Disclaimer: needless to say, I do not own Alex or Addison. Damn.
Chapter One: Keep it Loose, Keep it TightShe groaned, wishing to anyone who would hear that she hadn't left her surgery shoes at home.
Sorry. The hotel. But for the nurses whispering sordidly at the attending desk, Addison would have laughed out loud at the fact she was living in a hotel room. She didn't though, figuring there was reason enough to talk about her, let alone giving people the option of considering her psychopathic. Her nose was hurting, her glasses slowly but surely indenting two small grooves into it, the result of too many hours of charts. To top it off, she had her period and was feeling particularly emotional.
Her heels were, she finally concluded, too high, and far too inappropriate for a surgeon. She was amazed at how long it had taken her to ascertain this, but nonetheless, she found herself in Callie's locker, slipping a pair of comfortable (though undeniably hideous) plastic slip shoes. She'd been caught up in reverie most of the day, robotically going through charts, her mind defiantly concentrating itself only on one person, one kiss. A moment of idiocy, she thought dishonestly, refusing to replace the final word with one more synchronised with her thoughts.
"Riffling through lockers again?" someone said, pulling Addison from her thoughts. She swung around, her hand grasping her heart indicating her fright. She knew it was Alex, because she felt her stomach sink so far it may as well have fallen out.
"Karev, you scared me," she said by way of answer, slamming Callie's locker shut and trying to push past. He blocked her exit however, and used his body to guide her to the benches.
"Sit," he said forcefully, and Addison reluctantly complied. "We need to talk." He took her hand, as though to offer comfort, and she visibly flinched at the contact. He looked at her hand that sat, small and lily-white in his. It was, like every other part of her, perfection, or so Alex thought. His hand was warm; she was fairly certain hers was clammy, but the warmth stripped her of any doubts and any trepidation she was feeling. She looked up at him, trying to avoid his eyes, and nodded hurriedly, the way a young child did after being sternly told to behave.
"I don't get you, Addison," Alex said. "You're like a fricken one woman circus!"
"Start at the shallow end, why don't you, Karev?"
"Don't you 'Karev' me," he said. "You swan around in your fricken skirts and your fricken heels and you kiss me at Joe's. And then you say you're not ignoring me but every time I try to talk to you, you flit away calling 'charts' and now you're sneaking around, treading on glass, taking the longest route in an attempt to avoid me. I didn't think you were an avoider. But you are…an avoider," he added as an afterthought. "This isn't what we are, is it?"
We. Addison's stomach lurched. Now she was fairly sure it was sitting on her cleft. Alex just referred to them as we. Surely he meant professional, she thought. How could it be possibly be personal? Though she was fairly sure what she heard didn't pertain to professional conduct particularly. Shit, she thought. I'm overanalysing, and he's looking at me. He's waiting for an answer.
"Umm…" Oh yes. Brilliant. You certainly are a genius, Addison. Her mouth was gaping, like a fish gasping for oxygen. She was convinced that considering her a psychopath probably wasn't to far wrong.
"Fine," said Alex, hoisting himself off the bench. "Fricken fine. Whatever. Screw it." He waved his hand dismissively, and left the locker room, the door slamming behind him, leaving Addison sitting alone, her facial expression unchanged, her ears ringing with his voice – his voice – and the resonating sound of the slamming door.
A/N: So yes, this is a short chapter, but I have written ahead, and they do get longer. Its pretty much Addison, very confused about everything. It's set shortly after 'Great Expectations' by the way. Addison is confused about life and she's confused about Alex and it's just very obvious, because, well she's not wearing heels. She's willing to downplay her image so she can just feel somewhat secure. And then Alex called them 'we'. And that is even more confusing for her. Because she hasn't been a 'we' since Derek and she's finding herself wanting the 'we'. And generally, she's just a little reluctant to commit to anything because she flew halfway across the country and it was thrown in her face, and she invested in Alex and THAT was also thrown in her face. Anyway now I'm rambling…but yes, review and let me know if it's worthwhile to keep going!