"I don't want to be here."

"Really? I never would have thought that, even though you've told me the same thing approximately twenty seven times since we walked through the door."

"I don't enjoy your sarcasm."

"That's a shame, considering I love yours so much."

Jade crossed her arms and raised a perpetually angry-looking eyebrow at him.

Beck innocently blinked. "That, uh, actually wasn't sarcasm."

"Whatever."

Beck sighed as he slid on a rather new-looking combat boot. "Jade, you didn't have to come here with me. I technically didn't even ask you. You just sort of showed up on my doorstep and got into my car."

Jade tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and fiddled with the straw of her soft drink. "I didn't like the idea of you being here alone. You could be pinned down and raped by some four hundred pound hillbilly chick with a NASCAR shirt and a mullet."

Beck slid the other boot on. "Not many people have been raped by a hillbilly in the middle of Walmart."

"Oh, they have. Walmart just kills all the rape victims in the butcher shop and grind them up to make their ground beef so they don't tell anyone because it would be bad for business."

"Gross."

"So is this place."

Beck stood up from the small bench he had been sitting on to try on new boots. He looked down at the dark black combat boots, which looked far too new for his taste… But if he bought them, he could always rub them against a brick wall or something. Or just wear them every other day for three years like he did with his last pair.

"Walmart isn't that bad. Everything's at a good price and they actually have some decent stuff."

Jade sipped her soda and gave him a disapproving look. "I should wash your mouth out with soap for saying something like that."

Beck rolled his eyes. "Okay, Mom."

"You're the one who gave me a time-out at Vega's," Jade bitterly said, crossing her arms and nearly spilling her drink. Or rather, she would have if it didn't already have a lid.

"You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Just like I'm never going to forgive you for bringing me into Hicks R Us."

"We're in Los Angeles," Beck said, sitting down to take the shoes off. He figured they were the best out of the other boots he had tried on. And he wasn't going to try on any more, since Jade already called him a woman for trying on so many. "Not many hillbillies can afford to live here."

"Then why is there a Walmart here?"

"Because not everybody's a snob like you," Beck jokingly said, sliding the boots back into the box they had come in.

Jade scoffed. "Having standards doesn't make me a snob. Not wanting some old lady to harass you as soon as you enter a building doesn't make you a snob either."

Beck stood back up with his box, giving her a condescending look. "She was a greeter. It's her job to say hello to people when they walk into the store. And she was perfectly nice."

"And you should know by now that that annoys me."

"Everything annoys you." Beck started walking out of the shoe department and Jade followed. "Except me."

"You're way off there," Jade muttered, sipping more of her drink.

"How can you be so grumpy?" Beck asked, looking at her as she continued drinking her beverage. "You're drinking a Peppy Cola. Peppy Cola is supposed to make you… peppy."

"Walmart can suck the joy out of anyone. And it's not like I had a lot to begin with."

"But I took you to Taco Bell. You love Taco Bell."

"I hate Taco Bell."

"No, you don't."

"Well, I don't want people knowing I don't."

Beck looked around, seeing that they were near the section with all the infant clothes and supplies. "You're right, the babies might hear and make fun of you."

"Shut up."

"I'll think about it." But mere seconds later, he asked, "Seriously, what's with the Walmart hate?"

"Didn't I just explain this to you?"

"You said something about hillbillies, but that's not a legitimate enough reason."

Jade let out a long, frustrated breath and glared at Beck with light blue eyes that didn't look so light. "The florescent lights make my head hurt, it smells like pee, the people who work here are all old, the people who shop here are all ugly, and there are sticky little kids all over the place, just running around like a bunch of idiotic llamas."

"… Llamas?"

"Yes. Llamas are stupid and so are children."

"Llamas are cool."

"Only you would say that."

"Cat thinks llamas are cool, too."

"And why were you and Cat talking about llamas?"

"Cat's the one who brought it up."

"Ah." That needed no explanation. Not that Beck could have if he tried, because who knows why Cat brings up anything she does?

"So… children are like llamas?"

"Yes."

"… You are a unique person, Jade West."

"I hate you."

Beck smirked at her as they approached the cash register and he sat his boots down. "It could be worse."

"How? How could anything be worse than you dragging me here?" Jade demanded, glaring at the cashier for asking if they found everything okay.

Beck politely told the cashier he found everything fine and as the old man rung his purchase up, he looked back at his beautiful, yet very angry girlfriend. "We could have gone to K Mart."

Jade looked at him for a second, then pointed at him with her free hand. "That's it, I'm buying some soap." She spun around and wandered back into one of the hundreds of aisles in search of the most nauseating bar of soap she could find to shove down her boyfriend's throat.

As soon as she was out of earshot, the elderly cashier handed Beck his bag and quietly said, "That's… That's quite a lady you've got there, sonny."

Beck looked at the cashier for a moment, then at the back of his girlfriend as she retreated down the aisle with all the shampoos and soaps. A small grin graced his features. "You have no idea."

That was so pointless ;_;

I got bored… And I did this in one sitting. You could probably already tell that, though.

I just like writing for Jade and Beck, okay? It's fun to write about them having weird conversations. Ones about llamas and Taco Bell and being raped by country folk.

You know, typical boyfriend/girlfriend conversations.

I might make this a drabble series. Or I might not. It might not just be Bade, but then again, it might be. Don't tell me what to do, voices in my head.

I'll leave before I humiliate myself anymore… OTL