Disclaimer: Not mine
AN: This is the first fic i wrote period and it was written
right after the show ended.
AN2: ReReading this, I've realized that I've become a much better writer. So I have gone through and revised this. I think it's gotten a lot better.
AN3: No Brooke's were bashed in the creation of this story
Because I Love You
"Satan, what is it with you that you feel the need to torment me and my friends every chance you get?" Sam had no idea had prompted her to impulsively blurt that question... After all, it's not like she was going to get a straight answer out of the other girl, but for some reason in that moment she felt an almost desperate need to know.
"Why does it matter Spam? Its not like you listen to a word I say anyway."
Taken off guard by that statement, or better yet the sound off Nicole's voice when she'd answered, Sam was momentarily unsure how to respond. The blond had sounded bitter, or was rather remorseful... Maybe even a combination of the two. However, why Nic be feeling remorseful? Something just wasn't making sense."Satan…" Sam paused to sigh, "Nicole I care because 1. it's usually my friends and I get the brunt of your bad moods and 2. I'm not sure exactly how this little... War, feud, whatever started... I mean, I know I didn't help with my constant exposé's on the Amazons but this all can't be blamed on the rivalry between the popular and 'unpopular'. I just, really want to know."
"Sam..." Nic started only to pause and look away before continuing, "do you really want to know?"
"Yes." Was Sam's somewhat hushed reply. 'Why?' Sam thought, 'Why do I feel like I'm suddenly not sure I want to know? And why is my heart racing?'
Still looking away from Sam, Nicole spoke with a noticeable level of resignation in her voice. "It's because I love you, Sam"
"What!" Sam knew the look of shock on her face had to have bordered on comical to the uninvolved outside viewer, but she had been wholly unprepared for that.
"I know big shock... I, Nicole Julian, bitch of Kennedy, Satan's Spawn, Satan Incarnate, Queen Bitch in all her glory... is in love with none other than
Samantha McPherson, leader of the unpopular."
Sam couldn't believe her ears, could Nicole really be in love with her?
"Yes Sam, I know you're not canned food." Nic stated with a moderate level of deadpan in her voice, that did nothing to hide the other feelings present. "It's true, I have been for a while now. I didn't know how to deal with the emotions you evoked in me or even how to adequately describe how I felt... So I buried them and confused it with hate. I didn't realize until it was to late that the confusing mess of emotions I felt toward you were in fact love, not hate. And by that time you already hated me as much as I was supposed to hate you. So I continued the role I had to play, knowing I would never have your heart or even the nerve to confess." Pausing again, this time to realize a huge sigh before making eye contact with Sam for the first time since she'd started talking, she continued. "You do understand though... Along with this confession you have gotten what I assume you've always wanted based on how many times I've heard it... I''m going to leave you alone. Completely. It all stops, no more taunts, arguments, dirty looks... I just don't have the energy anymore and I'm sure you'll avoid me as well, so it'll all work. And don't worry, I'll also give your friends a bit of a break. Good bye Sam.'
With that Nicole turned on her heel and walked away...
Leaving a completely shocked journalist-in-training at a lost for words. The only thing she could form clearly in her mind was, "Nic loves me!"
It had been two weeks since her informative conversation with Nicole, and the blonde had kept true to her word. She hadn't heard from her since and only really saw her from across crowed hallways, or in class...disappearing seemingly before the bells to end class even finished. The only problem with this was she desperately needed to speak to her. Ever since their `talk' all she'd been able to think about was Nicole and the look of raw honesty in her eyes.
There was irony to be found in her situation. Her friends loved the recent turn of events. All mentioning it in their own way. All completely in the dark about the situation. All relieved regardless and wondering why Sam seemed to be the only one getting progressively more anxious as the days passed.
However, Sam was starting to feel desperate in her need to speak to Nic in private and had no idea how to make it happen. She knew the other girl had to have been feeling just as desperate as she in her own way, and Sam also knew she could both of their desperation very easily if she could only get the girl alone.
Because Sam loved her, too
She had always known on some level how she felt about Nicole. After all, no one fought as much as they did with out extremely deep feelings... And no one would be as pained as she often was after delivering a particularly vicious barb, if those extremely deep feelings centered in the world of hate. She knew that her whole relationship with Nic over the years had been purely antagonistic. Give and take, love and hate, push and pull... She just never really acknowledged it. Sam, however knew she wouldn't be able to hide or deny her feelings to herself anymore. Not after Nic's confession.
She was in love, with none other then Nicole Julian.
Part II
'It's because I love you, Sam'
That line had been playing over and over in her head for the past two weeks on loop. Nic couldn't believe she'd told her... God, she didn't even know why she'd told her. Or at least that's what she had been telling herself. But in the end, she knew why. Her eyes. Sam's eyes spoke volumes if you looked deep enough, and when she looked in her eyes she saw a true need to know.
So she told her.
What Nicole didn't know was why? Why would Samantha McPherson, the girl who held complete control of her heart, care what she said or did? Nic entertained the thought
that maybe Sam secretly loved her too and simply needed her to confess first... But then she'd usually wake up from a day dream and realize it was never going to happen. Granted she was aware that the journalist had been staring at her lately during class and at lunch; however, she chalked it up to shock and thinly veiled disgust.
The hopelessness of the situation made her want to cry. Nicole knew she would never hold Sam's heart, yet the brunette would always have hers. 'If only
I'd been myself all along and not the bitch Marly made me, maybe I'd have a chance.' Nic thought, before snorting to herself derisively and speaking into the space that was her bedroom. "Of course I completely ignore the fact that even then, Sam would still be straight."
*ring*
Nicole answered her phone immediately, hating the little part of her that hoped it was Sam while knowing it would be..."Yes, Brookie?"
"Hey Nic, want to go hang out?"
"Sure B, but were?"
"Lets go to the mall"
"All right hun, I'll be right over to pick you up. Bye"
She hung up and looked at herself in the mirror. 'Maybe getting out some will help take my mind of my raven haired goddess' Nicole quietly hoped, while getting her keys and leaving to pick up her best friend... That just happened to being sharing a home with the girl she was actively trying to get over.
"Ok, Nic... What's wrong?" Brooke asked after yet another sigh from her shorter best friend. Knowing the girl enough to know of her longstanding crush on her stepsister and quietly hoping this would be the day Nic would trust her enough to finally open up. Brooke knew something had happened between the two girls as: Nicole had been avoiding Sam at all cost, and had stopped commenting on the things she claimed irritated her about Sam, while Sam had been walking around looking utterly lost.
"Nothings wrong hun."
Was Nicole's immediate reply, getting an even more immediate eye-roll from Brooke.
"Nic, I know you. Much better then you realize. You're my best friend and I know when your hurting"
Sighing, Nicole could only get a single word out before she was being cut off. "Brooke..."
"Alright, Nic look... What if I told you I already knew you were in love with Sam? Could you talk to me then?"
The question was asked as matter-of-fact as Brooke could manage. After all, she knew at the heart of Nicole's resistance to opening up was her fear of losing her closest friend. So what better way to do away with that fear then to proof it has no bearing?
The response was immediate, with Nic almost tripping on air as she spun around to stare at the friend she'd been facing away from. "You do?"
"Yes Nic..." Brooke replied, glad her gamble seemed to be working, "now what's wrong?"
Nic looked down while a single traitorous tear slipped down her face. 'So much for forgetting Sam, while shopping.' She thought to herself, before responding to Brooke. "I told her"
"Oh... Well what happened, what did she think, what did she say?" Brooke had definitely not been expecting that. After all, Nic had felt this way for a while...
"She didn't say anything. She was probably in shock. I just walked away after I told her."
"Nic give her time. Sam does everything in her own time, believe me." She hated to see the defeated look in her best friends face, it just didn't fit and yet it seemed like she'd given up.
"Brooke, come on. This is Sam were talking about, she hates me and I'm supposed to hate her. It's..' Nic started as another tear rolled down her face and she choked on the words that followed. "It's okay, I know she'll never love me and I'm okay…or I will be. So, what do you say we finish shopping?"
"Okay Nic..." Brooke said thinking all the while thing that there was no way she wasn't going to at least talk to Sam about this, "Lets go."
After Brooke returned to the Palace she was determined to help Sam see just how much Nicole loved her. There was so much emotion in Nic's voice when she
talked about the hopelessness of it all and honestly it made her want to cry and she wasn't even the one experiencing the emotion. How horrible it would be to live thinking the only person you could ever love would never love you in return.
That's why Brooke was currently standing outside Sam's door getting ready to ….
*Knock*
*Knock*
`Who knocks at 10 at night?' Sam thought to herself, while going to answer the door. Welcoming the brief respite from her own racing thoughts.
"Hey Brooke what's up?" There was more then a little shock in her voice at the sight of Brooke, after all... What could she possible need to say at 10 at night that she couldn't simply say ing the morning?
"Um…Sam can I talk to you?"
Stepping away from the door to clear the way, Sam merely nodded.
"So what's up Queen McQueen?" Sam joked, trying to lighten the mood. Unsure of what Brooke wanted to talk about and certain she couldn't handle anymore surprises.
Seeing no other way to start this conversation, Brooke decided to just get straight to he point. She figured Sam would at least appreciate. "Sam... it's about Nic."
"Oh." Sam said feeling her plummet. Somehow, she knew it all had to be some kind of horrible joke by the
blond to see how she would react to…
"Sam, she really loves you and I think you should give her a chance. I mean... Who knows? You might even begin... No I'm certain, Sam if you got to know how she really was outside of school I know you'd like her. But Sam you have to at least give her a chance."
Sam felt her heart rate stabilize after being relieved of her brief attack of insecurity, but the feeling of elation almost immediately began to fade again."Brooke, that's the thing. I already like her. More then like her even. I'm in love with her too, but she left so quickly after she told me I didn't get a chance
to tell her. And now she's avoiding me. And I just... don't know what to do." Sighing, she continued. "I just wish I could tell her."
Brooke was speechless. Sure she had wanted this conversation to go well, but this was just a little unbelievable. "Sam... if you're serious you can tell her tomorrow."
"Not that I don't appreciate it Brooke, but why do you care?"
"Sam you're my sister now, and Nic is my best friend. I want you two to be happy, and if you can be happy together that's even better. How could I not care?"
Brooke responded smiling at the slight skepticism in Sam's voice and the happy ending she could now see forming.
"Well thanks... So what's the plan?"
"Okay, I was thinking…"
Part III
Sam got no sleep that night. If all went according to plan Nicole would know how she felt by the end of the day. Brooke's plan was to get Nic
in the Novak alone after school, and have Sam walk in afterward her.
After they were both in and alone Brooke was to lock the door and keep it locked until: 1. Sam told Nic her feelings and 2. made out for
a while... Brooke's words.
Sam was all for making out with Nicole, but she didn't know how she was going to tell her how she felt.
"Come on Sammy get up! I know you're not sleep. Everything will go fine with Nic and by the end of the day you and Nicole will be a couple."
"Broooooke..." It was to early for Brooke's perkiness.
"Saaaaam..." Brooke responded in that same exasperated whine.
"I don't know what to say, how to tell her," and that was the truth. She was afraid she would say something stupid and ruin everything.
"Sam, tell her your heart and she'll understand. And for Gods sake would you at least be a little happy you're about to get the girl of your
dreams?" Brooke asked with a huge smile and walked out of Sam's room so she could finish getting ready for school.
Sam had to smile at that. It was true after all. If all went well, she'd be kissing Nic by the end of the day. With that thought, she got out of bed. "Time for school."
All right, Amazon practice is over. It's time to put the wheels of 'Operation Hook-up' in motion.
"Nic, wait up!" Brooke yelled, while jogging over to the girl heading to the exit. The look she got as Nic paused and turned to face her made her pause herself. 'Wow... she looks kind of adorable when she's confused.. Wait! Stop! Bad Brooke!' Shaking her head, Brooke continued the plan.
"Yeah hun, what's up?"
Still feeling a little surprised at her own random burst of attraction at her friend, Brooke realized she never actually figured out how she was going to get Nicole to the bathroom... So she said the first thing that popped into her head. "I just wanted to tell you that you have lipstick on your teeth!" Once again shaking her head at herself, Brooke just barely managed to hide a snort, 'Smooth...' She thought and hoped Nic hadn't brought a palm mirror.
"Thanks B, I'll go to the Novak and get it off. Wait for me and we'll go to the mall." While walking away, Nicole briefly wondered why Brooke had waited so long to let her know the state of her lipstick... And why no one else had mentioned it.
"Ok," Brooke said with a huge smile that had nothing to do with the mall and everything to do with the plan that was working perfectly.
"What was she talking about? There is no lipstick on my teeth..." Nic muttered to herself.
"I asked her to somehow get you to come to the Novak after school." Sam said from the couch in the Novak.
Nicole jumped and just barely managed to keep herself from screaming. In her haste to check her make-up she hadn't know realized anyone else was there, let alone
that the someone was Sam. Swallowing her trepidation at discovering just what Sam had needed to say to her, she spoke. "Why"
"Because I needed to tell you something Nic." Sam said quietly, praying she didn't screw things up.
Hearing the practically whispered words, Nicole felt her instinctual defensive bitchy nature kick in to try and hide her pain."What Sam? How truly disgusted you are and how you never want to see me again? Because let my save you the trouble and tell you I already
know." She finished, trying desperately to fight down the urge to cry the words she
just said provoked.
"No! God no. Nic, if you would just shut up and let me talk.' Sam, took a deep breath and prepared for what she was about to say. "I love you, Nicole. I'm in love with you."
"What?" Intellectually, Nic knew what she had just heard; however her heart refused to believe her ears had just heard Samantha
McPherson say…
"You heard me Julian. I. Am. In Love. With. You." Sam repeated, feeling oddly empowered and strangely giddy now that she had finally spoken the words. Loving the look of shocked disbelief Nic was wearing. With a smile she continued, "If you had given me time to get over my disbelief that you loved me too instead of running away you would have known this already." Smiling lovingly at her blonde, she wiped the few tears of joy beginning to fall on the blondes face and kissed her gently. "Shh... don't cry,
you're supposed to be happy! I love you, Satan!'
"I am..." Nicole tried to speak but choked on the tears that would not be stopped, "Oh God, Sam I am so happy right now!"
"Good" Sam said simply, "because I am too."
"I love you, Sam." Nic whispered, almost afraid to speak to loudly.
"I know." Was the whispered reply as Sam once again leaned closer...
And they shared another kiss, this one meant to continue the conversation through a series of heartbeats and gasps for air.
Brooke stood outside the door of the Novak crying, "It worked"
fin