Title: Goddammit, Tony. Tony, goddammit.

A/N: The title, as well as the idea, was taken from a Tumblr post. I don't remember the user's name to can credit it, but if it is you who did it, then I have to thank you for such an amazing idea. And credit you, as well. So, yes, as you may already notice, this is a fanfiction book, which means that it is written from Rhodey's POV as his own autobiography.

Also, English isn't my mother tongue, and I don't have a beta for this story, so I have to make do with my, well, not-so-poor English skills. However, if you happen to find any glaring mistakes, don't hesitate to tell me about it.

~ Dedicated to my mentor and best friend~

As a person, I'm awkward when it comes to starting off a new conversation. Writing the introduction of a book isn't an exception, either. But, I guess, that as in each conversation, even if I don't know if anyone's going to read this, but whatever. I should start off with a short presentation of myself. It sounds easier than it truly is, trust me.

Perhaps you already know me. Either from the local channels, or perhaps you've met me personally, in the past. Either way, I will get this first, unimportant part done. My name is James Rupert Rhodes. But more than half of the people that know me, probably you, too, know me as Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes. You know, that short-haired, dark-skinned guy who saves Tony Stark's ass every time? Well, that's me. But, for the purpose of this book, and for the simple fact that not even a single copy's gonna reach a superior's desk, you can call me Jim. Or if you want to do it the Starker's way, you can call me Rhodey.

Sincerely, I don't have the slightest idea why I am actually writing this right now. I'm not a professional when it comes to literacy nor writing something long, especially not a book. Unless it would have been a book about military, wars and such. Then, I would've been a pro. Otherwise, I'm quite a mess when it comes to writing something, especially a book that would, probably, reach billion people's eyes.

Not to mention that this book is supposed to be about me. But, given the fact, that my life wasn't that exciting nor entertaining until I reached a rather mature age, it will turn up being about another person.

You guessed who that person is? No? Alright, then. I will give you a few hints about it.

So, this book is dedicated to a good friend of mine. To a hero. Please, don't let this book reach him, otherwise, I'll never hear the end of it. Let's just keep this between me and you. Well, and my old, barely functional laptop. As well, as the eyes of other billion people. From which, I hope, that friend of mine isn't one of them.

Rings any bells? Yes? Good. You are quite a genius, then.

This book is mostly about that good friend of mine that I've mentioned before. The one that wears that red and gold, ridiculous titanium suit of his. Don't tell him that, either. Yes, the one who's chest is glowing. Or rather, was glowing.

Tony Stark.

He's that mysterious friend of mine. Not really mysterious, but, well, let's just keep it there. For the sake of this book. For now, at least.

Why am I writing this book, and why do I keep it focused on our never ending friendship and not on myself? After all, this is an autobiography. Well, the answer is that, I want the people to see the Tony that I know. Not the snarky, self-centered, heartless and childish man. But, Tony Stark, the kid who could barely carry a stack of books through the campus' hallways. The one that continued his Father's legacy even if he didn't want to. That, perhaps, didn't want to design stuff that blows up and destroy the lives of billion people. Yeah, that kid.

This book isn't about Iron Man. Well, perhaps, we will get to that part, too. But not too soon. This is about Tony Stark, the kid who took over his Father's company at the frail age of twenty-one. That's the Tony I'm going to introduce you to.

And, let me give you a tip; you'll adore him. It's impossible not to. But, keep quiet about that one, too.

With that being said, welcome inside the life of James Rhodes. Welcome to the party.