Oxytocin has long been described as the 'empathy hormone', the 'cuddle hormone' or even the 'love hormone'. Why? It's because this neurotransmitter/hormone is involved in empathy, trust, hugging, sexual activity and relationship-building.

Chapter 1

This night, the sidewalks in Seattle appeared to be so dim in contrast to the very bright street lamp. A brunette walked out of the Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital and slowly headed to Joe's, the bar that is right across the road of the hospital and a usual gathering spot of the doctors. She wasn't sure if that was a good idea at all. She hesitated as she pulled the handle of the door of the bar. She kept pacing back and forth. She knew her friend got pulled into an emergent surgery and would not be able to accompany her for the next 30 minutes or so. She was scared. It was not her first time going into a bar. She had been to places like this many times. The fact that bars were too familiar to her made her even more afraid. 'I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm about to walk into a bar, but I'm fine now and I will still be when I walk out of this bar,' she reassured herself before going in.

'Oh, Dr. Shepherd. You shouldn't be here,' said the proud owner of the bar, a middle-aged man, Joe, who knew almost all the doctors in that hospitals, as he noticed the presence of Amelia at this forbidden place. That was not an eviction of any kind but rather a kind reminder. He knew about Amelia's struggles with drugs and alcohol. He really didn't want his bar to be the place where Amelia fell off the wagon again.

Amelia noted his good intention. 'I'm just here to check on Arizona. April said she called earlier and sounded so depressed on the phone. April is worried about her, but there was a car crash and she got pulled into an emergency surgery, so she asked me to go check on her. I tried her cell but she wasn't answering. I cannot find her anywhere and I guess she might be here,' she explained.

'Yeah, she's here, again. In the corner,' he put down the cloth that he was wiping the glass with and pointed Amelia to the direction where Arizona was sitting.

Amelia grabbed one of the black tall-leg stools and sit beside Arizona. 'Hey!' Amelia greeted and interrupted Arizona, who planned to pour another glass of white wine for herself. 'You should not be here,' with the little soberness, she still managed to think clearly somehow. 'Yes, I shouldn't. But April has an emergency surgery to do so she sends me to check on you instead,' Amelia explained again, justifying her impermissible presence in the bar and somehow remind herself once again that she was only there for Arizona, not to drink.

'Why?' Arizona mumbled. She looked at Amelia with her red and puffy eyes. 'Why did I come? April and I are worried about you,' Amelia tried to make out her question from one simple question word and made a guess. 'No, why….would you... the person whom I barely know…...be...here for me...instead of the women I gave my heart away to? 'Arizona uttered. It was very true, Arizona and Amelia barely know each other. Although they both did their residency at John Hopkins, they were rivals at that time fighting to be the best surgeon in their class. They did work together and became more close during the Herman case, but still Arizona always felt like there was some kind of invisible barriers between them. Their busyness and perhaps their hostile past. And even though now that Amelia would sometimes show up in Zola and Sofia's playdates, their topics circled around the kids and work. They really weren't close enough for Amelia to take the chance to go into a bar and find her. Afterall, their relationship fell somewhere in between acquaintance and friends, but not that kind of friends would endanger yourself for the other one.

If it's not for the broken sentences, the clarity of Arizona's mind almost made Amelia question if she was really drunk. 'All the women I loved... left me, Amelia….They don't…. care.. about me….. They don't... care how heartbroken…. I'm when they left. They just left without even ….looking back. First, Callie divorced me. Then, Eliza ghosted me. And now, Carina... '

Amelia could tell there was definitely some sobbing involved in this drunk talking, but she was if it was mostly Arizona's drunkenness or weeping that disturb her fluency. Despite that, she could totally relate to her feelings. 'Well, to be fair, all the men I loved died. My father, Ryan, my son and Derek. They all died. They also left me without giving me any notice. I don't even have a chance to say a proper goodbye,' she poured her heart out, hoping this would bring some resonance to Arizona and let her know that she was not the only one dealing with loved ones departing from their life. Even though she was certain about her motive and determined to cheer up Arizona, it still hurted a lot talking about them. A sharp ache in her heart was accompanied by an instant feeling that she couldn't breathe. She still felt it. The pain was still so real. Tears started to well up in her eyes and blurred her vision.

'I'm so sorry, Amelia,' Arizona now felt bad for her so she placed a hand on Amelia's lap, wishing that this might help her feel better. She felt so guilty that she led their conversation went that way. 'No, it's okay,' Amelia said looking into Arizona bright blue eyes. Her eyes were like a lake. They were so calm, so soothing, and so peaceful, somehow, Amelia felt like they could take away her pain that had been following her for years. She didn't know what that feeling was. In that exact moment, she could feel blood rushing in her veins and every single one of her heartbeats when Arizona's hand landed on her thigh. As a well-trained neurosurgeon, Amelia could explain these physiological effects on her body without a doubt. It was due to the increase in secretion of norepinephrine and epinephrine in her adrenal cortex, but she wasn't sure what the stimuli was. Was she attracted to Arizona or was she just a little bit surprised by this intimacy? Amelia debated in her head.

Suddenly, a couple walked into the bar and pulled Amelia out of her thoughts.

The redhead man wrapped his hand around the woman's waist. Amelia and Arizona's gaze fell on them with nothing but loathe.

'You know how much I hate Owen now? I mean, we talked about getting back the horse, but I never imagined he can find someone this fast.' Amelia joked. She knew making Arizona laugh maybe the only way to get her off wine and talk about her problems instead. 'You know...dating is not a competition, right?' Arizona said in the tone she normally used to talk to Sofia. 'And for your information, I still feel bitter every time when I see those two around. I still feel like Carina left me for Owen, like Owen stole my girlfriend,' Arizona tried to be as focus as she could be when she talked so she could sound more serious while giving this comment.

'Since we both hate Owen right now, do you want to get back at him?' Amelia joked. She dared Arizona as if she was the one who was drunk even though the fact was that she was totally clean and sober for more than two years now. She just had these crazy ideas swirling in her brain all the time, even after the removal of her brain tumor. 'How?' Arizona asked curiously. She was expecting an answer, but instead Amelia pulled her closer. Their eyes locked. Amelia's turquoise eyes reminded Arizona of gemstones. Raw, beautiful and shone like they would give out some kind of radiants,

Their lips touched. For a moment, Amelia enjoyed it and so did Arizona. However, the smell of liquor lingered in Arizona's breath and drew Amelia to pull away. Now, she was finally sane enough realized how bad her idea actually was. 'I'm so sorry, That is very wrong of me to….' Amelia apologized. 'No, it's fine and I think we fulfil your intention,' Arizona said staring and signalling Amelia to look at the shocked couple from the distance.

'Maybe we should go,' Amelia suggested. 'Yea,' Arizona was still not quite over the fact that Amelia Shepherd just kissed her on the lips. Amelia Shepherd, her archrival back in their times during residency and her co-worker for now.

Now, she lost track on what she could do.

'I'm very sorry. I was stupid and… and impulsive. Let me at least pick up your tabs,' Amelia apologized once again. 'Ok,' Arizona was just so over her head and her drunkenness hindered her reflux and did not notice the fact that her tone sounded very much like a lovesick teenage girl while Amelia, on the other hand, was too struck by that kiss and became too preoccupied to notice that.

The oxytocin level at the time was sky high, it's not only sympathy, but also there was more to it, something pink and bubbly like every girl dream of.

Taking a very drunk grown woman back to her house turned out to be not an easy task. With the puking, slurring of speech and occasional handsy moves finally had Amelia convinced that Arizona was really drunk.

Once Amelia managed to call an Uber, settled Arizona in it and told the driver the direction, she actually wanted to go. She couldn't be anywhere near her for one more second. She was drenched in alcohol, even her smell made her want to crave so bad. She wanted a shot of vodka. One would be enough for her. Just one would be enough for her. Just one. On the other hand, her intuition told her that she would not be able to stop once she got this drink, never, really. Everything she did tonight turned out to be huge mistakes. Promising April to look for Arizona and take care of her, going into a bar, kissing Arizona... She's an idiot. She did everything an addict doesn't suppose to do in one night. She need to go. So desperately need to go.

'Amelia….stay…..'once again, Arizona made Amelia confused about how lucid she actually was. With those puppy blue eyes made any denial of her requests seemed like a felony. Ok, fine. Amelia thought to herself. Maybe, taking Arizona back home would actually keep her busy enough to stop thinking about drinking. She didn't know if she was making this up as an excuse or she genuinely wanted to be there for Arizona.

Finally, they arrived at Arizona's house. Deluca was on call tonight so the duo was back alone in an empty house.