(A/N: When the plot bunnies bite, they bite hard. This was a challenge given to me by a friend: "Write a story in less than 800 words with the theme of "The Mystery"." So, this AU Naruto story was born. Hope you enjoy!)

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. This storyline/setting thing is owned by me, however. So no stealing!

The Mystery

It was a quiet night. Unusually quiet, as far as nights go. It was as if the crickets and cicadas had made a pact to keep quiet that night, for reasons unknown. Even the cars seemed to give off tiny putters as they drove past.

Private Eye Naruto Uzumaki was grateful for this.

He'd had a long day. Finding lost cats, locating wallets (not all stolen), and dealing with a very strange assortment of criminals; One of whom knew how to annoy him by calling him "detective". He very much preferred the term "PI". But the "detective" tag had stuck, even though the sign in front of his door very clearly said "Private Eye".

Anyway, Naruto Uzumaki was tired. He was just cleaning up his office, thinking about his nice, warm bed, when the doorbell rang. He scowled, yanking the pipe out of his mouth and laying it on the desk.

"Come in!" He called, sitting down and trying as hard as he could to look professional.

The door was pulled open, and a woman stepped in.

She was in her late twenties; tall and skinny, with frizzy pink hair and jade green eyes. She was dressed in a white blouse and jeans, with long dangly earrings. A string of elaborate, brightly colored necklaces were around her neck, and she wore bracelets that tinkled whenever she moved her hand. A long, red purse hung around her right shoulder. Naruto noted her appearance with a practiced mind.

"Are you Detective Naruto Uzumaki?" She asked

Naruto frowned slightly "I prefer the term PI. But yes, that's me. How can I help you?"

She fiddled nervously with her hands. Her bracelets tinkled "I have a….mystery; One that needs solving."

He sighed "Obviously," he said "Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. What is it? A lost pet, a stolen ID number, tampered merchandise maybe?"

The women paused "It's a little more complicated than that." She muttered.

Naruto looked at her expectantly.

"Well," She began, hesitantly "I was told you could solve anything. So, I want you to solve this for me: The Ultimate Mystery."

Naruto raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

"No one's ever been able to solve this for me." She continued "And I was hoping you would be able to. Why am I here?"

Naruto was confused. "Umm...you're here because you want me to solve something." He wondered if this woman was a nutcase.

The woman chuckled "No," She responded "That's what I want you to solve. Why am I here? What am I to do in this life? I have lost everything and everybody I know. My friends hate me. My…" Here, she paused, eyes glazed with the memories of her past. Naruto noted a possibility of trauma and a dark, tragic past to his ever-growing mental file on the woman.

She regained her senses after a moment. "So…" She tapped at the desk nervously. "I want you to find out what my fate is. If everything I knew is gone, what am I really meant to do?"

Naruto's eyes shot open wide. Whoa! Hold on! She wanted him to solve something like that?

The woman saw his expression "Please help me!" she begged, wringing her hands. Tinkle went the bracelets. "This is something I really want to know. Please help me figure out my destiny! I want to know my purpose!"

Naruto leaned back on his desk, overwhelmed. He started fiddling absentmindedly with his pipe. He thought about this new problem some. What could he possibly say to something like that? It wasn't the normal type of case he usually got, and this woman appeared desperate and may have been a little unstable. But he was Naruto Uzumaki, and he never gave up on a case.

Finally, he leaned forward. "You tell me." He said

The woman looked confused "What?" She asked curiously.

Naruto sighed "This is not something I can solve." He said "The only person who can find the answer to thatparticular mystery is you."

The woman shook her head "No!" She said nervously "I came here because I don't know how to solve this."

"Yes." Naruto said with a frown "However, this is no ordinary mystery. There are no clues, no evidence, and no way of piecing together any findings. This is something that has no logic involved. This is a mystery that can be solved by no one but yourself. If you keep on going like this, asking people to solve it for you, you will never get the answer."

There was a silence. The night's hush seemed to augment it, to make it almost deafening.

Then the woman spoke up, softly "Do you really think I could do that?" There was an almost cynical quality to the question.

Naruto nodded "I know you will" He replied confidently.

The woman looked at him "What about you? Have you solved your own mystery?"

Naruto smiled "Me? I don't matter. I haven't really got something like that. A destiny, I mean."

The woman smiled, a sudden, crazed glint in her eye sparking to life. "Oh, I think I know where you're going with your life." She reached into her red purse and pulled out a gun. A long, black, shiny gun.

"Say hi to Sasuke for me."

A shot filled the silence, and echoed off into the night.

Outside, a cricket chirped.

END

(A/N: …Yeah. Did not mean for this to take that direction. Well, it was fun, ne? Brr..insane Sakura is kind of freaky. And why the heck do I torture Naruto so much in these random AU stories of mine? Poor guy.

Anyways, please REVIEW with any thoughts, comments, or questions and if requested I could expand it a little :)

Thanks for reading, and 'til next time!)