Taking the Piss
He meets Aldo in Italy. Aldo stabs an Italian soldier in the face to save him and he kicks some dick in the nuts when he starts making trouble with Aldo in the bar afterward.
They get along together great. Click really.
In a totally not gay way.
When Aldo comes to him with the mission all he needs to hear are the words killing and Nazi and he's in.
Two days in France and Donny thinks that what he misses the most about non-basterd life is toilet paper.
They're already successful as far as Nazi killing goes. He's three scalps and five Nazi's ahead of everyone save Hugo. But Hugo never counts because Hugo's the type of guy who's just made for Nazi killing. Fuck banking or painting or any of that pansy shit. Hugo gets to be good at something undoubtedly cooler than any of that.
He uses the bat the first time mostly to save ammo. Why use a good bullet on a Nazi when you can do the job just as well with a bat?
Plus, he kinda sort of misses baseball and in this lousy, croissant-eating country, bashing guys heads in with a bat is the closest thing he's going to get to the sport.
After the steal more guns and ammo from a Nazi patrol he keeps doing it for the style. What could be more awesome than killing an ugly, goo-stepping Nazi with something as purely American as a baseball bat.
When he begins to make a habit of it the entire group applauds him for his showmanship.
That is except for Hirschberg, who says that the baseball bat is probably some sort of Freudian way of making up the small size of his penis.
Donny responds with a pronounced middle finger and all Hirschberg does is laugh and go back to cleaning his gun.
He doesn't ask to be named the Bear Jew but he likes it all the same. It carries an aura of ass kicking that he finds quite gratifying.
Hugo and Wicki of course finally go out in an indubitably badass way, leaving him, Aldo, Omar, and Utivitch to deal with the mess they left behind.
In all honesty Donny isn't surprised, Hugo and Wicki were good enough guys but he couldn't really see them doing much after the work. Hugo and Wicki just weren't the type of dudes to live out bread and butter lives as dentists or bakers or whatever.
From what the von Hammersmark chick has told them they did manage to go out in a truly basterdly fashion.
Shooting of some Nazi balls is just such a Hugo thing to do.
At the end of the day he's stuck sitting with Omar watching some god awful German film with twenty sticks of dynamite strapped to his legs.
Not the coolest way to die but at least there'll be an explosion.
He had hoped to do this with Aldo. Omar is well enough on the field but in Donny's own opinion the guy is a bit slow, not the sharpest knife in the drawer and all.
Not that it really matters now anyway.
Besides, Aldo Raine or no, they're defiantly going to take a couple of very important Nazi asses with them when they go out.
They hadn't planned for the theater to spontaneously combust, but then again, they hadn't planned for a whole lot of things.
Besides, the more the merrier when it comes to Nazi killing.
Donny spends his last few minutes firing into a crowd of screaming Germans and loving every second. He's going out in style.
Years from now, when little kids are learning their history, they're going to hear stories of Donny Donowits, the Bear Jew basterd who took out Hitler in a blaze of bloody glory.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
Fin.