needed to have."
Harry nodded, a faint smile pulling at one corner of his mouth.
"Now, if you don't mind, some of us have things to do in the morning." Draco stood, and waved a dismissive hand at Harry when he began to rise as well. "You're welcome to pass the night in a guest room if you're not prepared to deal with Severus just yet. Just summon Ipsy, and she'll show you to a room."
"Thank you, Draco."
Draco bowed out of the room without another word, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts in the Manor's library. Sighing, Harry leaned back in his chair and let his eyes close while he thought. He'd admitted, at least to himself, that storming out of the house had been an immature approach to Severus's suggestion, but the idea had startled him, and in his panic, he'd acted rashly. When Harry opened his eyes again, his gaze settled on the flames still flickering in the fireplace while he turned his conversation with Draco over in his mind.
He did have at least a passing interest in what Severus had mentioned, although how far that extended, and whether it aligned with what Severus actually wanted, Harry wasn't sure. The idea that Severus might actually be into much heavier things than what Harry himself was curious about worried him, as well as the reality that he may have run Severus off with his reaction before he left. Frowning, Harry eyed the ornate bowl of Floo powder on the mantel before he shook his head and pushed himself to his feet. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his trousers, Harry opened his mouth to call for Draco's house elf, when his fingers brushed against something cool and smooth in one pocket.
Harry drew the object out of his pocket and couldn't help but smile as the flat stone found its way naturally between his thumb and index finger, his thumb settling into the small imprint in the surface. It had become an unconscious habit to drop the stone into his pocket every day since Severus had given it to him, three months earlier; but he drew it out so rarely that Harry often forgot he had it on him until after his need for it had passed.
"It dispels chaos," Severus had said, when Harry asked about the particular type of stone. The swirls of purple, green, and other colours in the flourite had captured Harry's curiosity as soon as Severus had handed over the gift, and he'd spent quite a bit of time simply turning it over in his palm to examine it. "It is also rumoured to encourage rationality, which, I am convinced, you still sorely need."
Chuckling as Severus's words sounded in his mind, Harry rubbed the stone between his fingers and felt himself begin to relax. After a moment of standing there, doing nothing but continuing to worry the stone in his hand, Harry looked up at the mantel of the fireplace again. His gaze settled on the Floo powder for the second time and, curling his hand properly around the stone, Harry reached the other into the pot and tossed a pinch into the flames, returning home in a swirl of green.
Severus was lounging on the sofa when Harry stepped through the Floo. The knit blanket that Molly had given Harry for Christmas the previous year, which Severus had always pronounced to be as garishly done as any of her sweaters, was draped around his shoulders, and Harry smiled. Severus had always referred to that as 'Harry's blanket', since Harry tended to reach for it first whenever he felt a chill. With so many other blankets tucked up in the narrow linen closet in the hall, Harry accepted it as the small gesture it was; that Severus had wanted something ofHarry's with him while he waited out the time on the sofa.
"You didn't leave."
Pushing the blanket off himself, Severus moved to sit upright, watching Harry with a guarded expression. "I am familiar with your penchant for rash and dramatic behaviour. I was uncertain whether you meant it."
Crossing to the sofa, Harry sat himself on the cushion beside Severus, leaving a bit of space between them as he folded his hands in his lap. "I did." Severus stiffened beside him, and Harry rushed to add, "When I said it, I mean, not now. I'm glad you stayed. It's just... I was panicking, and I needed a bit of time. I'm sorry."
Severus didn't speak, but he did nod to acknowledge Harry's words. With a soft sigh, Harry shifted closer to him until their legs pressed together. When Severus made no move to pull away, he relaxed and tipped his head onto Severus's shoulder. "Are you still open to discussing this?"
"Are you intending to listen this time around?" Harry nodded, and Severus wrapped one arm around his waist, then, pulling him closer to his side. "Contrary to your assumption earlier, I did not suggest S & M with the intention of ever beating you. I occasionally enjoy inflicting a bit of pain, but my preference is for lighter play. It would, however, play a part in punishment, if we were to incorporate more of a dominant-submissive dynamic to our relationship."
"What exactly would that entail?" Harry asked, his nervousness evident in his tone. His hand began unconsciously worrying the stone he was still holding between his thumb and finger, and he caught Severus's small smile out of the corner of his eye.
"You still keep that foolish trinket?"
"I wouldn't call it 'foolish', if I were you." Shifting closer to Severus's side, Harry relaxed slightly when Severus's arm tightened around him. "If I hadn't had it on me, I might have spent the night in one of Draco's guest rooms, instead of coming back. And besides, it's something from you. Why shouldn't I carry it with me, when that's what it's meant for?"
"Sentimental Gryffindor," Severus murmured.
The words were without a trace of asperity, and Harry smiled. "Absolutely."
"You're sure that you can't stay here?" Harry asked, hovering near the fireplace while he watched Severus finish tugging on his boots. "I mean, you could Floo back and forth easily enough, couldn't you?"
"We have been through this, Harry. I am Slytherin's Head of House. I cannot be absent from my rooms every night; my students need to be able to reach me whenever necessary. And even if I were to relinquish that duty, Minerva would never allow me to live so far away from the castle."
"Why not? She didn't always live on the grounds," Harry groused. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the mantel with a frown, causing Severus to roll his eyes.
"I believe a home in Hogsmeade is rather different than living in London, Harry. And she was not Head of Gryffindor House at the time."
"I know, but-"
"Enough," Severus interrupted, his voice no louder than it had been, but the firmness of his tone silenced Harry all the same. He pushed himself to his feet and smoothed his hands over his robes before he raised his face to meet Harry's gaze again. "We've discussed this enough times already; we both knew what my returning to Hogwarts would mean for our relationship."
"I know," Harry sighed, crossing the room to stand in front of Severus. Settling his hands against Severus's chest, he leaned in to rest his cheek on the other man's shoulder and relaxed when Severus's arms circled around him. "I just hoped there was more we could do to work around it, is all."
"You will survive for a month without me," Severus said, and Harry smiled at the faint hint of teasing in his tone. When he started to pull away, Harry leaned up to brush a brief kiss against his lips before he stepped back for Severus to move.
"You'll owl?"
"When I am able." Harry nodded, doing his best to mask his disappointment until Severus grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him in for one more kiss.
"Do stay out of trouble," Severus said after they broke apart. Tossing a pinch of powder into the grate, he turned back to meet Harry's eyes once more before stepping into the Floo, a smile flitting across his features just before he disappeared from Harry's view.
Severus's owl arrived just as Harry was charming the dishes from supper to wash. The bird swooped in through the open window and dropped the letter on the kitchen table, stopping only long enough to accept an owl treat from Harry before departing again. Harry frowned as he watched it disappear out the window, wondering for a moment why Severus hadn't asked it to wait for a reply, before he shook his head. Plucking up the letter from the table, he made his way into the sitting room and dropped himself down onto the sofa, sprawling out along it as he tore open the seal on the letter.
A small smile pulled at the corners of Harry's mouth as he began to read. The letter was brief; Severus had left only that morning and, judging by the hour, had sent it a mere couple of hours after arriving at the castle. He'd gone into a short diatribe about the state of his lab and the 'useless' abilities of the house-elves when it came to properly polishing the cauldrons. As he neared the bottom of the letter, however, Harry's eyes widened and his hands clenched around the parchment. Harry re-read the lines thrice over before he was able to believe that his eyes were not playing tricks on him, and he took a shuddering breath to calm the suddenly rapid beating of his heart.
As I am sure you will have noticed, I did not ask the owl to await a reply from you. That is because I have decided to leave you with an assignment for this evening. I will expect your owl tomorrow to inform me whether or not you obeyed.
Tonight, I want you to touch yourself for me. Bring yourself to orgasm for me.
Only for me.Harry's cheeks heated as he read the words over one last time and then folded the letter, setting it firmly aside on the low coffee table in front of the sofa. His gaze lingered on the innocuous piece of parchment, Severus's order still running through his mind. Forcing himself to turn his eyes away from it, Harry stared up at the ceiling for a moment before he squeezed his eyes closed. He'd agreed to try what Severus wanted, but the instruction had caught him by surprise.
There was no denying its appeal, however, as his erection pressed insistently against the front of his trousers. A small shiver worked its way through Harry as the last three lines looped through his mind again, and he imagined Severus murmuring the words in his ear. Slicking his tongue across his lips, Harry brought one hand to the fastenings of his trousers, tugging down the zip and then lifting his hips. He lowered himself back down onto the sofa cushions with his trousers and pants pushed down around his knees and let out a soft moan as he closed his hand around his stiff cock.
Moving his hand slowly over his length, Harry let his mind wander until it settled on the memory of the previous evening. He and Severus had fallen into bed in a tangle of limbs, pressing fevered kisses to every inch of flesh on the other that they could reach. When Severus's mouth had closed around him and taken his full length in one swift motion, Harry had nearly come then. Groaning at the memory, he pulled his hand away from himself to sit up and wrench his shirt up over his head and toss it carelessly to the floor.
His legs kicked out of his trousers as he laid back against the sofa once more. Harry brought his hand to his prick, stroking himself with a firm grip as he pulled that memory to the front of his mind again. Severus's lips had sent fire spiralling through him, and Harry's flesh began to tingle at the memory of it. Bucking his hips as he slid his hand faster over his cock, Harry's free hand scrabbled at the cushion beneath him.
'Bring yourself to orgasm for me.'
A low moan escaped Harry as the line from Severus's letter came to mind again and he lost his grasp on the memory he'd tried to focus on.
He shivered as a new fantasy began to form in his mind, urged on by Severus's order, still burning in the back of Harry's mind. Without thinking, Harry increased the pace of his hand as he continued to touch himself, pulling his lower lip between his teeth as he bit back another moan. An image of Severus watching him from the seat beside the sofa swam behind his eyes and made his face heat, just as his cock hardened further in his hand. Harry imagined Severus's eyes on him, watching every movement of his hand or flex in his muscles as he writhed beneath his own touch, his lover looking at once disinterested and ready to devour him.
Harry was unable to hold back the needy moan that escaped him then, and his body began to tremble as his orgasm rapidly approached. He was vaguely aware of his fingers scratching at the sofa as he struggled to grasp onto something, his face turning towards the chair as though Severus were actually there to see him. Keeping his eyes firmly closed, Harry let himself fall deeper into the fantasy until he heard the last of Severus's letter ringing in his ears.
'Only for me.'
"Oh Merlin, Severus!"
Harry's voice hitched into a cry as he came, spilling over his hand and onto his stomach. His body trembled in waves as he slowly came down from his orgasm, melting into the sofa. When a chill rippled through him, Harry brought himself to finally crack his eyes open, unable to help the small twinge of disappointment that his fantasy of Severus had been exactly that. Pushing himself upright, Harry muttered a cleaning charm while he gathered up his clothes, his gaze settling again on the letter still resting innocently on the coffee table.
Taking a deep breath, he reached out and snatched it up, holding it tightly to his chest as he made his way to the bedroom.
Harry's breathing sped up in anticipation when he spotted one of the Hogwarts owls soaring towards the kitchen window. The two weeks since Severus's departure for the castle had settled them into a routine of passing a few letters throughout the day. Most evenings had brought an order from Severus, always similar to the first he'd been given, but during their morning exchange, Severus had mentioned moving Harry on to something new tonight.
Letting the owl in, Harry quickly offered up a treat for it and took his letter, clutching it tightly as the bird took off again. He dropped himself into a chair at the table and took a deep breath to calm himself before he unfolded the parchment. Unlike Severus's other letters, this one contained only the order, and a shiver rippled through Harry as he read it.
Transcribe a fantasy in detail for me.
Something you believe you might like to experience in the future, no matter what it may be.
I'll expect your owl in the morning.
His hand trembled slightly as he set the parchment aside on the table and slumped against the back of his chair with a ragged breath. The order wasn't entirely unexpected – Severus had asked more than once over the previous weeks what Harry had thought of as he came. But Harry had hoped that his obvious discomfort with sharing details like that would hold Severus off from pushing.
Swallowing nervously, he glanced at the letter out of the corner of his eye and pulled his lower lip between his teeth. He entertained the thought of not responding at all, for a moment, but quickly discarded the idea. If Severus trusted him enough to be open about his desires, Harry owed him more than to just blow off his request without an explanation. Shaking his head, Harry pushed himself to his feet and began to pace the kitchen floor, turning over his other options in his mind.
He could owl immediately, and hope that his letter would reach Severus before he retired for the night, to explain his discomfort. He could just as easily wait and send the same missive in the morning, when the owl would be guaranteed to find Severus awake. Harry worried his lip as he weighed the two ideas before ultimately dismissing both with a sigh.
Stepping up to the table again, he reached for the parchment and read the short order over for the second time. Another shiver worked its way along his spine, and despite himself, Harry felt his pulse quicken as he considered obeying.
It wasn't that he didn't trust Severus enough to be open with him, only that sharing his fantasies – especially now, after they had begun to change with the new development in their relationship – seemed more intimate than it once would have. They had never discussed the specifics of what Severus enjoyed in too much detail, which left Harry at risk of voicing a desire that his lover didn't share. When the realisation that Severus had likely thought of the same possibility, and had still sent the order, struck him, he began to relax at last.
Harry drew his wand as he dropped himself back down into his chair, Summoning parchment and a self-inking quill from the study. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to settle himself, trying to rid himself of as much of his nervous energy as possible. Slicking his tongue across his lips, he chose the first fantasy that came to mind and began to write, before his nerves caught up to him again.
I'd like you to blindfold me, I think.
I don't want you to just put it over my eyes and start in on me, though. I want you to make me wait for it. No talking or touching at first, just leaving me there in silence, waiting for you, until I start to forget how long it's been since you put the blindfold on me. And then, when you finally move or speak, it's different, because I can't
see you. I don't know where or how you're going to touch me until I feel your hands, or your mouth, or something else on me and I-Harry paused to take a shuddering breath. His pulse was racing as he scratched out the words, and his half-hard cock was already beginning to strain against the fabric of his pants and trousers.
-can't do anything but just feel you.
You'd keep me guessing, too, I know it. You wouldn't give me a chance to predict where or how you'll touch me next. One hand pinching my nipple and the other stroking my arm, one moment, and then you pull away and move to other parts of me entirely. Maybe the next touch is with your mouth, somewhere I never would have expected, and then you scrape your teeth against my skin.
Dropping his free hand beneath the table, Harry flipped open the button on his trousers and tugged down the zip. He tucked his hand into the waistband of his pants and closed his fingers around his erection, shivering as the fabric of his pants scraped over the sensitive head as he pulled himself free.
I wonder whether it would be better for you to restrain me instead of letting me touch you in return. It would be so tempting to reach for the blindfold, and I know you wouldn't let me take it off, but I don't want to ruin the mood by giving you trouble like that. But I'd want so much to touch you that I know I'd struggle against any kind of bonds you used.
I'd need something to keep me still, though. Something to hold me so that both of us can focus on what you're doing to me, without having to worry that I can interrupt...
Harry let out a soft groan as his hand stroked over his length at a teasing pace, an image of himself tied to the bed beneath Severus at the forefront of his mind. He could see himself the way that Severus would – flushed and panting, trying to squirm out of his bonds even while leaning into every caress of lips and fingers against his flesh. Clenching his other hand around his quill, he tried to focus on the letter through his haze of arousal.
I'd want you to talk to me during all of this. Whispering things to me while you touch and tease me. Tell me what you want to do to me. How you're going to take me like that. Tease me until I'm desperate, and then prepare me so slowly that I start to beg for you.
When you finally do give in, I-
Whimpering as he stopped himself, Harry bit down on his lower lip as his indecision got the better of him. He stilled his hand on his cock as he looked down at the parchment in front of him, the tip of the quill hovering just above it. Severus had never been anything but gentle with him, knowing how much Harry appreciated slow, leisurely lovemaking. Whether it was entirely due to Harry's preference or not, however, Harry wasn't certain.
After a moment longer, his desire to come and a determination to follow through with his task as honestly as possible pushed him to bring the quill to the parchment again and finish out his description.
-want you to take me hard.Fuck me, Severus. Claim me, mark me, anything you want. I want you to be rough. Make me feel possessed – like I belong to you.
I'd writhe under you while you take me, begging you for more with every thrust. Pleading for you to touch me.
I want you to make me beg to be allowed to come...
Harry dropped the quill as though it had burned him and quickly pushed it and the parchment away. He settled back in his chair and squeezed his eyes closed with a shuddering breath, working his hand over his cock at a desperate pace, biting his lip to muffle the sounds of his whimpers. It only took a few more strokes for Harry to come, spilling over his hand with a strangled cry.
Collapsing against the back of the chair, he waited for his breathing to gradually settle again before he opened his eyes. He studiously avoided looking at the parchment while he cast a cleaning charm and stood up to right his clothing. When he finally brought himself to look at it, his cheeks were burning with embarrassment. Swallowing back the wave of nervousness that washed over him now, Harry plucked up the parchment and made his way to the study to seal it in an envelope and send it off with his owl, before he could change his mind.
A month after he left for the start of term at Hogwarts, Severus stepped through the Floo into Grimmauld Place. No sooner had he gotten his feet under him than Harry flung himself into his arms, wrapping his arms around Severus's neck and clinging to him.
"I've missed you," Harry whispered against Severus's neck.
"Clearly."
Harry smiled and drew back a bit. His cheeks tinted pink as he looked up at his lover, suddenly feeling self-conscious as he remembered the content of their letters over the previous weeks. To his relief, Severus's arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him flush against his chest again.
"I've missed you as well." Tracing one hand up along Harry's side, Severus's expression took on a leering edge that sent a thrill through Harry. "Shall I show you how much?"
"Yes." Harry's breathless answer caused the corner of Severus's mouth to twist upwards in amusement, and he found himself being pushed back towards the sofa. When the backs of his knees hit the cushions, Severus gave his shoulders a gentle push and he sat. Severus laid his hand on his shoulder and guided Harry to turn and lay back across the sofa before joining him, sitting astride Harry's waist and leaning down over him.
Severus's hands slipped beneath Harry's shirt, pushing the fabric up over his chest. Without being told, Harry leaned up and raised his arms, allowing Severus to tug the garment off and drop it to the floor beside the sofa. As he settled back down against the cushions, he shivered beneath Severus's touch. Harry breathed a soft sigh of pleasure as Severus brushed his thumb over one nipple, and his breath hitched as his lover then pinched the nub sharply between his fingers.
"Severus..." His voice pitched towards a whimper, and he moved one hand to rest on Severus's bicep. Rather than pull back, Severus twisted his nipple and Harry clenched his hand on Severus's arm with a hiss, starting to push at him. Leaning down over him, Severus brought his lips beside Harry's ear and quietly shushed him.
"Trust me, Harry."
He didn't release Harry's nipple, nor apply any more force to it, and with an uncertain look, Harry gave a stiff nod and eased his grip on his lover's arm, and Severus offered him a pleased smile as he released the pinch. With a gasp, Harry's eyes widened as the pain quickly melded into a pleasant tingle that went directly to his cock. Harry pressed himself up against Severus with a needy sound, earning himself a low chuckle in response.
"You enjoy that, then?" Harry nodded. "Good. Perhaps we should see what other sort of pain you enjoy."
Harry visibly swallowed, his body trembling with anticipation. "What do you have in mind?"
Severus smirked in answer and pulled away, ignoring Harry's whine of protest. Nudging Harry's legs off the sofa, he positioned himself on the middle cushion and gestured for Harry to move. When he sat up, Severus reached behind him and tangled one hand in his hair, pulling him forward. Harry let out a soft, disappointed whimper when Severus's hand slipped free of his hair a moment later.
Settling his hand in between Harry's shoulders, Severus pressed against him until Harry realised what he wanted. He lowered himself across Severus's lap and shivered as Severus's quiet hum of approval reached his ears. There was a whisper of magic around him and his clothes disappeared, leaving him bared for Severus's view. His nervousness beginning to settle in, Harry started to squirm away until Severus laid one hand on the base of his spine.
The touch wasn't rough, but firm enough to be taken as a warning, and Harry stilled. He slowly relaxed as Severus began to stroke his hand over the small of his back in a soothing gesture, tracing his other hand over Harry's arse. Turning his head to lay his cheek against the sofa, Harry let himself melt beneath Severus's touch until the first smack of the other man's hand against his arse caused his breath to catch in surprise. He wasn't given time to protest before Severus delivered another smack to the opposite cheek, the blow rocking him forward slightly.
To his surprise, he felt his cock twitch as Severus delivered several more swats to his arse, and a few to his upper thighs. His flesh warmed slowly with each strike, the faint sting of them building into a steady thrum of pain. A particularly hard blow landed against one side of his arse, causing his cock to harden further even as he cried out in pain. Without realising, Harry ground his hips down against Severus's lap, catching himself only when Severus swatted his hip in reprimand.
"Stay still," Severus ordered as he smoothed his hand over the curve of Harry's arse. "I haven't finished with you yet."
Harry shivered at the tone in Severus's voice and took a deep breath, tensing after a moment as he anticipated another strike. When it fell, he cried out in pain and tried to move off of Severus.
"Settle, Harry. It hurts more because you tensed; if you relax again, it won't be quite as bad." Harry let out a quiet whine, and Severus moved the hand on the base of his spine in a petting gesture until he was able to relax again. The next blow came a moment later, as hard as the previous had been, but with a slightly less painful sting. Harry sucked in a sharp breath when Severus brought his hand down three more times with increased force, rutting against his thigh when he stopped.
"Please," Harry breathed. Severus's hand roamed over his reddened arse, drawing a soft whimper from Harry as he ground down against him again. "Merlin, Severus, please..."
"You'll have to be more specific with what you want." The smirk in Severus's tone was obvious, and Harry let out a groan, burying his face against his arm, mumbling something unintelligible. "Speak up."
"Touch me," Harry said, a little louder, his voice pitching towards a whine. "Please, Severus, I need you to touch me..."
"That's a good boy. Up, then," Severus ordered, helping Harry sit upright and pulling him into his lap, ignoring the pained sound Harry made as his reddened arse rubbed against the rough fabric of Severus's trousers. Pulling Harry back against his chest, Severus wrapped his arms around his waist, letting one hand dip down to close around his leaking cock. Harry immediately melted back against him with a low groan, bucking his hips up into the touch.
He could feel Severus's erection through his trousers, and began writhing in his lap to grind his arse against it. Severus hummed in approval and turned his face in towards Harry's neck, nipping at his flesh while he quickened the pace of his hand over Harry's cock.
"Fuck, Severus," Harry breathed. He reached one arm back to wrap around Severus's neck, turning towards him and moaning when Severus claimed his mouth in a fierce kiss. The hand on his cock moved faster, squeezing him with each stroke. Harry broke away from the kiss to bury his face against Severus's neck, his breath coming in rapid pants as he continued to writhe beneath his lover's touch.
"Please," he whimpered after several moments, starting to tremble in Severus's lap. Severus's breathing was as ragged as his own, and he met Harry's gaze with dark eyes, causing Harry to shiver and swipe his tongue across his lips. "I need to come..."
Severus's answering growl sent a powerful tremor through Harry, his eyes falling closed and his pulse quickening at the sound.
"You want to come for me, Harry?"
"Yes..."
Harry felt Severus shudder behind him before the order came, rough and breathless in his ear. "Come for me."
Clawing his hand at Severus's shoulder, Harry bucked up into his hand one last time as his body went rigid. A sharp cry burst from his lips as he came, spilling himself over Severus's hand. Severus tightened his other arm around him, clutching him close as he collapsed back against his chest, struggling to control his rapid breathing. The tell-tale tingle of a cleaning charm rippled over him and he peeked his eyes open after a moment to find Severus gazing down at him with something akin to fascination.
Harry smiled up at him before a thought struck him and he started to turn in Severus's lap, reaching to fumble with the fastenings of his trousers. To his disappointment, Severus caught his wrists and pushed his hands away with gentle pressure.
"You don't want me to...?"
"There's no need," Severus told him, attempting to turn Harry again. Instead, Harry pulled his hands free and tried to open the other man's trousers again, whining in frustration when Severus stopped him a second time.
"Why won't you let me touch you?" Harry asked in an agitated tone. "Did I do something wrong? I thought you were as into that as I was..." He ducked his head uncertainly as a blush rose in his cheeks, and Severus reached out to tuck a hand beneath his chin and tipped his face up.
"I was, Harry. Which is why there is no need for you to do anything for me now."
"But you didn't-"
"Yes, I did." Harry's eyes widened, and he blinked owlishly at Severus for a moment before his mouth pulled into an understanding 'oh'. His blush deepened as his mouth twisted up into a shy smile, allowing Severus to pull him into his lap again. "You should be quite proud of yourself for that. I had thought I was beyond such a youthful display."
Without turning, he could hear the smile in Severus's voice, and Harry shifted his shoulder back to nudge him. "You aren't that old, you know."
Severus chuckled, leaning in to rest his chin on Harry's shoulder. "Perhaps not. Being with you does tend to make me feel less like the old 'bat of the dungeons', at least."
Twisting around to look at him, Harry grinned, pressing an awkward kiss to the corner of Severus's mouth. He felt Severus smile before he pulled back to rest his head against his shoulder, snuggling back against his chest with a contented sigh.
The Monday evening following Severus's return to Hogwarts from their weekend, Harry nearly toppled his chair over in his rush to get up and open the window. Rather than the usual letter the owl carried, a small parcel dropped onto the kitchen table, and Harry watched the owl soar back out without awaiting a reply. His hands trembled with anticipation as he approached the table, dropping himself back down into his chair and pulling the parcel closer. The wrapping fell open to reveal a small box, and Harry's breath caught in his throat as he lifted the lid to reveal a cock ring. Pulling the folded letter from beneath it in the box, Harry swallowed and tore his gaze away, already feeling his cheeks heating with a blush.
It seems that I have evaded chaperone duty for the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend, allowing me to pay you another visit Friday after dinner. With that in mind, I would like to set you a new task to prepare you for what I have in store.
You're to wear the cock ring each evening for as long as you can stand it, before you bring yourself to orgasm. I will trust your judgement in this tonight, Harry; but if you are not holding yourself back for what I deem to be an appropriate amount of time, then
I will set the time for tomorrow.Make me proud.
Groaning, Harry set the parchment down and eyed the ring in the box for a moment before snatching it up as he pushed himself out of his chair.
"What happened to a 'slow introduction', Severus?" he mumbled to himself as he made his way towards the bedroom, his tone only half-serious. A small smile pulled at one corner of his mouth as he glanced down at his fingers curled around the cock ring, and he shook his head. He had been reluctant at first, but now that they had started down this road, he had to admit himself, he wouldn't have things any other way.
