Trapped Will
Chapter 1: Reluctance
By Lovely Bouquet
I raised the radio's volume so that it would drown out my shrieks.
Reluctantly, I dipped the knife back into the anti-septic solution that was mixed in an old ice cream tub. I then lifted the knife back out of the water solution and flicked off the drops. The little afternoon sun that managed to break through the window blinds glinted softly on the knife, as if I was crazy and believed it was trying to appear welcoming.
'Crazy…' I chuckled.
If anyone opened the door, 'crazy' would be the first thing on their mind. Maybe that's what I am. A normal person would ceaselessly fight their fear until they found someone else to fight it for them. Who did I have to fight for me? How could I let my friends help me when a greater harm would only come their way?
Repressing those thoughts, I lingered the knife's tip over my right thigh. I grabbed some tissue to dab up the blood which had been welling up. I fought the pain and proceeded to deepen the slit.
As I lengthened the pocket under my skin so that it was almost two inches long, my whimpers had become increasingly difficult to stifle. Thanks to the radio, no-one outside the bathroom would be able to hear, and at two inches, I was done and leaned forwards to toss the knife into the china sink. A few droplets of blood flicked off the knife to blemish the white china.
Tentatively, I opened a small envelope that sat on the cupboard next to the toilet I was sitting on and pulled out the small, silver, square device. I dipped it in the antiseptic solution, fearful to leave it for longer in case the wound began to heal, then pressed one edge against the newly formed slit.
I squealed and freed tears as I slowly forced the device into the wound. A sudden knock at the door startled me.
"Tea? You in there? Com'on, it's important!" Joey's excited voice travelled into the bathroom.
Shit.
A/N: Thank you for reading this! The following chapters will be longer as this was an introduction to the story. I hope you enjoyed it so far, but if you didn't, feel free to leave criticism and if you did, I would appreciate your feedback as well! I have the whole story planned and will begin on the next chapter tonight, so I hope you enjoyed this because I am enjoying writing it