Disclaimer: Of course I own them. And if you believe that I have some ocean front property in Southern Illinois I could sell you...
That being said, it's 1:15 in the morning. I've been reading this document for the last three hours so that means I'm seeing my story the way it's supposed to be not the way it actually looks. So if you see any errors you'd like to pass on I'd be grateful. Then again, flames would not make me grateful. That would just hurt and I don't really like pain so be nice please. Okay, moving on. Yes, this is slash. If you don't like it don't read it. Thank you!
Living the Dream
"Daddy! We're ready!"
Adam walked into his daughters' room, smiling at the picture his children made, snug in their beds, and surrounded by a menagerie of stuffed animals.
Eight-year-old Amber blinked her large brown eyes at him. "What story are you going to read us today?"
Ten-year-old Alyson grinned at him. "I know a story I want to hear."
"What's that sweetie?" He sat on the end of Aly's bed so he could see both girls, filled with warmth at the tangible proof of his and Rocky's commitment to each other.
Aly handed him a photograph and he laughed, partly at the image and partly because he could see Rocky in her smiling face. "Where did you get this?"
"I gave it to her," Rocky said, coming in from the hallway, and joining his family by sitting on Amber's bed. "Rainy Sundays are meant for reminiscing and I think the story of our first date is the perfect story before nap time," he said, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. The twinkle in Rocky's eyes made him laugh again. He sat for a minute, gathering his thoughts. "Rocky and I have been best friends for a long time, since kindergarten. We drifted apart during high school and that was how our relationship stayed until we were twenty-eight and Rocky came to see me."
The doorbell rang, disturbing the silence and causing Adam to drop the bottle he was holding. "Great," he muttered wearily. He dropped a rag over the spilled beer, ignoring the bell when it pealed again. He went to the door by the fourth ring, wishing whoever it was would give up and leave. His week had been long and hectic, and the weekend was glaringly empty in response. At least they had gotten a conviction on the case he helped present and one that he could celebrate to even when he felt like going to sleep for days.
He pulled the door open and froze. "Rocky? What are you doing here?" He swung the door open farther to let him in.
The expression in Rocky's eyes flickered before he smiled sheepishly. "Has our friendship changed so much that I can't come for a visit?"
"No! That's not what I meant…"
"Relax, Adam, I was just teasing." The laughter in Rocky's eyes sent a thrill zinging to his toes. That reaction, combined with several others, had been why he hadn't fought it when he and Rocky began drifting apart. After they became Rangers, he grew closer to Billy and Rocky became closer to Tommy and after Rocky gave up the power and they graduated, their relationship had become nothing more than a quick email or phone call just to catch up. And now Rocky was here. And those feelings hadn't quite gone away. It made him fear that one day, some day soon that he would end up losing control, kissing Rocky, effectively ending whatever relationship they had left. The loss of their friendship would kill him. He couldn't let that happen.
"Adam?" The sound of Rocky's voice and the feel of his calloused hand on Adam's arm startled him from his thoughts.
"Hmm?" he replied softly, enjoying the feel of skin on skin contact, the first he'd had from Rocky since high school.
"I asked if you were okay?"
"Yeah, rough case."
"I read about it in the papers. Do you want to talk about it?"
Adam glanced at him quickly, the tone in the other man's voice confusing him. "Not right now, but thank you. I'm just searching for…" his voice trailed off, unsure of how to end his thought, unsure of what he actually was searching for.
"Peace?"
He cocked his head thoughtfully. "Peace. That's good enough." Love, his mind provided and was ignored. Love from this man for the rest of his lifetime, his traitorous mind wouldn't be still. He shook his head. "So? How come you visited me? Not that I mind, but I assume you have a reason."
"I was wondering if you wanted to go to my parent's cabin with me. You can take the weekend to relax and maybe you'll find what you're looking for."
Adam swallowed hard. It almost sounded as if Rocky were flirting with him. Maybe he was projecting his feelings onto Rocky's actions. "Sure, just let me pack some stuff."
He hurried from the room, unaware that Rocky was smiling at his retreating back.
They made small talk on the hour drive. Rocky told him some humorous stories about the students in his karate school and Adam told some stupid crook stories which made Rocky grin but when they finally reached Lost River, Rocky glared at the darkening sky. "The weather report said nothing about rain," he muttered crossly. "Guess this means rock climbing is out."
Adam frowned, but didn't ask. He hadn't known Rocky was into rock climbing. He wondered why he hadn't mentioned it. Adam had started in college and tried to keep up on it on his free time which was close to never anymore. "C'mon. Let's get our stuff inside." He grabbed his bag from behind the driver's seat of Rocky's Jeep before sliding out. "Do you have anything else?"
"Nah. I've been planning this for a while," his voice was soft and Adam, again, almost asked.
They walked inside in silence. Rocky seemed to be expecting something and Adam was too confused to try to figure out what that was. Something was happening, something unexpected, but maybe he was just reading it wrong.
The atmosphere inside was a lot more welcome than outside and no sooner had they stepped inside that it started raining.
"We just made it," Rocky commented. He flipped on the lights in the living room, room glowing in the soft lights. "If you want, you can go pick your room. I'm in the one at the end of the hall." He smiled. He couldn't wait until Adam got a glimpse of the rooms. He went into the living room, preparing to light a fire. He'd laid the kindling earlier with the plan of bringing Adam back with him. His hands tightened on the matches. For better or worse, this was the weekend he chose to share his secrets. He struck the match, ignoring his shaking hands, and the fear that twisted his stomach. What happened if he'd read the signs wrong? If Adam couldn't handle his announcement? What was he supposed to do then?
The laughter, rolling in from the hallway, distracted him from his grim thoughts. He smiled at the sound of Adam's uninhibited laughter, aware of what caused it and where it was located. He came into the room that had been his whenever his family had stayed in the cabin. He leaned against the door jam, looking at Adam grinning at the walls. The exhaustion had momentarily eased from his face which was why he hadn't warned Adam was he was walking into. He was hoping it would give him release. The perverted part of him thought of another kind of release he was hoping to give Adam before the weekend was over.
"What happened here?"
"Katie. She decided she wanted to be an interior decorator. She badgered Mama until she got control of a couple rooms to do over and this is the outcome. Yeah," he sighed indulgently, "Mama made her paint over the black spots that she called the seeds."
Adam grinned. Rocky's twenty-year-old sister had always marched to her own tune. He vaguely recalled that this strong shade had been her favorite color as a kid. "How many other rooms did she do?"
"All the bedrooms."
Adam heard the laughter threading the edges of Rocky's voice. "Uh-huh. Are they all as bright?"
"She calls it her fruit salad days. Banana, apple, grape, watermelon, lemon, orange. Unfortunately, with seven kids there were a lot of room but thankfully, we eventually ran out."
Undone, Adam sank on the bed and laughed. He fell backwards on the bed still laughing. Rocky sat on the bed and put his hand on Adam's knee. "Just let it out, Adam."
Eventually he quieted but he kept his arm over his eyes. "It was a rough case," he whispered harshly. "I didn't realize it was going to hit me so hard." He fell silent, lost in his thoughts. Rocky stayed next to him in case Adam needed him.
Finally, Adam sighed and sat up, wiping at his eyes. He stopped, caught by the sight of Rocky's hand on his knee.
Rocky watched Adam closely; cataloguing the tear tracks, the easing of the frustration, and he was weakened by Adam's vulnerability. He opened his mouth and choked on the words. So he did the only thing he could. He ran.
He shot to his feet and hurried to the door. "Feeling any better?" Adam nodded. "I'll start supper, come out when you're ready." He withdrew from the door, frowning as he walked away. 'Idiot' he groaned silently. How was he ever going to get through this weekend when he was too afraid to try?
Adam poked his head into the other rooms, grinning at the outrageous color schemes. But, strangely, he could see how the colors complimented different members of the DeSantos family. Maybe Katie wasn't as out there as he'd once thought, though she didn't use the sibling's room that she chose the color for. He just couldn't see Rocky as bright pink. He opened the door at the end of the hall, finding Rocky's current room done in bright green. Lime, maybe.
His stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn't eaten in a while. He followed the scents into the kitchen where Rocky was putting the finishing touches on dinner. "Sorry, I hadn't realized I'd taken this long."
"It's okay. I've gotten pretty good at fixing spaghetti so that's what we're having." He set the dishes on the table. There were bowls of spaghetti, meat sauce, salad, and garlic bread. "Help yourself. What do you want to drink? We have beer, water, or soda."
"Beer." He dished up his plate, inhaling deeply. "It's nice to eat someone's cooking other than my own. Of course, mine doesn't look as good as yours." After Rocky fixed his own plate, Adam took a healthy bite of spaghetti. He moaned at the taste of Maria DeSantos' famous spaghetti sauce. "Oh, man. Is this your mom's sauce?"
Adam opened his eyes which had closed after tasting the sauce and looked at Rocky. His jaw was ticking and he had a strange look in his eyes. "Uh, yeah, Mama taught me how to make it. When I do, I'll make a huge pot and bottle it up so I don't have to worry about it every time I make pasta." He ducked his head, refusing to look at Adam. That moan had almost driven him to his limit. He cut into his own food, praying for the meal to be over soon so he could have time to regroup. Otherwise, he was going to make a pretty big fool of himself.
After dinner, they walked out onto the porch, carrying a six pack of beer. They settled onto the porch swing with the beer between them and they each took one. "Thanks for cleaning up after dinner, Adam."
"Hey, you cooked and I cleaned. Balance. I can't expect you to do every thing while we're here."
Rocky smiled. He took a swallow of his beer, and stared into the night. He felt Adam's eyes on him but he didn't speak.
"I have to ask, why didn't you ever tell me you go rock climbing? I mean, how long ago did you pick it up?"
Rocky shrugged. "A couple years ago I guess. It sounded like fun when you talked about it so one day, I tried it. It was exhilarating. As for why I didn't tell you, well, I was going to but I wanted to get better first and once I did, you had quit going as much. There's not really a reason, I just didn't."
Adam nodded. He didn't understand why it was such a secret but that was Rocky's reason, he would accept it.
Silence again. This time it was laced with expectation. This was it, he thought. He had to do this but Adam spoke again. "What did you mean you've been planning this trip a long time? I thought you came up here a lot so why did you have to plan anything."
"You ask a lot of questions, you know?" he laughed softly. "My parents are giving the place to us kids to help with the upkeep and I wanted to check out everything to see if there were any handyman tasks to handle." He stood abruptly, startling Adam.
"Is something wrong?" he rose to his feet to look at Rocky, warily.
"Yes, there's something wrong. I've been lying to you, to myself, to anybody who ever asked me. I couldn't stand it anymore. I gave myself a deadline but then I got scared. What if it doesn't go the way I'm hoping?
"Rocky! Spit it out."
"I gave you the chance to get married, have kids, and settle down in the straight life. I found myself obsessively reading the papers, just to glimpse your name, just so I'd know what you were doing because I couldn't talk to you without wanting to be with you, I couldn't see you without wanting to love you. This may ruin our friendship but I can't, no, won't go on any longer without you knowing how I feel. I love you, Adam."
Adam stared at him, speechless, afraid that that this was a dream, something that once he woke, he could never recover from. At the resulting silence, unaware of the struggle Adam was having speaking, the spark in Rocky's eyes dimmed. "Nothing, huh? I'm sorry." He walked into the rain, breathing hard, struggling not to cry. He wouldn't wish he could change what he'd just done but losing Adam was going to be the hardest thing he'd ever gone though. His heart felt like it was breaking.
"Wait!" Strong hands yanked him around and held his arms tight. "What give you the right to say this to me and then walk away? Haven't you guessed the reason I couldn't respond was that it was something I've wanted for a long time but was unsure of how to ask for it? We've been in each other's lives in one form or another since we were six. You've been my friend, my rock, the man I've wanted to strangle. Loving you is as natural to me as breathing but stick around, don't just walk away when you get scared."
The tears Rocky had been holding back rolled down his cheeks. Adam smiled and letting go of Rocky's hands, wiped the tears and rain from his cheeks. "I love you, Rocky. I just hope you'll give me a lifetime to get the knack of loving you just right."
He moved in slowly, loving the way Rocky's body trembled against his, from arousal or from the rain he wasn't sure and didn't care. He tilted Rocky's chin slightly. "Nothing, huh?" he whispered and the corners of Rocky's lips curved. He rubbed his fingers against Rocky's lips. "You had so much to say earlier; don't you have anything to say now?"
"Yeah. Shut up and kiss me."
He leaned forward, pressing himself against Rocky's body. He wrapped his arms around Rocky's waist and pressed his lips against Rocky's. Rocky's mouth was soft and he felt Adam moan against him. They kissed in the rain until they were both wracked with shudders from the cold. Adam pulled Rocky inside and into his bedroom where…
"OKAY!" Rocky interrupted. "Let's not finish that thought. Let's just say we took safety precautions and leave it alone. It was a wild first date. The next one we went on was much more traditional. Make your date take you out to a good restaurant. That way you can figure out if they're cheap or not." They smiled at each other warmly. "I don't know why you insist on pushing the whole safety thing. You know one day the girls are going to be awake and have a lot of questions on what that means, don't you?"
Rocky reached out and clasped Adam's hand. Their fingers linked and Adam smiled. "I like messing with you, baby. I would never talk about that in front of them." He looked at their girls with a soft smile. "Would you have ever imagined twelve years ago that this would be our life?"
"This may not be what I saw for myself growing up but I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be. We're living the American dream, Adam. We have someone to love, two beautiful kids, a home, and good jobs." He glanced at the girls and when he looked back at Adam, the fire in his eyes burned hot. "I think we should leave the room and have our own nap time."
Adam grinned and stood in one swift motion hoping the girls wouldn't wake up soon. He pulled Rocky to his feet and led him towards the door. "Good idea."
Aly opened her eyes, watched her fathers' leave the room and she smiled, still willing to take a nap even though she didn't need them any more. She loved the tale so much she was willing to do it.
Her fathers had that argument every time they told the story of their first date. The safety talk confused her but she knew better than to ask because this version of the story was the best and she didn't want it to change. She hoped that one day she would find a person to compliment her as much as her fathers did each other.
Aly grabbed the photo on the end of the bed and placed in on her beside table before snuggling down in the bed. It was of Adam and Rocky, arms wrapped around each other, and smiling brightly at the camera, dripping wet.