Author's note:

Hi! This is our first fanfiction! One of the important things about reading this and any other fanfiction we may post in the future (Yes, there are two of us, Thennie and Hermie) is to abandon all reality, sanity and some prior knowledge of a character's (God's) personality. Just assume that they're all crazy.

There's not really any warnings to give you... Seeing as the gods cannot be killed, but there may be a few... references... and Dionysus... and Zeus... and Hades.

DISCLAIMER: We DO NOT own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or The Heroes of Olympus series. All rights go to Rick Riordan. This is a fanfiction written by fans for fans, for free. We do not gain anything from this, except our own enjoyment.

And possibly reviews

Quiet, Thennie. Go read a book

Chapter one

"Alright, everyone." Zeus cleared his throat after a long Olympian council meeting. "Thank you, Hermes, for your presentation on the latest in the crime and sports news. It was very... Interesting..." He nudged Hera, who had fallen asleep beside him. She jerked awake.

"What? Oh, is it my turn? Oh, alright." She stood up and smoothed her dress. "Listen up, people! I have a very serious announcement to make! I-" she paused. "What are you three doing?" Hermes, Apollo and Ares were pooling money between them.

"Placing bets, Oh Uttery One." Apollo mocked. Hermes snickered.

"Please tell me it's on sports!"

"Sorry, Aunty Utters, but this is about your latest piece of αλαζονικό για μια ώρα!" Hermes explained, laying down a ten dollar bill on the table. On the opposite side of the table, Demeter snickered. Hera glared at them.

"I do NOT rant for one hour, you little freak. And besides, today I have a topic worth all your godly ears!"

"If it's about your newest little game with mortals that will end up saving the world and gods, better have it out now." Athena said, not looking up from her National Geographic.

"She's got a point!" Hephaestus added. "I haven't seen much action in a while."

"Well, you'll get some if you don't shut your trap!" Hera barked. "And put that Nintendo away! Don't think I don't know you've been playing Mario Kart under the table, mister!" The god of forge laid his 3DS on the table and held his hands in the air.

"I have to admit, Hera. You do know how to spark entertainment!" Aphrodite pointed out.

"I would pay to come see this every day!" Artemis added from her seat. "Apollo, you're good at thinking of stupid names. What would you call this?" Her twin grimaced and smiled.

"Having a Cow with Hera."

"JUST SHUT UP OR YOU'LL BE JOINING YOUR MOTHER ON THAT ISLAND, YOU HEAR ME?" Zeus placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Calm down, honey. Remember what your anger management councillor said; deep breaths. I'll explain." Ares fist pumped as he took all the cash from the pile and shoved it in his pocket.

"First off, has anyone else besides me noticed how this building sticks out like a turd on my nice, marble floors?" All eleven gods raised their hands in agreement. Zeus seemed taken back by the number of smart people. "Well, glad to know that we're all on the same page. As I was saying, I think that its best we move on from this location and to a new one."

"WHAT?!" Ten voices yelled back at him.

"But, Dad!" Hermes jumped from his seat. "This is the Mother Board of my business!"

"So many books!" Athena yelled.

"Cable and Wi-Fi!" Apollo added.

"Some of the best American wineries!" Dionysus threw in.

"Meh, do whatever the Hades you want." Artemis scoffed, fixing the string on her bow.

"Did someone say my name?" came a low, odd voice from behind her. Artemis shrieked and leapt onto the table.

"Gods, Hades! Don't do that!" she yelled. She slunk back into her throne, embarrassed, as the other gods laughed at her. Hades walked over to Zeus's and Poseidon's thrones.

"Good to see the old Sashimi and Franklin again, eh? I got the message, and I have to say that I like California. Lots of work, great for business and awesome Broadway shows."

"Did you see the latest Circle du Soleil?" Apollo asked, rising from his seat. Hades nodded.

"Actually, it's Cirque du Soleil." Athena corrected as she moved on to a newspaper. "Circle du Soleil translates as Circle of the Sun."

"Who cares? My circus, my grammar rules."

"Can we please get on with the meeting?" Zeus asked, and the room fell silent.

"Now, we will be visiting each of the seven continents of the world: Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, Antarctica, North America and Australia. Anyone in the North will be hitting Canada and returning Season Three of Hercules Busts Heads to Boreas."

"Wait, everyone?" Ares asked. "You mean, we aren't all traveling together, right?" Zeus nodded.

"You'll be going in pairs." In an instant, the room was divided in half: One side wanted to go with Athena and the other with Hermes.

"SHUT UP!" Hera yelled from the head of the table. Everyone stared at her. "Thanks!"

"We will be drawing names, and I already have them all written down here!" Zeus held up several folded cards. "Now, all we need is a hat..." Zeus looked at Hades.

"Touch the Helm, and you're in for the Swirly of your life, little bro."

Zeus looked at Athena.

"No. Battle helmets. For rent."

Zeus turned to Hermes now.

"Hermes?" He asked, smiling.

"Bite me, pops. I just had it cleaned." He clutched his winged helmet over his head.

"Daddy! There's a problem!" Apollo called. Zeus sighed in frustration.

"First, it was okay for you to call me Daddy when you were little, Apollo, but now it's just getting irritating! Second, NO you will NOT be with Artemis! Last year's Olympus Field Day's Three-Legged Race proved that you two cannot work together at all!"

"Actually, I meant to say that there are only thirteen of us." Everyone in the room gasped and covered their ears. "I mean, we don't have enough of us to have pairs in each place. We need one more person!" He corrected himself. Everyone sighed in relief.

"We could drop Hades!" Artemis voted.

"No. It's his job to think if the dead will like it or not. Hermes can't do all the work around here!" Zeus said.

"Well, who else could we ask?" Poseidon asked.

"Persephone!" Demeter yelled.

"Sis!" Hades called. "It's February. She's mine for another month, remember?"

"What about Hecate?" Athena asked.

"She's got a cold." Hermes said. "I had to bring her some medicine yesterday."

"Iris?"

"Nah. You CAN'T have a peaceful, uninterrupted conversation with her. EVER!"

They spend the next five minutes discussing possible travel aids, but all other gods were either too busy, annoying or were on Zeus's bad side and not willing to move.

"Now I've got a headache!" Hera tapped the bell the gods kept at the head of the table during meetings. A few seconds later, Hestia walked in carrying a tray with twelve glasses of water and a pile of freshly baked cookies.

"Refreshments!" She said. Then she noticed Hades. "Oh, Hades! I didn't know you were coming! I'll go get-"

"Hestia! Oh honorable older sister!" Zeus called.

"Yes?" Hestia could feel a very big favor about to be asked of her.

"How would you like a trip around the world?" Hestia's eyes lit up.

"You're not... Serious, are you Zeus?" Everyone in the room savored the moment. This was probably the happiest anyone had ever seen Hestia when she wasn't baking muffins.

"Yes!" Zeus said, walking over to her and patting her shoulder. "And all it'll cost you is... THIS!" He pulled down Hestia's hood. A large gasp erupted from the gods; Hestia wore a shocked expression, Athena looked up from her Telegraph Journal and the boys began slapping money on the table. Zeus stuffed the papers into her hood. Hestia covered her head with her hands. Rule Number One about living with Hestia: Don't take off The Hood.

"Z-Z-Zeus... What-What are-are you-ou d-d-doing?" she stuttered.

"Just give me a minute, Hesty." Zeus began to pull names and continents as Hestia cried in protest.

"Zeus, no! Stop, put it back on please! My ears- my head- ZEUS IF YOU DON'T PUT MY HOOD BACK ON THIS INSTANT I'LL TELL HERA ABOUT YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT THURSDAY!" she dropped her tray to the floor. The glass shattered and broke the commotion. Zeus let go of her hood and she pulled it over her head.

"I-I-I'll g-g-go g-g-get a-a-a broom an-n-nd mop..." Hestia sniffled as she left the room. Apollo passed ten dollars to Hades, who tucked it in his inside coat pocket.

The gods glanced across the room at each other, finding their partners.

"Alright, here's the deal!" Hera said, resting her hand on the large hourglass Hestia had somehow carried in the room by herself. "You have five hours to check out the hot spots of your continents. Come back here after you're through and we will have a discussion!" Fourteen gods went into Supernova mode and teleported off to a new place, where they will be faced with language issues, excited gods, pure frustration and, worst of all, each other.

How's that for a first chapter? We will start showing the pairings for the continents in the next chapter, HOWEVER, if you have any suggestions for what kind of shanigans the Gods should get up to in each continent that would be fantastic! (please don't request a pairing. we actually drew these ourselves, witohut looking, in a complete unbiased fashion. we aren't lying, as hard as it is for Hermie not to)

But, for foreshadowing... A certain goddess of wisdom and a certain father of mine-

Hermes

Quiet, Thennie! You finished that book?

Yeah. The next one needs to come out sooner.

You can wait until Fall, just like all the normal people.

But I'm not normal...

I know, honey, neither am I