Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi and I'm too tired to come up with something witty right now. Don't judge me.

So anyway, although I strongly disagree with the theory that Nuriko is gay, in this story he is, okay? Okay. Don't judge me. Also, this story is kinda dirty. Not lemony dirty, but limey dirty. Yeah. Not at all like the kind of stuff I normally write, but in a weird way, it's the exact same. I dunno. It's 1:33 AM as I write this; I'm getting some pretty strange thoughts. Again, don't judge me.

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Ouch. My head hurts.

Nuriko resolved to stay in bed untill his massive hangover passed, or at least passed a little bit.

Note-to-self: NEVER agree to drinking competitions with ANY of Tasuki's friends EVER AGAIN.

The purple haired seishi felt a slight nudge to his right, but took no notice of it.

I am so yelling at Tasuki for talking me into going to that stupid party. There were absolutely no cute guys there that weren't named Kouji, Tasuki, or Nuriko. Stupid liar.

He felt the nudge again, this time accompanied by a soft grunt.

Or at least- I don't remember any cute guys...Come to think of it, I don't remember anything that happened after I agreed to that stupid drinking contest with that stupid girl.

There was more movement, and out of the blue someone put a hand on Nuriko's bare chest.

Eek. Cold. Wait...Cold...? Where is my shirt? WHERE ARE MY PANTS?!

The thought of being naked in bed with someone was enough to make him go wide eyed, at least untill he realized how bright it was in the room.

What if it's someone ugly?! EEW!

He sat up quickly and closed his eyes, partly to avoid contact with any harmful morning rays and partly afraid to look at whoever was next to him.

Oh Suzaku, please tell me I didn't DO anything! Why can't I remember anything? Oh yeah. Sake. Lots. This sucks. Really bad.

Nuriko's thoughts were broken when a voice behind him mumbled something about "Helluva hangover" then greeted, "Mornin' sexy."

The seishi turned, still worried, and stared into a pair of crimson eyes.

Very familliar crimson eyes.

Nuriko surveyed the person in bed with him with both horror and recognition, from the vivid orange hair, to the one-of-a-kind smile, all the way to the shape of the nekked body underneath the thin white sheets. Embarrassed, he lowered his head and began to twiddle his thumbs.

"Er...Did we...?"

"Sure did. An' ya know what? You. Are. Like. A. God."

Nuriko scowled. "Where are my clothes?" He asked irritably, and his alleged 'mate' waved towards the bathroom. He quickly snatched up the top sheet, wrapped it around himself, and started towards the restroom.

"Ya know, ya really dun gotta do that. Ain't nothin' on ya that I ain't seen...Or touched, for th-"

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out." He stuck his head out of the bathroom. "But I'm shy." He pulled back in.

"Ha! Shy my ass! Not tha way ya-"

"Oh my God shut up!" He stuck his head out yet again, quirked an eyebrow, then burst out laughing. "Oh my...You don't know I'm gay, do you?"

There was an akward silence. "Hun, yer not gay, trust me."

"Yes I am..." Came Nuriko's sing-song voice from the bathroom.

"Well if yer gay then why'd-ya sleep with me?" The orange haired woman shot back defensively.

"I was drunk..." He sang again. "Thanks to you," He added flatly.

"Oh, no prob. I had tha night-a my life, so come get me next time yer drunk."

Nuriko strode out of the bathroom, now fully dressed. After tightening his sash, he put his hands on his hips and glared. "Well that right there is a good enough reason for me to never drink again."

The woman shrugged, muttered 'Have it yer way, then', and took her turn in the bathroom. Not long after, she came out, fully dressed, and looked Nuriko up and down.

"Ya know, they say that bein' drunk brings out yer innermost wants. Whaddaya gotta say ta that, sexy?"

Sexy rolled his eyes and shifted the weight on his feet, feeling a bit akward. "I hafta say that it's a load of bullshit. You don't seriously believe that, do you?"

The woman grinned and leaned in close, her lips brushing against a blushing Nuriko's ear as she whispered, "Maybe...Maybe not..."

He couldn't help but notice that she was roughly a half a foot shorter than him and that her hair smelled like a sweet but sweaty strawberry (which, by the way, is an alliteration).

Dude...you're losing your mind...He thought as she was walking away, clearly attempting to be seductive- and it might have worked, too, had her target actually been interested in girls.

"Uh...Wait!" He called out as she was in the doorway. "Where do you live?"

This was enough to make her walk back, and she stood strikingly close again. "Why?" She asked, a smirk tweaking her lips.

Nuriko blushed again. "Cuz...uh..." Dammit! Why did I hafta go and do that?! "Well, I dunno," He stated truthfully.

"I live here, at Mt. Reikaku. This's my room. BUT. You insisted on not usin' protection, so if I turn out pregnant I'm movin' in with you."

With those final words of wisdom, mystery girl left Nuriko alone in the room.

Nuriko sweatdropped when her words sunk in after a minute of confusion.

"Damn! I musta been totally wasted last night!" He left and began on his short journey to the palace, all the time muttering about how stupid Tasuki was and how stupid he was.

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Moral of the story? ALWAYS USE A CONDOM.

XD I'm sorry I had to say that! I can't help myself. Don't judge me.

Now, be UTTERLY HONEST, at the beginning, if you thought it was Tasuki that he woke up naked with, raise your hand (and then tell me in a review if you raised your hand or not, cuz I really have no way of knowing.) If you payed attention, you'll notice that I avoided mentioning that it was a girl untill the "I'm gay" scene, and I made her look and sound like Tasuki.

But anyway, it's not over yet! Please review, because it has been proven that the more reviews I get the more guilty I feel for taking forever to update, hence I update sooner.