"Poppa was a rollin' stone,
Where ever he hung his hat was his home,
And when he died, all he left was aloooone..."
((This is a repost. I had to change the name so people could actually use the ff.net search engine to find it. I guess having an apostrophe messed it up or something. Sorry if any reviews were lost!))
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Inu Yasha. If I did, do you think I'd be using this worthless computer, posting my lousy fanfics here? No, I'd be..... no... not THAT! Sheesh! Get your minds out of the gutters! Any romance in this story will develop later on. I want this to be something of a humor fic as well. You can expect to see Inu Yasha get jealous, and for there to be a plethora of romantic misunderstandings. ^_~
This fic is something of a spoof on all those fanfics and RPG characters who just "happen" to be Inu Yasha's "long lost" brother or sister. I've seen so few good, or even original ones (there are definitely some good ones, but they are outweighed by the sheer number of bad ones). As a result, I decided to give the whole concept a new, interesting twist. I just got tired of always reading: "So-and-so looked JUST like Inu Yasha except they wore a different color fire-rat outfit" or "had cat ears and a tail and wore a kimono." They always sound the same! People have to realize that not all hanyous look the same, with ears and tails being the only thing that mark them as different as normal humans. Each hanyou is unique. Look at Jinenji, Shiori, and Gyouh! They look way different from Inu Yasha. For that matter, hanyous really aren't that common!!! Why do you think Inu Yasha got treated so badly as a child? I've just decided to add some logic and a bit of creativity to the whole story. Now there's a reason the new characters are related to Inu Yasha, because......
Chapter 1: Poppa Was A Rollin' Stone
The sliver of a moon provided little light that night. The darkened clearing could have fit in nicely in any forest in the northern hemisphere. It had deciduous trees, fruit-laden bushes, animals to eat from both, and of course- youkai. However, all of the clearing's inhabitants were silent that night. There was an unnatural chill in the air that they had learned signified great magic in the works. Near the edge of the clearing was a small, moss-covered rock, about the size of a man's head. Under the moss were carved numerous symbols that belonged to no language spoken on earth, at least, not for a very long time. Over time they had faded into almost nothing, so that even if someone inspected it very carefully, they probably wouldn't notice anything.
Suddenly the runes erupted into action. They burned with a brilliant blue fire, and swiftly started moving. Faster and faster they whirled across the surface of the stone, until they seemed to blend together, and the entire stone shone with their light. That light spread outward from the rock until the entire clearing was swallowed up by it. Then, from within the stone, a shadowy figure emerged. At first, it's features were indeterminable, but slowly they became clearer. The first thing that became apparent was that whoever it was was female. Said woman was quite small, and seemed no older than 15, though appearances can be deceiving. As soon as the last of her body was freed from the stone, she collapsed to the ground panting. For a long while she lay there, trying to regain her breath after having traveled such a long distance through the now cold stone. At last, she got to her knees and was able to get her bearings. Her long, silver ponytail swished back and forth as she peered about, trying to identify her location. She instinctively brushed her long bangs out of her eyes, even though that wouldn't help. No matter what was or wasn't in front of her eyes, she would never be able to see anything with them. Her delicate nostrils flickered as she tried to identify the smells of the place. Slowly, her thin lips parted in a satisfied smile, revealing silvery teeth that were much to sharp to belong to any human.
"At last..." she said, her voice choked with tears of joy, "I..... I'm home....."
***********************
When she finally regained mobility, she stood up to get her bearings. Satisfied that she was indeed in her own world, in the country of her birth, and somewhat near her own time, she set about trying to figure out what her next course of action would be. Then all of a sudden, a male voice split the silence saying, "So now wadda we do?"
She grimaced and suppressed a rude remark. Instead, she chose to say simply, "We do nothing! I try to piece my life back together after all these years of dimension hopping, hero-ing, and traipsing about the entirety of God's green creation!"
"Well that's all well and good for you!" the male voice responded hotly. "But what about me? What am I supposed to do? You think I like it here? Hell no! I'd rather be out boozing, gambling, and carousing, but noooo. You don't do that sort of thing, do you?
"Of course not!" she retorted angrily. "Those are behaviors fit only for the lowest sort of scum- which, I might add, includes you! I never asked for the so-called "pleasure" of your company! You're free to leave whenever you wish!"
"Ooh, I'm hurt. And here I thought my presence was a gift that all ladies were happy to accept." he said sarcastically.
"Well you thought wrong!" she said in a bitter, defeated voice. "I would that I could be rid of you! You've caused me nothing but trouble since the moment we met!"
"Well..... I....." he stammered, unsure of how to react to her sudden shift in mood. "It's not like I meant for any of this to happen! I was just doing what I needed to do to survive! You can't blame a guy for living, can you?" Instead of responding, she turned and began heading north.
"Well, can you?" he asked plaintively. She proceeded in silence, and there was nothing he could do but go with her.
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"Yukikaze, are you done being mad at me yet?" her male companion asked a while later. The long stretch of awkward silence had finally gotten to him. Being the talkative person that he was, quiet was not something he enjoyed.
After a few incomprehensible growls, Yukikaze managed to say "Of course I'm done being mad at you Riyas-"
"Yes! I'm out of the dog house!" he interrupted jubilantly. Having a pretty girl upset with him was another thing he detested.
"I was going to say- how does that old saying go? 'Men forget but never forgive, women forgive but never forget?' That pretty much applies here." she said coldly.
Riyas's heart sank. "Look, I've said I'm sorry as many times as I possibly can. I never meant to cause you any trouble!"
"Well you did a good job of it." she said sorrowfully. "How am I supposed to return to my family?" Her head hung at the thought.
"Family?" he asked quizzically. The two of them had traveled together for quite some time, and she had never mentioned any relatives.
"Yes family!" she said in an irritated tone. "That's why I fought for years to return here. That's why I endured all those trials and tribulations, risking my life more times than I can count. That's why I abandoned friends, lovers, and allies, all in the pursuit of one goal. That's why I gambled everything to come back here. That's what kept me going for more than half a century, even in my darkest hours. I have a family here, and I miss them very much." By the time she finished her tirade, her voice sounded more weary than anything else.
"I see..." he said softly. He paused for a moment, then said in a cheery voice, "Well how are you going to introduce me to them?"
He was rewarded with a chilling silence. "Ooookaaay, touchy topic. They uptight or something?" Unfortunately, his feeble attempt at lightening the mood had the opposite effect.
She growled before replying, "I'm the youngest daughter of the Daimyo of these lands! This sort of thing simply doesn't happen! For all I know they may throw me out on the spot. Your presence may cause me to be disowned by my own family. Don't you realize that?"
"Ummm, no?" he said simply. "I tend not to think about my actions or their consequences." This was the sort of situation he preferred to use his good looks and rakish smile to get out of, but they would not help him now.
She sighed disgustedly, "Well that's the sort of pattern of behavior that gets people into messes like these."
"I suppose it does!" he said cheerily, ignoring her acid tone. "Anyway, why would they want to get rid of you? I'm sure they love you...." he trailed off as he saw her face fall. "Let me guess, they don't?" he inquired.
"It's... not that simple..." she said finally, a lump forming in her throat. "Look, my dad had a lot of kids, I mean A LOT. He was not exactly what you would call the faithful type. Anyway, he always liked kids, but whenever any of us were with him, it didn't seem like he saw us as his own kids. It was more like a close friend of the family stopping by. You couldn't really use the word 'love' with him. That is, except with my oldest brother. He was my father's pride and joy. He had his looks, his grace, his brains, his... well... everything. He seemed like a younger version of my father. He was next in line to rule, and the whole court had faith in him. Well, until my baby brother was born. You see, my father never had more than one kid with the same woman. And in the case of my baby brother, his mother was the only woman my father ever truly loved. He would have died for her, and the same could be said for my youngest brother. My whole world changed in an instant when he was born. Suddenly all of my siblings were sent from the palace and ordered never to return. My father didn't want my brother to feel like his attentions were divided. I think his new love may have also had something to do with that decision." she added darkly.
"In the end, my oldest brother and I only remained because our mothers pulled their weight. My oldest brother's mother was my father's only actual wife. Their marriage had been arranged since their own childhood. The rest were concubines, mistresses, one-night stands, and palace servants. My own mother had originally been my oldest brother's wet nurse, which is how my father met her, and she offered her services to my new brother. That was the one common tie both my oldest and youngest brothers, and myself had in common, besides our father. My mother acted as a sort of mother figure for the three of us. Being a kitsune, she was able to nurse many other kinds of youkai." She gave a weak chuckle. "Thank goodness Father didn't find women that were nursing attractive. In his eagerness to get the little strumpet back in bed, he was willing to allow my mother to stay." she said bitterly.
"Oh ho!"interrupted Riyas, his interest piqued. "Strumpet? Do I detect a note of hostility?" Her tale was getting more and more interesting by the second!
"What do you think?" she spat back at him. "When that.... that.... that...hussy! entered our household, my whole life changed! Suddenly, my father's world revolved around her, and it only got worse when she became pregnant. And how do you think I feel about seeing my brothers and sisters cast from their home because of one harlot? And a human nonetheless!"
"Hey, I'm a human too!" Riyas protested. "Is that so wrong?"
"Considering that my father was a demon, yes, it is so wrong! He was the ruler of these Western Lands!" she waved a hand about for emphasis. "He had a certain image to project, a certain dignity to maintain! It's bad enough that he was a lecher, but coupling with a human is the most foul thing a demon can do! I can't even comprehend how he managed to love that walking sack of protein!"
"Now that's crossing the line!" Riyas exclaimed. "Who're you calling a 'walking sack of protein' anyway?"
Yukikaze sighed in exasperation. "Look, I'm sorry about that. It's a bad habit of mine. Strictly speaking, humans are included in my diet. Not that I've ever eaten one." she added hurriedly. Riyas blanched, but she continued. "It's not that I personally hold a grudge against humans in general even. It's just that since my birth, I've had 'Humans are lower than dirt' pounded into my skull."
"Well you'd think that half a century away from that sort of influence would have cured you of that sort of thinking..." Riyas muttered, somewhat mollified. "And what happened to your younger brother? You haven't called him derogatory names, or insulted his lineage, even though you clearly detest his mother."
Yukikaze's face scrunched up as she tried to hold back tears. Riyas waited with uncharacteristic patience for her to regain her composure. Finally, she pressed on with her tale. "As hard as I tried, I couldn't despise the little runt. He had destroyed my family, but there was something about him that seemed so vulnerable. I felt compelled to protect him, which was a good thing, because just about everyone else had it in for him. They hated him for being a hanyou."
"A what?"" Riyas interjected. "I'm not familiar with the term."
"It means roughly 'Half-demon.' And I'm not surprised you've never heard the word," Yukikaze said with a low laugh, "you come from a world without demons. At least, not in the same sense as the demons from my world."
"You got that right!" Riyas snorted. "In my world, demons are summoned from the depths of Hell by Dark Mages in the hopes of gaining enough power to rule the world. Thing is, the idiots always lose control and the demons end up killing them. Somehow, you don't seem like that sort of demon."
"I suppose not..."Yukikaze admitted with a small smile. "Youkai, as we are called here, tend to cause destruction on a slightly smaller scale."
Satisfied that Yukikaze's mood had improved, Riyas was content to be quiet and enjoy the scenery..... for about five seconds. "So, where are we going again?" he asked in a cheery voice.
For once, Yukikaze responded civilly, saying only "Home." in a reassuring tone.
From a distance, a lone insect watched their progression. It had observed their arrival through the now far-off stone and had listened to their entire conversation. Confident that it's master would be pleased, it flew off to report it's findings.
Upon it's return, the hanyou known as Naraku could hardly contain his glee. Such a marvelous opportunity rarely presented itself for his exploitation. Numerous plots and schemes formed in his mind, each perfect for finally disposing of that annoying Inu Yasha and his friends...
Author's note: Yes yes, this will eventually involve Inu Yasha & Co. You heard Naraku plotting! You just know that sneaky bastard his something up his sleeve... *shifty eyes* And I didn't mean to make Inu Yasha's mother seem like a bad person. It's just at that point in history, mothers sometimes had to be very cut-throat in their methods of ensuring their sons's future. Keep reading, because the more I write, the greater the quality of my work. And don't forget to check out the fanfics of dreamcatcher5, the Jay to my Silent Bob. ^_~