Hello everyone :) This story begins a few weeks after the worst couple. Beck and Jade are a mess. Their friends are trying to make things as normal as possible at school, but with Jade and Beck not speaking to each other it's hard to stop things from being awkward. Bade fluff to come eventually but starts of sad and dramatic.

Disclaimer: I don't own victorious

Becks POV

Just 10 more minutes. 10 minutes until i'm home and can drop this act. Calm, emotionless Beck. It's so hard to be that when all I can think about is how crazy i'm going without Jade. I lost her and it was the stupidest thing i've done in my life.

19 days ago I left Tori's house and waited for Jade to show up at my RV. She always stormed over here after we'd had an argument. No matter how angry we were with each other we couldn't stay away from each other for long. I expected Jade to be furious with me, not opening that door was pretty low. Things would get loud and messy and angry but we would have been together, we would have stopped all this stupid arguing, apologised, loved each other again... But it got later and later and she never showed. With each hour that passed the sickening feeling of guilt grew and I regretted my decision more. At this point I didn't care about her behaviour recently, I just wanted to apologise. But she didn't come.

The next day I waited outside Jades locker with her coffee as I always did. I hadn't slept at all. I don't think our friends actually realised how much time we spent together, we were constantly talking either in person or texting and it wasn't unusual for her to just show up at my RV in the middle of the night because she missed me. Not speaking to her made me realise I shouldn't have left her like that and I seriously needed to make it up to her. As I was in a trance thinking about Jade, I didn't hear the footsteps approaching me.

'Hey Beck' Tori said enthusiastically, snapping me out of my trance.

'Oh.. hey Tori' I replied anxiously, looking over her shoulder for Jade

'Are you okay?' she asked looking at me sympathetically, When I left her place yesterday I was kind of a mess.

'Yeah of course' I lied.

'Do you want to meet up later to do the history assignment?'

'I errr..' I began but completely lost track of our conversation. Jade had walked in and was heading towards us. She was about 10 foot away when she finally noticed me and she stopped. We studied each other for what felt like a really long time. I saw how tired she looked, she looked like she hadn't slept at all either. Her eyes were full of hatred and hurt and she stepped backwards away from me as though she couldn't stand to be near me. That was when I realised this wasn't just some little fight we were having - I had really hurt her and we really had broken up.

'Beck whats going on?' Tori asked me nervously but I couldn't reply. My eyes were fixated on Jade. Jade continued to back away and span around quickly bumping into Cat. Cat's smiley face dropped instantly and she frowned at Jade.

'Shit' I said quietly under my breath as I realised what was going on. Cat glanced at me worriedly as she pulled Jade who now had covered her face with her hands by the arm out of school. I couldn't believe what i'd done. Had I made her feel like that?

I hadn't even noticed Andre and Robbie showing up. I turned to my three friends who all looked very awkward. They didn't know what to say to me and after a long awkward silence they tried to change the subject. I was in complete shock and I hated myself for not opening that door. Jade never cried and especially not in front of people at school. I discarded the coffee and walked to class alone. We didn't see Cat or Jade for the rest of the week.

When I saw Cat in the corridor a week late, relief washed over me and I pulled her into the Janitors closet, begging her to tell me what was going on. I had tried to phone Jade so many times but she wasn't picking up and she wasn't replying to any of my text messages. I went directly to her house once but noone answered when I rang the doorbell.

'You've really hurt her' Cat said sadly.

'Please, she's not answering my calls, she's not coming to school, please can you ask her to talk to me, come to my RV anything!' I begged.

'Just leave her alone Beck' Cat said walking out of the closet. I made my way to Sikowitz' class. I grimaced, I only ever sat next to Jade. I just stood there examining all the seats until eventually Andre waved me over and pointed me to the seat next to him. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or devastated when Jade entered the classroom that day and took a seat next to Cat. She looked so sad and I just wanted to wrap her up in my arms, kiss her, tell her how sorry I was. But she wouldn't even look at me.

As the day went on, Jade was obviously finding it harder not the cry. Watching her try to keep it together was heartbreaking and by 4th period I was just about ready to lose it. Jade once again sat as far away from me as she could in our Drama class. I just stared at her.. wanting any sort of response from her. Eventually she glanced towards me and our eyes met but she looked away quickly and blinked away some tears.

'I can't handle this Tori' I mumbled quietly to Tori who was sat next to me. I stood up grabbing my bag and headed towards the door.

'Beck! Where do you think you're going?' I heard the teacher calling after me but I kept on walking. I just couldn't see Jade like this. I couldn't deal with the guilt or face the consequences of what i'd done and I locked myself in the janitors closet for the rest of the lesson.

'Beck c'mon. Open the door bro!' said Andre rattling on handle of the janitors closet door.

'You need your friends right now, please let us in' I overheard Tori pleading me.

'I'm fine guys, seriously' I shouted back through the door, hoping it was convincing enough. Tori must have told Andre i'd stormed out of class and they'd came and found me. But I just wanted to be by myself. I wasn't fine. I couldn't see Jade cry anymore, it broke my heart. I had spent the past hour trying to figure out how to fix this and nothing. Jade wouldn't let me near her and I couldn't force her. That was when I made the decision to give her space, to wait until she came to me. And thats what i've been doing... for 19 days.

I miss her. Everything about her. I miss her jealousy and our arguments. I just want it to be over. to feel something other than hurt, loneliness or guilt. We'd been fighting so much, constantly snapping, arguing until one of us stormed away. Then I didn't open the door at Tori's and everything stopped. We'd needed space from each other but I had never wanted this.

Jade and Cat sat with us at lunch today for the first time since the break up. Everyone tried to avoid conversations that involved relationships, card games, arguments, game shows, - even just discussing my hair seemed to be a taboo subject. It was so awkward. And although I kept looking at Jade, she didn't look at me. She didn't speak to anyone unless she was being mean, but most of the time she just stared into space. It broke my heart.

I finally got into my RV and collapsed onto my bed. Jades stuff was still here. Everywhere. Even just lying here on my bed was so painful because so many of my memories with Jade happened here. I remember the first time I invited Jade over here and we watched a movie together. She let me put my arm around her and she cuddled up to me and I remember thinking how different this Jade was to the Jade she makes herself out to be. I remembered how perfect she looked when she slept curled up next to me. And how we were here when she first let her walls down and told me how hard things where with her parents and how I held her in my arms and promised her I'd make it all better. What am I doing? Ughhh I need to stop thinking! I need to be numb, I need to forget everything.

Andres POV

I was sat in my room, trying to write some decent lyrics for this new song i've wrote for the next HA show and I thought I was just starting to get into the zone when the doorbell rang. My grandma was already in bed so I ran downstairs and opened the door. Stood there was a very emotional looking Beck. He's been really distant from everyone since he broke up with Jade and I knew it was only a matter of time before he broke down. Beck's always been the calm guy who doesn't worry about anything and pulls everyone else together when a situation gets tough. I guess thats why he and Jade worked together, she freaked out about everything and he didn't freak out enough. But he's not a robot and I knew he wouldn't be able to stay silent for much longer.

'Hi Beck, errr if you don't mind me asking, why are you at my house?' I asked him curiously.. It was already 10.30pm.

'I just want you to know Andre that your the best Andre I know and I think you're reeeeaaallly cooooool' Beck slurred loudly, leaning on the doorframe. He looked completely wasted but it was a school night, he can't have been at a party...

'Are you drunk?' I asked him quietly trying to convince him to lower his voice concerned that my Grandma would walk in and freak out

'Noo! well maybe...' he shook his head.

'Right, ermmm well come in anyway' I said to him awkwardly.

I lead Beck upstairs to my room and closed the door, really not wanting to wake up my grandma. I turned around and noticed Beck had picked up the paper with the song lyrics i'd just been writing. He must have only read a few lines before he put his head in his hands. It was a love song so I guess reading it reminded him of Jade.

'Hey.. whats up?' I asked him. I knew perfectly well what was up, but I needed to hear Beck say it.

'I just... there's nothing... I'm so dumb... I didn't want... ugh!' Beck said obviously struggling to say it out loud. I stayed silent hoping he'd find the words.

'I just miss her so bad Andre' he confessed, barely keeping it together.

'I know you do' I patted him on the back knowing it was difficult for him to talk about this. 'And I know you're been trying to hide how you're feeling around everyone'

'I feel bad for dragging you guys into it'

'We're your friends, you don't need to pretend you're ok when we all know what's going on, Jades not exactly keeping it together around us is she?'

I automatically regretted my words when Beck put his head back into his hands. Jade's been extremely quiet recently and only talks when she has something mean to say. I've kind of figured out that being mean is just Jades way of protecting herself from being hurt, when she thinks no ones watching she's actually really sweet, but she must be on red alert right now the way she's been behaving. She's also been missing a lot of classes and when she comes back its not hard to tell that she been crying.

'I hate myself for doing that to her! I didn't want to make her feel like that - I'm not that guy!' Beck shouted angrily but with tears in his eyes 'I think she hates me man, why didn't I open that stupid door?'

'She doesn't hate you' I replied honestly

'How do you know that?! She's barely looked at me since that day, let alone spoke to me!' Beck shouted,

'Come on bro' I said giving Beck a hug - I think he genuinely needed it 'I'll make us some hot cocoa and i'll get you some water too so you can sober up.'

We sat up all night talking about everything. I'm glad he's finally let it all out. We'd all been expecting him to explode soon. He hadn't actually mentioned Jade to any of us before tonight and he'd been acting like nothing had even happened. Everyone thinks that Jade must be hurting the most. But Beck's a great actor and being cool and calm comes naturally to him. He's good at hiding when he's hurting and although it might come across like he doesn't care, he actually cares a lot. Deep down they both need each other. They just haven't realised how much yet.